


Clueless Teachers

by Lunael



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial, Gossip, Identity Issues, M/M, Male Slash, Romance, Social Issues, Virginity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-06-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 110,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunael/pseuds/Lunael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hatake Kakashi didn't understand him. Why was he always thinking about the seemingly ordinary chuunin? To find out, he started to follow him around, not realizing that what he was doing was wrong... and could hurt the nice teacher. KakaIru</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Strange Dreams and Obsessions

**Author's Note:**

> I started writting this in 2006 and since I left the Naruto fandom several years ago, I stopped updating this story, mostly due to lack of interest... To the great disappointment of some readers I have to say, who have been -literally - nagging me for years to finish this story. For this reason (and also because I've been working on this story for so long it would be a shame not to give it a proper ending) I have already promised readers I would finish it. I published a new chapter in November 2012, and two more are to come. As to when, I have no idea... But fear not, I'll definitely find a way to wrap this up in 2013. 
> 
> Since I wrote most of this story years ago, it's quite old and I wasn't the writer I am now when I wrote most of this story. Be clement. I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless. And leave comments of course.

Wide, strong hands were exploring his body, light touches making him shiver with a kind of longing he had never experienced before. He could feel the man’s warm breath on his neck, his lips so close to his burning skin that it left him helpless and panting with desire and need. A hand slowly crept under his shirt and began to crawl up on his torso, sending waves of electricity through his whole body that made him gasp, his knees starting to feel increasingly weak under the other man’s ministrations. He turned his head around to see the face of the person who was making him feel so strange, yet so good, hoping to finally be able to get a taste of those teasing lips...

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Iruka jumped with a yelp of surprise at the ringing sound, startled. The next thing he knew, his face and torso were flattened against something cold and hard and he winced at the sudden pain and lack of warmth. Confused and still very sleepy, the chuunin opened his sore eyes and stared his baby blue slippers dumbly. After a few seconds of staring, his brain finally kicked in and the academy teacher realized he was lying flat on the floor, his alarm clock ringing loudly on his bed table.

Oh. So it was morning. And he must have fallen off his bed...

Right, that made sense.

Iruka groaned and slowly, his hand crawled up his night table and shut off the alarm to spare his neighbours’ and his own ears. Still feeling sleepy, he let himself fall back to the ground, sighing. He wished he could just snuggle under his warm blankets and go back to sleep again, but he knew from experience that doing such a thing meant arriving late at work, and arriving late at work meant too much trouble to be worth it. But at the moment that argument was completely lost upon the young man, whose whole being longed for that warm and comfortable bed he had been torn away from so harshly. What a shame, he had been having such a nice dream too... Wait, what had he been dreaming about again? He was feeling so sleepy...

And then, it came back to him. Hands. A _man_ ’s hands. That thought woke the young man’s dreamy mind up like a cold shower and he started to blush madly at the realization that he just had a wet dream. A wet dream involving a man, moreover. A _man_ , for God’s sake! What was that dream exactly?! No, it couldn’t be. There was no way he could have such twisted fantasies!

But as the memory of his perverted dream became clearer, Iruka couldn’t deny it had felt amazingly hot to have those strong hands exploring his body. And how he had longed to kiss those hot, teasing lips that had been breathing down his burning neck, too! Which only made him feel even more upset, a blush creeping again to his tanned cheeks. It wasn’t right - that couldn’t be… It couldn’t be right.

Rather disturbed by the whole affair, the chuunin shook his head and hurried to the bathroom to take a warm shower, hoping it would help him to calm down and see clear through this mess. He rapidly striped down and went under the shower spray, wincing when the cold stream of water hit him, but it soon started to heat up and the man sighed, thankful for the warmth. As water was pouring on his head, Iruka thought was had just happened over, trying to rationalize this strange dream. There was ought to be a logical way to explain what had just taken place, whatever it had been...

At length, the brown-haired man realized his mild panic attack hadn’t been called for. He was already 26 year old and, as unbelievable and oddly shocking as it might sound to some people, he had never had sex before. It was only normal that he thought of things like that once in a while, wasn’t it? He was a man, after all. And it wasn’t like he never thought about sex before… He wasn’t a saint for God’s sake!

‘ _But you never imagined yourself doing those things with a **man** before_ ,’ added a small nagging voice in his head, making him frown thoughtfully. Why was that? Why had he dreamed of a man? Was he getting _that_ desperate? If that was the case, then he truly needed to get a girlfriend… Or at the very least, to get laid.

The chuunin sighed in resignation. He guessed he’d have to ask his fellow academy teachers to play matchmaker for him in the end. They’d been DYING to set him up for years, God only knew why... But to say the truth, Iruka hadn’t felt like being in a relationship up until now. And he _still_ didn’t feel like it, as a matter of fact. Somehow dating girls and having sex had never quite appealed to him, not even back in his teenage years, when growing young men suddenly started to see their feminine team mates under a new light after they reached a certain age and their hormones kicked in. And somehow, sharing his life with a ‘significant other’ was not particularly interesting him either - he was doing fine by his own and didn’t need anyone to make his life significant, thank you very much. He sighed at the thought, feeling suddenly tired. He guessed he would have to put away his reluctance and try to find himself a girlfriend, because it was definitely –not- normal for a healthy young man such as himself to dream about men like that... Not normal at all.

When he came out of his shower, Iruka had a second panic attack when he glanced at his watch and realized he had ten minutes to get to the Academy before the classes started. Panicking, he tried to get dressed, brush his teeth and comb his hair at the same time to win time, managing to be roughly ready to school in around 67.3 seconds, a new personal record. After winning over his pants and grabbing the pile of homework he had to hand back to his students, the chuunin set off running to the Ninja Academy at top speed, hoping that he wouldn’t arrive too late. He didn’t even want to imagine the state his class would be in if he let it under the care of thirty ninja wannabes for more than five minutes...

He was so desperate to arrive on time that he bumped into someone halfway to the academy and fell hard to the ground, homework spilling out of his hands and happily spreading around him. Quickly getting up, the academy teacher fought the blush of mortification that menacing to creep up to his face. That was just his luck, really... Running into someone in the middle of a crowded street - it couldn’t get more unprofessional than this. He was supposed to be a chuunin dammit, and chuunins were NOT, by all means, supposed to run into people! Damn this stupid dream for making him so ridiculously upset and unfocused…!

Embarrassed, Iruka looked up to see who he had to apologize to, only to see a masked face and a bunch of silver hair. At that sight, the brown-haired man felt his heart sink yet lower. Great. Somehow he managed to make a fool of himself in front of Hatake Kakashi, one of the most famous and sharp spoken nin in town. On a crowded street, moreover. This sure sounded like the beginning of another great day.

“I am sorry Kakashi-sensei, I wasn’t looking where I was going. Please excuse me,” Iruka bowed deeply at the other man, his cheeks blushing from embarrassment. Without sparing the taller man or the surrounding passersby who were staring at him with curious amusement a glance – the chuunin doubted his self-esteem could take so much- he started to pick up the homework resting on the ground around him hastily. The faster he was out of there, the less he would have to listen to the man’s sharp comments. But the Copy nin, strangely enough, did not retort some sarcastic remark about Iruka’s clumsiness like the brown-haired man had expected him to. Far from being annoyed, the relaxed jounin didn’t seem to mind having a man crashing into him to start with.

“Maa, it’s okay. I guess I was in the way...” he simply answered as he kneeled down and started picking up homework to help the brown-haired man. Iruka looked up in surprise at the older man. Wasn’t Kakashi-sensei supposed to be a lazy bastard? Maybe Naruto exaggerated a bit... Cross that out, he probably had exaggerated a lot. Well, that was Naruto we were speaking of, after all. Shaking himself out of his reverie, the chuunin hastily went back to collecting the rebellious papers, suddenly feeling even more ridiculous and embarrassed than before for having such unfair thoughts about the Copy nin.

Seconds later, the jounin handed the sheets he had picked up to the other teacher, who blushed, thanked him profusely, excused himself and bowed once more before setting off to the ninja academy at top speed again. People around them went back to their occupations without other thoughts, but Kakashi just stayed there, looking at the spot the chuunin once had been standing, a thoughtful look on the small visible part of his face. After a while, he sighed, put his hands in his pockets and slowly walked away.

\--

When the last student left the class, Iruka sighed and fell on his chair, exhausted. It had been another rough day... He loved teaching to children, he seriously did, but he had to admit that on some occasions he truly did hate his job. Like on ‘ _those_ days’ that made every teacher so edgy they wanted to slice the little monsters’ throats to finally put an end to the constant racket. And unfortunately enough for the young chuunin, he had just gone through one superb example of one of ‘ _those_ days’. And as if his nerves had not suffered enough for the day, he had been assigned a mission desk shift after the classes were over, too. At the thought, Iruka sighed with resignation, picked up the new homework he had to correct and very slowly made his way to the mission room. Might as well get over with it already... And besides, it was not like the day could get any worse; he liked to think one man could only have so much bad karma.

As he walked, Iruka wished they’d be able to close the mission room early; he was truly exhausted and needed to correct all these copies for tomorrow. Anyway, it was almost a loss of time to work at the mission desk at that time of the year because the village was low on missions, which meant there were not a lot of people handing mission reports back at the end of the day. And waiting for late nins in an empty mission room for _hours_ on was not really Iruka’s idea of a nice evening, or even of a dutiful one. But it was not like he could turn down the Godaime’s assignments after all…

All too quickly, Iruka reached the mission room, at little bit late by his standards - that is to say 5 minutes before his shift started. The mission room was rather quiet and the two nins working at the desk and Genma -who probably spent more time at the mission room than at his own place, Iruka mused- greeted the chuunin silently. The brown-haired man waved at them before taking a seat at the desk and getting ready to do his job, while one of the nins started packing his belongings, his own shift over.

“Hey Iruka, you sure look tired today,” Genma told him, sucking on his senbon thoughtfully.

“Kids have been hard on you again?” the off-duty mission desk nin asked him with a small smile.

“Indeed, they have,” the chuunin sighed.

“Don’t worry sensei, there’s not a lot of job left for us. We’ll be able to leave early today, all the mission reports have been handed in... Except for one,” Iruka’s coworker said cheerfully, her arms folded behind her head.

“I wouldn’t say that if I were you. The last mission report is Hatake Kakashi’s,” Genma answered dully as he eyed the mission list.

Iruka and his coworker groaned. It was common knowledge to anyone who worked at the mission desk, or people like Genma, that the famous Sharigan user never handed his mission reports on time.

“That’s bad! That guy is always late,” the girl sighed, now looking depressed.

“If you ask me, it’s a small miracle the guy made it to jounin. No decent ninja can survive for very long with such an attitude,” the other man said, disapproving.

“You don’t know what you are talking about,” Genma replied flatly. He looked around for eavesdroppers, bent down and started murmuring, making everyone bend down toward him to hear clearly. “This bloke, Kakashi... He’s no ordinary jounin. A genius, that’s what he is. I went on a mission with him once. I’m telling you, he’s not to be underestimated.”

“Really?” the woman asked with quiet eagerness and she and the off-duty nin moved closer to the whispering man, greedy for more gossips. Iruka did so as well, although he was rather ashamed of himself to listen to petty mission room gossip like some brainless schoolgirl. But he couldn’t help listening, curiosity getting the best of him. He didn’t know his favorite ex-student’s teacher very well – he had talked to him only three or four times – and was, truth being told, a little curious to find out more about the secretive man.

“Now that I think about it, I heard the Godaime tell him once that he was one of the best shinobi of Konoha... I thought it was weird, it’s not like her to give away compliments like that,” the off-duty staff member whispered, looking excited.

“I heard he was a chuunin at the age of six...”

“But he’s so lazy and... Weird.”

“My point exactly,” Genma said at once. “It’s a well known fact that geniuses are eccentric. What is he if he’s not an eccentric bastard?”

“Yeah, I agree with you. He’s definitely bizarre with his mask… What does he have to hide, anyway?”

“He must be quite a horrible sight to hide his face all the time like that,” the woman said in a compassionate way.

“You still haven’t figured him out, huh? I bet he’s really _handsome_ and wears a mask just to drive people crazy. That would be the kind of thing that would make him laugh his ass off, I’m sure of it,” Genma told them with a sarcastic smile.

“Yeah, we all know that he has weird tastes... They say he keeps on reading that perverted book of his all day long. In plain daylight and all. That’s just... gross!”

“And his hair style? Don’t tell me it’s natural! He must spend _hours_ to make it stay still that way,” the blond-haired kunoichi added matter-of-factly and Iruka rolled his eyes, seeing where their discussion was heading.

“I heard he picks fights with that weird jounin Maito Gai just for the fun of it... What kind of man would do that?”

“Yeah, I even heard he likes to sneak up behind people’s back too,” a fourth voice added behind them. They all jumped around to find the infamous masked silver-haired man they had been shamelessly talking about standing behind them, leaning against the mission room’s wall casually. Breath caught in their suddenly dry throat, they blanched with mortification.

“H-Hatake-sama!”

“Yo,” the Copy nin greeted them, his single eye curving happily.

Once he was over the shock, Iruka felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. He hoped against all hopes that the jounin wouldn’t go imagining he had actively taken part in that stupid discussion… For some reason, he didn’t want the Copy nin to think too badly of him. But it obviously wasn’t something the chuunin needed to be concerned about; Kakashi-sensei didn’t seem to mind at all to have run into gossips about him. He even looked quite amused by the whole situation. Well, Iruka could see how this situation could look amusing to him, seeing his coworkers’ abashed faces. They truly made quite a sight, gaping at him as if Uchiha Itachi himself had popped out of thin air in the middle of the mission room.

Well, he guessed they pretty much all deserved it.

After a very awkward moment, Iruka spoke up to break the awkward silence.

“Is there anything we can do for you, Hatake-san?”

At those words, Kakashi lazily approached the mission desk to stop in front of Iruka, who was slightly puzzled by the serious way the silver-haired man was staring at him. Iruka stared back, sweating a bit. When the other man kept on staring silently, the chuunin felt his throat tighten and his pulse go faster as he became increasingly nervous and apprehensive. What the hell did the other man want? Was he mad at him or what? He couldn’t seriously be pissed at him because of the gossip eavesdropping he’s done, right? But what else could this be about, seriously? The last time he had seriously spoken to him, it was about team seven’s selection for the chuunin exam, and that was _years_ ago. Sure enough the man wouldn’t bear a grudge against him anymore, right? Or maybe he felt annoyed at him for what had happened in the morning? But he didn’t seem to be angry about it back then… So why...?

As Iruka was trying to figure out why the jounin was staring at him so intendly, the man’s hand went to one of his pockets and fished out of it a slightly crumpled mission report that he held out to the chuunin. Iruka suddenly stopped fretting and stared at the paper held in front of him blankly for a second before taking it away swiftly, fighting back a blush of embarrassment. Just how much of a complete moron was he? It was obvious the Copy nin had only wanted to give him his mission report! Why else did people come to the mission room for to start with anyway? Geez, he couldn’t believe he had managed to look like a complete incompetent idiot _twice_ in front of his favourite ex-student’s teacher in the same day…

As he tried to focus on checking out the report he had previously been handed and keep his blush under control, Iruka suddenly heard the silver-haired man chuckle quietly. Startled, he looked up, and sure enough the older shinobi’s eye was curved up again with obvious mirth. Hatake Kakashi was _laughing at him_? What the hell!

“Maa, Iruka-sensei, you seem a bit out of it today,” the Sharigan user told him on a playfully reproachful tone before turning around and walking away, his notorious perverted book in front of his face again as he casually left the mission room. Iruka stared, then blushed again and hastily gave a closer look to the report. It seemed to be in order, so he put it with the others with a small thankful smile, shrugging his previous strange interaction with the ex-anbu as another crazy jounin’s antic.

“That was strange.”

“Yep,” Genma commented with all due seriousness, “He’s a weird fellow, that Hatake Kakashi.”

“Well I guess we can pack up now and close the mission room now, don’t we?” The brown-haired man stated cheerfully as he tidied up his desk. Even if the jounin had acted so strangely, he couldn’t help but like the man at the moment because his unusual appearance meant he was able to head home early. At least he would have time to grade the homework now... Not that he was looking forward to it, but it had to be done before he could have a good night of sleep, and he happened to badly need one.

On his way home, Iruka’s mind wandered again, musing about the strange elite jounin known as the Copy nin. The man seemed to be a real enigma. He wondered how much of what he’d heard in the mission room was true. Probably very little. A mysterious man who was rumoured to be one of the strongest nins of the whole village... Somehow, that sounded like the description of the protagonist of some rather cheesy romance novel. The kind of man women always fell for... If that was the case, then the guy probably had a fanclub of his own somewhere in Konoha, waiting for him in a bush to try to get a date out of him. Iruka smirked at the thought, imagining the jounin running away from a crowd of crazy ninja fangirls – the latter, he established, being ten times creepier than normal fangirls since they could use their ninja skills to stalk you. The chuunin chuckled silently at the mental image, ignoring people who sent him strange glances on his way.

Well, Iruka guessed that all in all, he didn’t mind the strange jounin’s quirks. Because there were no doubts that Kakashi-sensei was an eccentric man – the academy teacher knew that much about the man. But it didn’t bother him much. What if he liked to wear a mask and act like a lazy, careless ass? As long as the man was a good teacher to Naruto –and Sasuke and Sakura, of course- the rest didn’t really matter, right? Anyway, he couldn’t be worse than that Jiraiya Naruto had spent two years with. Compared with an old irresponsible pervert, an eccentric man was fine... Even if said eccentric man read porn in public. At least _he_ wouldn’t talk his students into taking a peek at women in public bathhouses…

Iruka smiled at his own chain of thoughts. There he was, worrying about Naruto again. The blonde was fifteen already; he was hardly an impressionable child anymore, yet he couldn’t help feeling a little overprotective of the young man. Iruka sighed at the thought and suddenly felt old. Far too old for his age. To think that not so long ago, he still used to teach to that exuberant blond boy... Now the exuberant blond boy had turned into a responsible and dependable young man looking forward to his jounin exams, and some part of him had trouble to adjust to this reality.

All of a sudden, Iruka heard his name being yelled behind him and his lips curved into a smile. He turned around to see his interlocutor, but it was futile; he knew only too well that there was only one person on Earth to yell his name through a crowded street that way.

“Hey, Naruto!” he called back to the teenager, smiling brightly.

“Iruka-sensei, let’s eat ramen together! My treat today!”

‘ _Some things might change, but some never will,’_ Iruka sighed with a small smile. “Sure,” he answered fondly, forgetting about his tiredness and heading for the ramen stand with his ex-pupil instead of home.

\--

The Copy nin was walking nonchalantly down Konoha’s busy streets, reading absent-mindedly his notorious orange book. He was aware of the curious stares and whispers that followed him but he ignored them, as he always did. Even though he didn’t seem to, the man was deep in thoughts about something. Or rather, about someone. Someone he’d been thinking about a lot in the past year. A chuunin going under the name of Umino Iruka.

The man was a real enigma! When he had first met him, he had thought that there was something odd about him, something... _special_ about him. He hadn’t thought much of it back then and had easily dismissed it as a false first impression. But as they met more often and as he started to get to know better the man, the strange impression somehow lingered and even amplified. Wherever he was, Umino Iruka somehow always managed to get his attention, to catch his eye in a way or in another and leave him staring in a perplexed way. The silver-haired man didn’t give these impressions much thought until around six months ago, when he realized with a jolt that the strange brown-haired man was on his mind more often than any of the other ninjas he had to work with on a daily basis. And that was definitely not normal, especially since he almost never saw or even less _talked_ to the polite chuunin. No, it was not normal at all. It didn’t take a genius to realize there was something seriously wrong there.

At first, the Copy nin hadn’t been able to explain properly why the brown-haired man was catching his eye like that. The whole issue soon started to obsess him and he found himself spending more and more time wondering what about the seemingly quite ordinary chuunin was leaving him so puzzled. At some point, he secluded himself into his tiny apartment for days, frowning thoughtfully to his ceiling as he tried to figure out why he thought so much of Umino Iruka, but he really couldn’t figure out why. After a while, the elite jounin came to a logical yet a bit peculiar conclusion: his obsession with Umino Iruka was caused by some kind of instinct - an instinct warning him that there was something _off_ with the man, something out of place.

Seriously, what else could it be? The man gave him a funny feeling every time they met, and somehow he kept on thinking about him all the time. He truly couldn’t think of anything else to explain _that_.

Maybe the academy teacher wasn’t the man he led on to be? Maybe he had hidden issues? Mental or health problems? He didn’t know for sure, but he was sure of one thing: there was something funny about the chuunin, something _abnormal_ , and he was determined to find out what it was. What if the man was dangerous for the village? He couldn’t allow that. He _wouldn’t_ allow that.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t just walk in the Hokage’s office and warn her about the chuunin’s abnormality when the only thing he had against him was a mere _warning instinct_. That was the kind of thing that could get him followed by an ANBU for months just in case – they never took any chance when they thought some high-ranked nin was starting to turn abnormally paranoid. And Kakashi fancied too much his privacy to even give it a try. And as far as he knew, there might be nothing wrong with the brown-haired ninja... although he seriously doubted it. Oh, the Copy nin knew that even _he_ could make mistakes when portraying an enemy - or an ally, as a matter of fact - but he tended to be right about those kind of things and people generally trusted his judgment. And somehow, he _knew_ that Umino Iruka was special in some kind of way, but ignored how. And he was determined to find out what was wrong about the man and then, when he’d have evidence of what was going on, share his suspicions with the fifth Hokage herself. It was, after all, the only thing he could do about it that didn’t involve having his mental health questioned, which he wanted to avoid at all cost.

Of course, the Sharigan user saw the whole issue as a special, self-imposed undercover information-gathering mission. And as the trained nin he was, he knew what he had to do to get the evidence he needed to alert the Hokage. First, he needed to gather as much information about the subject as possible to know where to start his inquiry. To do so, Kakashi did the only thing that came to his mind in a situation like this.

He stalked Umino Iruka.

Not the perverted kind of stalking, mind you - he was not as perverted as people imagined. No, just normal stalking.

The problem was that it was not an easy task to spy on Umino Iruka. First, Godaime made sure to keep him busy with A and S-rank missions. Moreover, Kakashi soon found out that Iruka was very perceptive for a mere chuunin, which increased the difficulty of his self-imposed mission. He had to be very careful and couldn’t risk stalking the chuunin too often if he wanted to remain undetected by the other nin. Furthermore, since Sasuke’s return three months ago, he had been asked to supervise team seven’s training again. And teaching three very talented fifteen year olds was a lot more challenging and demanding than teaching newly promoted genins had been. So the jounin had very little time left to gather information about Umino Iruka between dealing with improving teenagers and high-ranked missions, and the first step of his 'mission' was going very slowly.

After about five months of stalking, Kakashi realized with annoyance that what he had found out about the man had gotten him no further forward – because as strange as it sounded, there seemed to be absolutely _nothing_ abnormal with the brown-haired chuunin. To say the truth, he had never met someone as... plain as his students’ ex-teacher. Iruka-sensei worked, graded papers, read, trained and randomly treated Naruto to ramen, and that was all. He ate healthy food, always ran his errands and cleaned his house on Saturday mornings, got up and went to bed early. Nothing fabulous there. In many ways, the academy teacher was probably the most normal person had he ever met. Which didn’t help him much.

Moreover, the chuunin seemed to be a healthy and stable man – which greatly puzzled the silver-haired man, who often wondered how somebody could deal with thirty pre-genins holding sharp, pointy things on a daily basis and still have some kind of sense of humour at the end of the day. Not to mention that he was, in fact, quite a nice guy; the man was polite, comprehensive and caring, yet he knew what he wanted and didn’t fear to assert his authority and make people respect his point of views when needed be. As far as the jounin could tell, Umino Iruka was a loyal, stable and jovial man who valued respect, honesty and friendship - which refuted Kakashi’s vague theories about the chuunin, much to his annoyance. And somehow, the Sharigan user highly doubted the brunette was faking those - and if he was, then he was the best actor he had ever seen and definitely deserved to be promoted to the spying squad. But none of that information seemed to truly help him and it seemed that the more he learned about the brown-haired man, the more obsessed he became with him...

As he was walking, Kakashi thought about changing his approach a bit, since his information gathering method hadn’t been very successful so far. Maybe he could try to interact more with Iruka… But since the jounin seriously lacked experience in this kind of things and was at loss when he tried to find normal ways to interact with anyone beyond the usual “Hi”, “How are you”, and “How was your mission”, that option didn’t sound very appealing to him. Of course, he could also try to ask casually about Iruka to people who knew him. But how could he do it without being suspicious, especially since he almost never talked to anyone? This mission was getting troublesome… Maybe it would be simpler to just steal the Hokage’s official report concerning the chuunin. Sure enough there would be something written in there about the man’s abnormality! There was no way the Hokage couldn’t be aware of something this obvious!

As he was thinking about ways to break into Tsunade’s office, he passed by the ramen bar, Ichiraku, where could be found the subject of his musings eating ramen with his favorite ex-student. Kakashi automatically headed to the ramen bar and casually sat three feet away from his student – he might not be very good at these “bonding” things, but he could recognize a good occasion when he saw one. If he was lucky, he might be able to get something out of it…

As soon as he was seated, the blonde’s head turned around and Naruto predictably gaped at him with a kind of childish indignant incredulousness he was known through the village for.

“Kakashi-sensei! What are YOU doing here?!”

“Maa, can’t I eat ramen too?” the man answered casually, amused by the teen’s predictable outburst.

Naruto stared suspiciously at him, his eyes narrowed – Kakashi knew the blonde knew him far too well to actually believe he would indulge into ramen without being forced to by the ramen-lover, but he thankfully said nothing about it. Behind the suspicious blonde, Iruka looked up at the jounin and politely greeted him and Kakashi waved back at him nonchalantly before the two others resumed their conversation. The Sharigan then faked interest for the menu, listening intently to Naruto’s usual babblings as his eye went up and down the rather dirty flyer. Iruka, he quickly noticed, was eating his ramen slowly and nodding randomly at Naruto’s words, a relaxed expression on his average features. He tried his best to hide it to the blond teen, but his stance was giving away his exhaustion: he seemed to have had yet another rough day. The jounin sure understood the tanned man’s tiredness; those little hellions at the ninja academy never spared the poor guy. He’d seen them at it – Kakashi honestly couldn’t understand how Iruka had managed not to have at least one nervous breakdown in all those years of teaching – he knew half of the jounin population of Konoha would have. Maybe _that_ was what something wrong with the man... But somehow he doubted that the Hokage would take him seriously if he told her Umino Iruka had a problem because he hadn’t snapped and strangled one of the little hellions he liked to call his students yet.

Kakashi passed his order to the old man who was running the shop and waited nonchalantly for his food, still listening to his student’s rant. As his order arrived, the jounin noticed a rather annoyed-looking Sasuke walking in wide strides toward the ramen bar, closely tailed by an on full date-asking mode Sakura and he inwardly chuckled at the familiar sight. All these years and the pink-haired kunoichi still hadn’t gotten a clue… If Gai would have been there to witness this all too familiar scene, he would have probably shouted at the top of his lungs something about the marvels of youth… But as Hatake Kakashi was fortunately enough not the Green beast – for one Green beast was enough, thank you very much - he simply curved his uncovered eye in what people who had a thorough knowledge of him could recognize as a sarcastic smile at the sight. Then Sasuke, suddenly spotting Naruto at the bar, went straight to him and wasted no time to challenge him into a fight, probably hoping to vent out his frustration on his rival and best friend AND to get rid of the pink-haired girl at the same time, the jounin suspected. But Naruto had grown up with the years and gained maturity, so he told the raven-haired boy to wait until he had finished eating with Iruka-sensei to get his ass kicked, which seemed to annoy the already pissed-looking Uchiha heir even more. Changing his tactic, the raven-haired teenager smirked smugly, bent forward and added a few well chosen words, knowing far too well how to get a reaction out of the blonde. And sure enough, after some ear-splitting protests and a quick apology to his favourite ex-teacher, Naruto was following the other teen to the training area, closely tailed by a now pouting Sakura, much to the silver-haired man’s amusement. No matter how redundant and predictable his three students could be, they never failed to entertain him. Iruka was watching the three of them go away as well, a small nostalgic smile on his lips and somehow, Kakashi had a pretty good idea what the chuunin was thinking about at that precise moment. There was his chance to get closer to the man…!

“Time goes by, but they don’t change much,” Kakashi said casually, hoping to get a reaction out of the chuunin. And sure enough, the brown-haired nin turned his head toward Kakashi to stare at him, looking surprised by the quiet jounin’s sudden comment. Then, his eyes warmed up and he chuckled with an endearing mix of amusement and nostalgia. “No, they sure don’t.”

Kakashi simply smiled and nodded, not really knowing what to add to his. They remained silent for a while and eventually, the teacher went back to his ramen bowl. Kakashi stared at his own untouched bowl with increasing frustration and helplessness as the silence stretched even more, at a loss about what to say next. He knew he was supposed to say something back if he wanted to start a discussion with the man and possibly get to know him better, but he really had no idea what to tell the chuunin. What people normally talked about on such situation, anyway? He had to admit he had no clue: he had never been at ease around people and had always managed to avoid having real discussions -ones that didn’t involve missions or training- with anyone for too long. Except for Gai of course, but it didn’t count since discussions involving Gai tended to be one-sided. As Kakashi was brooding over his frustrating lack of social skills, Iruka silently finished eating his ramen and paid for his and his favourite student’s order, and at the realization of the chuunin’s eminent departure, the Copy nin inwardly cursed himself for ruining such a good occasion to talk to the academy teacher. But as the Sharigan user thought the chuunin would get up and leave, Iruka finally spoke up to him, to the silver-haired man’s relief.

“So tell me Kakashi-sensei, how’s Naruto doing?”

It was a fair question. To his credit, Kakashi took a moment to think it over before answering. Of course, Naruto’s skills had vastly improved in the past years and even in the past months, no one could deny it, the jounin thought with pride. The blond teen was no longer clumsy and the experience he had obtained with the Sannin had turned him into a quite talented nin. The young man seemed to have also gained maturity as well; he was calmer and more thoughtful than before, even if it didn’t always show. Much to Kakashi’s pleasure, he had gotten himself friends of his age over the years and, needless to say, he also had learned to trust his team mates and work along with them and Kakashi couldn’t help but think that was his best improvement so far. He truly was glad none of his students learnt the value of friendship and the importance of trusting others the hard way, like he had... He wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone, and especially not to _them_.

“He’s improved a lot,” the jounin said simply after a while. As the words were out of his mouth, he felt those few words were not enough to describe the teen’s improvement and express how proud he was of his pupil’s achievements, but the Copy nin had never been good at expressing his true emotions – and he doubted he would ever be. Iruka stared at him for a while, as if he was evaluating what the man had said. Kakashi wasn’t known for being very talkative, thus what he said meant a lot. The chuunin must have understood that, because he suddenly smiled brightly at the Sharigan user. “Then I’m glad.”

Iruka then sighed and stared into the night thoughtfully and Kakashi couldn’t help but stare at him, fascinated by the man’s openness; it was truly amazing how much his tanned face could display his emotions. When he was angry, his face twisted with fury and his dark eyes seemed to burn with the intensity of his resentment, while those same eyes could warm up so pleasantly and sweetly when the man smiled and laughed. The jounin wished he could find the answer to what was so special about Umino Iruka in the man’s brown eyes… But when he looked into those, he found only kindness, determination, faith in life, scars of a distant, difficult past and a tad of loneliness... But definitely not what he was looking for, whatever it was supposed to be.

As he stared into the night, Iruka felt the back of his neck prickle, as if someone was watching him. The chuunin looked up slowly at Kakashi, who was indeed staring hard at him, a strange, funny expression on the very little exposed part of his face.

“Errr... What is it, Kakashi-sensei?” Iruka asked cautiously, looking a bit wary at the strange look the man was giving him.

The jounin didn’t answer at first and kept on staring at the younger man until he could feel him squirming nervously under his gaze. Then he spoke up slowly, his eye never leaving the increasingly anxious academy teacher.

“You’re...” The brown haired man looked expectantly at him, and the jounin said the only word that came to his mind to describe the complex man sitting beside him with puzzled eyes. “... _strange_.”

Whatever Iruka had expected him to answer, Kakashi guessed that ‘strange’ had never passed through his mind as he watched the man’s eyes widen with astonishment.

“I’m strange?” he asked with a bemused voice and the jounin nodded, finding the younger man’s bewilderment somewhat amusing. The brown-haired man blinked at him twice in confusion, then he smirked and gave the Copy nin a look that clearly meant ‘Well you’re one to talk’. But unfortunately, he kept any sarcastic retort he may have had to himself as he sighed, got up, said good bye to the older man and quietly left the ramen bar.

Kakashi watched the man's retreating figure disappear into the night with disappointment and sadness. He had done it. He had driven him away. How was he supposed to learn more about him if he kept on scaring him away every time they met? The silver-haired man stared sullenly at his own untouched -and not so warm anymore- ramen bowl and suddenly didn’t feel like eating at all. Sighing sadly, he wondered why it all affected him so much.

Kakashi silently paid his own bowl and walked away, his mind as confused as before.


	2. Followed?

The sun was long gone when Umino Iruka absent-mindedly threw away the remains of his late dinner – which could be considered the whole serving itself, since he hasn't been feeling hungry that day. Nor has he for quite a lot of time, now that he thought about it. With a resigned sigh, he silently started to wash his dirty dishes, a task he usually liked for it allowed him to relax after a long, stressful day of work at the academy and momentarily forget about all his worries and petty problems. But for some reason, he wasn't able to let go like he usually did when he washed his dishes anymore, his restless mind keeping him tense and hedgy. In fact, he had been feeling restless and braced for three whole weeks now – well, ever since he started feeling suspicious...

He had been at the ramen bar with Naruto when it had first occurred. As he was eating his ramen with the blonde teenager, the chuunin had the distinct impression that he was being observed. At first, he had thought his imagination playing tricks on him, but as time passed by the alarming feeling only intensified and sharpened, to his horror. There didn't seem to be any kind of pattern for it, except for the fact that the feeling generally lasted only a few hours before suddenly disappearing as fast as it had appeared. But during those hours, the brown-haired man could feel _those_ eyes on him. Eyes that watched him unblinkingly, wherever he went and whatever he did - whether he worked at the academy, treated Naruto to ramen, graded papers or even washed his clothes. Eyes that made him feel strangely uneasy and dirty, even. Eyes that he quickly started to hate.

Eleven days ago, the brown-haired man had to come to the unnerving yet inexorable conclusion: Somebody was spying on him.

Of course, being a good ninja and knowing the protocol by heart, he did as if he had not noticed being followed around and went on with his daily life to lure his spy into a false sense of security. Which, Iruka soon discovered, proved to be a lot more difficult than he initially thought it would be. The academy teacher knew of his strength and limits: he knew very well – as did half of the village – that he was, by all means, no comedian, and although he put all his mind into it, he couldn't help but worry about giving himself away. What if was doing a horrible job at faking being normal? Even though he had been trained for those kind of things, forcing himself to act normally and smile day after day when he knew there was something wrong going on was starting to strain him. Even breathing calmly seemed painful when he felt the presence of his stalker near him when he was alone in his apartment...

Iruka was a ninja, so he didn't fear to be attacked by the mysterious spy. He was confident of his skills and if needed be, he'd be able to defend himself, even if some people seemed to forget it because he was working as an office clerk. No, he didn't physically fear the mysterious nin at all. But feeling his eyes on him, knowing that his intimacy was violated made him tense and very... _uneasy_ , at the very least. Before this all began, the chuunin would have never thought that he'd be so upset over being stalked; he now knew better.

As stupid as it sounded, the thing he found the most difficult was to change his clothes and take his shower without blushing with embarrassment – why on Earth had he never cared to install curtains on his windows, anyway? Mind you, he had never thought someone would take so much interest in him as to watch him _showering,_ of all things... God, he didn't even want to think about it.

On the brighter side, Iruka hadn't felt the gaze of his stalker on him at all for the last two days, which was definitely a good thing. The chuunin wished that the spy was gone for good, but he knew better - it was probably just a matter of time before he showed up again. He often left him alone for one or two days in a row but unfortunately, he had always come back so far. Which didn't stop the hedgy tanned man from having his hopes up every time he did.

But even during these respites, Iruka somehow couldn't bring himself to relax – he felt tense and restless, his head filled with so many questions that it hurt. _Who_ was stalking him? Was it an enemy? An ally? A vengencefull coworker? A pervert? Or someone else? That brought up the next question: of all people, why _him_? He was an average chuunin and hardly did anything interesting. He did not have access to any secret building or information that an enemy could seek for and he did not represent a threat to anyone, or at least as far as he knew. He really couldn't figure out why someone would bother following _him_.

But the question that unnerved him the most was _when did it start?_ Because he could have been stalked for weeks before he became aware of it – and that possibility totally freaked him out. Knowing someone, somewhere, had been watching him when he was not aware of it was highly distressing for the prude teacher.

Under such circumstances, the last week had been a real nightmare and the chuunin was looking forward to an occasion that wouldn't raise anyone's suspicion to talk to the Godaime about his stalker - he wished he could have informed her sooner, but it had proved impossible since she had just returned from a diplomatic journey in the morning. Even though his follower had been quiet for the past days, the Hokage still had to be informed of this as soon as possible. If it was the work of an enemy, then it could be a serious matter and she had to be the first person informed. But even though he told himself that, he couldn't truly believe in this probability because he didn't have any information that could interest anyone – especially not another country! That brought up the same question again: _Why him_?

As if it wasn't enough, the brown-haired man also had other matters on his mind. After he had – _that_ \- troubling dream two weeks ago, he had asked in a moment of pure insanity his feminine co-workers to help him getting a girlfriend. Since that very moment of total thoughtlessness, the chuunin had been bitterly wondering what had passed through his mind back then. Why, oh WHY did asking a bunch of single, bored and desperately sexually and romantically frustrated women to find him a date sound like such a good idea back then? But unfortunately, the naïve Umino Iruka only realized how ridiculously stupid and potentially dangerous such an idea was after the words were out of his mouth, when his coworkers' eyes started _gleaming_. The chuunin still shuddered at the remembrance of the scary, calculative look in their eyes. That day, the academy teacher learned the hard way that there was nothing scarier than a bunch of single women in their thirties in a full matchmaker mood.

As it was to be expected, his female coworkers instantly went ballistic and stated working on the "get Iruka a girlfriend" project with the efficiency and the seriousness of an ANBU team tracking down a prey. They made a list of Iruka's qualities and abilities and started spreading the word through Konoha that the chuunin was a good match. Iruka never thought that gossip could spread so fast; only a few hours later, kunoichi and civilian women were whispering to one another and turning their heads to look at him when he walked down Konoha's streets, eying him as if he was a new piece of meat on sale at the local supermarket. Ever since then, the chuunin hadn't been able to go anywhere without feeling the judging eyes of young women upon him and hearing their speculative whispers on his way, the sheer quantity of attention he was receiving making him feel utterly uneasy and nervous. But unfortunately, it didn't stop there; soon enough, mothers started bringing their marriageable daughters to the academy and kunoichi started lining up to give their reports to him at the mission room – which not only embarrassed him to no end (Genma made sure of it), but also gave him a lot more work.

What had the academy teachers said to create such a craze? That he was a _saint_ or what? Iruka knew that normal men would probably sell their mother to have his luck, but he wished nothing more than being able to hide and wait for his life to go back to normal. What did they all have to be interested in him so suddenly? He was nothing special for God's sake! All that attention was staring to make him sick...

Then, as if his life was not pathetic enough, his coworkers started organizing him blind dates. If Iruka had thought the whole gossiping problem was horrible, it was because didn't know anything about blind dates. After a few minutes spent with his first date, Iruka painfully remembered why he had never had a girlfriend before – dating was _not_ his thing. It felt wrong, it felt forced, and he didn't like it one bit. How was he supposed to 'find love' when he wasn't even feeling comfortable around those girls anyway? So far he's met with two civilian girls and three kunoichi, each date being worse than the other one. Somehow he kept on fidgeting and stuttering, intimidated by the whole process. After a while, the chuunin developed a strategy to make those dates more enjoyable; he stayed silent, listened to his dates politely, paid for the meal and accompanied them home, a painful smile on the whole time.

Well, the dates weren't more enjoyable that way, but they went faster that way.

But what distressed him the most about it was that he somehow really wasn't able to feel interested in those girls at all, yet they were extremely charming and cute women. Maybe it was the whole dating process that turned him off. Or maybe he wasn't on his right mind – at least that was what Genma kept on telling him.

It didn't help much that Iruka knew perfectly well that all those cute girls only thought of him as a good choice for marriage – they had no interest in his personality, opinion, tastes or whatsoever. People often thought of him as a naive man, but he wasn't as clueless as he let on. It was obvious that none of them looked for love, or even sex; they were only looking for a safe man who would be there for them when they came back home from a hard day of work. Or who would take care of the kids if something happened to them on a mission – Iruka was very good with children and it was obvious everybody thought he's make a wonderful father. Which was probably true, the chuunin had to admit reticently, but it didn't mean he automatically wanted to marry and have children with the first girl he'd go out with.

Iruka sighed again at the thought and uselessly tried to focus his mind again on washing the dishes. As he was trying to convince himself that he was not fretting again about his stressful week, the brown-haired man felt the now familiar presence of his spy outside the house, those eyes he had learned to hate staring at the back of his neck. The chuunin inwardly groaned; it'd been utopian to think that he might never come back... Yet, he couldn't help but feeling disappointed to know the mysterious stalker was back already. Sighing, he forced himself once again to act normally, trying to forget about the heavy gaze he could feel on his body. He mildly wondered why he still hadn't gotten used to the feeling of being watched, with all those people staring at him constantly. Women, spies, students... Some part of him wondered what they saw when they looked at him like that. Whatever it was, it seemed to be pretty interesting... He wished he knew what to do to look boring and make the stares go away already.

As Iruka was about to finish washing his dishes, someone knocked loudly on his front door. Recognizing at once the chakra signature of his visitor, Iruka smiled warmly and went to open the door to a very happy-looking blond teenager.

"Oi, Iruka-sensei!"

"Hey Naruto! Already back from your mission?"

"Of course! I don't understand why we still have to deliver stuff, those boring missions shouldn't be given to talented ninjas like me," Naruto complained loudly before brightening up. "Ne, Iruka-sensei, will you treat me to ramen? I haven't had any in two whole days!"

"Only two days? Sure enough you can wait a bit more," the chuunin teased him with a playful smile.

"No way!" the young man made a face that obviously proved that such a thing was absolutely unthinkable. "Iruka-sensei, pleaaaaase!"

Iruka laughed softly, his eyes and heart warming up at the sight of the blond ball of energy and his childish manners. It was a mystery how Naruto always succeeded to make him forget about his issues and cheer him up.

"Fine then, let's go," Iruka said as he picked his keys and locked the door behind him, leaving the remaining dirty dishes soaking in the sink – he decided they could wait for a while. At once, Naruto beamed at him, a broad smile forming itself on his still slightly boyish face.

"Really? You're the best, Iruka-sensei!" he replied happily, hugging his ex-teacher in a very childish way that clashed with his manly appearance and the chuunin gasped for air, his rib bones being crushed by the young man's powerful arms. He had to tell the teen to stop doing that...

So both men headed to the Ichiraku ramen bar, joking and laughing lightly together on their way. At some point, Iruka became aware that his stalker was missing again and inwardly frowned. That was not like him; he usually followed them to the ramen bar as well... But he didn't give it much thought as Naruto started teasing him about his new found popularity with women and soon enough, the chuunin found himself protesting fervently against his ex-student's assumptions about his sex-life instead of dwelling over the unusual absence of the spy.

As he was lecturing his ex-pupil about respect of people's privacy, Iruka became aware that the mysterious nin hadn't gone very far away, because he got the feeling he was getting closer and closer to him with every step he took, much to his annoyance. When they entered the noodle bar, the brown-haired man's heart tightened as he felt the mysterious man's presence get aggressively close to him, as if his stalker was just beside them. Iruka stood frozen at the noodle bar's entrance, gaping breathlessly. He couldn't believe it - He was _there_! He was inside the Ichiraku ramen stand!

The thought of unmasking by himself his stalker had never crossed the careful chuunin's mind before, but now that he could get clues on the man's identity, he was feeling anticipation rushing through his veins, his heart beating faster at the thought of finally answering one of those questions that had been plaguing his restless mind for countless days. Here was his chance to finally discover _who_...

When he wouldn't follow him, Naruto looked back at his ex-teacher curiously and the brown-haired man shook himself, quickly joining the blonde and taking his usual seat at the bar. If he wanted to find out anything, he would need to be very careful not to let anything show – hell, his blatant gaping may have already given him away. But luckily enough, the spy didn't seem to have noticed anything, as he was still somewhere out there in the small restaurant - Iruka could clearly feel it. As they both ordered their ramen, Iruka subtly eyed the few people inside the restaurant, recording all the faces he saw.

Of course, there was the chief and his niece, working as a waitress part time. Except for them, there was four other customers; two male chuunin chatting together at the end of the bar, an old man reading a journal and a raven-haired young women looking depressed in a distant corner. Which made six suspects – if you counted out Naruto, because Naruto couldn't possibly -

"Hi Naruto, Iruka-sensei" came a lazy voice from their left, making Iruka jump. He had been so deeply absorbed by his thoughts that he hadn't even sensed the silver-haired jounin, who was sitting just beside Naruto, to his utter amazement.

"You sure eat a lot of ramen these days, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said playfully, bending toward his sensei with a sly look on his face. "You wouldn't have the hots for the waitress, wouldn't you?" The jounin blinked, obviously surprised by his student's unusual conclusion, while Iruka flushed with embarrassment and indignation.

"Naruto!" the chuunin choked, punching the blonde's head.

"Ow!" The teenager whined. "What was that for?"

"What did I say about respecting people's private life again?"

"Got it, got it! Geez, you didn't need to hit so hard."

Just then, Iruka and Naruto's orders arrived; Naruto's attention instantaneously went to his steaming bowl of noodle and he forgot altogether about teasing the jounin, much to the academy teacher's relief. The brown-haired man didn't want Naruto to bug his teacher about his love life, especially since the guy seemed to be rather shy, or at the very least highly secretive about those kind of things.

Iruka then started eating his warm ramen slowly, listening absent-mindedly to Naruto's rant about his previous mission while he spied quietly on the other customers. He heard his ex-pupil babble something about Sakura being unfair to him, Kakashi getting them thrown out of a place because he kept on reading porn and, he didn't know why, cool flying squirrels. Somehow Naruto's rants about his missions were more realist than before, but his enthusiasm was the same as in his pre-genin days when he talked about his performances. That thought made Iruka smile fondly as he watched closely one of the two chuunins, trying to engrave the memory of his rather common face into his head. Iruka noticed that the blond teen talked a lot more about his teammates than before too, which made him feel very proud – he was happy Naruto had finally managed to get friends of his age. After all, a young man such as himself shouldn't hang out all the time with a boring 26 year old... That was not healthy.

After Naruto finished his bowl, he went to the washroom and Iruka was left alone at the bar with the Copy nin, who obviously had long finished eating his own meal but seemed to want to liger around some more, for some unexplainable reason. They remained silent and, after a moment, Iruka looked up to find out that the jounin was eyeing him expectantly, as if he wanted to tell him something.

"Is there something wrong, Kakashi-san?" the chuunin asked politely but cautiously to his neighbor, remembering the last strange discussion he had had with the elite jounin only too well.

The silver-haired man did not answer at once, his unmasked eye gazing at the puzzled chuunin in an unreadable way. He seemed thoughtful, but also a bit hesitant, somehow. It must have been his imagination, Iruka mused. No way in hell he would make I'm-cooler-than-thou Hatake Kakashi uneasy or uncomfortable, he was probably just misreading the man's physical language. So he waited for the jounin to speak up, wondering what he could possibly want with him.

"...The weather was cold today, don't you think?" Kakashi finally spoke up and Iruka stared blankly at him, dumbfounded. He waited for more to come, but the jounin didn't add anything and just stared back at the chuunin, confusing him even more. So that's it? _That_ was what he had wanted to tell him? That the weather was _cold?_ This man truly didn't make sense at all. To think he found _him_ strange…

"...Yes, it was," Iruka answered slowly, his mouth curving up into a perplexed smile.

"They say it's going to get warmer tomorrow..." the man added. "You know, on television."

Iruka was about to show polite interest when a masked nin suddenly appeared in the ramen shop in a puff of smoke, surprising everyone in the small establishment. The newcomer, dressed up all in black, did not even give a glance to the rest of the room and went straight for the Copy Nin, never leaving the jounin of sight.

"Kakashi-sama, the Hokage requests your presence at once," the ninja said on a low, quiet voice before disappearing into yet another cloud of smoke, leaving the whole room gaping at the place where the mysterious man had been moments ago. The Sharigan user sighed, left money on the bar to pay his meal and headed lazily toward the exit of the restaurant, seven pairs of eyes following every movement of his with a mix of curiosity and amazement. Just before leaving the ramen bar, Kakashi turned around and his eyes went to the chuunin still seated at the bar.

"...See you around, Iruka-sensei," he greeted the man before vanishing in a puff of smoke as well, leaving a very dumbfounded Iruka behind.

Iruka stared at the place Kakashi had been moments ago for a while, stunned. He knew that this hasted departure shouldn't surprise him – Kakashi was an important ninja after all - but it was still unusual to see someone being summoned like that by the Godaime... There was that, and that strange discussion. Not that talking of the weather with the elite jounin was bizarre, but the whole ambiance had been kind of... _off_. Iruka inwardly snorted at the thought; only Hatake Kakashi could make a weather discussion sound wrong. Did that man ever do something normally anyway?

The brown-haired chuunin pulled himself together and went back to spying his possible stalkers – but then, he realized with a jolt that he couldn't feel the mysterious ninja's chakra signature anymore. Adrenalin rushing through his veins at the thought of discovering at last who had been who had been stalking him for so long, the chuunin swiftly scanned the area, looking for a missing customer; the spy must have left recently, it was the only way to explain his absence. The prospect of unmasking his stalker and putting an end to his activities was making him feel both excited and nervous, his heart pounding madly in his ribcage as his eyes darted from one customer to another with anticipation. But to his utter astonishment, none of the customer in the ramen stand had left. Incredulous, Iruka double-checked everyone, but they were still all there, eating and talking quietly as if nothing was wrong.

The chuunin stared, feeling suddenly a bit deflated. That didn't make sense; he was SURE the stalker had been there moments ago! He _**must**_ have left, but all the customers were still there, except for Kakashi-san and Naruto!

Wait a minute... That's right, _someone_ had left: Hatake Kakashi! But... Kakashi-sensei, the stalker? No, that couldn't be. Even though the man was a bit odd at times, he was still a respectable jounin who certainly had enough common sense to do something more constructive of his spare time than stalk a random chuunin like him.

But the more the brown-haired man thought about it, the more it made sense: Team seven had left two days ago for a mission and the stalker had stopped watching him two days ago… And he came back around the same time as Team seven returned to konoha. Talk about a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember feeling his stalker's eyes on him when Kakashi's team was out of town for a mission too... Everything fit together! The person who's been spying on him for more and three weeks was Hatake Kakashi! THE one and only elite jounin Hatake Kakashi!

That conclusion made Iruka feel a bit sick at first. He couldn't believe it: why would an elite ninja such as him spy on a mere chuunin teacher? That didn't even make sense. But nor did Kakashi either, Iruka remembered bitterly. It was common knowledge that the jounin was an eccentric man; maybe he did it only to distract himself? Maybe he thought it was fun? Maybe this was just a _game_ to him?

The chuunin felt anger flare inside of him at that thought, his rage mixed with an odd feeling of helplessness. Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei, following him on his way to the Academy… Kakashi-sensei, spying on his as he corrected his students' homework…

Kakashi-sensei, checking him out as he showered.

No, that was too much. That was _way_ beyond eccentricity. That was plain unthinkable. What kind of twisted mind would go through the length of stalking a perfectly ordinary chuunin for weeks just for the thrill of it? What kind of _sick_ , _twisted_ mind would violate the privacy of a nearly complete stranger a hobby? Torn between amazement, anger and disgust, the brown-haired man didn't even notice that Naruto had come back from the bathroom and was staring at him with mild worry.

"What's the matter Iruka-sensei? You don't look like yourself," Naruto asked cautiously, waking his ex-teacher from his dark thoughts with a start. At once, the chuunin pulled himself together.

"Nothing's wrong, I was just spacing out," Iruka answered with a small laugh that, he hoped, didn't sound too fake. He didn't want the blond-haired teen to worry about him. Anyway, it was not like he could tell anything to Naruto anyway. How would he explain him the situation: 'Hey Naruto, I just discovered your freak teacher has been stalking me for three weeks, don't worry everything's fine'?

Naruto stared at him suspiciously for a moment, then shrugged it off and started to complain to the brown-haired chuunin about the fact that he always had to sleep in the same bed as Sasuke when they had to stay out of Konoha for the night. Iruka listened to his ex-student's new rant about why Sasuke was the worst roommate ever, his features relaxed but his mind firmly set.

Sure enough, he would soon pay a visit to the Hokage. Very soon.


	3. The Cat Gets Out

The night was cold and merciless, a bone-chilling wind blowing on the Konohagure village. Between veils of clouds could be seen the shape of the moon, distant and fuzzy in the darkness, barely lighting the path of the daring men roaming down the deserted streets of the sleeping village. But Kakashi was far too tired to look up at the sky. Hell, it was almost a miracle he was still able to stand up and walk, as slowly as it might be, toward his apartment - he was totally drained and only the thought of his dry and warm bed kept his exhausted and sore body moving. Long assassination missions could do that to a man.

The wind was blowing hard on his soaked and blood-stained clothes, making him shiver as he walked down Konoha's streets. How many days has it been since he left the village for that mission? Four? Five days? More? He couldn't even tell. And yet, being back home didn't comfort him at all. There was nobody truly waiting for him here and nothing holding him back to this village – except maybe his strong sense of duty and his loyalty. There were his students of course, but the whole place felt oddly cold to him nonetheless. When had he started to feel he did not belong to this place anymore? When had he stopped calling Konoha home? He preferred not thinking about it...

After too many painful steps, Kakashi finally reached his apartment and disarmed his traps wearily, some part of his mind wondering why he even bothered to set the bloody traps before he left – it was not like there was anything he truly cared about in there either. This empty apartment didn't feel more like home than this village did, he realized gloomily as he closed the door behind him and activated his traps again. But at least here, he was safe from the kunais and the harshness of the icy fall wind... And somehow, that was all he cared about at the moment.

Sighing tiredly, the jounin went through his bachelor apartment like a zombie, not even caring to turn on the lights, his numb members protesting with every step he took as he headed for the bathroom. His aching muscles longed for his bed, but the jounin purposefully ignoring them, knowing from experience it wasn't such a good idea to go to bed after an assassination mission without getting some clean up done first. It made waking up a very unpleasant mess.

The ex-anbu stripped down slowly, scattering carelessly his drenched and strained clothes on the cold bathroom floor, and went into his shamefully small shower. The Sharigan user then mechanically turned the water on and a jet of cold water poured down on him, making his already frozen skin burn unpleasantly.

Gradually, Kakashi felt his cold and sore muscles prickle painfully at the contact of the warming up water and leaned heavily against the shower's wall, letting his thoughts drift away. He thought tiredly about team 7 he would have to teach and supervise the following morning. He thought about the Godaime and the next mission that would be assigned to him far too soon. And he thought about that strange chuunin, Umino Iruka. At the thought of the brown-haired man, the jounin sighed heavily, feeling even more depressed than before. How was he supposed to get to know the man if he kept messing up every time he tried to talk to him? Because there was no doubts about it, he had messed up his last discussion with the academy teacher – even to him, it had sounded just wrong. How had he managed to ruin a discussion about the weather anyway? After that, the chuunin probably thought he was some kind of delusional weirdo… Or worse. Not that Kakashi held it against him; the poor man was probably right about it too. Those thoughts somehow made the silver-haired man feel even more miserable than he already was. At this rate, he would never find out what was bugging him about Umino Iruka...

Once his numb members started to feel warm once again and stopped prickling, Kakashi absent-mindedly started to clean himself. He mechanically looked for injuries as he cleansed himself, but luckily found none – except for a couple of scratches, but those didn't count as injuries. Once he was done removing all the mud and the dried blood from his hair, he turned the shower off and briefly dried himself with the nearest towel. Not even caring to put something on, the exhausted jounin went straight to his bed and collapsed on it. He buried himself under layers of warm blankets and a blissful, dreamless sleep stole over him in seconds.

Sun was long high in the sky when Hatake Kakashi woke up, as he could feel the heat of sunlight pouring annoyingly on his face. Even with his eyelashes closed, the sun was blinding him. How annoying. He tried to move away from the cruel light, but somehow his muscles wouldn't move. He tried to move again, but his whole body protested against it, pain quickly spreading through his weary muscles and the jounin winced at the sudden ache invading his senses. His whole body felt sore and weary, and more than it had in quite a while. And now that he thought about it, his throat was raw and felt way too tight too. And that, he knew it only too well, was never a good thing.

The silver-haired ninja sighed and buried himself again in his sunbathed blankets, trying to go back to sleep - he didn't want to face the horrible state he would be in when he truly woke up. Not yet.

As the Copy nin was slowly drifting back to sleep, somebody loudly knocked on the door, waking him with a start. When Kakashi realized what had woken him, he relaxed and lowered the kunai he had grabbed from under his pillow out of reflex, his head falling back to his pillow heavily. Grunting with annoyance at being woken up, Kakashi ignored the visitor pounding on his door, only wanting to go back to sleep. Hopefully, the visitor would get the hint and leave the damn door alone...

But he soon found out that his visitor wouldn't leave the damn door alone as more knocking could be heard coming from the entrance and the jounin growled with annoyance. Couldn't they get the hint and let him sleep already? Who the hell could want to see him so much so early in the morning anyway? Kakashi painfully forced one of his eyes open and looked at the clock on his nigh table.

Okay, in the afternoon.

Since the knocking still wouldn't stop, the ninja slowly and difficultly sat up in his bed and did a quick mental check. Aching muscles. Heavy head. Slow mental process. Raw throat. Damn…That was just his luck, really. In his misfortune, it seemed like he had managed to get himself a cold during his mission.

The persistent visitor knocked yet louder and the Sharigan user almost winced at the sound, his head pounding painfully. Ignoring his protesting muscles and pounding head, Kakashi got up and grumpily walked toward the entrance to stop the way too loud knocking and give a piece of his mind to whoever had dared to force him out of his warm and comfortable bed. Midway to the door, his foggy mind reminded him that he was still as naked as the day he was born and the jounin groaned, lazily going back to his bedroom to grab something to put on. He took the closest blanket, put it around his shoulders and resumed heading to the door slowly. But on second thought, he walked back to his dresser and dig out of it a stingy and atrociously flashy acid-green scarf Maito Gai had given him years ago for Christmas – the Sharigan user suspected the Green beast had knitted it himself – and wrapped it lazily around his maskless face. Exhausted or not, he still had his pride.

The guy behind the door seemed to be getting a bit impatient. Well, that angry yell couldn't have been a girl's, now couldn't it? He wondered why a man would want to see him so badly... Some logical part of his foggy mind reminded him that no girl would want to see him as well, so the sex of his visitor didn't change a thing in the end. But still. It almost made sense at the moment.

Reluctantly, Kakashi made his way again to the front door, where the yells were getting more and more aggressive. He was started to feel pissed with whoever had come to see him; couldn't they just get the clue and leave him alone or did they think smashing down his front door was the best way to have him inviting them over for a cup of tea? Hoping it was at least some kind of important, the jounin opened the door and blinked at the sunlight, momentarily dazzled. In front of him stood two very serious looking jounin – even though they momentarily seemed quite taken aback to find him in such a state. Kakashi guessed he probably wasn't a beautiful sight. Or maybe it was because you didn't run often into a half-naked grown-up wrapped in a blanket and an acid-green scarf at 2:38 in the afternoon.

"Are you Hatake Kakashi?" one of the two men asked him on an authoritarian tone. The jounin stared back at him coolly, making it quite obvious that he was not impressed by the man's forceful tone and that they were _not_ welcome. The two nins looked at each other, then one of them took out of his pocket a scroll and flashed it at Kakashi.

"The Hokage requests your presence at once for you to explain yourself," the man holding the scroll said on a slightly condescending voice. Kakashi blinked at them, surprised. To explain himself? Explain what? She couldn't possibly be angry because he didn't give her his mission report as soon as he came back to town? Even _she_ wasn't that sadistic.

"…Sure. Tell her that I'm coming in half an hour," Kakashi said lazily as he closed the door, but the other jounin stopped him midway and pulled the door back open.

"It seems that you misunderstood us, Hatake-sama," he warned the Sharigan user boldly, obviously getting impatient. "The Hokage asked us to _bring_ you to her. You have to come with us. Obey and follow us and things will go smoothly."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow defiantly at the younger man. "And what do you think you'll do if I refuse to obey, hm?"

Kakashi was aware of his reputation, so were the two men; they stepped back nervously, their faces suddenly crisped with anxiety. It amused the silver-haired man - that'd teach those arrogant jerks to show _respect_. The Copy nin knew far too well that he probably wouldn't have been able to put up much of a fight in his pitiful state, but they didn't know it and it felt good to put those brazen youngsters in their places. After a few seconds of tense silence, Kakashi decided he had scared the wary jounins enough for the time being and spoke up nonchalantly.

"Just let me put something on."

The Sharigan user closed the door to two stunned ninja and slowly went back to his bedroom, looking through his dresser to find some clean clothes to put on. Unfortunately, it seemed that luck wasn't on his side; he had no clean sweaters left. Sighing, the jounin dug in the dirty clothes tub to get a sweater that hopefully wasn't too dirty. He pulled out one, sniffed it and judging it still acceptable to wear, put it on. As he was slowly getting dressed, he suddenly felt a bit nauseous, his head getting heavier with each second that passed by. The jounin couldn't remember the last time he had felt so sick - he usually didn't catch colds to start with. The Hokage sure chose well her day to be angry at him, he mused darkly. It promised to be another wonderful day...

Once he was fully dressed, Kakashi returned to the entrance and left the house with the two jounins – who seemed still a bit unsettled and kept on giving him nervous sidelong glances. Not that Kakashi minded. He tended to do that to people. It was some kind of annoying and fun at the same time.

After a few minutes of unbearable silence - for the two younger jounins of course - they finally reached the Hokage's office, where the Godaime was surprisingly enough already waiting for him. There she was, sitting behind her huge desk and staring at him from behind her hands with an unreadable face, her disturbingly piercing eyes firmly set on him as if she was trying to see through him. At her right stood her right-hand and assistant, Shizune, a mildly upset expression on her young face as she stared at him. Kakashi heard the office's doors close behind him and the heavy silence that followed made him feel both uneasy and wary. The abnormal seriousness of the whole situation and the unbearable tension that seemed to fill in the air in the Hokage's office stroke to him as incredibly odd - obviously, he must have done something pretty horrible to deserve such a welcome committee. Yet for the life of him, he could not thing of one single thing he had done recently that could possibly explain his current predicament. What the heck was that about? What had he done to piss her off her so much? Whatever it was, it seemed he was in big trouble this time... The Copy nin waited silently for the Hokage to speak up, feeling probably calmer than he should have been. After what seemed to be an eternity, the blond woman spoke up at last.

"I dare say you know why you are here today," she told him very seriously, her big hazel eyes scrutinizing him.

"No, I'm afraid I don't," answered Kakashi in his usual unaffected tone.

"Is that so?" the Godaime snorted in a strangely disappointed way. Then she got up and turned her back on him, staring at Konoha's village through the huge window. She stayed silent for a while as she silently contemplated something, which only made the jounin feel warier - he had never seen the Hokage act that way, and he didn't know what to make of it.

After a few minutes, she spoke up quietly to the window, "A strange behavior of yours has been reported to me, Hatake."

Kakashi's eyebrows rose. "Only one?" he asked in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood.

Tsunade remained silent, gazing at her village with a strangely expressionless face. So it didn't lighten the mood... Damn. Whatever that meeting was about, Kakashi realized, it _really_ wasn't looking good for him. And he didn't like it one bit. He would have honestly preferred facing Ibiki down in the interrogation room to this: at least, he knew what to expect out of the torture master. This, whatever it was about, was starting to scare the shit out of him.

Suddenly, Godaime turned around and stared at him sharply.

"Iruka told me."

Kakashi blinked blankly at his superior, puzzlement showing on his mostly masked face. Heh? _Umino Iruka?_ What did the brown-haired chuunin have to do with this?

Seeing the elite jounin's confusion, she added coldly, "He told me about that latest little sneaky _hobby_ of yours."

...Sneaky hobby? The jounin stared at her with utter confusion, feeling at a loss about what was going on. _What_ sneaky hobby? And why did Iruka – But right then, his brain finally added two and two and his eyes widened as the realization fell on him. _Oh!_ She was talking about _that_! The silver-haired man inwardly sighed with relief as he finally understood what the whole meeting was about.

"Is that so? I had no idea he knew about it. I thought I made sure he couldn't sense me..." The Copy nin explained calmly, his hands stuffed in his pockets nonchalantly.

"So you DO admit you spied on Umino Iruka," the Hokage growled, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Yes," the jounin answered frankly, not really understanding why she was making such a deal about it. Of course, Kakashi understood that she could be annoyed at him since he had done it on his own authority and had wasted precious time he could have spent on duty instead of spying over the chuunin. Annoyed, surely enough, but not downright _pissed_ like that. Somehow, he felt like he was missing something important...

"Tell me, how long have you had this _hobby_ Kakashi, hm?" she asked hotly and the jounin felt increasingly wary. Obviously, he was missing something out again…

"Hm... I don't know... A few months, I guess?"

This answer further irritated the Godaime, who had to fight back a growl. She knew that Kakashi tended to have weird conceptions about those kind of things, so she didn't know how to take care of that issue at all. That man sure was one of the best elite jounin she had, but he was damn hard to deal with at times – especially in moments like those. With a sigh, she let herself fall in her big cushion armchair and started massaging her temple, annoyed at the silver-haired man standing in front of her. "How can you say that so casually? Dammit, do you even _realize_ how wrong it is to stalk a coworker, Kakashi?"

The jounin frowned. Stalking? Since when has it been question of stalking? "But I wasn't _stalking_ him," he protested, mildly insulted.

"Really? Then what do you think you were doing?"

"I..." Kakashi didn't know how to put in words what he meant to say. "... was trying to learn more about him."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at him, looking skeptical. "Don't you think you could have asked him _questions_ , like normal people do?"

"What I wanted to learn was not something that could be asked..." When the woman only gave him a dubious stare as an answer, Kakashi bit his bottom lip behind his mask with hesitation. Damn, he had wanted to avoid having his mental health under check, but he could be damned if he was able to lie his way out of this one. It seemed like he would need to explain himself to set things straight this time. Making up his mind, the jounin spoke up again. "May I speak freely, Hokage-sama?"

This serious request seemed to mildly puzzle Tsunade, who raised her eyebrows at him. "Yes, please do so."

To the Hokage's surprise, the silver-haired jounin then started to talk with this neutral, business-like voice of his, the voice the Copy nin used only to report back important missions and to give orders to his subordinates back when he was still an ANBU member.

"I am under the impression that there is something wrong with Umino Iruka's character. I know that I have no proof of what I am saying, but my instinct is telling me that there is something weird about him, something unclean. I don't know what exactly is wrong with him, so I followed him around in order to discover whether or not he was a potential treat for the village."

Both Tsunade and Shizune blinked at him several times, taken aback by this sudden "revelation". As the jounin's words sank in, the Hokage had to repress a frown; this situation was ridiculously ironic. Umino Iruka, weird? He was probably the sanest and the most normal shinobi in the whole damn village. How could Kakashi – Kakashi, of all people – consider Iruka's behavior strange? If she wouldn't have known Kakashi better, she would have thought he was trying to come up with a bad story to explain his perverted habits. But she knew perfectly well that Kakashi was a total emotional and social wreck. God only knew what seemed normal to _him_! At that thought, she sighed again. What a mess…

"Do tell me what exactly makes you think that your 'instinct' is warning you against Iruka?" she asked tiredly, massaging her eyes.

"Well, I... there's something off about him. Whenever he's around, I feel somewhat strange and somehow he's always on my mind. I really can't get rid of him, I'm always thinking about him. That's definitely not normal. Nobody _ever_ made me feel that way before!" the jounin said fiercely, as if daring them to contradict him.

The two women gaped at him for a few seconds, looking positively stunned by the jounin's words. Then, the Godaime's blank face cracked into a small, wavering smile and she started to chuckle. Her chuckles soon turned into howls of sardonic laughter, her shoulders shaking violently as she repeatedly knocked her powerful fist against her desk. Kakashi stared at her, dumbfounded. What was so funny? He was serious about this!

When the blonde finally calmed down and let out her last chuckle, she wiped her eyes and gave the silver-haired jounin an unreadable look.

"You don't have to worry, Kakashi. Iruka-sensei is perfectly normal, if not a bit too much for his own good. I can assure you that he's one of the most loyal and honest shinobis of Konoha. This... "weird" feeling you have in his presence is by no means some kind of instinct warning you about him. You just, hum... let's say misunderstood your feelings, that's all," the Hokage answered casually, her eyes gleaming with amusement.

"But I insist, Hokage–sama -"

"Enough nonsense, Hatake," she cut him sternly, all amusement vanished from her young features. "Do you think that if Iruka would have been a threat you would have been the only one to notice it? We have special teams which only purpose is to detect those kind of abnormalities and I can assure you that they are _extremely_ effective. If Iruka's behavior would be even only slightly doubtful, he wouldn't be in charge of children in the first place. You should be ashamed to put so little trust into Konoha's shinobis," Tsunade answered sharply, before adding, "Moreover, if someone knows how normal Iruka truly is in his everyday life, it's got to be you. I dare say that stalking him for months taught you so much."

At these words, the jounin's shoulders fell and he stayed silent, his eye staring shamefully at the ground. Of course, she was right about it: Umino Iruka was the probably the most normal and boring person Kakashi had met with in his entire life. He had realized so much after only the first few weeks of stalking. Yet he couldn't help but thinking, like he had thought back then, that there was still something fishy about the chuunin, something amiss. But what if he was wrong about that too? What if he had just misunderstood his feelings, like the blond-haired woman just told him, and that the problem was not Iruka, but _him_ …? But what was that supposed to mean exactly? Somehow, that explanation didn't make much sense to the tired and aching nin. Had she meant his instinct had lured him on a false trail? Was he loosing his touch?

The Hokage stared at him silently for a while, before speaking up again with an authoritarian tone. "I hope you realize the consequences of your thoughtless and egoistic little _mission_ : an elite jounin such as yourself should be ashamed to break into the intimacy of your peers like that over such a trivial issue. Do you have any idea how Umino Iruka must be feeling after being stalked by a stranger for months? Don't you think he already has enough to cope with all these children he must watch over without having somebody stalking him on top of it?" she paused to let her words sink, hoping to get the message through. When the jounin's head lowered shamefully, she was satisfied and spoke up again on the same stern voice.

"Listen to me now, Hatake. Such a behavior won't be tolerated anymore. Since I know that you didn't intend to harm anyone at all, I will be clement for now. But if I ever hear you're 'trying to learn more' about Iruka again, I won't go so easy on you and that's a promise. _Got it_?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi muttered quietly, "It won't happen anymore."

"I hope so for you." Tsunade growled. "You are dismissed."

The silver-haired jounin turned around and left the office, seeming a bit lost in the way he walked away. As soon as the door closed behind him, the Godaime's serious expression and shifted into a sorry smile. She let out a small tired laugh and sighed.

"Guess this is what happens to people who are turned into weapons too young..." she said softly to her assistant. Shizune, who had stayed silent during the whole conversation, walked toward the older women, a slightly worried expression on her young face.

"What do you plan to do?"

"Oh, nothing for now," Tsunade answered lightly, "I think it'd be better to let him find it out for himself. He ought to get it one day or the other." She was silent again, staring at the door the man had just passed through. Very quietly, she added "...I just hope he won't get hurt in the process..."

After his meeting with the Godaime was over, Kakashi painfully dragged himself home. He felt utterly uneasy for some reason. His emotions were so mixed together that he couldn't tell what was making his heart ache in such an uncommon way. Shame? Guilt? Disappointment? Or was it something else? Whatever it was, it was making him feel confused and miserable. And as if that wasn't enough, his aching muscles and his cold symptoms had returned full force. He felt like hell, and it must have showed because people stared at him more than they normally did. Usually, he wouldn't have minded the attention, but in his current state he somehow couldn't stand having those judging eyes on him. He wanted to be left alone for a while.

To avoid bringing more attention to himself, the silver-haired man left the main road and decided to use the village's narrow and sinuous alleys to walk home, even if it would take him a little longer to arrive to his apartment. At this hour of the day, those streets were always empty and a bit gloomy, fitting perfectly with his present mood, he thought ironically, and his chances of running into someone he knew were very slim. Not that many people had ever gone out of their way to talk to him anyway…

As he strolled down Konoha's deserted little streets miserably, he heard somebody walking toward him. He looked up just in time to see Umino Iruka walking out of another alley into his and his heart clenched painfully at the sudden sight. When the younger man saw him, he froze, his tired expression turning sour at once as he gave him a dark, resentful look. The Hokage's words came back to the silver-haired man as he saw the bitterness, the humiliation and the resentment the man's usually warm and cheerful eyes withheld at his sight and the Sharigan user suddenly understood why the old woman had summoned him to her office in the first place. He had never intended to, but somehow while trying to figure out what was wrong with the man, he had managed to deeply hurt the good-hearted chuunin's feelings. But before the jounin could even think of something to say, the brown-haired man had pulled himself together and hurried past the him, ignoring the silver-haired man's presence as he walked away. Kakashi stared at the man's retreating back, his uneasiness and guilt making him feel a bit nauseous. Some irrational part of him wanted to call the chuunin back to explain himself, to tell him he had never intended, never wanted to hurt him, but he didn't know what to say at all. So he stayed helplessly silent as he watched the brown-haired man disappear into another dark alley, leaving him alone with his guilt and confusion.

Somehow, the Sharigan user managed to drag himself home, his chest and his throat painfully tight. He hadn't felt this troubled in years, he mentally observed as he entered his small bathroom to get some painkillers for his throbbing head and muscles. The first thing he saw were his still soaked, bloody and already mold-smelling clothes forgotten on the floor. He groaned at the sight, cursing himself for forgetting them there. And as if his day had not been bad enough like that, he had no painkillers left in his medicine chest. He sighed at his empty painkiller bottle and promised himself to get some first thing in the morning tomorrow. Then Kakashi sneezed and looked at his bed longingly. He remembered he had to write his mission report and train Team 7 today before he could tuck in. Which meant moving. And wasted energy. Not that he had much to spare anyway...

He hesitated a few seconds before giving up on his responsibilities for the time being. He felt like hell and nothing good would come from him in his current state. He knew he would have to face the consequences tomorrow – Team 7 and Tsunade would have his head for sure – but he didn't mind it much at the moment. And he would have to face Iruka one day or another too... That was another story, though. Without even changing, he buried himself once again under his bed's blankets and waited for sleep to overtake him.

The physical pain was annoying, but he was used to it. At the moment, Kakashi only wished his uneasiness would go away. Somehow he couldn't get out of his mind Iruka's resentful eyes, the image of the man's hurt expression burned into his mind making his chest ache in a bizarre way. And the whole meeting he just had with the Hokage kept on coming thick and fast to his memory, which didn't help at all.

The thing that was upsetting him the most was the fact that he was wrong about the whole thing. He trusted Tsunade's deduction power and if she told him that there was nothing out of place in Iruka's character, he would believe her. But somehow it didn't make sense to him and he didn't understand why. His instinct had never lied to him before. Could he already be loosing his touch? She had said that _he_ was the problem… Then what was his problem exactly? Why did he feel so strange around the brown-haired man? What was wrong with him?

Kakashi coughed under his blankets, his throat raw. It had been another wonderful day indeed... And somehow, he could tell that more of them were to come.


	4. Of a Ruined Evening

The class was over at last. Students hurried toward the exit while their teacher remained behind, sighing pleasantly to himself. It had been a nice day: his students had been abnormally disciplined, he hadn't run into any of his suitors, there was no homework to grade and he wasn't even working at the mission room this evening, something getting increasingly rare with the desk-duty nin shortage. And even though the chuunin didn't want to admit it, his stalker's lack of presence had greatly improved his mood as well in the last few days. The Hokage must have already talked with Kakashi-sensei... Hatake Kakashi...

At the thought of the man, Iruka felt indignation roar in his chest and at once, he tried to chase away his resentment and the images of the nonchalant man that kept poping up in his mind - he didn't want to think about it. It had been such a nice day so far, he didn't want to ruin his good mood with dark thoughts. For the first time in a very long while, he would have his whole evening for himself! He had to do something special, the chuunin decided as he packed his belongings. It was Wednesday, so he would treat Naruto to ramen, as usual. Maybe he could do a bit of reading in the evening – he'd heard that a really good book just came out. He could stop by the library on his way home and buy it...

As Iruka was contemplating having a nice, quiet evening, someone knocked on the classroom door.

"Please come in," Iruka said loudly to his visitor.

A middle-aged ninja entered the class silently and bowed. "Umino Iruka, the Hokage requests your presence."

Iruka raised his eyebrows at him, slightly surprised. He wondered at first what the Godaime could possibly want with him, but then he guessed that she probably wanted to talk to him about the Copy nin. Kakashi-sensei... Iruka inwardly scowled. The prospect of talking – or even thinking – about that stupid jounin didn't make him happy at all, but some part of him knew it was unavoidable. Sighing inwardly, he thanked the messenger, who bowed again and left silently.

The brown-haired man mentally braced himself, swearing that he wouldn't let that discussion affect his good mood. He was going to have a nice, pleasant evening, stupid peeping jounin or not. He locked his classroom and set off for the Hokage tower, wishing this meeting would finally close the matter - he wanted this whole stalking affair _over_ as soon as possible.

The chuunin used the village's dark and sinuous alleys to get as near as possible to the Hokage tower without getting seen too much – like he had been doing for the past week every time he had to leave his house, thanks to his coworkers and the stupid 'good match' reputation they had spread through the village about him. At that thought, the chuunin inwardly groaned. Although he truly didn't want to date anyone anymore, somehow he wasn't able to turn down people when it came to things like that - he had often been told he was too nice for his own good and he was staring to believe it. So instead of turning down the girls, he started to flee them, which proved to be undoubtedly rude but highly efficient - at least at the beginning, when he had been avoiding only young women, it had been. But if he wanted to avoid getting set up, he now had to avoid the whole village, as incredible as it sounded. Because his "good match" reputation had grown so big that everybody, from old grandmothers to young children, KNEW someone they wanted to introduce him – a friend, a sister, a daughter, a niece, an aunt, a mother, and it went on and on. It was almost now impossible to walk out in the open without being harassed by someone who wanted to give him a rendezvous. He was only safe when he had Naruto around him because people wouldn't approach him much with the Kyuubi holder near, which deeply insulted the chuunin since the blonde had long since proven his worth as a human being as well as as a ninja but was still avoided and hated like a wild beast nonetheless. Naruto, on the other hand, took it rather well: he fancied saying that he was Iruka's "personal bride dispeller". He also had plenty of other humoristic insights on his favorite sensei's love issues, to the chuunin's exasperation and amusement. The blond teen liked to say, between other things, that Iruka had become the "#1 man to marry, dead or alive". Unfortunately for the academy teacher, people seemed to share his ex-pupil's point of view.

Much to his regret, Iruka couldn't enter the Hokage tower without crossing one of the village's main roads, which unfortunately meant meeting a lot of people. Which meant trouble ever since the whole female population of the village decided that he was the best marriageable man in town. When the alley he was walking on emerged onto the main road, Iruka took a big breath, bracing himself for what he knew was coming, and started to walk faster. At once, people recognized him and waved at him. The brown-haired man smiled back at them stiffly, evaluating the distance between him and the Hokage tower with anticipation. As he had feared they would, people started to eye him and walk toward him within seconds and the chuunin did his best to dodge them, pleading he was in a hurry to people who rushed toward him and who called his name. Fortunately, the brown-haired chuunin entered the Hokage headquarters without much fuss and sighed with relief as he headed to the Godaime's office at a slower pace, quite happy with himself that he had managed to get to the Hokage tower without getting himself a date, which was quite an achievement nowadays. But he somewhat feared that his new found rudeness would soil his gentleman reputation on the long run... He guessed that was the price to pay to be left alone.

Iruka climbed the tower and passed by a couple ANBU guards before stopping in front of the Godaime's office, suddenly feeling a bit anxious to hear hat the woman had to say. Promising to himself once again that he wouldn't let that discussion affect his mood, he took a big breath and knocked on the door. At once he heard the old woman commanding him to come in and he quietly pushed one door open.

The Hokage was sitting at her desk, nearly hidden behind numerous pile of paperwork waiting for her attention, obviously deeply absorbed by her work. She looked up at her visitor only when Iruka silently closed the door behind him. When she saw him, a smile appeared on her tired features.

"Ah, Iruka-sensei."

"Hokage-sama, you wanted to see me?" Iruka asked a bit nervously, faking curiosity.

"Yes. Don't give me that look, there's no point hiding that we both know what this meeting is about," the old women said lightly. Iruka coughed, hoping that he wasn't blushing. So much for the protocol...

"I talked to Kakashi yesterday," Tsunade began. Iruka looked at her expectantly, waiting for more.

"You don't have to worry, he won't stalk you anymore. He might be a weirdo, but that kid's word can be trusted."

At those words, the Hokage gave him a warm smile and went back to her paperwork as if there was nothing else to add, much to Iruka's mild indignation. _That was all?_ It couldn't be... When the chuunin realized she wouldn't add anything else, he spoke up.

"Hokage-sama, please excuse me for my indiscretion but... I still have one question."

The blonde looked up, surprised. "Is that so? What is still bothering you, Iruka-kun?"

"Well, I was wondering..." Iruka began, a bit embarrassed, "... Do you know why Kakashi-sama stalked me? Why _me_ , of all people?" he stressed on, inwardly hoping he wasn't being impolite with his superior.

For a brief moment, a flash of something Iruka couldn't read passed through the Godaime's features - like amusement. Or was it sympathy? Then it was gone; she smiled at him and waved her hand in the air dismissively. "You know, jounins and their eccentricities... Maybe you should talk it out with him. Now if you can excuse me Iruka, I have work to do," she added with a small forced smile that clearly meant the end of the discussion and went back to her paperwork.

Iruka's fits and jaw clenched painfully with indignant anger at the vague answer, but he forced himself to remain calm and polite in front of his superior. Stiffly, the chuunin bowed and silently left the Hokage's office, carefully keeping the overflow of emotions swirling rapidly in his chest from showing on his face as he walked down the tower's busy hallways. The man then entered the closest bathroom he found, closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it. His back resting against the small door, Iruka closed his eyes and took long, soothing breaths, trying to regain some kind of control over his emotions and cool down a bit. But even years of dealing with pre-genins had not prepared him to something like that, to this frustration, this indignation... At the remembrance of the Godaime small decisive smile, Iruka's resolution to remain calm and collected was overthrown by a wave of fresh anger and he slammed his clenched fists against the door powerfully, swearing under his breath.

How could she talk about it so lightly! His privacy had been _violated_! A pure stranger had witnessed every aspect of his life for weeks - probably months! Did she even know how much stress he had to live with? Could she even imagine how humiliating that was? To live with the knowledge that a total weirdo like Hatake Kakashi knew every aspect of your private life, from your boring routine to more... personal matters...? How could she talk about it so lightly, dammit!

And that woman _knew_ something he didn't. He saw it clearly on her face. She knew more about Kakashi's motivation than she let on, it was plain obvious. Yet she decided to _purposely_ hide something from him, and that thought only aggravated the academy teacher's fury. He wasn't happy with that evasive answer, oh no, he wasn't... What was she hiding from him? He had the right to know WHY he'd been stalked, goddammit! After all what he had gone through, he wanted to know - he _needed_ to know - _why_...! That wasn't asking much now, wasn't it? Wasn't it?

Plus, she never mentioned anywhere in their discussion that the Copy nin had received any actual punishment for his behavior. _Never_. She probably lectured him, made him swear not to do it again and let him leave without even punishing him! At that though, Iruka's teeth clenched so hard his jaw hurt. That was just so _unfair_...!

The brown-haired man refrained from taking his fury out on the bathroom door again and took a few deep, shaky breaths in attempt to regain some control over his feelings. No matter how he wished to indulge into his dark and bitter thoughts, Iruka was overly aware that having an anger tantrum in the Hokage's tower bathroom was both stupid and pointless. He needed to calm down. The Hokage must have her reasons... Yes, she probably knew what she was doing. She wasn't the Hokage for nothing... And there was nothing he could do about it anyway, so there was no point getting all upset over it. No matter how loud he would yell, it wouldn't change a thing. No, not with this Hokage. Better get used to the idea already and live with it, even if that option appalled the academy teacher.

The chuunin and went to the sinks to splash some water on his face and let the cold water drip slowly off his face, staring miserably at his reflection in the mirror.

He guessed he could say good bye to his good mood.

Shaking his head as to chase away those negative thoughts, Iruka told himself he had to see things in a positive way. Being angry would lead him nowhere. He had his whole evening for himself, he could still enjoy himself. Or at least try to think about something else for a while... He groaned at the thought. Who was he kidding? He had always had a bad temper; there was no way he could get over something as frustrating as that any time soon, even if he knew it was pointless to feel resentful about it. Nevertheless, it was definitely worth giving it a try; anything that meant forgetting about the Hokage and that silver-haired psycho for the time being sounded good to the brown-haired man at the moment.

Iruka wiped his dripping face dry and left the Hokage tower, his head high but his spirits low. He passed through the main road rapidly, ignoring people who hailed him and waved at him before diving into another sinuous little road. The chuunin walked fast. He had planned on treating Naruto to ramen, hadn't he? Then he would treat Naruto to ramen. He liked to treat Naruto to ramen. If the blonde couldn't cheer him up, nothing would. Yeah, that was a good plan. Naruto'd cheer him up.

Iruka made his way through Konoha's alleys to his favorite ex-student's apartment, a small, gloomy building that was in relatively good condition if you didn't take account of its rebuffing appearance. Forcing a painful smile on his lips, the brown-haired man knocked Naruto's door. But nothing happened. He knocked again, but the apartment remained silent and the chuunin frowned. Odd. It was not like Naruto to make visitors wait; he was usually so thrilled to have some that he literally ran to the door to greet them. But not today. Just then, Iruka noticed a lone painfully bright orange post-it left right by the door – in his haste to see Naruto, he hadn't even noticed it, to his own bewilderment. Suddenly feeling a bit wary, Iruka read the badly written note.

_Iruka-sensei,_

_I wanted to warn you but I couldn't find you at the academy or at the mission room. I know that we usually eat ramen together on Wednesday evening, but tonight I can't. It's not because I don't want to! But Sasuke invited me to eat and stay at his place for the night. I never went to Sasuke's, I can't miss that occasion to gather information I could use against him!_

_I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei! But you can still treat me tomorrow, ne? Then I'll tell you all the great stuff I found about Sasuke!_

_See you around tomorrow for ramen!_

_Naruto_

Iruka sighed in defeat. His plans for a nice evening were slowly vanishing into thin air one after the other in front of his eyes... But he felt happy for his ex-pupil nonetheless. It was really great to see him getting friends of his age for once. " _I can't miss that occasion to gather information I could use against him,_ " he smiled to himself as he read the note again. It was amusing to see that even though the blonde ninja had long grown out of his prankster phase, he still faked to think like one. As if he thought he would be laughed at if he admitted he wanted to see Sasuke and spend some quality time with his rival and best friend. After all, Naruto hadn't changed that much, the man thought fondly.

Iruka turned around and stared at the road in front of him, a bit lost about what to do next. He wasn't feeling really hungry, now that he thought about it. So he could skip lunch for now, buy the book he had heard about and spend the rest of the evening home... And he would order something when he felt hungry later in the evening. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. So the chuunin set off for the bookshop, which fortunately wasn't too far away, bought the famous book and left the store in very little time, which got him a little hopeful to have a nice, quiet evening after all. As he was heading home, he passed in front of a drugstore and had a sudden urge for chocolate. Even though he liked them a lot, Umino Iruka didn't eat sweets very often and the idea of a chocolate bar or two sounded quite appealing at the moment, so the brown-haired man decided to indulge into a rare treat and buy some chocolate to cheer himself up. He waved back at the shop owner and went straight to the sweet corner of the store, grabbed two chocolate bars and dumped them on the counter. He politely exchanged a few words with the shopkeeper, paid for them and then turned around to leave. Just as he did so, Iruka looked up and almost had a heart attack; a few feet behind him stood the last person in the whole he wanted to see at the moment. Hatake Kakashi, of all people.

At the sight of the silver-haired man, the chuunin felt his whole body tensing up and his heart pounding so fast that he thought it was trying to break through his rib cage. Anger roared in him once again at the sight of the lazy jounin, although he didn't know if he was more angry at the man in front of him or angry at himself for having such a humiliating reaction in front of him - because there was no way an elite ninja like him hadn't noticed his surprise and nervousness, which was highly embarrassing. On another hand, the jounin was onviously surprised to run into him as well, if the way he stared at him rather blankly was any indication.

"Ah, good afternoon, Iruka-sensei."

The silver-haired man had said those words casually, as if nothing had happened between them and the chuunin felt himself twitch. That was too much. How... _ **dared**_ he? How dared he talking to him as if nothing happened? Iruka couldn't believe the guts of that man! All the anger and frustration the chuunin had tried to repress after his encounter with the Hokage returned full force, the fury boiling in his veins making his teeth and fists clench so hard they were painful. Iruka gave the jounin a death glare that would have scared the most courageous men into hiding under their bed in a fetal position, putting all his anger, his resentment and his bitterness in it. And for a moment, the brown-haired man thought he saw the jounin deflate under his hatred-filled gaze. But it must have been a trick of his mind, because in the blink of an eye, the arrogant Kakashi he was used to was back, looking as happily unconcerned as before. The ex-anbu's indifferent behavior only infuriated Iruka even more, and the chuunin had to summon all the self restrain he could muster not to strangle him right on the spot to see his damn curved eye popping out of his stupid gray head. Instead, he resolutely ignored the man and left the small store very stiffly. He had walked only a couple of feet from the store when he heard the jounin called his name. Too high on nerves to just ignore the call, Iruka found himself bolting around swiftly to glare at the older man, who was standing right behind him, holding up a small back in his gloved hand.

"You forgot your bag, sensei."

"... How _dare_ you...?" Iruka muttered very slowly under his breath, his whole body shaking from suppressed anger. The silver-haired man blinked at him, looking quite placid.

That was it. The last straw. Iruka felt something snap in him and before he knew it, he was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"How DARE you as if nothing happened!" The brown-haired chuunin spat out, all pretensions of staying calm long evaporated. "You perverted, egoistic ...rotten sick bastard! You think that you can just stalk people freely like that! Don't you have respect for anything!"

"Ahh, Iruk-"

"Don't you even think of "Iruka"ing me! You dirty, depraved psycho! It's a wonder the Hokage let a total unbalanced freak like you teach genins! You don't even -"

"Iru-"

"WILL YOU LET ME TALK, YOU ECCENTRIC BASTARD!" Iruka roared, completely out of himself. "Don't think I'll let you go away with this easily, you- humph!"

Before Iruka could finish his sentence, Kakashi smoothly put his hand on the enraged man's mouth and gave him a hidden apologetic smile.

"I don't mind the attention at all, but I doubt you will once you've calmed down a bit," the jounin said calmly. At those words, Iruka stared a bit before remembering that they were in the middle of a street, where anybody could see and hear them. In fact, their one-sided quarrel had already brought a lot of attention to themselves, as the shop owner and a few customers were staring shamelessly at them through the shop's window, looking both dumbfounded and highly interested by the whole thing. The chuunin blushed from anger and shame as he felt half a dozen eyes watching him hungrily and pushed away Kakashi's hand quickly, before turning around and walking away at a brisk pace. Much to his annoyance, the jounin seemed to be following him.

They soon reached a deserted and neglected little alley where they mostly couldn't be seen and the chuunin turned around, glaring at the silver-haired man still following him. The chuunin finally had a good look at him and noticed for the first time how miserable the elite jounin looked like. There were shadows under his eye, his shoulders were slouched, his clothes were crumpled and smelly and even his usually spiky hair seemed to have known better days. He looked on the whole overly worn out – or very sick, which somehow surprised a bit the chuunin.

If he wouldn't have been so angry at him, Iruka would probably have felt sorry for him. Probably. But for the moment he couldn't care less about how tired and/or sick the Copy nin possibly was: as thing were, he needed all his self-restrain to stop himself from strangling the man right on the spot.

"What is wrong with you?" he hissed angrily at the quiet man, "Can't you just leave me alone? Or is it that you can't find somebody else to stalk today?"

"Actually… I wanted to apologize."

That quiet declaration took Iruka by surprise. The chuunin eyed Kakashi skeptically, staying on the defensive. "Oh, really?"

The jounin looked at his feet and rubbed his neck with embarrassment. "Hum, I'm not good at those things... Listen now, Iruka-sensei, I... I never meant any harm. I never intended to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry I've upset you, I never meant to."

"You never meant to?" Iruka snapped back at him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, so you mean you stalked me for God-only-knows how long, but it never occurred to your GENIUS self that I wouldn't feel absolutely okay to be stalked by a crazy, perverted jounin like you?"

The hesitant jounin seemed to feeling increasingly uncomfortable. "Well – It was nothing like that, really…"

"Nothing like what?"

"I mean, it was not like I was watching you because I'm perverted or something."

Iruka was getting increasingly irritated. "Oh, Obviously not! I guess it was out of candid interest that you watched me shower every fuckin' night, is that it?"

"But I wasn't spying on your for fun!" Kakashi protested with mild indignation as Iruka made a movement to get away and glared at him.

"I've had enough, ok? You've had your fun, and now you come around here and try to make fun of me some more? Did you really think I'd swallow all that bullshit and forgive you just like that so that you could better stab me in the back again? You're despicable!"

"Iruka, wait-!" the chuunin had turned away and was walking away when he felt Kakashi's hand on his arm. The next thing he knew, his clenched fist was smashing into the jounin's face full force, sending a wave of pain through his right fist from the sheer power of the impact. In slow motion, he saw the silver-haired man hurl to the ground and crash violently onto the alley's dirty ground, where he stayed still for a while. For a second, Iruka stared at the man he had just punched, and when he didn't get up, he turned around and left swiftly. Emotions boiling up in his chest, the chuunin's brisk walk soon turned into a small trot, then a run. Before he even realized it, he was in front of his apartment's door, unlocking his front door.

When he closed the door behind him, Iruka slammed his fist violently into the nearby wall, emotions swelling painfully again in his chest. He took a few deep breath and let himself slide to the floor, his back against the door he had just come through. To his own surprise and utter frustration, he then started to cry, alone and dejected in his silent apartment.

The Hokage sighed tiredly in her large armchair. It had been such a long day…! She had been working non-stop on _paperwork_ since seven o'clock in the morning and was feeling both exhausted and bored out of her mind. It was a miracle she could still see straight at this hour, really. And to her utter horror, the sky was beginning to darken outside yet there still was a two inch high pile of paperwork demanding her immediate attention. At some point, she wondered if the paper wasn't duplicating itself when she wasn't looking...

As she was about to get back to work unwillingly, she heard someone knocking on the door of her office. She told her visitor to come in, happy to have some kind of distraction from her damn paperwork – at this point, any kind of distraction was good. The large door opened to reveal Hatake Kakashi.

"Ah, you're coming to give me your mission report? I can't say you're early," she snarled at him before getting a better view of him. "Holy shit Hatake, _what happened to you!_ "

The jounin looked like he had reached the bottom. His clothes were dirty, his shoulders were slouched, his head was kept low and his visible eye was bloodshot - as if he would have recently... cried? In any case, miserable was the obvious word that came to her mind at his sight, a word she would have never though she would ever associate with the always in control and cool jounin. Which was definitely worrisome.

"You look like you've been walked on by an elephant," she told the elite jounin frankly, who stood still silently, his gaze never leaving the floor. The Hokage frowned worriedly. No witty retort? No bored look? Definitely, there was something wrong there. She had never seen the jounin looking so bad before. What could possibly have disheartened him so much...? Then it hit her.

"Did you run into Iruka?" she said without thinking. At once, she regretted asking but the words were already out of her mouth. The man in front of her did not answer her question, but his lack of reaction gave him away and Tsunade inwardly groaned. When he had left her in the afternoon, Umino Iruka looked like he was about to murder someone - whatever happened between them this afternoon, it couldn't have been good for any of them. Especially not for the Copy nin, who obviously didn't quite grasp what he had done wrong to start with. And who obviously was very fond of the brown-haired teacher, even though he didn't grasp that either...

They remained silent for a while, the jounin's gaze never leaving the wooden boards under his feet. Although she was a bit ashamed of it, the Godaime felt very curious to know what happened to unsettle the usually unshakable Sharigan user so much. Of course, prying answers out of him - or even out of Iruka - would be indiscreet and inconsiderate for her to do, but she would make sure to do what needed to be done to find out precisely what had happened. Out of concern for them, of course. Not that it would be a difficult task – it was a ninja village, after all. She would be damned if there was not at least one person who had heard a bit of their discussion – especially since Umino Iruka wasn't know to be the quiet type. The constant complains she received from the academy's neighbors for the man's loud yells were proof of it.

As the Godaime was musing over which ninja she would assign to fulfill her little selfish information-gathering mission, Kakashi stretched his arm to give her his slightly crumpled mission report. Then he spoke up for the first time.

"Give me another mission," he asked blankly. His voice was a mere whisper and for half a second, Tsunade was under the impression that the Kakashi who was standing in front of her was a shadow of his old indifferent self.

"You don't look in a very good state to back to fieldwork Hatake, you should wait a couple of days and have some rest," the older woman answered slowly.

"Then give me something easy, I don't mind."

"Kakashi, you-"

"Hokage-sama," the jounin cut her, a clear plead in his hoarse voice. The blond woman stared at him with mild pity and sighed, glancing through her most recent mission assignments for something the tired man could manage easily. She found a one week long B-ranked information-gathering mission and pulled it out of the stack to give it a closer look. That was perfect for him; nothing he would get exhausted over, and it lasted just long enough to give him the time he needed to get over his emotional issues – or at least forget them for a while. She handed it to him and watched him bow and leave as silently as he had come, caring a new mission with him, her heart feeling unusually heavy at the sight of the hurt jounin trying to drown his emotional pain into work. Whatever the chuunin had told him - and she had a good idea what it had probably resolved around - it had strongly shaken the Copy nin. To think that the poor brat didn't even understand why all that shit fell on him... The old woman stared at the closed door for a while, worried about the obviously heart broken ninja's sake. Maybe it had been a bad idea to agree to the man's request… But she didn't need to worry; Hatake Kakashi was far too professional and well-trained to let his feelings distract him during a mission, so he would be alright. Physically, that is. Mentally, that was another story…

Well, it was not like she could do more than she had already done to help him. He knew that only time could help the socially inept jounin to see through his pain and maybe understand it. It was something he needed to do for himself - and by himself, and no amount of worry from her part would be of any help to the confused nin. In the meanwhile, she had to get back to work… Plus, she now had to find a substitute teacher for Kakashi's brats. Not that they needed it, but still. She could give them some low C-ranked mission to keep them busy while their teacher was away. Yes, that sounded a good idea... even if it would piss them off to no end.

Yup, definitely a good idea. She smirked, feeling happy to know that she wouldn't be the only stuck with boring work for the next few days.


	5. Iruka's Issues Part I

"So he told me that I couldn't kick his ass! I wanted to give him a lesson, but Sakura interfered and then..."

Iruka nodded, listening faithfully to his exuberant ex-student as he related of his latest adventures. It was getting pretty late and the ramen bar was mostly empty except for them and the place's owner, who was distantly listening to the very talkative blond teenager as he washed the dirty dishes of the day in silence. The brown-haired man shivered and hugged his warm bowl closer as a gust of cool wind blew the thin clothe doors of the ramen bar apart and hit him. Winter was approaching very fast and with every day that passed by, the weather was getting colder - especially at night, when the harsh winter wind started to blow on the cold, dark streets of Konoha. For some reasons, the chuunin had never quite liked winter, not even in his childhood. Winter and all the things that came with it – cold weather, sick students, extra layers of clothing, numb fingers, higher gas bills – turned him down enough that even the prettiness of the sight the snowy village made under the soft light of the moon and the smiles that graced the children's faces when the first snow finally came did not made up for it. As a second gust of wind hit him, the academy teacher felt truly glad he didn't have to face the cold and merciless wind on everyday basis like some duty guards had to. It was under weathers like these that he fully appreciated being assigned to the mission room instead of the guard patrol. At least, he was safe and warm while he had to deal with all those stupid nins who couldn't be trusted to even write their name properly. Plus, the coffee was free.

"Hey, are you listening, Iruka-sensei!"

"Huh? Sorry Naruto, I think I was zoning out for a while," the academy teacher answered sheepishly, rubbing the scar on his nose. "What were you saying again?"

The blonde remained silent and started staring suspiciously at his favorite teacher, his blue eyes narrowing thoughtfully. Then, a mischievous grin grew on his lips.

"Oh my... You're dazzled after your last romantic date, zoning out all the time... Iruka-sensei, would you be in _love_?" The teenager said dramatically and Iruka, completely taken aback by his ex-student's comment, choked on his mouthful of water. The chuunin coughed, trying to get the water out of his burning lungs helplessly as his ex-student howled with laugher at his reaction, nearly falling of his seat several times. Even the owner of the stand was snickering in his corner, although nobody could hear him with all the racket coming from his very loud customers. When he finally found his breath back, Iruka scowled at the teenager.

"Naruto! You shouldn't stay things like that! What if somebody heard you and started repeating it to the whole village!"

"That would be great! Then you'd have a lot less girls running after you!" The teenager answered joyfully, winking at his ex-teacher and Iruka sighed, smiling awkwardly to himself. Even though he knew it was only normal for the blonde to take interest into love, dating and sex at his age – he was a growing young man after all - the chuunin somehow couldn't get used to it.

"Seriously, how was your date this afternoon, Iruka-sensei?" the blond teen asked curiously as he went back to devouring what was left of his meal. That question stirred al lot of strange feelings in the chuunin, who sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand awkwardly.

"A real nightmare... Not that she wasn't a nice girl. But... I don't know, I just can't seem to..." the brown-haired man explained with mild confusion, a bit at a loss for words. Just as he finished his last sentence, Iruka suddenly felt really stupid for sharing such intimate thoughts with a 15 year old – and especially Naruto, who, although he was a nice and caring young man, wasn't known for his discretion nor his good advices. At any point, that wasn't the kind of discussion he should have had with a teenager over a bowl of ramen, but rather with an old friend over a bottle of sake. But unfortunately for him, the academy teacher had no real good friend left to share his problems with anymore. He used to have some, but that time seemed so distant that he wondered if he had not imagined it...

Iruka gave a sideway look at the ramen-lover, who was staring at him rather blankly. After a moment, the blonde teen shrugged and simply said: "Maybe girls are not your thing," before going back to his ramen bowl, chewing happily on his noodles.

Iruka's body tensed up at those words, his eyes widening. What? What did Naruto mean? Did he think that he was... ?

"What do you mean by that?"

"What what?" Naruto answered simply, surprise clearly written on his features. Iruka gazed into those innocent and clueless blue eyes - no, Naruto couldn't have meant that. Of course not. The thought probably never even passed though his ex-pupil's mind; he was being stupid. The chuunin inwardly sighed with relief, his tense muscles relaxing as he realized he had overreacted a bit. To think that he had imaged the ramen lover had meant he was... Of course he wouldn't have. That was stupid of him. Beside him, the teenager was staring at him with narrowed eyes, looking strangely concerned about his ex-teacher's suspiciously uncalled for reaction.

"...What was that?"

"Ah, nothing. Forget about it," the brown-haired man muttered back with a smile, suddenly feeling guilty for making the young teen worry. And over such a stupid thing, too… Some part of the chuunin's mind wondered why that small comment had affected him so strongly, but he somehow didn't feel like thinking his reaction over too much. Lately, thinking had only led him to depression... To change the subject, Iruka turned toward his favorite ex-student and winked at him.

"And you Naruto, is there anybody you're interested in?" he asked playfully, watching with interest a small blush rising on the teenager's cheeks.

"Nah, not for the moment," the teen mumbled into his ramen, his cheeks turning yet redder. Iruka laughed softly at the teen's give-away blush and playfully poked the teenager in his ribs with his elbow, but did not further inquire. At his age, it was normal to be a little secretive about affairs of the heart... Naruto pushed away the invading elbow and looked away, obviously embarrassed, and that made Iruka smile. During moments like these, it truly felt like the bond they were sharing was way more than just a student-teacher bond, a thought that always left him strangely warm and happy inside.

"...I hope Kakashi-sensei will be back soon from his stupid mission. Since he's left, that old hag's been giving us lousy missions!" Naruto mumbled moodily between two mouthfuls of ramen, obviously trying to change the subject.

When he heard the jounin's name, the brown-haired man froze, his features turning bitter as a mix of anger and disgust spread in his chest at the thought of the silver-haired man. Hatake Kakashi... It had been nine long days since he had had that row with the elite jounin, but the anger and resentment Iruka was feeling toward him were as acute as they had been on that painful evening. He truly was glad the Copy nin was away because he didn't know how he would react if he was to run into him again - which would unfortunately happen sooner or later, since he worked at the mission room. Until now, the chuunin had tried to forget about the whole issue and bury his resentment for the time being, but he was acutely aware that such a tactic was bound to fail and wouldn't help him to feel better in the long run. Yet, he had no idea how he was supposed to deal with his hatred and humiliation, and knew even less how to deal with the Copy nin himself. Forgive the jounin? Like hell he would! The guy had stalked him for months and had dared to come back afterward to make fun of him – forgiving him wasn't even an option. But to say the truth, the brown-haired man truly didn't know what his other options were supposed to be – ignore the man? Be mean to him? Fake being nice to him? How was that supposed to be mature? No matter how angry he was at the Sharigan user, Umino Iruka wasn't willing to sink that low, even if the jounin fully deserved it. Sometime he wished he wouldn't such a nice guy… The chuunin sighed darkly, his grim and bitter thoughts making him feel even more helpless about the whole situation.

Then, Naruto's words tore the academy teacher from his dark inner musings and harshly brought him back to reality.

"Iruka-sensei, do you have issues with Kakashi-sensei?" the teenager asked cautiously, looking mildly worried and at those words, the chuunin felt his heart clench and eyed his ex-student warily.

"What gives you that idea?"

"Everytime I say his name, your face turns sour," Naruto explained quietly, choosing carefully his words.

Iruka let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding at that explanation. He truly didn't want anyone to know he'd been stalked by Hatake Kakashi - it was humiliating enough to know he had been spied on by a comrade for months, he didn't want others to know. And especially not Naruto, who he loved like a little brother. The chuunin looked at the blond teen, not knowing what to tell him exactly. As he gazed into those mildly worried and innocent blue eyes, Iruka sighed; he couldn't tell him the humiliating truth, but he wouldn't be able to lie so openly to Naruto. He had never been good at lying anyway.

"Is it so obvious?" the brown-haired man asked softly, a sad smile finding its way to his lips as the teen nodded vigorously. The chuunin sighed and an awkward silence stretched between the two males - a silence that clearly meant the older man didn't want to talk about his issues with Naruto's current teacher. To Iruka's relief and gratitude, the blond teenager respected his silence and did not press on the matter for the time being - something so considerate and insightful of him that the chuunin could hardly believe how mature the obnoxious teen had grown to be in those few years. A maturity and tactfulness Iruka doubted he had gotten from his current teacher… No, he didn't want to go that way.

Sighing, the academy teacher stared sadly at his ramen bowl: with all those musings, he wasn't even feeling hungry anymore... Damn that Kakashi, why did he have to upset him even when he wasn't even there? Couldn't he disappear once and for all from his life!

"You should settle your problem with him, you know," Naruto said finally, breaking the silence. "People say a lot of awful stuff about Kakashi-sensei, but he's a nice guy." As an afterthought, the young man added darkly "... when he's not late."

The chuunin blinked, surprised to hear such wisdom coming from his ex-pupil. Once again, he couldn't believe how fast Naruto had grown up. When had the ramen-lover become so mature? Iruka stared at his favorite ex-student, who flashed him one of his well-known bright smiles and returned to his ramen bowl, ravishing it with renewed energy, as if nothing had happened.

The brown-haired man then stared back at his own bowl, thoughtful. Of course Naruto was trying to help, but… he didn't know what he was talking about. He couldn't understand Iruka's humiliation, his pain and his bitterness... But the whole discussion made the chuunin think over his own attitude – for Naruto to notice so easily that he was upset with the Copy nin, his resentment must have been quite obvious. And that wouldn't do. Sure enough, he had his reasons –and damn good reasons at that - to be mad at the jounin, but it wasn't an excuse for him to let it show so much. Getting all upset because he heard the silver-haired man's name sure as hell _wasn't_ setting a good example and was not quite mature of him. Unfortunately, it wasn't like it was something he could _control_... The resentment he felt at the mention of the Sharigan user was like fire spreading through him, eating him from the inside; how was he suppose to hide such a thing?

Umino Iruka knew himself. He knew only too well that those feelings would never die – the years would pass by and deep down inside of him, he would always feel some of that bitterness nagging him when he would see the jounin, hear his voice or his name at the ramen shop, in the mission room or as he walked down the streets. Oh, he'd be able to get rid of his hatred... if he pardoned the man. But that was not about to happen any time soon. He knew he could never do that. And even if he could, he didn't _want_ to. He didn't want to give a chance to the jounin to do more damage than he already had. He didn't even want to look into his eyes again. But at the same time, he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing him flee his eyes neither.

In the end, it always came back to the same question, that question he had tried to avoid in the past nine days but that Naruto somehow kept on digging up and pressing on him without knowing: what was he supposed to do exactly? Act distant and cold? Ignore him? Or just do as if nothing happened? What would be the best attitude to adopt? And the more he thought about it, the less he knew what to do... The whole situation made him feel so ridiculously helpless he wanted to scream.

Naruto finished eating his ramen bowl in silence and joyfully thanked the older man before setting off home, leaving the tortured chuunin behind. Iruka stayed alone in front of his long-cold ramen bowl for a while, lost in his dark thoughts. After a few minutes, he decided to back go home as well - there was really no point in brooding for hours in front of his half-eaten meal. He paid his bill, wished good night to the owner and left the warmth of the shop, unwillingly stepping into the coldness of the night. At once, the harshness of the icy wind hit him, making him shiver under his uniform, and he bitterly regretted to have forgotten his coat home again.

As he hurried back home, the chuunin passed through the sinuous small alleys and avoided the main streets again even if said streets were empty, probably out of habit. In that kind of weather, they only looked gloomier than usual, which was saying something. Even though he wasn't the kind of man to be scared so easily, Iruka couldn't help but feel a bit nervous in those dark, grim alleys, and shuddered at the thought of just how easy it would be to any minimally skilled and calculative nin to set a few deathful traps along those. Not that such things were likely to happen inside the village, but you never knew.

The brown-haired man walked faster.

Suddenly, Iruka heard the sound of broken glass, closely followed by a dull thud somewhere to his left. At once, the well-trained chuunin adopted a defensive stand, muscles tensed and blood rushing rapidly through his veins in anticipation of any kind of attack. But nothing came. The street he was walking on was as dead silent and deserted as ever. Holding the kunai he had instinctively grabbed tighter, the academy teacher stealthily made his way to the source of the clashing sound he had just heard, his feet leading him to a broader road. As he approached the wider road, the chuunin noticed something that made his blood run cold: a few meters in front of him, what seemed to be the inanimate body of a man was lying face down on the road, a shattered bottle spreading on the ground a few inches away from him.

Before hurrying to help the unconscious man, Iruka carefully looked for any hidden human presence or any trap: it easily could have been a set up to lure him – hadn't he been reflecting on how easy it would be to set such traps in those streets a mere moment ago? When he was absolutely sure that there was no hidden chakra around, he cautiously ran toward the man and examined him. Now that he was closer, he could distinguish in the darkness of the night the uniform of the Konoha nins - even though it looked torn and blood-soaked - and a mass of pale-looking hair. The man seemed to be severely wounded and his chakra reserves were incredibly low, almost inexistent. The chuunin anxiously bent down over the corpse to take its pulse: he was still alive. Barely, but still alive. He needed to be brought to the hospital. At once.

Willing himself to remain calm, Iruka carefully took the rather heavy man in his arms and dashed toward the hospital, which luckily was only a few hundred meters away. The wounded ninja was probably heading for the hospital when he collapsed, Iruka deduced as he ran as fast as he could. He hoped he wouldn't arrive too late...!

As he was running, he passed under a spotlight and light suddenly washed over them, revealing for the first time the features of the wounded man Iruka was holding in his arms.

Hatake Kakashi?

The brown-haired man almost came to an alt when he recognized the unmistakable mass of unruly silver hair and the masked face, feeling stunned. A mix of unexplainable emotions washed through the young man, but Iruka put them aside furiously and kept running toward the hospital, the unconscious Hatake Kakashi lying limply in his arms. The hospital was only a few meters away.

' _Don't you dare dying on me, Hatake!_ ' the chuunin thought desperately as they reached the building and he dashed into the hospital's main doors with his shoulder, not even bothering to slow down his pace. He wanted to yell at someone to help him, to do something, but he didn't even had time to say anything - as soon as the nurse in the entrance hall saw the mutilated and bloody body be was carrying, she cursed under her breath and called for help. In a matter of mere seconds, several healing nins appeared out of nowhere, took the unconscious jounin away from Iruka's arms, lied him down on a stretcher and took him away.

They soon disappeared into the hospital corridors, checking the silver-haired man's pulse and yelling orders at each others on their way, and the chuunin listened to the dying sounds of their urgent yells in an almost dream-like state while he stood in the entrance, left behind. Alone and forgotten. He stood by the reception desk, panting, adrenaline still rushing through his veins, and stared weakly at the now quiet hallway the jounin had vanished into, feeling totally helpless. Empty.

Useless.

Iruka waited for God-only-knows how long, standing alone in the deserted entrance of the hospital, pacing. At some point he sat down, unable to leave for some unknown reasons. His emotions were torturing him again, but the nature of the battle that was occurring inside of him was slightly different this time. His chest felt painfully tight as emotions he had never felt before for the Copy nin fought for dominance. Worry. Guilt. Shame. Oh, he was still angry at the Sharigan user, but... but... He couldn't explain it clearly.

The chuunin wondered why the sake of a man he almost didn't know - and more importantly, who he despised - affected him so much. True, he hated Hatake Kakashi with passion, but he had never wished for his death nevertheless... Yet it didn't explain why he suddenly cared so much that he was anxiously pacing down the hospital entrance, trying to convince himself that the man would live through it. Nor did it explain why, now that the jounin was on the verge of death, Iruka was feeling a bit guilty for being so harsh toward him. The chuunin frowned at the thought. Half-dead or not, the academy teacher still firmly believed that the Copy nin fully deserved his fury, so he couldn't quite explain this sudden guilt clutching to his gust. Hell, he didn't know what to think and feel anymore.

The man'd better not die...!

So Iruka waited. Waited for what, he didn't know exactly, but he waited nonetheless. Time seemed to have slowed to its stop somehow, as the chuunin worried over the sake of a man he hated and wondered about feelings he did not understand for what seemed like forever. After an undetermined period of time - the academy teacher couldn't tell if it took a few minutes or several hours - the Hokage herself, still wearing her night dress, came out of the hallway Kakashi had been taken into and walked toward him. When she saw him she first looked surprised, but then her deceitfully young features relaxed into a small tired smile and she came to sit down beside him, sighing.

"I assume you are the one who found him?" the older woman asked quietly. Iruka slowly nodded, a silent question written on his features.

"Don't worry, he'll survive," she told him. "But it was a short call. A few more minutes and we wouldn't have been able to do anything for him. You truly did save his life."

The chuunin sighed in relief, sensing some of his inner dilemma disappearing already now that he knew the jounin was going to make it.

"Do you know what happened to him? How he got beat up so badly?" The healer asked with a thoughtful frown and Iruka stared in mild surprise.

"No... I just found him on my way home, Hokage-sama."

"Crap. I guess we'll have to wait until he wakes up, then," the Godaime silently said as she crossed he arms, her frown deepening. When the chuunin looked puzzled, she quickly explained: "His mission was supposed to be B-ranked – a piece of cake, so to speak. Whatever he ran into, it must have been something big for him to come back half-dead like that. That brat doesn't have such a good reputation for nothing; he's one of our finest jounin. I'm worried about what happened to him..."

Iruka stared at her, concern and uneasiness stirring at the pitch of his stomach as he realized for the first time just how serious the situation truly was. Of course, the Copy nin was NOT taken down easily – how could he have overlooked such an important fact? A half-death Hatake Kakashi found unconscious in the middle of the village implied many things – not of them good things either. The Hokage had every right to be anxious…

The Godaime suddenly started muttering under her breath, obviously lost in her thoughts. Her voice was barely louder than a whisper, but the brown-haired man's sensitive ears caught on her words and what he overheard the old woman mumble to herself surprised him.

"Should have known better..."

"Hokage-sama?" the academy teacher asked with mild concern and the blond woman stared at him with a slightly surprised face, as if she already had forgotten he was just beside her.

"Ah, sorry Iruka-kun," she apologized tiredly, looking a bit sheepish. "I guess I was thinking out loud."

"You shouldn't blame yourself, Hokage-sama," Iruka assured her calmly. "How could you have guessed that things would go wrong?" The woman didn't answer at first, a thoughtful frown on her pretty features.

"... He was in no state to go back to field work, B-rank mission or not. He was still worn out from his previous mission, obviously sick and had just had that row with you too... I knew I should have sent him back home," she said with a sigh, rubbing her temples. At those words, Iruka's eyes widened with shock and he started to splutter.

"W-what? How did you... How did you find out about our -erm- quarrel?"

"Well... I heard you weren't exactly quiet, Iruka-kun. This _is_ a ninja village, after all," the Hokage replied simply, obviously amused by the man's reaction. The chuunin looked down a blush of mortification spreading on his tanned face. Damn, he should have known this would happen...! Nothing remained secret for long in Konoha – people were far too curious _and_ skilled at spying each other for anything to remain secret for long. He hoped she wouldn't think too badly of him because of it...

To the chuunin's relief, the subject was dropped altogether as the Godaime suddenly sighed heavily and got up on her feet, obviously intending to leave.

"I'm sorry I bothered you with the inner turmoil of an old woman, Iruka-sensei. Anyhow, you should go home now, there's no point staying here," she told him with something of her usual straightforwardness as she started to walk toward the exit. She was about to reach the door when she stopped on her track and turned around to give the man a last unreadable look.

"…You know Iruka… You should talk it over with Kakashi when he wakes up."

The brown-haired man tensed up, stunned by the unexpected advice. "Huh?"

"As long as you refuse to settle your issues with him, your conscience won't leave you alone," she told him with a sad knowing smile. The chuunin was first surprised by her words, but then his gaze went to the ground, a frown slowly forming itself on his face as he stared intensely at his feet. A tense silence stretched between them, and when the brown-haired man spoke up again, his voice was a mere whisper.

"Talking to _him_?" he snorted silently. "What would I tell him...? Everything has been said already. And if there's more to hear, I... I'm not sure I want to hear it either, Hokage-sama."

"...Living in the doubt or risking getting more hurt, that's up to you to choose, Iruka," Tsunade said finally, setting off for the exit again. "Men have their pride, but sometimes you've got to learn to get over it to keep advancing in life. Good night, Iruka."

And she disappeared into the cold autumn night, leaving a rather perplexed chuunin behind. Iruka stared at the closed hospital doors behind which the blonde woman had disappeared, frowning in confusion. What was that? What did she mean by that…? Living in the doubt? Get over his pride? What had she been talking about?

The academy teacher stayed alone in the hospital entrance for a while, musing over the woman's words. In the end he decided to go back home, as the Hokage had wisely advised him – there was truly no point staying there anymore, so he'd better head back home already. The night was even colder than before, but somehow Iruka only vaguely noticed the harshness of the wind and the numbness of his frozen members as he made his way home, too deep in thoughts to spare much thought to this frozen feet and shivering teeth. Although she hadn't said it, the Godaime had made it clear that Hatake Kakashi had _asked_ for that mission, and just after they had their row. What did it mean? Why had the jounin wanted to leave the village just then? Or maybe it had nothing to do with him and he was trying to see too much into it...?

As he walked, Iruka played back in his head his discussion with his superior, a slight frown on his features. Somehow, something felt amiss. It was only a vague impression, but it bugged him nonetheless. The brown-haired man was still trying to figure out why he felt like he had missed out something when he finally reached his apartment building, his frozen fingers difficultly digging up his keys from his pocket.

As the chuunin unlocked his front door, it hit him.

Like Tsunade-sama had pointed out, Hatake Kakashi was no mere jounin, if the reputation he had built himself in Konoha and around the world was any indication. Then, how come he had managed to _hit_ the Copy nin on that evening nine days ago...? Iruka was aware of his strength and knew perfectly well that, although he was rather skilled for a chuunin, he was still far from Kakashi-sensei's league…. Very far. Then, what did it mean? Had the jounin... _purposely_ let him hit him? Why would he...? Unless...

Unless he was wrong about the man.

A terrible sinking feeling gripped the chuunin's gust as he stared at his unlocked door. Could he have misunderstood Kakashi's intentions? Could the man have told him... the truth? Iruka highly doubted it. There was no way – what he had told him made absolutely no sense, he couldn't have been sincere. That couldn't have been the truth.

But…

But _what if_? What if the Copy nin hadn't lied and honestly hadn't thought his actions would offend him, as unbelievable as it seemed? What if he had watched him in all innocence, without sexual thoughts? What if he _had been_ sorry...? In that case, the chuunin probably owned him an apology for punching him like he did.

...But what if it wasn't? Iruka would only humiliate himself further if he tried something and the jounin used his good will to make fun of him again. And he wouldn't be able to stand it, he knew it. There was only so much his hurt pride could take, and getting played a second time would be just too hard to swallow. No, he wouldn't accept to be humiliated again by that man again.

Iruka felt his shoulders fall in despondence as he suddenly understood the meaning of the cryptic advice the Hokage had previously given him. "Living in the doubt or risking getting more hurt, that's up to you to choose," that's what she had told him. Somehow, that wise old woman had understood the chuunin's inner issues before he himself even did... Indeed, would he risk getting humiliated a second time for the sake of finding out whether or not the Sharigan user had meant what he had said? The chuunin sighed in the bone-chilling night and rested his forehead against the cool surface of his front door in exhaustion.

Sure enough, sleep wouldn't come fast for a certain brown-haired chuunin that night.


	6. Iruka's Issues Part II

Darkness.

His world was surrounded by darkness. Filled with emptiness.

Where was he? He couldn't tell. Not that he cared. Nothing seemed to matter in this world. He felt... distant. Everything felt so distant. Distant from what? He didn't know. He couldn't hear, see, touch, smell or even _feel_ anything in this place. There was only emptiness.

...It was boring. What did he like to do when he felt bored again? He couldn't remember... Wait. He did. He used to read a book. Right, when he was bored, he read. But there were no books in there... In fact, there was nothing at all. How boring. What was the point of being there if there was nothing to do?

He was about to slip back to unconsciousness when the faint noises reached his ears and stirred his curiosity. They were so quiet at first that he couldn't tell what kind of sound they were exactly. As he focused on them, they gradually grew louder until he could recognize those noises for what they were. Voices.

So there were other people out there too? Then why couldn't he see them? What were they saying? He couldn't tell. They seemed to be talking amongst themselves. As if he wasn't there. He felt a bit vexed at that thought. Some part of him wanted to scream at them ' _Hey, I'm here too!_ ' but somehow he felt like he quite didn't remember how to scream anymore, which left him mildly frustrated and helpless as he listened to the distant voices in the dark.

Then, the voices stopped talking together, much to his disappointment – at least, the sounds had been a bit distractive. After a while, he started to hear one of them talking again, loud enough to annoy him but not enough for him to actually understand what it said. Or maybe his mind was just too numb to understand the words he heard, he wasn't quite sure – and couldn't bring himself to care, as a matter of fact. One thing was mildly puzzling him, though. If those voices weren't talking to each other anymore, why could he still hear one of them? Who was that voice talking to? Could it be talking to... him? But he didn't understand what it said. What if it was trying to tell him something important?

He forced his mind out of its peaceful numb state and tried to concentrate on this voice. But no matter how hard he focused on trying to understand the blurry words that reached his ears, he still couldn't understand what the voice was trying to tell him. Damn.

Then he tried to open his eyes to see where the voice was coming from. But his eyelids were so heavy they felt like they were glued together and refused to open up. He gave it another try, but failed once more. It was starting to annoy him: he was going to win over those stupid eyelids and show them who was the boss. On his third try, he finally succeeded to pull his eyelids open just a little bit, only to have his eyes meeting with a dazzling light and automatically, he pressed his eyelids shut again. Ahhh, damn that light... His eyes still burnt, even closed... Why was there so much light anyway? It should be a forbidden thing.

He felt suddenly tired. So tired... How could simply opening his eyes suck so much energy out of him? Maybe he wasn't ready to open them yet...? Then it would be wiser to wait. Yes, it could wait...

Just as he was about to give up and go back to a peaceful numbness, the voice reached his ears again. It was still a mere whisper in his fogged mind, but a whisper he finally understood.

"... Kakashi."

He had already heard that name before. Whose name was it again? Wait... It was his name. Right, his name was Kakashi. So the voice was calling him.

In a desperate attempt to see his interlocutor, he summoned all the strength he had left to open his eyes. They met with the same burning brightness again, but this time he did not give up. Slowly, he blinked away the pain and tried to focus his sight on something that wasn't painfully white. A very vague person outline gradually formed itself from the light; its features were too blurred for him to distinguish if it was a man or a woman yet, but he could tell that person was bending over him. The voice was getting louder and less distant and clearer with every second that passed.

"Kakashi. Can you hear me?"

The Copy nin blinked several times, trying to focus his eyes on the person in front of him. Slowly, the mist clouding his sight cleared up until he could clearly see who was speaking to him. It was a woman. She had blond hair, big hazel eyes and enormous breasts hanging in her green clothes. Somehow, there was something familiar about her. He _knew_ he knew who she was, but he couldn't remember at the moment. Strange.

"Kakashi. You are at the hospital," he heard the blonde woman say slowly and frowned. The hospital? Somehow, it didn't make sense to him right now. He felt exhausted and confused and nothing he saw or heard seemed to ring a bell. It must have shown on his face, because the woman sighed and gave him a small soothing smile.

"You need rest now. Go back to sleep," the jounin heard the blonde say. Obediently, he closed his tired eyes again, gladly surrendering to sleep.

"You look like shit."

The mission room was almost empty, containing only staff members and a few bored ninja who had nothing better to do than hang out there, waiting for something to happen. Shiranui Genma, true to his reputation, was one of them.

"Genma, get yourself a _life_ ," Iruka replied with exasperation to the older man, who had been bending over his desk and staring flatly at him for the past ten minutes, obviously bored out of his mind. "I'm perfectly fine, find somebody else to annoy."

"No, Genma's right. You do look horrible today Iruka-kun," a coworker added on a mildly concerned tone. "Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, really."

"Bullshit," the senbon user replied flatly, edging closer to the brown-haired chuunin. "Come on, what's up, Iruka- _kun_?"

Iruka sighed again, feeling annoyed by the whole situation. There was no way out of it and he knew it; Genma wouldn't leave him alone until he found the answer to his question - the man could be incredibly stubborn when he was bored. Bored jounins shouldn't exist, the brown-haired chuunin decided bitterly.

"I've been having trouble sleeping lately," Iruka answered tiredly. Which was true. Ever since he had found Hatake Kakashi's half-dead body in that dark alley three days ago, he hadn't had a good night of sleep, restlessly rolling over in his bed as he waited for sleep to finally take over him - only to end up having nightmares during those few stolen hours of sleep. And his sleep was not the only thing to be affected by it: ever since he had left the hospital, the chuunin had been preoccupied, unable to find peace and contentment in his quiet routine again. He had tried countless times to chase away his doubts and worries, but somehow that stupid Hatake Kakashi managed to linger on his mind, as tenacious as a cockroach. The chuunin wanted nothing more than forgetting about him already, kicking him out of his life once and for all, but for some mysterious reason he wasn't able to. Even lying down half-dead in a hospital bed, that damn jounin still managed to mess with Iruka's mind! Couldn't he just leave him alone for once?

"Sleeping problems, huh? Would it be that your dates are exhausting you?" Genma joked, winking suggestively at the flushing man. "Don't make that face; we all know about your reputation, _sensei_."

The chuunin frowned disapprovingly. "Now Genma, this is not something to joke about."

"But I'm dead serious! You're currently Konoha's most eligible bachelor. Everybody in town knows about your good match reputation - it would be hard not to, with half of the village's female population that are drawn to you like bees to honey. Hell, they line up to give their missions reports to you and only to you. And some of them are really hot babes too! You lucky bastard," the special jounin said playfully, toying with his senbon in his mouth.

"There's nothing to envy about my situation," Iruka sighed with mild bitterness and annoyance. "Those women aren't attracted to me; they just want to get themselves a nice, reliable husband. And apparently, I have it where it counts," he explained shortly.

"So what if they do?" Genma insisted. "You can still go out with them for a while, no?"

"That would be wrong. I couldn't go out with someone when I know that we aren't expecting the same thing from our relationship. I would feel like I'm cheating that person."

Genma stared at the chuunin, obviously surprised. Then he burst out laughing. "You're really too nice for your own good, you know that?" he said with a broad smile.

Frowning at the older man's mockery, Iruka faked interest in his paperwork and ignored the jounin. He was started to get fed up of all those teasing sessions he had to go through whenever he was caught in the same room as the honey-haired jounin – with unfortunately happened far too often for his taste since the mission room was well-known to be Shiranui Genma's favourite hang out place. Of course, that strange faculty the senbon user had to point out truths in such a casual and straightforward way did nothing to help the chuunin to appreciate his comrade's sense of humour.

Looking up from his paperwork to tell Genma to find somebody else to bother for what must have been the twentieth time, the chuunin froze as he caught a glimpse of the honey-haired man's expression. Instead of the mocking sneer he expected to find on the man's somewhat delicate features, he found himself staring at a strangely serious and contemplative Genma. The calculative edge to his brown eyes made Iruka's fingers twitch anxiously: it was never a good thing when you couldn't tell what that guy was planning to do. He had plenty of experience with it.

As on cue, the jounin's features turned into a warm, pleasant expression that had Iruka's anxious fingers almost recoil. Every mission room worker knew that expression for what it was; Shiranui Genma's fake 'I'm a nice honest guy, you can trust he' face. This couldn't be good.

"You know," the special jounin said with his most charming smile, "I think I never told you before, but I happen to have a little sister who-"

"Not you as well!" Iruka exploded indignantly. "Don't even think about it! I am NOT dating your sister, okay?" The mission room was filled with laughers and snickers at the chuunin's outburst and at Genma's disappointed pout.

"I think Iruka-sensei doesn't want to see you at family parties, Genma," Asuma laughed as he approached Iruka to hand in his latest mission report.

"Well that's quite understandable. I wouldn't want to have him for a brother-in-law myself," another ninja on the mission room staff added lightly.

"Hey, what it that supposed to mean?" Genma said on a mock insulted tone, making everyone in the mission room laugh, even the exasperated Iruka.

"What's going on here?"

They turned around to see the Hokage in person standing in the entrance, a curious smile on her lips. At once, the staff members regained their seriousness and went back to work - or at least they tried to look busy. The Godaime didn't like to see her people slacking off on duty and was well-known for it. True, she was a caring and sympathetic Hokage, but not one to mess with.

"Genma was trying to get his sister a date with Iruka-sensei, Hokage-sama," Asuma answered with an amused smirk, pointing Iruka with his thumb, who was trying to look busy with the man's report, hoping to go unnoticed. ' _Fat chance_ ', he told himself as he saw the Godaime walk toward him with an amused smile on her lips.

"Is that so? I heard about your reputation, Iruka-kun. You currently seem to be THE marriageable man in town," she teased the slightly blushing brown-haired chuunin, who wished he could duck and hide under his desk.

"I guess so, Hokage-sama" Iruka answered, uneasy.

"So. Have you found your soul mate yet?" the woman asked roughly, making the already nervous chuunin squirm uneasily.

"Erm... Well, no, not yet..." Iruka replied, his blush darkening. He couldn't believe that the Hokage, of all people, was asking him about his love life. And in the middle of the mission room too! How embarrassing. A quick glance at the rest of the room confirmed that everyone was now staring at him with unhidden interest and his cheeks suddenly got warmer.

"Really? But I heard you've met with a lot of fine kunoichi up to now. None of them was good enough for you?"

"No, that's not it. It's just that... that I..." the chuunin babbled, looking for words that would express feelings he didn't even understand in the first place. What was he supposed to tell them now? He didn't have a clue why he had turned down all those girls! But he couldn't admit it: that might insult the Hokage. Plus, Genma would probably never let him live it down.

"…I guess that I just haven't found the good one yet." He finally answered uneasily, gauging his superior's reaction to see if he'd made a blunter. His blood ran cold when the Godaime stared at him with barely hidden interest, a disturbing calculative look on her features that strangely reminded him of Genma's evaluating face minutes ago... She couldn't possibly be thinking about matching him with a woman she knew, couldn't she! Please, not the Hokage too!

Something must have shown on his face, because Tsunade suddenly burst out laughing. "Don't give me that scared face, I won't try to set you up with anyone!" she assured him, laughing. Iruka blinked blankly. How did she know he was thinking about that? Was his face _that_ expressive?

"Speaking of your face," the older woman continued, suddenly frowning, "What's up with you? You look like shit."

Iruka's shoulders fell at the older woman's words. It _really_ was not his day. He knew he should have stayed home and called in sick... It would have saved him a lot of trouble. The chuunin peered out of the corner of his eyes at Genma, who was smirking at him smugly, like the cat who drank the cream. Oh, the jounin would _never_ let him live it down...

"I'm fine, Hokage-sama," the brown-haired man tried to say lightly. "I've been having problems sleeping lately, that's all."

"Don't give me that crap," the Hokage answered him boldly, brushing his excuse aside with a dismissive wave of her hand. "What's wrong with you? Is something bothering you?"

The chuunin looked away nervously, inwardly curing the Godaime's sharpness and boldness. He knew pretty well he wasn't kidding anyone with his lack of sleep story, but he had hoped that people would get the hint and leave him be. True, he'd been suffering from insomnia for the past days, but there was no way in hell he'd ever admit to anyone that his insomnia was due to a certain silver-haired stalker... Hell, he didn't even want to admit it to himself. Although he tried to convince himself that he had nothing to reproach himself and that he shouldn't care for the silver-haired man's sake, he wasn't able to actually _feel_ that way. And that made him feel angry at himself.

Iruka's gaze went to his superior's hazel eyes, those eyes that could read so easily through his soul - and understand it better than he could, apparently. He sighed at the thought. There was no point trying to hide anything from the blond-haired ruler; she would find out what was tormenting him sooner or later – if she didn't already know, that is. Maybe she could give him a clue about what to feel - what to do.

"Actually, I've been wondering…" the chuunin said quietly, "do you have any news of..." his gaze went nervously to the other mission room occupants, "... our mutual acquaintance?"

The Hokage gave him a mildly surprised look. "Oh. I see."

With a slight frown on her deceitfully young features, she silently stared at Iruka and the academy teacher looked away, unable to withstand her piercing gaze. Great. Now she probably thought he was worried sick over Kakashi-sensei, he mused with bitterness. Just what he needed! Why did his plans always backfire at him like that?

"He just woke up this morning. I was there," the Hokage finally answered, getting Iruka's attention back at once. "He's still very weak, but he's going to be all right. The recovery will be long though: I don't expect him to be able to go back on the field again for at least three months. You should pay him a visit once, you know. You two still have issues to settle. Don't forget what I told you the other day at the hospital..."

Iruka frowned at the remembrance of the woman's advice, averting his gaze to the ground. Before he got the chance to reply anything, the Hokage turned around to look at the rest of the staff, which had been of course shamefully listening to their discussion the whole time. "What do you guys think you're doing? You're here to work, not to eavesdrop!" she barked at them. At once, they all went back to their mission reports, faking a sudden interest in their work. Then the woman eyed Genma, who was trying his best to look like he had a purpose to be there – and of course miserably failing at it.

"Genma, how come every time I drop by the mission room I see you hanging around? Don't you have anything better to do than disturbing my staff members?"

"Disturbing is a such strong word, Hokage-sama," the jounin joked. "I prefer saying that I brighten their day," Tsunade raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh really." The fat-breasted blonde took the first B-rank mission she could find in Iruka's neat sack of mission request and flatly handed it to Genma. "Such devotion. But the mission room must be a boring place for such an energetic young man as you. Here's something to get rid of your boredom."

No matter how hard he tried, Genma couldn't fight a grimace from twisting his delicate features as he quickly read the mission report details.

"… Infiltrating a hostess bar?" he asked with unhidden distaste and reluctance.

"Good occasion to dust up your crossdressing and theatrical skills, now isn't it?" the Godaime smiled evilly at him and few people could be heard sneering or coughing discreetly. The honey-haired man's face fell as the sannin took her leave, his distraught eyes staring at the mission request in a way that clearly indicated he would have preferred hunting down a missing nin. When the door closed behind the Godaime, Genma's gaze settled on Iruka, his eyes lighting up with a scary mischievous gleam. The chuunin gulped, feeling suddenly anxious at the way the man was looking at him – he knew what that look meant... As to confirm his fear, the jounin's lips stretched into the creepiest smile Umino Iruka had ever seen.

Oh God. He'd done it. He had made a bored Shiranui Genma _**curious**_.

He was done for.

"So who is it?"

"Who's who?" Iruka asked with faked nonchalance, pretending to be still busy with Asuma's report.

"The guy you're so worried over that you can't even sleep at night," the jounin replied in a singsong voice. "The guys you don't want US to know you're worried for. Why is that so, anyway? Anything we shouldn't know?"

"Because it's none of your business, that's why," Iruka replied coolly as he approved Asuma's mission report, determined not to look at the bandana-wearing man.

"I see... I guess I'll have to find out for myself, then."

Iruka looked up, frowning. "What?"

"You're surprised? What, did you expect I wouldn't try to discover that embarrassing little secret of yours after what I heard?" said Genma in a hungry tone. "You just make me more curious with that secretive attitude of yours!"

"But-!" Iruka wanted to protest, but he couldn't think of a good argument to make the jounin change his mind. It was not like the man would listen to him anyway – there was no reasoning to do with Genma when he was feeling mischievous. Why did it always happen to him? What couldn't those people just respect his private life dammit! That wasn't asking much, now wasn't it?

The senbon user flashed a playful smirk at the speechless chuunin and ignored Asuma's teasings as he left the mission room with his new mission. Iruka inwardly groaned. Great. Now he had Shiranui Genma on his case. That's what he needed, really. And he knew he man would _not_ drop the matter until he'd found out what it was all about _._ Damn…

The brown-haired man didn't care if people discovered he worried about Hatake Kakashi's health, but he knew Genma far too well to believe that he would be satisfied with a mere name. No, the honey-haired man was going to want to know _why_ , and that's what bothered Iruka. He didn't want people to find out it took him months to notice he was being stalked by a coworker – it was already hard enough to have people respecting his ninja skills as a chuunin school teacher, his reputation as a ninja would be done for if his lack of professionalism was made public.

"Now don't look so down Iruka-san," a coworker told him with a playful smile and the chuunin snorted.

"How can you say that? Now I've got Genma on my case.

"You had it coming, Iruka-kun," another shinobi told him playfully. "Everybody knows it's not the kind of stuff you should EVER say in front of Genma, especially when he's bored." Iruka groaned.

"Don't worry too much, Iruka-kun. You know how Genma-san is - he has the shortest interest lifespan of the whole village. He'll grow bored of that game of his before long."

"You know, there _is_ something you could do to convince him to forget about his little investigation project," Asuma said thoughtfully, joining their discussion.

"Really? What is it?" the brown-haired chuunin asked a bit hopefully.

"Date his sister." The mission room burst out into laugher.

Iruka was staring at his meal. It truly did look good, but somehow he didn't feel very hungry. Not with the awful day he just had... Sighing, the chuunin stored his untouched serving in the fridge, once again. He was tired, so tired of this restless state of mind...! It felt as if life has lost all its taste... No, he couldn't keep on living like that. He needed to evade this numb state, he needed to get rid of those doubts clouding his mind. Forget about everything. Or maybe think it all over again. He didn't know. But he knew he needed to move, to do something. So he decided to take a walk around the village, even if the weather was too cold for his taste. Maybe the coldness would shake him off of his numbness of mind and help him find some answers... With that hope in mind, Iruka put on his coat, winter shoes and a scarf and left his apartment.

Indeed, the evening was cold. Not bone-freezing cold, but it was cold nonetheless. Iruka shivered as he tucked his hands in his pockets and hid his face further in his white scarf. And so he went on. Wandering aimlessly, with no precise destination in mind, letting his feet guide him as they pleased. And he thought.

It was on that kind of weather that he had found Kakashi's body lying down in an alley, life slowly flowing away from him. When was it again? Three days ago? It felt like it happened weeks ago...

Hatake Kakashi... The man was such a mystery. A mystery that plagued his mind. What was he supposed to feel about that man? He didn't know anymore. He doubted he ever knew it to begin with. Even before, he had never known how to act around the jounin. So how was he supposed to know how to act now?

To make matters worse, the Hokage's words were still carved in his tortured mind. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to do with his humiliation? His guilt? His anger? His doubts...? Those doubts that kept him up at night, slowly driving him crazy?

One thing was sure; he didn't want to keep on living like that. She was right... They had to settle it. He had to find out what the jounin had really meant, even if he was to get hurt once again in the process. The chuunin hoped that he would be finally able to let go if he ever found the truth, whatever it might be.

Taking a big breath, Iruka looked up at the sky. The evening was still young, but the sky was already so dark... The moon was probably already up behind those thick layers of clouds. It was too bad he couldn't see it. He liked the soft light of the moon. It always soothed him…

As he looked down, Iruka realized with a start that his feet had led him to the hospital. He stared at the entrance doors 10 meters in front of him, surprised. Why was he there? He hadn't intended to... He had been so deep in thought about the silver-haired jounin that he unconsciously headed for the hospital – that's what probably happened. Silently, he stared at those doors. Those doors he had run into so hastily three days ago with Kakashi's half-dead body hanging limply in his arms...

" _You should pay him a visit once in a while, you know."_

Iruka shook his head, turning around to walk back home. But somehow, he didn't feel like returning home yet. He stopped on his track and gazed again at the hospital, hesitant. It was way past visiting hours. They would probably turn him down. Plus, there was no point visiting him, he was probably sleeping... On the other hand, the jounin wouldn't know he had come to see him if he was sleeping, and that had its good points.

He had to make up his mind: his feet were staring to feel numb in the coldness of the night. Sighing, Iruka turned around and walked toward the hospital, wondering what was wrong with him. He had spend the past days trying to forget about the masked jounin and now he was about to visit him at the hospital! This whole affair was affecting way more than it should have…

Iruka made his way to the hospital doors and opened them, warmth washing over his cool body at once. Iruka did not recognize the medic at the desk: she wasn't the one he rapidly met with when he took Kakashi there. Hesitantly, he approached the reception desk. What would he tell her? Somehow, he had the impression he was going to end up looking like a fool… He knew it was a stupid idea to start with.

"Hum, sorry to bother you," he started off, uneasy. "I guess it's too late, but I wanted to know if the hospital was still open for visitors..."

"I'm afraid you've come too late, indeed," she answered him in a sympathetic tone. Then, she took a second look at him and eyed him curiously. "Would you be Umino Iruka?"

"Huh? Ah... Yes, I am," Iruka gave her a surprised look. How did she find out his name? He hoped she was not _another_ suitor...!

The woman smiled brightly at him. "Hokage-sama warned us that you might come tonight."

"Oh," Iruka let out, embarrassed. So the Godaime had known all along he'd come... The old manipulative hag...! He felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment at the thought. She sure knew how to push the right buttons... Damn that old perceptive woman!

"Your friend's room is on the fourth floor, hallway A. Room number 53," the healer nin informed him with a smile, handing him a necklace with a blue card hanging from it. "Take good care of him."

Iruka took the visitor's necklace from her, thanked her shyly and set off for the stairs. He climbed to the fourth floor and then walked through the deserted and creepily silent corridors, feeling as if he was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. He felt especially uneasy when he ran across hospital staff members, who kept on giving him funny looks. When he finally reached Hatake Kakashi's room, the academy teacher felt reluctant to enter. He felt a little stupid to be visiting a _sleeping_ man he hardly knew and wasn't sure he cared for after visiting hours like that. It was the kind of thing only family members or lovers usually were allowed to do. But he told himself that it would be even stupider to back down now that he had already come so far...

Should he knock on the door before entering? What if he woke up Kakashi doing so? Waking the Copy nin was the last thing he wanted to do, but it would be rude to enter without knocking...

His musings were interrupted by a faint creak as the door opened, revealing yet another medic nin.

"You must be Umino Iruka?"

"Y-yes, I am," Iruka babbled, surprised. The ninja opened the door wider, silently inviting Iruka to come in. The brown-haired man shyly entered the white room, carefully avoiding to look at the sleeping jounin.

"I am sorry I surprised you," the nin excused himself quietly.

"Ah, it's nothing. I just didn't think there would be anyone watching over him."

"Those are Hokage-sama's orders. There must be someone with him all the time so that the second he wakes up, she would be informed," he answered him matter-of-factly.

Iruka nodded. Of course, that was to be expected. The Godaime was worried about what could have caused Kakashi's injuries. She would want to hear the information he had to give her as fast as possible. He should have thought about it.

"I will leave you alone with him. If he wakes up, please contact me as fast as possible. I will be waiting at the end of the corridor."

"I will. Thank you."

The man left, silently closing the door behind him. Then, Iruka's gaze finally settled on the sleeping jounin.

He was lying down in his hospital bed, most of his body hidden beneath thick, white blankets. Next to him was a plasma drip connected to his also highly bandaged right arm. The chuunin was surprised to notice that the man wasn't wearing his mask. Of course he couldn't, with all those bandages...

Kakashi's face... by the look of it, he seemed to be a rather handsome man. But it was hard to tell since it had obviously known better days: the left part of his face was all bandaged up, sparing only his left eye. The rest of his features were covered with scratches and bruises. In all, it looked quite nasty.

Feeling a bit guilty to be staring at the jounin's face when he the said man kept it hidden all the time, Iruka shifted his gaze to the rest of the room. It was a plain white room: a totally normal hospital room, he told himself. Yet he couldn't help but feel that there was something off in this room. It was too empty. If it wasn't for Kakashi's presence in his bed, one could think that nobody used this room. There were no personal items, no flowers, no get-well cards around. As if nobody had visited him yet. It felt... lonely. Cold.

Iruka noticed there was a wooden chair just beside Kakashi's bed. The nin watching over him probably sat there, he thought. A bit awkwardly, he removed his coat and scarf and silently sat down on the chair, just beside the jounin. Feeling bad about staring so plainly at the man's face, his eyes sought for his bandaged right hand.

Time passed by. Slowly. At some point, Iruka wondered how much time he had spent in there. Ten minutes? An hour? He couldn't even tell. The room was silent, except for the wounded jounin's slow breathing. Quiet. Too quiet, maybe. The brown-haired man felt a multitude of different feelings fighting in his chest as he stared down at that man's bandaged hand. Hatred, guilt, worry and doubt, so much doubt... But he couldn't get rid of any of them, as the jounin was obviously in no state to talk it over with him. So he stared at the man's hand, waiting for God only knew what. He felt a foolish for coming: obviously, there was no point visiting somebody who was sleeping. It had been a stupid idea to begin with.

As the chuunin's thoughts drifted toward his own warm bed, he heard noises in the hallway. There seemed to be a commotion somewhere in the A hallway. And it seemed to be coming his way.

"... It's a hospital, jounin-san! You CANNOT drop in after the visitor hours!" he heard the healer yell from the end of the corridor. Just then, somebody knocked open room number 53's door, dashing in.

"What the-?" Iruka turned around to see no other than Maito Gai, standing in the entrance of the room in all his green magnificence. "Gai-san? What are you doing here?"

"I came as soon as I heard about my dear rival Kakashi!" the exuberant man answered him with his usual enthusiasm. "I was away on a mission for the past days, I just have arrived here two hours ago!"

Behind Gai were standing three medic nins who did not seem to be in a good mood. Iruka thought quickly - Gai was Kakashi's friend, right? He had more rights to be there by his side than him. Before they decided to throw him out, Iruka spoke up.

"Ahh, don't worry, he's with me!" he lied awkwardly to them. They stared at him for a moment, obviously not buying it, but did not to argue and, warily returned to their occupations, grunting darkly to each other. Gai closed the door behind them.

"Iruka-sensei. Is it serious?" Gai asked in a serious voice once they were alone, moving closer to the silver-haired man's bed.

"I think so. Hokage-sama told me he would be out of the field for three months at least."

"I see..." the jounin said solemly. "Ahhh, how dramatic! I will have to wait three months before I can challenge my Eternal Rival again!" Gai then burst out dramatically. Iruka stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What? I thought you were worried about him because you were his friend," Iruka let out quietly, a bit taken aback. Gai stared at him, obviously surprised. Then he stared at the ceiling, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Friends? Kakashi and I are Rivals, and so we have been for the past fifteen years. But I don't think you could say we are friends per see. You see, my dear rival is not much of a social flower and does not make friends easily, unlike me," Gai answered simply as he carefully sat down on the silver-haired man's bed. Iruka stared at him, a weird expression on his features. When he saw the incredulous looks the chuunin was giving him, Gai explained himself.

"It is not that he is not a good person, it is just that my great rival Kakashi unfortunately is somewhat of a hermit, you could say. He actually has weird conceptions of social interactions, which does make befriending people more difficult for him. It is not something you could see right away, of course! Being the genius he is, he has found ways to hide his handicap. It took me ten years to realize it myself, and I am the Green beast of Konoha!" Gai burst out proudly. "I think Hokage-sama have noticed it, though. She is one perceptive woman! It is a great joy to have such a wonderful and energetic woman leading our marvellous village!"

"Social issues, you say...?"

"Yes. But you cannot blame him for it; Kakashi had a very troubling childhood," Gai answered him with a sorry tone - something very unusual coming from such a disturbingly positive man. "While I had to work hard to get as strong as I am, Kakashi was a genius from the start. It was hard for him, he had to grow up so fast... But with all my training and my intense work, I was able to surpass him! Out of 113 matches, I won 57!"

Gai was bragging about his power and his youthful spirit with enthusiasm again, but Iruka wasn't listening. He was thinking instead. Social issues? Could it mean...?

"Gai-sensei," the chuunin interrupted Gai in his rant. "By social issues, what do you mean? Does he has problem talking to people? Or does he... do unthinkable things without realizing he did something wrong?"

"Sometimes, he does. Most of the time, he acts like a normal person, though. But I'm glad to see that he finally found himself a kind-hearted friend like you, Iruka-sensei!"

"Friends? NO! No! I just..." Iruka burst out, looking for his words. "I just found him. On my way home."

"Oh! It figures... Too bad."

Then Gai and Iruka both remained silent, deep in thoughts. After a while, Gai sprand up again.

"I guess I will return home now! My bed is waiting for me! But not before a hundred push-ups and two hundred set ups! Training is the key of my youthful strength!" he flashed a smile at Iruka as he headed for the door. "I will try to come back again to see my rival so he doesn't feel too lonely! And I'll use this occasion to talk to him about our next competition! Good-bye, Iruka-sensei! It was really nice of you to have come here to visit Kakashi!" Gai gave him his brightest smile and left the hospital room.

After his departure, the room became quiet again. The quietness after the storm, the chuunin thought. Absent-mindedly, Iruka had noticed that Gai had used the word "weird" to describe Kakashi-san. How ironic to hear something like that out of Gai's mouth - Gai, of all people. He snorted at the thought.

Social issues... So that was it. Kakashi hadn't been lying at all from the start... He just hadn't known better, as incredible as it sounded. But then it meant that _he_ had been wrong and had judged the man far too harshly. Frowning, the academy teacher felt guilt stir in him. It was after they had had that discussion where he misunderstood the jounin's strange explanations and punched him that Kakashi decided to take that mission…

In a kind of twisted way, it was his fault if the jounin was laying half-dead in that bed, covered in so many bandages that one could barely see his face.

Staring at the bandaged hand, the chuunin mused on how guilt was far worse than the doubts had been…


	7. The Hokage's Brilliant Idea

There were so many of them…! Which ones to choose? He sure didn't know. Hell, he didn't know why he was here to begin with! He sighed, rubbing absent-mindedly his neck.

"What are you looking for, Iruka-sensei?" a young blond woman asked him curiously from behind the sale counter. There was a familiar air about her somehow... Oh, yes, he remembered. Yamanaka Ino. He had taught her a few years back, she had been in Naruto's class, if he was not mistaken. Time passed by so fast...

"Hn, actually, I don't even know myself," Iruka explained with a sloppy smile, scratching the bridge of his nose nervously. "There are so many species here... I'm afraid I'm a bit lost in all these flowers...!"

"I take it that you don't buy flowers often then! Who's the lucky girl, Iruka-sensei?" the blonde asked him, her big blue eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"Heh? Oh! No, no, it's nothing like that!" the man hurried to explain to the obviously disappointed girl. "I'd like to buy flowers for... somebody who's been hospitalized."

"Oh, I see. You're looking for something that will express your attachment and wish your friend a rapid recovery, isn't it?"

"Erm... No, not exactly. We're not... well... Hn, I just want something to brighten up his room a bit," Iruka explained hesitantly.

"Is that so? Then you'd be better off with colourful flowers. Do you want any help to choose them?"

"Ah, thank you but I'd prefer looking around on my own..."

The blond teenager nodded and went back to the book she had been reading before. Iruka was glad she had left him alone: he had never enjoyed being followed around by a seller when he was purchasing something - he always ended up feeling guilty if he didn't buy anything. On the other hand, he felt totally at a loss in front of all those rows of flowers... Maybe he should have accepted her help, after all...

She had said colourful flowers, heh? He looked at the vividly pink lilies in front of him and inwardly winced. Those were colourful enough... But somehow it seemed wrong to give a man pink flowers. Same thing for purple... Blue did not seem bright enough and red was _totally_ out of the question, he thought as he rapidly passed in front of a bunch of crimson roses. He didn't want Kakashi to imagine he had gotten himself an admirer or anything! He just wanted to brighten a bit his lonesome and gloomy room. Maybe he could buy him something orange or yellow. Yes, yellow sounded good. So he looked for yellow flowers.

Ten minutes later, Iruka was leaving the flower shop with a small and simple bouquet of lively yellow flowers. It wasn't the most beautiful one, nor did it smell particularly good, but it was a nice little bouquet nonetheless. It was a bright Sunday afternoon and, he had to admit, the weather was rather nice for winter. Iruka could feel the soft heat of the sun on his tanned face, warming him from the cool air outside. It felt nice. It was the kind of day you wake up on thinking that nothing wrong could happen to you.

Iruka took a big breath, bracing himself, and made his way to the hospital to visit one sick jounin. It had been three days since his first visit and he had come back to check on Hatake Kakashi twice since then. He didn't know exactly why, it surely wasn't because he cared for the other man or enjoyed his company - he kept sleeping the whole time. Maybe it was because he felt guilty about his previous behaviour toward the jounini. Maybe. Or maybe it was just because he secretly wished the man would wake up so he could finally apologize to him and be able to go back to his life and stop feeling guilty about what he'd said. Namely, he wanted to clean his conscience. To be able to inwardly hate the man for what he made him go through without feeling remorse about it anymore. He had prepared himself for it and he knew what he would tell the silver-haired man when that discussion would occur. He learned it by heart. He even tried to think of every reaction Kakashi-sensei could have and what he could possibly reply to him. But, knowing the jounin, Iruka was sure he would find a way to astonish him anyway, no matter how mentally prepared he was.

The brown-haired man entered the hospital and was greeted by the middle-aged healer nin watching the entrance.

"Ah, Iruka-san. You have come to see Hatake-sama again? And you even brought him flowers? How nice of you," she told him with a pleased smile.

"Thank you, but I'm not sure he's able to fully appreciate it in the state he's in," Iruka joked half-heartedly.

"Oh, you don't know? Hatake-sama woke up yesterday night." Iruka felt his heart tighten painfully in his chest.

"R-really?"

"I heard so. The Hokage said he would need a lot of rest though. If you're lucky, he may be awake right now."

"Oh... That would be great," Iruka replied with a forced smile as he headed for the jounin's room silently. To tell the truth, he did not think it was such a great thing at all. No, he didn't. He had thought himself ready to confront Kakashi when he woke up, but now that the fateful moment was about to take place... he felt anxious. So anxious that his throat felt dry and his chest painfully tight. He told himself it was stupid to get so upset over it - all he had to do was to apologize for punching him and leave. It wasn't a big deal. Just apologize and leave. And he couldn't care less about what that weirdo thought or said afterward. He would have apologized and that's all that mattered. Yes, that's all that mattered...

All too soon, Iruka arrived in front of the jounin's room. He stood there, staring at the door a bit anxiously. Would Kakashi-sensei be awake? Hesitantly, he tried to sense the chakra waves in the room to see if he was awake or not.

The brown-haired man was surprised to discover that the jounin was alone in the room. Wasn't someone supposed to watch over him...? But of course it made sense: if he woke up yesterday, the Hokage came and probably got all the information she needed out of the wounded nin by then. So there was no point watching over him anymore. For some reason, Iruka felt a bit sad for the jounin.

Iruka focused on Kakashi's chakra flow. It was very perturbed, but the rhythm seemed to be one of an alert man. So he was awake... Iruka sighed, resting his forehead on the wooden door. Stupid heart that kept on pounding so hard in his chest...! He had no reason to be nervous, he just had to apologize and take his leave... Besides, he had already come too far to possibly back down now. As an afterthought, the chuunin gazed at the eye-burning yellow flower bouquet he was holding in his hands and he grimaced. He hadn't intended to let Kakashi know he bought him a bouquet in the first place. He just wanted to leave it there anonymously while he was sleeping so the jounin wouldn't feel too lonely in his empty room when he woke up, but it seemed fate had wanted otherwise... Damn. Why did he even buy him that stupid bouquet to start with? He hoped Kakashi wouldn't imagine he cared or something...

Bracing himself, Iruka softly knocked on the door.

Hn? What-?

He could feel sunlight pouring over his face, burning his closed eyes through heavy eyelids. What? Why was that light disturbing him again? He felt so tired, he just wished he could sleep in his bed some more... Just one hour or two... The brats would have to wait just a little bit more for him...

Wait. Was he really in his bed? His bed didn't smell like that... The bed he was lying on had a strangely familiar but not pleasant scent... He knew that neutral smell far too well... It was the hospital's.

Then it all came back to him. He relaxed a little in his white bed, sighing. Back at the hospital again, huh? That was just his luck... Well to say the truth, he had it coming this time. Kakashi tried is best to forget Tsunade's harsh words when he previously gave her his mission report, but they kept on coming fast and thick to his still sleepy mind. Of course, she had been right: it had been careless and unprofessional of him to try carrying out that mission in both his physical and mental state. He had been reckless, exhausted and unfocused... More unfocused than anything else, in fact. And he knew it. If his mind hadn't been elsewhere, he surely enough wouldn't have fallen for those missing nins' trap. To think that he almost lost his life to a handful of jounin-ranked missing nins, what a shame... That wasn't like him at all. At least he successfully killed them all, but the state he came back in spoke a lot... Before he felt asleep, he vaguely remembered Tsunade telling him something about blown up chakra channels...

Blown chakra channels... He really did push himself too far this time. To think that if it hadn't been for Iruka-sensei passing by, he would be dead...

Iruka-sensei. That name brought a lot of mixed feelings to his pained mind and heart. He could feel his chest clench painfully at the thought of their last encounter... The hurt look in his eyes, the bitterness of his voice... He remembered them far too well.

It was his fault. He was the one who upset the plain, normal sensei so much with his twisted ideas and his clumsy and tactless words. Kakashi swallowed painfully. Why was he feeling do upset over the whole thing? Why did he care so much about what Umino Iruka thought of him? He had already hurt people's feelings before, he had already been yelled at before, but it had never affected him so much. Maybe it was because Iruka was such a good and caring person... He did not deserve to have his life perturbed by a social havoc like him, after everything that he'd done for the village... But somehow, this chain of thought didn't seem to ease his tortured mind: on the contrary, he only felt guiltier.

He did not understand why his plan had backfired at him so badly. He had tried to be truthful with the chuunin. He had thought back then that Iruka deserved that much. That he would want to hear the truth and not some sloppy lies. That it was the right thing to do. He did what he thought was the right thing to do... right? Right?

Just then, a soft knocking on the door startled him. Healer nins usually didn't knock before entering. Who could that be? Whoever that might be, he didn't feel like seeing anybody right now. He wanted to be left alone. Especially since he didn't have his mask on and didn't even have the strength to pull the blanket over his wounded face to cover it. He felt naked and weak and didn't want anybody to see him in that state.

Kakashi remained silent, hoping to be left alone. The visitor behind the door knocked softly again.

"Kakashi-sensei? Can I come in?"

Kakashi felt his chest tighten: it was Umino Iruka's voice! At once, he started panicking. Iruka-sensei, standing outside the door? That couldn't be! _It couldn't_! He was really the last person he wanted to see right now... He wasn't even sure he could look him in the eyes...! Oh, of all people, why _him!_?

But before Kakashi's chain of thoughts could go any further, he heard the door creek open. At once, without even thinking, he closed his eyes and faked being asleep. He stayed still and tried to slow down his agitated pulse to give the man the impression he was truly sleeping. A small voice in the silver-haired man's head was telling him he was a coward, but he couldn't care less. He desperately didn't want to have to confront the chuunin again. Not so soon. Not before he figured out why he had messed up so miserably the last time – one mess was enough, and he didn't want to accidently hurt the man again.

At the doorway, the chuunin remained silent, obviously staring at the bed-ridden man. To the jounin's utter disappointment, Umino Iruka did not turn around and leave as the man expected him to. Kakashi heard him close the door behind him silently and felt something sink lower inside of him. Then, he heard Iruka's footsteps crossing the room toward the window. There was a soft rustling sound, then the chuunin slowly walked around his bed and sat on the wooden chair beside his bed that the guard had used to watch over him. Silence ensued.

...Surely enough, the chuunin wouldn't wait for him to wake up, would he? That was bad... Kakashi could feel his skin princkle under the other man's intense gaze, utterly uncomfortable and humiliated to be seen in such an embarrassing position - and by Iruka-sensei, of all people. It made him feel even weaker and helpless. He wanted to hide, hide under those stinky white blankets and never come out again. Never let the chuunin's eyes wander on him again... bear the sight of him again...

Kakashi didn't understand what the man was doing there. Why would he want to see him anyway? He made it quite clear he hated his guts after what he'd done-

"Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi's heart skipped a few beats when he heard his name out of the brown-haired man's mouth - it was a miracle he managed not to let it show. After a few seconds of silence, he heard Iruka sigh.

"Do you intend to fake sleeping like that for a long time?" the chuunun asked him flatly, a tad of exasperation in his voice.

Kakashi felt his heart tighten painfully in his bandaged chest. Damn. Why did it have to happen to him? Now he would have to confront the chuunin... and he wasn't ready for it. He doubted he would ever be, in fact, but still, the prostect of talking with the academy teacher again was unnerving... His heart was pounding like mad and his throat raw with nervousness. He didn't know what to tell him: he didn't want to hurt the poor man again. If only he could keep on faking sleeping... But it wasn't like he had the choice anymore. Unwillingly, he opened his mismatched eyes to stare at the ceilling, carefully avoiding the younger man's eyes.

"Was I so obvious?" the jounin asked quietly on his usual unconcerned tone, his nervousness well-hidden behind his usual mask of nonchalance. Iruka didn't answer. The room was oddly silent for a moment, as both men seemed reluctant to speak up.

"Thank you for saving me," Kakashi said quietly after a while, not exactly knowing what to say - or even what reaction he was hoping for as he said those few words. Somehow, his words of gratitude didn't provoke any kind of reaction from the visitor, who remained silent once again.

A tense, uneasy silence soon installed itself between them, making the silver-haired man feel even more awkward. Was he supposed to say something else? But he couldn't think of anything to say - or at least, nothing intelligent... After what seemed like an eternity to Kakashi, the academy teacher broke the silence, finally speaking up quietly but on a firm tone.

"I wanted to apologize for hitting you the other day," the jounin heard Iruka say. His head sprang toward Iruka's face, surprise written on his bandaged features. What? Iruka-sensei was _apologizing_ to him? Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be frustrated here? Wide-eyed, the jounin stared at the chuunin's face, trying to figure out what his unexpected attitude held. Iruka's head was slightly turned away from him, his dark eyes firmly set on the jounin's bandaged right hand, staring at it as if they couldn't truly see it. Strangely enough, the chuunin's face was blank, devoid of expression, which was highly uncharacteristic of him. He had learned at least that much in all those months of spying...

"I understand that you have some..." the brown-haired man continued, choosing carefully his words, "unique social conceptions and that you probably didn't intend to insult me. I was under the impression you were making fun of me and I now realize my actions were not... appropriate," There was an awkward pause, Iruka's eyes still resting on Kakashi's hand. "But don't get me wrong: I still haven't forgiven you for stalking me. I just wanted to clarify it."

The jounin blinked blankly. Oh. Figures. That was to be expected. But somehow, Kakashi couldn't help but feel his heart sink even lower at those words. In the end, Iruka still hated him and he had wanted him to know about it.

"... I see," he answered quietly, setting his gaze back to the ceilling. And the uneasy silence came back. The chuunin had said what he had to say and was about to leave him alone again. Not that he minded - having the brown-haired man so close to him only reminded him how much he loathed himself for hurting the nice and caring man. He was happy the academy teacher was leaving; he would be able to go back to brooding over his mistakes alone once again...

But Iruka wasn't leaving.

...Why wasn't he leaving already? There was nothing else to add. Why wouldn't he leave him alone to brood in peace?

But Iruka wouldn't leave. Was he waiting for Kakashi to add something? Was he even supposed to have anything to answer back to this? Did he say something wrong or what? But he nearely didn't say anything at all...! What was he expected to do? He wished he had a clue what was going on in the academy teacher's head at the moment...

They both jumped when they heard someone snickering quietly at them. Kakashi turned his eyes toward the entrance of the room to see a smirking Tsunade leaning on the doorframe, an indescribable flame burning in her cunning hazel eyes - she was giving him _that_ look again. As if she understood something he didn't. And, Kakashi thought ironically, she probably did - she always did. Damn perceptive old woman...

"Hokage-sama!" Iruka cried, as surprised as him by the woman's presence.

"You guys sure make a strange sight together. Why the funeral ambiance? Are you mourning or what?" she asked lightly, walking in. There was a very short awkward silence and Iruka looked away, obviously uneasy.

"Maa, we're in a hospital," the jounin explained lazily, only too happy to be a little distracted from the other's man presence. The blond woman approached him.

"How are you feeling, Kakashi?"

"Fine."

Of course he was fine, he was so doped up he couldn't even feel his limbs anymore. Who wouldn't be? Just then, Iruka got up and bowed stiffly at the Hokage.

"You probably have important things you need to discuss with Kakashi-sensei, Hokage-sama. I will-"

"Oh, by all means, stay Iruka," she cut him off. "I wouldn't want you to shorten your visit for me. I just dropped by because I hadn't had the occasion to discuss Kakashi's treatment with him yesterday night."

Iruka sat back hesitantly, a light disappointement showing on his tanned face. Tsunade's eyes shifted to the jounin.

"As I was telling you before you fell asleep on me yesterday," -there was a small pause for good mesure- "you overworked your chakra reserves and blew up three major chakra channels. You also had a few serious injuries, but we took care of them and they will be totally healed within a few days. Unfortunately, things won't work out so easily with your channels," she added reproachfully. Kakashi felt mildly indignant at her tone: as if he screwed them up on purpose!

"There's no way even for me to fix your channels. All we can do is to wait for them to heal naturally. But we'll use everything at our disposal to insure the healing process works out fine. More importantly, you'll have to rest a lot if you want them to mend properly," she continued on a strict tone. "Of course, all chakra use is absolutely PROHIBITED until then. FORBIDDEN! Have I made myself clear, Kakashi?" the blonde woman asked authoritatively.

"I'm not deaf," the jounin sighed. It would be a very, very painful stay at the hospital...

"Don't joke around with this, Kakashi!" Tsunade scolded him. "If your channels don't mend properly, it'll affect your chakra flow and you might not be able to use chakra for the rest of your life."

"I know."

That answer met with a serious silence. "Good. You'll stay bed-ridden until they are mended. You will be given a medication specially made by me that will facilitate the natural mending of your chakra channels. The downside of that medication is that it will paralyze most of your body muscles. You might be able to move a bit your head and your facial features if you're lucky enough, though. Anyhow, you'll have to stay here at the hospital for the whole duration of the treatment; you may return home afterward."

"How long will that treatment last?" Kakashi inquired at once.

"At least 20 days." The jounin seemed perturbed. He shifted in his bed, obviously trying to sit up.

"No way in hell I'm-!"

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice," the Godaime cut off him sternly, pushing him back on his bed.

"But!" he looked away from Iruka, ashamed of the words that were already forming themselves in his raw throat. "You know I can't stand this place...! I'm NOT going to stay here for three fucking weeks!" he argued heatedly.

"Oh, believe me, you will," she replied sternly, almost daring the younger man to say otherwise. "I know you have issues with hospitals, but you should have thought about this before launching yourself into that stupid mission, kiddo. You know that if there was any other way around it, I'd more than gladly bend to your request-" she stopped on her train of thought, suddenly thinking about something. Whatever it was, it couldn't be any good for him because her lips were twisting themselves in a disturbingly evil smile, her eyes gleaming with a cleverness he had long learned to dread. No, that couldn't be good... Not good at all...

"Now that you mention it, I think I could grant you your request," she smiled evilly at him. Kakashi was already starting to regret having asked her anything to begin with. "Iruka!" she shouted as she sprang around toward the silent man, who gave a start on his chair. "You'll be in charge of watching over Kakashi until he can return home."

There was a stunned pause, then...

"WHAT?" both men shouted at the smug-looking Hokage, utterly astounded, eyes popping out of their sockets. No way! S-she must have been joking, right? She wasn't serious! She couldn't be serious...! She was pulling a joke on them, she couldn't possibly want to...!

"H-Hokage-sama, you can't be serious...!" the brunette said weakly, voicing out Kakashi's thoughts, his complexion suddenly much paler than usual.

"Why, yes I am," she replied with a smirk. Iruka gulped. Kakashi, on the other hand, could only gape at her, totally thrown away by her decision.

"Hokage-sama, I-I'm sure there are people more suited for such a task than I am..."

"Probably. But I asked _you_ to do it."

"But-"

"No 'buts' Iruka," Tsunade shot him back strictly. "Those are my final words."

"You can't-" the jounin managed to say hoarsely.

"Please reconsider this, Hokage-sama-"

"Stop whining already," she brushed off their complaints severely. "I gave you an order, Iruka. As for you Kakashi, I want to remind you that you're the one who insisted to be sent out of the hospital."

Kakashi could only stare helplessly at her, too stunned to even think something to answer back, his naked mouth open ajar. Of course he had wanted to be removed from the hospital, but he hadn't...! He never wanted things to turn out like that! She couldn't be serious! It-it must have been some kind of twisted nightmare, it couldn't be possible! This couldn't be happening!

"But..." Iruka started off weakly, his voice shaking ever so slightly, "I have other responsibilities...!"

"Which will be taken care of by someone else," the woman replied simply to him. "The winter holidays start in five days. I'll have another chuunin finishing the term with your class until then." Iruka could only gape at her helplessly like a fish out of the water.

"Hokage-sama..." Kakashi managed to choke out, a silent plead in his desperate voice. She sighed heavily.

"Are you grown men or what? Don't tell me you can't put aside your differences for a couple of days?" Her question was rewarded by an awkward silence, both men looking away, knowing only too well she was right.

"You see? This is exactly why I decided to set you up together in the beginning," she explained to them. "So you could work out your little misunderstanding. You need to-"

"Little misunderstanding? You call it a 'little misunderstanding'?" Iruka said crossly. "He stalked me for _months_ -"

"Umino Iruka." Tsunade warned him. "You are not a child, you are a ninja. And I can't accept, as the leader of this ninja village, to have such tension between my soldiers. Moreover... You, who have Naruto's best interest at heart, should understand more than anybody else why you need to keep a good relationship with Kakashi."

Iruka looked down at the floor, his jaw and fists clenched so hard that it hurt and swallowed down the bile he had been about to spit at her. Kakashi gulped nervously at the frustration the other man was radiating, some part of him wondering why the floor wasn't burning under such intense gaze.

"You will be taking care of Kakashi as you have been asked to," The Hokage ordered him in a slow and powerful voice. "Have I made myself clear, Iruka?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the other man whispered calmly, his gaze never leaving the ground.

"Very well. You can take your leave now. I will contact you tomorrow to give you further information about your mission."

Iruka didn't need to be told twice: he turned on his heels and left the room in a hurry, not saying a single word. The room felt strangely empty and silent after his departure, leaving Kakashi staring blankly at the door he had last seen the man walk through. Kakashi let out a shaky breath. That was a real nightmare! Minutes ago, he had been scared by the mere thought of facing the chuunin, and now he would have to be under his care... For _weeks_? Oh, what had he done to deserve something like that? How could Tsunade do that to him...? How could she do that to _them._..?

"Why 'd'you do that...?" he muttered helplessly, his voice shaking with emotions he didn't understand.

"Kakashi, believe me; I have your best interest at heart."

"Then _why_...? You know what happened. You know he _hates_ me..." the wounded jounin whispered miserably.

"It's not that simple, Kakashi," she sighed. "He's got his pride. Give him some time," she turned her hazel eyes to his mismatched face, a small apologetic smile appearing on her suddenly tired features. "This discussion must have exhausted you, Kakashi. You should rest now."

Slowly, the Godaime made her way to the door. As she was about to exit the room, she paused at the threshold and looked back at the window mysteriously.

"Besides, I'm sure he doesn't hate you as much as he lets on." And, without another word, she left and closed the door behind her.

Kakashi was left alone in the sun-bathed white room, dreadful thoughts swirling lazily in his head, already apprehending the days that were to come. His heart ached at the very idea. Umino Iruka and him, caught together in the same house for nearly three weeks… Seconds passed by painfully slowly as his tormented mind could not find rest in the prospect of what was awaiting him. Twenty days with Iruka... He could already see the coldness in his eyes, hear the bitterness in his voice, and feel the harshness and the repulsion of his forced touch on his skin... The Hokage was wrong for once; Iruka truly did hate him, he knew it...

He stared at the window, gazing at the clear blue sky scoffing at him. How could the weather be so nice on such a miserable day? It almost felt insulting to see the sun shine with such strength when his world was slowly collapsing...

That was when a spot of yellow caught his eyes.

Yellow flowers.


	8. Of Yellow Flowers and Blue Curtains

Kakashi couldn't quite believe he had already left the hospital. Some part of him didn't want to admit it, as if thinking he was still in that stinky white-sheeted bed would bring him back there. To think he actually wished he was still stuck in that place... How ironical. Because under normal circumstances, he would have been thrilled to be able to leave early - really, he couldn't stand the whole atmosphere the hospital radiated; it brought back too many painful memories of missions gone wrong and lost comrades.

So being out of the hospital was a good thing, right? Right. Yet, his joice was overshadowed by his anxiousness at the prospect of being forced to spend the following three weeks or so with _him_.

Kakashi's heart ached just at the thought of the brown-haired man. The hatred he had seen in those brown eyes had plagued his mind night and day, making him feel even more anxious and miserable as the moment of his hospital leave had grown nearer. Before he even knew it, three days had passed by and he had been unceremoniously transfered to Iruka's house by half a dozen healer nins one afternoon. And now there he was, lying in the man's guest room bed and staring blankly at the sun-bathed ceiling, musing about the irony of the whole affair. Not too far away, he could feel Iruka's familiar presence, the chuunin brooding darkly in his silent small kitchen.

Iruka... The ex-anbu sighed heavily. He truly didn't want to upset the chuunin more than he already had, but in their current situation... It couldn't be helped. Iruka had been forced by the obviously plotting Hokage into becoming his personal nurse until his chakra channels mended - which meant around twenty long, painful days. And surely enough, that decision wasn't pleasing the brown-haired man one bit.

Oh, it wasn't like Kakashi was happy about it himself. Ever since Iruka had found out about his self-imposed mission, the Sharigan user hadn't been himself, his mind plagued by shame and guilt at the mere thought of the brown-eyed man. He couldn't exactly explain why the chuunin's hurt feelings affected him so much, but he knew the other man's presence was making him uneasy. Being around him in those conditions wasn't pleasing him much. But the truth was he cared more for the academy teacher's well-being than he cared about his own hurt pride and discomfort. If at least he could just _remove_ himself from Iruka's sight and let him be, the poor man would be able to hate him in peace and go on with his normal and slightly boring life. But they both had no such luck. The Hokage herself had made sure of it.

On top of it, it was humiliating for him to be taken care of by Umino Iruka, of all people... For having been bed-ridden many times, Kakashi was fully aware of all the implications it meant. It meant that for twenty days or so, he would be _totally_ dependent of the chuunin and would need his help to accomplish every everyday life task, even the most belittling ones, like going to the toilet, changing clothes, eating and washing himself. The prospect of having the younger man breaking so... blatantly into his privacy was making him very uneasy, to put it mildly. He didn't want the chuunin to see that side of him, and even if it made no sense even to him, he would have preferred to be taken care of by a total stranger than by the brown-haired man.

Nevertheless, Kakashi kept on telling himself he had no reason to complain, since the only one who was in right to complain was the poor Iruka: he had to house and nurse a man he despised for almost three weeks. One could understand his frustration.

The more he thought about it, the more Kakashi was convinced the Hokage had a plan for the two of them... And he didn't like it one bit. He didn't like being forced into situations he couldn't control; he was the great Sharigan Kakashi, he was used to be ahead of everything. There was no situation his skills or his brain couldn't free him of. But in this kind of situation, he was both physically and mentally helpless, at the mercy of a brown-haired chuunin who hated him and a Hokage who obviously had some unwanted and probably evil surprise in store for him. As if it wasn't bad enough to deal with the guilt of having upset so much the kind and caring academy teacher...

The Copy nin sighed silently and let his gaze wander to the rest of the small room. He guessed that if his situation hadn't stunk as much, it could have been a nice room, but he was far too depressed about his situation to see anything under a bright light at the moment. Hell, he was a human pile of goo lying helplessly on Iruka's blue sheets, not even able to scratch by himself the tip of his nose that had been itching for the past five minutes. Not without Iruka's assistance, anyway. Oh _God_ , why did life enjoy so much making him feel so miserable?

From the corner of his eyes, he could get a glimpse of encouragment, maybe. A glimpse of yellow. The Copy nin vaguely remebered Tsunade insisting on having someone bringing them along with him when he had been moved earlier that day.

He did not quite understand why the chuunin had given them to him. Really, he was supposed to hate him, so why would he buy him _flowers_? Weren't people giving flowers to the ones they care about...? But honestly, who else could have given those to him? He wasn't aware of anybody else visiting him except for the Hokage and Team seven, neither of which had reasons to wait for him to be asleep to give him get-well gifts.

The elite jounin had never been offered flowers before... Kakashi knew he should not get his hopes up with this, but he couldn't help feeling a bit... moved by the man's gesture. He knew it was silly; it was only a bunch of flashy reproductive organs. But somehow those flowers he would have probably found annoying under normal circumstances now cheered him up a little bit. Such a shame Tsunade's medecine was so effective that he couldn't even move his neck to get a better view of them. At least, he could still talk rather normally - the old woman's tricks never stopped to impress him.

Just beside Iruka's eye-burning yellow flowers stood something that was much less rejoicing: on each end of the window frame were held deep blue curtains. It seemed the chuunin had recently installed curtains like those on every window of his small apartment. Those reminded Kakashi with each second that passed by how _unwelcome_ he was...

On the brighter side, Iruka didn't have to worry about being spied on for the time being; his stalker wasn't even able to scratch his own nose.

As the wounded jounin was musing darkly on his miserable condition, he heard a soft knocking on the guest room door. Not waiting for the nin's answer, Iruka opened the door and stood silently on the threshold. From the corner of his eyes, Kakashi could see the man's steady silhouette as silence stretched by, tension palpable in the small room.

After a while, the chuunin spoke up in what seemed to be a controled and somewhat resigned voice.

"I talked with the Godaime," Iruka started off quietly, "About your treatment. She showed me what I needed to know... I daresay she also infomed you about it."

Kakashi nodded slowly and kept on staring at the ceilling silently, feeling uneasy with the whole discussion. When he realized the older man wouldn't add anything else, Iruka continued on the same quiet voice.

"Don't hesitate to call for me if you need anything - whatever hour it might be. I'll be in the room right next to yours," There was a short pause. "We're eating at 6 o'clock. I'll come back by then."

At those words, Iruka turned around and silently closed the door behind him. The Sharigan user remained still on his bed, staring at the darkening ceilling dumbly. Somehow, Iruka's apparent resignation and determination to hide his resentment toward him only made the Copy nin feel more uncomfortable. The Godaime had told him the other day to give Iruka some time... But no matter how hard Kakashi wanted to believe it, he couldn't help thinking the nin would never pardon him for what he'd done. And he didn't blame him for it either, but it troubled him nonetheless. It upset and depressed him to know _he_ was the object of Iruka's infortune... Iruka was such a nice guy toward everyone! Knowing that he resented him was upsetting… It hurt. The Copy nin had never truly minded to be hated before and found that notion strangely irrational. But it was not like he could control these feelings anyway. Hey, another thing he had lost control upon... Cheers.

Minutes passed by painfully slowly as the room grew darker. After a while, Kakashi was standing in complete darkess, sorrowful thoughts keeping him awake. Although he could not see those blue curtains anymore, he could still feel their presence and it bothered him. They reminded him too much of his true place...

He was unwanted here.

From afar, he could hear noises coming from Iruka's kitchen. The soft hissing of the boiling water was sometimes coming with the sound of vegetables being cut or Iruka's distracted mumbling. Kakashi felt like trespassing by entering this house he had spied on for so long. It felt... wrong. So wrong to see it from the _inside_. To hear Iruka mumbling as he tried to follow the recipe correctly. To smell the chuunin's lingering scent that filled the whole apartment...

He realized he knew this house by heart, from its shamefully small bathroom to its tidy rooms and clean kitchen - but it was the first time he truly entered it. And it felt so wrong that for the first time, he thought he got a glimpse of the reason why stalking Umino Iruka had been such a bad idea.

The man's chakra waves seemed to have settled down a bit. Iruka closed his book, sighing to himself. _Finally_ , he had fallen asleep. It was about time dammit... what hour could it be? Two? Three in the morning? The chuunin yawned, rubbing his burning eyes with the back of his hand. The Hokage had told him he would probably fall asleep like a baby since he still needed much sleep, but somehow the wounded jounin had managed to stay awake most of the night anyway. Well, that was probably because it was his first night over to his place; it was probably making him a bit nervous.

 _You bet he's nervous_ , some part of his mind snarled as he got up to wash his teeth. _He's at my mercy in that situation._ Iruka frowned, mentally reprimanding himself for feeling smug at the thought of a weak and helpless Copy nin. He wished he could say he was not so petty as to think of their situation as a little like a revenge for him, but he was. Even so, he felt a bit ashamed to experience mild satisfaction whenever he looked at the motionless and helpless jounin. And even more when he dared to imagine how it would be _easy_ for him to take his revenge upon the jounin... Even thought he would have liked to be able to say that his mind was clear of evil thoughts and machinations, he had to admit many plots to make Kakashi's life a real hell had crossed his mind during the day. Of course, he would never _deliberately_ harm or humiliate the Sharigan user; he was _beyond_ that. He was mature and, moreover, he had been given a mission. In his position, such wicked thoughts were not even appropriate. He had to take care of the jounin and he would. And he was quite sure the Hokage's orders did not include putting itching powder on his clothes.

...Alas, he sometimes regretted his prankster days.

But even though it gave him some guilty satisfaction, Kakashi's miserable situation was not pleasing him. When the Hokage had explained him what his task was, he soon found out the jounin was totally dependant of him, and for everything. And Iruka had to admit he was not very comfortable with hand-feeding the wounded nin... And even less with helping him to go to the toilet, of all things...!

And although he despised Hatake Kakashi, the brown-haired man couldn't help but realize the whole situation was not enjoyable for the other man either - sure enough, if he himself was not comfortable with nursing the jounin, Kakashi was probably downright humiliated by the whole situation. And Iruka could understand him, to some point. He even sometimes felt pity toward the older man - but it never lasted long, his resentment taking over him most of the time. _Serves him right_ , he mentally commented on his own chain of thoughts as he half-heartedly brushed his teeth.

Twenty days… Twenty days of hell. And during the Holidays, too. The Godaime must have something against him. Or maybe she found the whole thing amusing, which was not beyond her. Fortunately, Kakash's presence would not disturb anybody, since he was living alone and was not expecting any guests for the Holidays. He would probably spend Christmas and the New Year Eve alone, once again. That thought depressed him a bit as he remembered he didn't have family anymore, nor real close friends, to spend those events with.

Well… This year he would not be alone. There would be Kakashi, he thought bitterly, snorting to himself. What a way to start the new year…


	9. Resentment and stubborness

"This is the last time I repeat it," the brown-haired man let out slowly between clenched teeth as his razor blade slowly made his way across the man's left cheek, "Stop grimacing like that and stay still-"

" **OUTCH!** "

"I told you to stay still!"

Iruka frowned, trying to remain calm as he rapidly wiped the blood off the older man's cheek. Damn, why did the jounin always have to complicate everything? It was already tiring enough for _both_ of them to go through this everyday, he didn't need to make it worse! How could he be so uncooperative? With Tsunade's medicine preventing him from moving, moreover? It was such a pain...!

It had already been three days since the jounin had been moved to Iruka's small apartment. And so far, Iruka could not say that Kakashi had been very cooperative; quite the opposite. He constantly refused to ask for the brown-haired man's help and when the academy teacher took care of him, he was rarely doing efforts to make his job easier. It was particularly painful to shave the man, since he kept on grimacing upon feeling Iruka's bare hands on his usually covered face, something he was obviously not at ease with. In fact, Iruka had noticed since the first day that the whole 'touching' thing seemed to disturb the Copy nin a lot - if his body muscles wouldn't be numb because of the Hokage's medicine, the chuunin was sure Kakashi would twitch every time he touched him and it annoyed him somehow. It was not like _he_ was pleased himself to have to shave the jounin, hand-feed him and help him to go to the _toilet_ anyway! The jounin didn't have to make it worse by looking disturbed by the whole thing!

It took a while for Iruka to understand that it was not the fact of being taken care of that made him grimace like that; his reluctance was caused by some kind of uneasiness Hatake Kakashi had with human contact. He came to that conclusion when he noticed the jounin got nervous not only when Iruka took care of him, but also when he stood to close to him or when he was watching unclothed areas of his body too closely – when Iruka had had to remove the man's last bandages, for example. Some would have said he was only prudish, but Iruka knew from the way he almost winced at being touched that it was probably more complex than that. With the man, it seemed to be always the case, the brown-haired chuunin thought wearily. It was his luck really, to be forced to take care of a man who had issues with human contact... Not that he minded much, but the way Kakashi reacted everytime he needed to enter his personal space was starting to annoy him. It wasn't like he was enjoying it anyway, he could stop making such a big deal out of it...! But even as he told himself that, he knew he was being unfair and irrational. It was not the Sharigan user's fault if he had such a problem, after all...

And Iruka guessed the whole situation itself only made things worse for Kakashi. A man had his pride and, given the situation, it was understandable that Kakashi wanted to preserve the little dignity he still had left. Under those circumstances and with what he had discovered about the man, Iruka understood that it was only natural for the Copy nin to _sometimes_ unconsciously fight back Iruka's flagrant invasion in his privacy.

But it was frustrating nonetheless.

On the whole, Iruka had to admit living with Hatake Kakashi hadn't been _too_ bad. And that by no means meant that it had been pleasant. Far from it. But it was not too bad either. Of course, taking care of the jounin was tiring and, most of the time, somewhat frustrating. But overall, the jounin had been surprisingly reserved so far. And, to his own surprise, Iruka had not snapped at the older man even once and had managed to keep his temper under control during those first three days. On the other hand, he had to admit the silver-haired man seemed to make extra efforts not to arise Iruka's anger, which probably helped a lot. When the jounin wasn't sleeping, he barely talked and spent most of his days staring at the ceiling blankly. While Iruka was quite sure it was the most boring way to spend a day, he did not complain because it meant he could take care of the man with minimal verbal exchanges. The chuunin guessed Kakashi didn't want to impose himself too much on him and was grateful for that; he did not want to have some stupid fight with the jounin, since the atmosphere between them was already... tense, at the very least.

And if Kakashi wanted to keep on staring at the ceiling all day long until he'd go crazy, Iruka wasn't going to stop him.

While he was washing the man's face to clear out the last traces of shaving cream, Iruka's mind wandered to his students, who were currently having their last day of class before the Holidays. How he wished he could be scolding them right now - because he knew very well that there was no point trying to teach them anything on the last day before the winter Holidays, they were far too excited to stay still. To some point, he felt a bit bad for the poor chuunin who had been asked to substitute for him, but he guessed it couldn't be helped. Ff he could, he'd switch positions with the unlucky chuunin and take care of the kids anytime anyway. _Anytime._

When he was done washing the Copy nin's face, Iruka got to his feet and told the jounin he was coming back with his breakfast in a few minutes. Kakashi nodded faintly, his eyes set back on the ceiling and the brown-haired man went to the kitchen, where he started to prepare the man's breakfast quietly. Tsunade had given him a few suggestions of meals that could help the jounin to recover faster and Iruka followed those suggestions heartily, hoping to get rid of the Sharigan user as soon as possible. Even if it meant forcing him to drink cranberry juice three times a day.

A few minutes later, he came back to the guest room with a tray of food in his hands. In a resigned way, he put one arm around the jounin's waist and the other on his shoulder and lifted him carefully, helping the reluctant silver-haired man into a sitting position. The ambiance in the room was strangely tense as Iruka shifted Kakashi's pillows into a more comfortable position and settled the tray on top of the man's tights, both of them knowing what was coming. Then, silently, Iruka started to feed the jounin.

The Copy nin didn't complain – he never complained. But you could see in his lifeless eyes how degrading he thought it was to have another man forcing a spoonful of groats into his mouth repeatedly and, if he hadn't despised the man so much, Iruka _might_ have pitied him.

After they were done with the groats, Iruka mopped Kakashi's mouth up and presented him an orange quarter that the man chewed dully, his eyes gazing blankly at the wall in a resigned way. For the following minutes, Iruka helped the man to eat his orange, the tense silence only broken by the chewing sounds coming from the man's mouth. When he was done, Iruka took the glass of cranberry juice and brought it to Kakashi's mouth. At the sight of the reddish liquid, the Copy nin grimaced slightly and Iruka could only guess he didn't enjoy much the cranberry mixture, but he couldn't care less about the man's tastes. If cranberry juice could help him to leave sooner, then he would drink cranberry juice, like it or not. Kakashi seemed to have understood his host's chain of thoughts because he didn't voice out his aversion for Iruka's choice of beverage and drank it docilely. When they were done, Iruka put the empty glass on the tray, sponged up again Kakashi's mouth and put his mask back on place – the jounin seemed to feel more at ease with it on and the chuunin didn't have the heart to deprive him of this little comfort.

Then Iruka left the room silently and went back to the kitchen, letting out a sight of relief as he put the tray on the counter. He was glad it was over; having to face the jounin like that always put him on the edge, even thought he wished it wouldn't. It annoyed him more than he cared to admit; he felt betrayed by his own body for feeling tense around the man all the time like that. Afterall, **HE** wasn't the one who should be feeling tense. He had apologized already, hadn't he? He'd done his part. It was stupid of him to feel uneasy like that around the jounin. Really stupid. At the thought, Iruka sighed bitterly, suddenly feeling angry with himself for caring in the first place.

Sometimes he wished he could be able to ignore him. To show him how he couldn't care less about him, how he _despised_ him. To be superbly distant and cold toward him and show him, show him that he was just a piece of _trash_ that didn't even _deserve_ his attention. Yet everytime he longed for that coldness that wasn't his, he felt shameful for having such immature, revengeful thoughts. It wasn't like him to act so childishly, to wish to hurt someone else's pride purposely. But even though he tried to convince himself he didn't truly want to hurt the other man's feelings, he couldn't help but feel extremely smug at the thought of showing the Copy nin he didn't give a damn about him...

Iruka sighed once again with frustration, not exactly knowing if he was frustrated at the Sharigan user for confusing him or at himself for those treacherous and shameful feelings. Who was he kidding anyway? It was obvious he still had issues with Kakashi-sensei, there was no point trying to deny it. Issues he knew he would have to deal with alone this time... No Godaime to tell him which way to choose anymore. He sighed tiredly at the thought. Somehow, he doubted all that bitterness would ever go away...

As he was about to start washing the dishes, somebody knocked on the door. Recognizing at once his visitor's chakra signature, a ghost of a smile appeared on Iruka's lips. At once, he put down his towel and made him way to open the door to his favorite ex-student. The blond teen greeted him with his usual contagious cheerfulness, a broad smile on.

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei!"

"Hi Naruto," the chuunin greeted back with something close to his usual perk, motioning Naruto inside his small apartment. "What brings you here today?"

"Why? Do I need a reason to come and visit my favourite teacher?" the teen asked in a mock-indignant voice as he walked inside the apartment and removed his sandals. The chuunin raised an amused eyebrow at him and Naruto pouted a little. "Okay, I wanted to make sure you were fine since I've heard you've been on sickness leave for the past few days," Naruto explained rapidly, his hands up in the air in a defensive way. "But it comes down to the same thing, doesn't it?"

The chuunin let out an amused sigh, smiling at the cuteness of the young man's concern. "Pretty much," he concurred as he messed up the blonde's hair fondly. Naruto pouted at him and tried vainly to tame back his spiky hair to its usual mess and Iruka felt a wave of nostalgia hit him; to think that young, powerful man used to be just a child only a few years ago... Now, Naruto was nearly as tall as him and he didn't look anything like a boy anymore – if it was not for his still a bit boyish grins he sometimes flashed at him, remains of a bygone era, the chuunin mused sadly. Naruto was a man now... And he couldn't help but notice how he had grown to look just like the Fourth, although Iruka had never met the man.

"But you don't look sick to me," Naruto hazarded as he gave his ex-teacher a closer look.

"No, I'm not sick at all," the chuunin admitted as he motioned the young man toward the living room.

"Then why taking a sick leave?"

The chuunin was about to answer, but then he hesitated. What exactly did Naruto know about Kakashi-sensei's situation? The Hokage had probably warned Team 7 their team leader was hospitalized... But if she hadn't, she probably had a good reason not to, so Iruka didn't want to tell Naruto too much about his teacher's situation and whereabouts. Instead, he oriented the conversation toward another subject with the ease of someone who had spent years trying to distract armed children from destroying public property and cause random chaos.

"But why are YOU here? Aren't you supposed to be training with Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked on a fake amused voice, watching closely for the young man's reaction. At those words, Naruto grimaced, then hesitated a bit.

"Well... Obaa-san told us she didn't want too many people knowing, but I guess it's alright to tell you... Kakashi-sensei got injured on a mission. Badly."

"Really?" Iruka asked mildly. "What happened?"

"Well, she wouldn't tell us but from what I understood he's going to live through it. Although she said he wouldn't be able to go on a mission for three whole months," at those words, Naruto pouted sadly. "She said she would get us another team leader soon, but before she finds one she set us up with Gai-sensei's team. _Gai-sensei!_ She was off her rockets on that one! I swear, the guy's a real nut-case! He's really creepy with his speeches about _youth_ and _vigor_! Hell, I'm even having _nightmares_ about him and his speeches! Last night I dreamed I was wearing Lee's green spandex suit and his orange leg-warmers and Gai-sensei was telling me to eat down the whole forest because trees would keep me strong and youthful! It was horrible - Tenten told me we'd get used to it soon, but I don't think I will. Neither will Sakura and Sasuke - Sasuke even started _twitching_ at the end of the first day," he stressed, making it all too obvious he thought Sasuke twitching was worth at least a 9.5 on 10 on a disturbing scale.

"Don't judge Gai-sama so harshly," he mildly scolded the teen. "Maito Gai is one of Konoha's finest nin."

"Oh, I don't doubt his skills or his competence – the guy's a real beast! - I'm just doubting his mental health," Naruto gave him a foxy, boyish grin. "I never thought I'd say that but I can't wait to have Kakashi-sensei back! We went to the hospital to, you know, cheer him up a bit, but he really didn't look like his usual self. Anyway, the old hag-" out of reflex, Iruka whacked his ex-student behind the head.

"-the _Hokage-_ threw us out – she said that we were too loud and that we were disturbing her patients! Really, can you believe that?" the teen asked indignantly and Iruka honestly could, although he didn't admit it to his ex-pupil.

"Anyway, we sneaked back into the hospital a few days later and guess what? Kakashi-sensei was gone! We went to ask the ol- the _**Hokage**_ where she had put him, but then she threw a fit at us because we sneaked back in the hospital - she was so pissed she wouldn't even tell us where they had moved him to," Naruto finally said on a mildly indignant tone and Iruka inwardly smiled, amused by the somewhat predictable story - trust something like that to happen to Team seven. Then the chuunin suddenly felt a bit uneasy; after what he's heard, he didn't know exactly how he was supposed to tell the blond teen his teacher was in his guest room and probably had heard their whole discussion. But he couldn't give it more thought because his ex-pupil soon started speaking again.

"Speaking of which, have you talked to Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked in his best casual voice, but somehow Iruka couldn't help thinking there was a hint of something else in his voice. Like concern. For a moment, the academy teacher stared at him, not knowing exactly what that question was about. He was about to ask the teen what he meant when he suddenly remembered the discussion he had had with the blonde two weeks ago, when his ex-student had discovered he had issues with the Copy nin and had advised him to talk his problems over with the silver-haired man. The chuunin tensed at the realization of what the teen meant to talk about; it was _not_ the moment to talk his issues with the silver-haired man so casually - the said man was only a few meters away, listening to the whole thing! But of course, Naruto had no clue. "Would you like a cup of tea? Or maybe-"

"Don't change the subject," Naruto cut him reproachfully. "I'm not stupid, I know there's something wrong going on. You should seriously talk it over with him, he's not a bad person, he's just a bit weird-"

" _Naruto_ -" Iruka tried to cut him, half-scolding, half-pleading.

"I'm sure if you'd talk it over with him-"

"I'd appreciate it if you could stop talking like I'm not there."

The jounin's lazy voice startled both of them. At once, Naruto's eyes widened in a very amusing way and before Iruka could say anything, the teen was already dashing to the guest room. Iruka sighed and followed him a bit warily, not knowing exactly if he was supposed to be glad or disgruntled by the man's interruption. Sure enough, it had efficiently shut Naruto up, but now the whole situation seemed even more awkward to the brown-haired chuunin.

When he reached Kakashi's room, he found Naruto standing at the doorway, gaping at his teacher. Lying on the bed, the Copy nin bore his trademark unconcerned expression.

"And I'll let you know that I'm not weird, I'm _original_ ," the man added for good measure, his eye curving happily at the blond teen, who gaped some more at him. After a moment, Naruto finally seemed to overcome the initial shock and raised his forefinger at him in an accusing way.

"What the hell are YOU doing here!" he burst out indignantly, as if he considered lying on his ex-teacher's guest room bed should be a crime punishable by law. The jounin didn't answer, he merely looked bored again. Naruto's eyes jerked madly toward Iruka, then back on the silver-haired man to finally return to gaze at his ex-teacher's scarred face in a puzzled way.

"What is HE doing here?" he asked the brown-haired man, confusion and indignation marred on his face. Iruka massaged his temple tiredly, wondering what he had done to deserve all those things happening to him...

"The Hokage asked me to take care of Kakashi-sensei until he's able to return home," he explained quietly to the gaping teen, his eyes avoiding the said man. "Sorry I didn't tell you at once."

Naruto stared at him dumbly, then his eyes moved repeatedly from one man to the other, a mildly worried look on his slightly boyish face. Then he turned his head toward Iruka and gave him a cautious glance.

"You... you haven't done anything bad to him, have you?" the blonde whispered slowly, giving his ex-teacher an evaluating look.

"Naruto!" Iruka roared indignantly, highly insulted. What did he think he was, a seven year old! He wasn't that immature! How could he even _suggest_ he could go as far as to get his revenge out of a wounded man he had been asked by the Godaime to take care of? Of course, the idea had crossed his mind once or twice - or maybe a bit more - but he would _**never**_ act upon it!

"Okay, okay," the teen said defensively, "I just wanted to make sure, no need to get all pissed about it!"

Turning toward the bed-ridden man, Naruto's face lit up with a smile and he burst out happily, telling the jounin loudly how he had been looking for him in the past days, even though the silver-haired man had obviously already heard the story minutes ago. Iruka relaxed slightly at the predictable reaction, the usual flood of words somehow reassuring him. But the academy teacher wasn't listening to what the blonde was babbling about, thinking over what had just happened instead. As annoyed as he was at the blond for thinking so lowly of him, the chuunin also felt a bit guilty; true, he hadn't been _mean_ with the silver-haired man, but one couldn't say he had been nice either.

"… then Sakura beat the hell out of Lee for implying Sasuke loved her less than him and Sasuke managed to escape," Naruto finally said, laughing happily. "To think Lee was complimenting her too! Sakura should definitely date him; he's the only guy I know who's crazy enough to get beaten up by her frequently and still try to convince her to go out with him - speaking of which," the blond teen's head sprang toward the tanned chuunin and the man's attention went back to his ex-student at once. "You know what? People started asking _me_ to get a date for them with you! Crazy, heh? There was even that girl who was all friendly with me yesterday, talking to me like I was her future son or something and buying me ramen… Can you imagine that?" Naruto teased his ex-teacher, laughing heartily.

At those words, Iruka frowned; he felt mildly indignant that someone had dared sinking so low as to try to use Naruto to get closer to him. "Naruto, that's not funny…"

"Yeah, I know; you should have seen Sasuke's reaction when he heard her," the ramen-lover sobered up at the mere memory, "He was so _pissed_ , it was scary... I've hardly even seen him so mad before."

An easy silence ensued, none of the three men willing to try to find something else to say next; the image of an angry Sasuke was strong enough that none of them felt the need to comment on it. But soon enough, that silence started to make Iruka tense for an unexplainable reason; the whole situation felt wrong somehow. Naruto and him, standing there in total silence... with the Copy nin a few feet away from them... It was wrong. Iruka wanted to to break the awkward silence, but he had no idea what to say. Naruto seemed to sense the tension in the room too, because he started to eye his teachers a bit nervously.

"So, huh... Have you talked your issues over?" the blond teen finally asked them and Iruka twitched nervously, inwardly feeling both annoyed and angry with his ex-pupil. And he had thought it couldn't get any worse...! Damn that Naruto and his curiousness... Why did he have to bring up that subject again? Couldn't he see that he was uneasy with it? That he didn't want to talk about it - especially not with Kakashi around...!

"Naruto-" he began warningly, but the jounin cut him.

"Yes, we have."

Iruka's eyes widened at the jounin's answer and his eyes found the wounded man on their own; the silver-haired man was looking at his student neutrally, carefully avoiding the chuunin's eyes. What was he saying? Was he trying make the blonde shut up and drop the subject already or was he attempting to cover him up? Or maybe he seriously thought they had; it's true that they talked about what had happened twice already - when Kakashi apologized and at the hospital. But Iruka hardly thought those discussions were alike to what Naruto had in mind; what the teen implied was to sit down and share deeper thoughts and feelings freely together, something Iruka had never done with the Copy nin and didn't think he would be able to do any time soon. He had problems figuring out how he felt toward the man and most of the time was both frustrated and ashamed of the thoughts that crossed his mind; sharing them with the jounin was out of question. Naruto also seemed a bit surprised by the man's unexpected reply.

"Really? But... You don't seem to have settled anything to me."

"It's not everything that can be solved by talking things over, Naruto," Iruka replied softly, fully thinking what he was saying. Naruto stared at them quietly, frowning. A tense silence ensued, the two man staring at opposite directions a bit awkwardly. Nobody knew what to add; in fact, there was nothing else to say.

"Ah, I know!" the blond teen burst out all of a sudden, startling the two men. "We should have a Christmas party!"

Kakashi and Iruka stared at him as if he had just grown a second head.

"Yeah, you know, together," Naruto explained joyfully, "Team seven and you guys! I'm sure it'll cheer you up!"

Iruka grimaced when he cached up to what Naruto had meant, not truly convinced. Having a Christmas party? With Kakashi-sensei? Somehow that didn't sound like a good idea to him... Cross that out, it WASN'T a good idea. But before he could even voice out his objection, Naruto had started talking again.

"Oh, come _on_! It's gonna be fun!" the teen pleaded loudly. "Besides, I bet you don't want to spend Christmas alone _**together**_ , right? Right? It's settled, then! I've gotta tell Sakura, she'll be thrilled - and I'll find a way to convince Sasuke to come too, it's gonna be awesome-"

Naruto rambled on for a few minutes, obviously excited at the prospect of throwing a small party at his ex-teacher's place. Iruka wanted to object but he didn't have the heart to put an end to Naruto's joy. At any rate, he knew he didn't even have the choice anymore, seeing how Naruto seemed determined to throw a Christmas party in his living room. Anyway, he guessed that it wouldn't be _too_ bad - Naruto had a point; spending Christmas alone with the Sharigan user wasn't something he was looking forward to. But it didn't mean he was up for a _party_ either... The chuunin inwardly sighed at the thought. But then again, it was not like he had the choice anymore...

When Naruto started talking about how they could make a real Christmas tree pass through his door, Iruka tried to see things in a positive way; at least, spending some time with the blonde would probably cheer him up. And it's been a while since the last time he had a word with Sasuke and Sakura, he'd have the occasion to talk with his ex-students. Hopefully, Christmas wouldn't be too painful...

At least, he wouldn't be alone this year for Christmas this year.


	10. Denial

Iruka was slowly eating his diner in his silent kitchen, munching on his steamed broccoli dully. The major disadvantage of having to cook for a sick person, Iruka decided, was that you also had to eat the same thing as them. Unless you wanted to go through the trouble of cooking yourself something else, which was NOT Iruka's case. Sure enough, the chuunin didn't _hate_ cooking, but it didn't mean he was going to start cooking two different menus everyday. So he ate his broccoli in a resigned way, occasionally poking it with his fork with dislike. Sighing, the academy teacher tried to see the brighter side of his new diet; at least he was going to stay healthy eating all those servings of vegetables everyday. Eyeing the offensive cup of nutriment-added Godaime-recommended red jello mocking him a few inches away, Iruka snorted ironically. Now _that_ was something to look forward to. Steamed broccoli and _strawberry jello_. His taste buds were skipping at the mere thought.

At any rate, he guessed Hatake Kakashi wouldn't miss too much the hospital food that way. That thought brought a bitter smile to his lips.

Kakashi... Iruka shook his head and tried to focus his attention back to the shockingly red dessert in from of him, but he knew it was futile. He had avoided thinking about it for a while now, but he knew he wouldn't be able to tonight.

He had noticed it a few days ago and had at once tried to push it in the back of his mind. He didn't know why he had tried to ignore it; maybe it was because some utopian part of him hoped that if he forgot about it, he wouldn't have to do something about it. But who was he kidding? He KNEW he needed to do something about it. He had known it perfectly well since the start but had simply prefered not thinking about it. Promising himself that he would take care of it later. Always putting it off, refusing amadantly to just accept it... But somehow as the days passed by, he couldn't help thinking more and more about it, even though he didn't want to. When he had fed the jounin half an hour ago, he had been forced to stop denying it to himself and had reluctantly acknowledged the fact that he really had to do something about it soon.

Because the Copy nin needed a bath. _Badly._

Iruka sighed at the thought, feeling the beginning of a headache forming itself at the prospect of what giving the silver-haired man a bath implied. Undressing, hand-washing, drying and dressing up the jounin was, by all means, NOT something he was looking forward to, especially considering the jounin's troublesome issues with human contact. He had desperately tried to put off the unavoidable washing session, but he couldn't pretend being in denial about Kakashi's obvious lack of physical hygiene anymore - the mere odor the jounin emited didn't allow him to indulge in that kind of luxury. When was the last time the man had been given a bath anyway? Obviously it had already been a while when they released him from the hospital...

Tonight, Iruka suddenly decided. He was going to bathe Kakashi tonight. Get over with it now before the odor got any worse. Besides, it couldn't be healthy for him to be so dirty, right? So he was in fact doing him a _favour_ by washing him... Yep, he was definitely doing him a favour. It was for his _own_ good. But somehow he was sure the Copy nin wouldn't see it under that light. Knowing him, he was probably going to panic and be in denial about the whole matter althogether. There was a small chance that he would just remain emotionless and accept it passively, like he had been doing for the past few days, but Iruka doubted he was going to have such luck tonight. But he couldn't bear a grudge against him for refusing to acknowledge the fact that he needed a bath, as he himself had been pretty much in denial about it only a few minutes ago.

Not feeling up to eating anymore at the prospect of his self-imposed mission, Iruka eyed disdainfully his cold broccoli and offending cup of jello. Sighing heavilly, he gave up on the Hokage-approved menu, got up and unceremoniously threw away the remains of his diner in the dustbin - not without some satisfaction, he had to admit. Then the chuunin stood silently in his empty kitchen, playing nervously with his hands as he stared absent-mindedly at the kitchen sink. He needed to do it, didn't he...? Then he'd do it now. Before he could give it a second thought and back down. Better getting over it as soon as possible, Iruka repeated himself. Yes, that sounded like a good plan... Besides, he was probably overreacting; washing a wounded man couldn't be that bad, couldn't it? He'd had kids throwing up on him. He'd had a 3 foot-long weapon stuck in his back. He even had already been flirted by a lusty Anko once - he'd known worst. Really. Bathing Hatake Kakashi wasn't that much of a big deal.

Nevertheless, he was going to do it right away before he could change his mind.

Bracing himself for what he knew was coming, Umino Iruka walked resolutely toward the guest room. Inside the room, the man's chakra flow indicated that the Copy nin was still awake. Good, he wouldn't have to wake him up. Iruka tried to ignore the part of himself that felt disappointed the man wasn't asleep, his ultimate escape door vanishing into thin air in front of him. Mentally wacking himself for those treasherous thoughts, the brown-haired man resolutely entered the small room, turning on the lights quietly.

The jounin was lying on his back exactly in the same position he had left him half an hour ago, his single gray eye gazing blankly at the ceiling, his exposed face - he never slept with his mask on - not showing any indication that he had noticed his caretaker's presence. Iruka stared at the jounin wordlessly, suddenly feeling tense and hesitant.

How was he supposed to tell the jounin he had decided to bathe him - and, more importantly, to convince him that he needed a bath? Maybe he could try to bring up the subject subtly so that he wouldn't freak out the wounded man too much... But he doubted that would work, considering they never really talked to each other – surely some attempt at small talk would tip off the jounin on the spot. At any rate, starting any kind of discussion was _not_ an option for the academy teacher anyway; he had been doing his best to avoid talking to the silver-haired man in the past few days, he wasn't going to start being friendly now. No, the best solution was probably to go straight to the point. Getting over with it fast, remaining calm and intransigent to clearly show him HE was the one in control and that protesting was _not_ an option. Like he usually did with his misbehaving students. Yes, he'd handle the whole matter as if he was dealing with one of his students. Afterall, he wasn't going to go out of his way for Kakashi's sake. No sir.

Inwardly bracing himself, the chuunin quietly called out the man. "Kakashi-sensei."

Iruka had spoken on a deliberately low tone, the one that was vastly known by the student population and a few nins working at the mission desk as an omen of imminent DOOM. Obvioulsy, Kakashi had sensed the danger as well, as his uncovered eye shifted rapidly from the ceiling to him, vague anticipation now showing on his face. Somehow, Iruka couldn't fight back some satisfaction at getting the man's attention so quickly.

"You need to take a bath," the chuunin announced on the same soft but autoritarian voice, staring straight into the silver-haired man's uncovered eye. Like he had expected him to, he didn't take the news well. As soon as the words were out of Iruka's mouth, the jounin's gray eye widened and his face froze in a way that, he was sure, would have been highly comical under other circumstances.

"I don't need to," he blurted out at once defensively.

"Yes you do," Iruka pressed on on the same stern, dangerous voice.

"Really, I don't, I'm fine."

"Yes, you do."

" _No,_ I _don't."_

Iruka closed his eyes and groaned with annoyment. He had expected this kind of reaction, yet he couldn't help feeling ridiculous to argue over it so... _childishly_. He felt like he was dealing with a six year-old. Ironically, it was the kind of discussion that usually took place with six year-olds too. He had intended to remain calm and collected no matter what, but somehow the jounin's immature attitude was already starting to thin his patience and his resolution.

"You mean you don't _want_ to," Iruka corrected him boldly, anger already building inside of him. The Copy nin opened his mouth to protest but nothing came out of it - obviously, he couldn't find anything to say to that. So he closed it and looked away uneasily, frowning slightly.

"Please don't make it more complicated than it already is," the academy teacher added sternly to the nearly-sulking man. "It's not like I'm all happy about it either; I'd rather skip that part of the contract if I could. But it's not like you'll magically be all clean overnight and, let's face it, you're filthy, Kakashi-sensei. _Fil-thy_. You need a bath and I'm giving you one, want it or not."

At the mention of the imminent bathing session, the jounin blanched, panic easily readable on his pale features. When he spoke, his voice was suddenly unusually rash.

"I told you, I don't need-"

"Kakashi-"

"Not necessary-"

"Kakashi-sensei, you're being irration-"

"There's no need to-"

"Don't deny it, you know you need-"

"I'm fine! It's not-"

"Stop pretending you don't need it!" Iruka's growled loudly, suddenly feeling something snapping inside of him. "You know perfectly well you do! Admit it, you're just scared of it!"

" _No, I'm_ _not_! I just - I don't need-"

"Enough already! Be a man, Kakashi-sensei! Admit it, you're just SCARED-"

" _FINE!_ I'm scared! I don't want to! Happy now!" the jounin suddenly shouted, his face twisted with a mix of fear, anger and embarrassment. As soon as the outburst came, the Copy nin's eye widened in shock, as if he couldn't believe those words had been his - or even that he had screamed to start with. The realization of it was like a slap in the face for both men, who pulled themselves together at once.

The chuunin hadn't even realized how his voice had grown steadily louder and more vicious with each sentence they exchanged and felt shameful for his appailing lack of control. He couldn't believe he had snapped so easily! The jounin seemed to be having a similar chain of thoughts; he looked away swiftly, obviously regreting his words.

"I'm sorry," the silver-haired man whispered, "I didn't intend to yell..."

"It's okay, I understand," the academy teacher half-heartedly mumbled back after a while. And he did. Ever since the jounin had been brought to his apartment, there had been constant tension between them. Even though he had tried to convince himself that he would be able to remain calm and collected out of sheer determination, he had known all along that all that tension was ought to result in another fight sooner or later. He had known all that bitterness and anger he still felt toward the man would not - could not - be repressed infinitely. It was unavoidable afterall - there were so many things he still wanted to say to the jounin. And even more things he wanted to forget...

He had been harsh with the Copy nin, he knew it. There was no need to start attacking him like that. It wasn't like him to shout and provoke people like that to prove his point, it wasn't like him at all. He just... got carried away. And now he felt a bit shameful for his offensive words - they were true of course, but there was no need to confront the Sharigan user about it so roughly. Especially since he knew the jounin had issues about physical contact and was obviously panicking. But more than anything else, it was the fact that he had lost his composture that annoyed him the most. He had wished to avoid humiliating himself again in front of the jounin and his previous blatant lack of control hurt his pride more than he cared to admit. Damn it, why couldn't he act rationally around the silver-haired man? What was it that always made him so impulsive when the Copy nin was around?

Somehow, Kakashi's outburst didn't offence the academy teacher much. He knew it was strange, but... The man had been so silent so far, staring at the ceiling and always docily submiting himself to Iruka's orders. Never complaining or asking for anything. Making it so _easy_ to ignore him... And no matter how much he tried to tell himself he didn't care and that he prefered it that way, Iruka couldn't help finding it abnormal and slightly disturbing. It made him uneasy. But just now the jounin DID react; he panicked. He protested. He had had an understandable reaction and somehow it seemed to make him more... human, in a kind of twisted way. At least THAT made sense.

But it didn't change the fact that it was making things even more complicated, which was what Iruka had tried to avoid - and failed at so miserably.

The chuunin sighed heavilly and rubbed his eyes tiredly, trying to find the right words to mollify the wounded man and get rid of the building tension between them. "Kakashi-sensei. I know you're not easy with those kind of things, but... Don't make such a deal out of it. It's just a _bath_. It's not like I'm going to rape or torture you, I'm just _washing_ you. And if it makes you feel better, I swear I won't molest you or stare at you - or anything, really. Believe me, I want it over as much as you do, and if you could just cooperate it'd make things much easier for _both_ of us. Anyway," Iruka added as an afterthought, "I don't see what you're so afraid of. I've already touched you and seen you naked plenty of times - I've removed your bandages, remember? And I shave you and help you to go to the bathroom everyday, in case you've forgotten. I don't see how bathing you will be so different."

Actually, he did, but he was not going to say that to the reluctant jounin. Obviously, the Copy nin also appreciated the difference between helping someone to pee and bathing him.

"It's not the same thing," Kakashi murmured stubbornly, still looking away.

Silence ensued between the two men and Iruka didn't know what to say to convince the anxious jounin anymore. He understood the man's reluctance, but he had decided he was going to bathe him tonight, no matter what. He'd do it even against his concent if he had to. He couldn't say he hadn't tried to make things easier for the Copy nin. He had, really. But there was nothing more he could do about it; the jounin NEEDED a bath. It was not his fault he was such a prude - or that he had issues with being touched. There was nothing he could do about it.

But even as those thoughts crossed his mind, the academy teacher felt guilt stirr in the pitch of his guts and sighed tiredly, closing his eyes in defeat.

Why, oh why did it have to be so complicated...?

Hatake Kakashi was staring blankly at the ceiling. Well, where he thought was located the ceiling, since he couldn't quite see it in the darkness. In fact, he couldn't see anything at all, as the sunlight had long been swallowed by the night and the whole appartment was pitch dark in the cold December night. But the jounin didn't mind. Staring at the darkness usually helped him to fall asleep. Usually being the key word, as he was quite sure sleep wouldn't come fast tonight. Not after _that_ narrow escape. His guts writhed painfully at the mere memory of it...

Iruka-sensei giving him a bath. Somehow he had managed to forget that it was also part of the caretaker's task to tend to their patient's basic body hygiene and it came to him as a shock when the chuunin announced him that he still needed to bathe, even in his condition. Having the academy teacher shaving him and _wiping him_ when he went to the bathroom was already humiliating and embarrassing enough like that, he didn't want to imagine how it would feel to have the man bathing him. Undressing him. Gazing at every signle part of his anatomy. Touching him... He felt slightly nauseous just to think about it. The Copy nin had always being rather... _reserved_ when it came to those things, but it seemed that the prospect of having Umino Iruka doing it instead of some distant stranger made it ten times worse. With what had happened between them... He knew he had sounded horribly childish back then, but he had truly panicked. The man's presence made him so uneasy, so tense, so nervous that the prospect of having him invading so blatantly his personal space had deeply upset him. And the chuunin had sounded so determined about it too...

He had been quite sure he was done for. He couldn't quite explain what made the brown-haired man change his mind so suddenly. One moment, his features were settled and grave, and the other he seemed to hesitate. Then he grimaced and told the jounin he'd be out for a few minutes and left, but not before sending him one long, stern look that obviously meant he had not given up on on him yet.

So there he was. Enjoying his small reprieve. But he wasn't kidding himself; he knew it was only a matter of time before Iruka came back to the attack with even more determination. He felt his throat tighten at the thought. But hopefully, he would manage to get used to the idea and not put up such a horrible show when the issue would come up again. He couldn't believe he had lost his composure so easily, shown his weekness so openly... More than anything else, he felt humiliated and angry with himself for it. He was the great Copy nin Hatake Kakashi, he was supposed to always be cool and in control. Not to have a panic attack like some scared five year-old. And especially not in front of Iruka-sensei, of all people...! Iruka-sensei...

The Sharigan user hoped the brown-haired man wouldn't think too badly of him after what had happened... The jounin mused anxiously with that thought for a moment before mentally slapping himself: of course Iruka thought badly of him! Iruka _hated_ him! How could he have forgotten it so easily? The academy teacher despised him, he probably already thought so badly of him that his ridiculous little fit of panic hardly changed anything... Yet that thought didn't reassure the silver-haired man, but instead made him feel even more miserable. And that was saying something - he felt miserable enough on normal days... The sheer humiliation of being dragged around like a ragdoll, of needing help simply to eat or to empty his bladder made him feel totally helpless and left him bitter. And having Iruka helping him only made the matter worse, as he felt uneasy around the scarred man. But what was the worse was the way the chuunin did it, the way he was always so polite and the way his voice always remained carefully neutral and controlled. It felt like torture to the jounin to be treated so distantly by a man he knew to be straightforward and passionate in everything he did - he would have preferred to have him yelling at him than acting detached and polite all the time like that.

But tonight Iruka had yelled. Yet the Sharigan user knew he hadn't said what he truly had on his mind, so he guessed it didn't count.

... He couldn't quite believe he had shouted at Iruka. He hadn't intended to. In his inward turmoil, supressed frustration and growing distress, the words just rushed out of his mouth on their own. Surprising him. Shocking him. And shocking the brown-haired man as well, who fell silent at once...

He shouldn't have fought so much over it. Iruka didn't deserve this. It was already bad enough for the chuunin to take care of him, he didn't need to deal with his eccentricities too. Kakashi had promised himself he'd try to make things easier for the academy teacher, who he had hurt and humiliated unintentionally with his stupid scheme. And yet he hadn't kept his promise. He hadn't been able to. When Iruka announced him he needed a bath, he was so upset he totally forgot about all his good intentions. And now they were back to torment him...

The jounin mused darkly about the bath issue for God only knew how long, his mind plagued with remories of the argument he just had with the academy teacher. After what could have been mere minutes or several hours, Kakashi was brought back to reality when he heard the entrance door open and close silently.

With a strange distant interest, the Copy nin listened to the sound of his caretaker coming back home quietly. Faint, distant light pourred through the open door of the guest room and suddenly revealed the shape of furniture again as the chuunin turned on the lights of the small living room. Kakashi heard the muffled sound of clothing, then of footsteps as Iruka made his way through the small apartment. After a short moment, the footsteps died and there was a ruffling sound of plastic bags, followed by many other strange sounds Kakashi couldn't quite identify - not that he was trying really hard anyway.

His mind was starting to drift back to his inner musings when he heard something that made his blood run cold in his veins. Horror-striken, Kakashi could only gape silently at the darkness as the unmistakable sound of water pouring into a bathtub reached his ears.

His mind went completely blank. His heart was beating so fast in his chest that he couldn't think straight anymore, the magnifyed sound of his pounding heart and the redoubtable noise coming from the bathroom echoing in his head seemingly infinitely. It was only when the sound of the filling up bathtub died as suddenly as it had come that the Copy nin finally snapped back to awareness, his highly-trained ninja senses warning him of imminent danger. While the sound of water pouring into the tub had chocked him, the absence of sounds - and what it meant - was downright frightening him. His worst fears were confirmed as the sound of footsteps suddenly resonated through the silent apartment, each step drawing the brown-haired man closer to the guest room.

He tried to calm down and pull himself together. He tried to force his panicking heart to stop preventing him from having any kind of coherent and rational thinking process but to his own frustration, his efforts seemed vain as his body refused to listen to him anymore. Things didn't improve when, from the corner of his eye, Kakashi _saw_ the shape of the academy teacher slowly approaching the guest room.

The chuunin stoped at the entrance of the room, his dark figure cutting clearly from the lit living room. At this impressive sight, the silver-haired man felt his throat tighen painfully. Before Kakashi even knew it, the words were out of his mouth.

"I don't want to."

"I thought we already went through that phase," Iruka answered calmly as he started to walk again toward the jounin, rolling his sleeves as he did so.

"I told you, I don't need - don't want...!"

The chuunin was now standing right next to Kakashi's side. From that close, the silver-haired man could make out enough of the academy teacher's face to see the man raising an eyebrow defiantly at him in the darkness and he knew at once that he wouldn't have as much luck this time.

"Let me remind you that you're in no condition to argue, Kakashi- _sensei_ ," Iruka answered lightly, his voice was heavy with irony. Those words cut through Kakashi like razor blades. Hurt and humiliation sweeped through him as he catched on what the brown-haired man implied and the jounin looked away, feeling his cheeks reddening with indignity.

He didn't know what he had expected. He should have seen it coming. And the worse of it was probably that he knew the chuunin was right about it - right about both his ashaming lack of maturity and his absolute helplessness. How he hated, how he _resented_ this situation...!

Iruka seemed to understand his chain of thoughts. "Don't fuss over it so much," he told him on a more soothing tone, "It's just a bath afterall. There's no need to make such a big deal out of it... Let's get over it already, okay?"

Kakashi closed his eyes in a resigned way and nodded curtly. It was not like he had the choice anyway, like Iruka had reminded him so galantly.

He first felt Iruka's hands on his eye patch, carefully removing it from his sharigan eye. Then, his hands were on his clothed feet, his warm figers brushing against his skin as the man removed his socks carefully. Then the chuunin's fingers were on his torso, lightly unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes resolutely closed, he tried not thinking about it too much. When he was done with the buttons, Iruka passed his arm under him and lifted him from the bed, patiently trying to remove his arms out of his sleeves with his other hand. The jounin could feel the academy teacher's warm body mere inches away from his own, Iruka's scent invading his noistrils as he felt the man's breath against his now uncovered neck. Forcing his eyes shut tigher, the Copy nin swallowed hard and tried to calm down and ignore the way his heart seemed to want to crawl up his oesophagus with the remains of his broccoli serving.

After far too long, the chuunin managed to remove completely his shirt, moved away from Kakashi's exposed torso and neck and layed him down again on the bed, to the jounin's relief. Then the tanned fingers were on his the sides of his pants, brushing against his hips, then his tights as he pulled down his pants slowly and Kakashi felt the urge to kick his caretaker and his invading hands away, but his legs refused adamantly to move. His eyes shut so tight they hurt, he willed himself not to twitch or blush as he felt his pants and Iruka's fingers rubbing against his ankles, knowing far too well what was coming next. When the pants were off, Iruka's hands were back to his hipbones, this time working on removing the Sharigan user's boxers.

Once again, the chuunin's fingers trailed on the side of his hips. When he felt the boxers reach his knees, Kakashi swallowed hard and tried to forget how exposed he felt. He tried to chase away this stupid feeling of being watched that seemed to burn each centimeter of his skin. Yet he didn't dare to open his eyes to see if that feeling was a creation of his paranoid mind or if the chuunin was truly staring at his naked body, inwardly fearing that he would be the latter. In that case, he was better off not knowing.

He didn't have much time to muse about it because he soon felt Iruka's arms moving under him, one arm lifting his back while the other worked its way under his knees. The chuunin's strong arms brought him closer to his body and when Kakashi felt the naked skin of his side press against the brown-haired man's clothed stomach, he half wished he had died back then in that dark alley a few blocks away from the Hospital; at least he wouldn't have to stand there totally naked in the arms of the only person in all Konoha who made him uneasy, getting undressed and carried around bridal-style like a ragdoll to get a bath.

Kakashi cynically hoped that his caretaker wouldn't want to braid his hair afterward.

Gently, the brown-haired man lifted the jounin and carried him toward the barely lit bathroom. Before he even knew it, he felt the chuunin lowering him down already. The Copy nin expected to feel the warmth of the water against his naked back but was surprised when his uncovered skin first met with a thick layer of a light, foamy substence. His surprise didn't last long as he soon felt warm water surrounding him, his backside and legs resting on the bottom of the bathtub. The ex-anbu felt himself shiver as Iruka's second hand brushed against the tender skin of the nape of his neck to support his head and he opened his normal eye just in time to see Iruka crouching over him to gently lay down his head on the cool rim of the bath. His eyebrows slightly frowning with concentration, the chuunin was staring at him with a disturbing seriousness and to his own embarassment, the jounin felt his cheeks heating up. Looking away swiftly, Kakashi's eye rested on the foamy white substence floating on top of the water. Bubblebath. Of course. Now that he thought about it, the strong yet undescribable scent of the bubblebath was invading his senses, making the presence of a bathing product quite obvious. Why hadn't he noticed it before...?

For a while, his caretaker tried to shift him into a less awkward and more comfortable position, but his quest was obviously pointless as it was physically impossible to fit a half-lying full-grown man into a normal-sized bathtub. When the chuunin was satisfyed with the position was in, he straightened up and let out a breath and Kakashi was quite glad for the precence of the bubblebath, for it was hiding from sight the most intimate parts of his anatomy. Inwardly thanking the academy teacher for his thoughtfullness, Kakashi allowed himself to relax a bit in the warm water - he had to admit he had missed those, even thought he wished the first bath he had for weeks would take place in other circumstences.

His reprieve didn't last long as Iruka soon got out of a platic bag a bottle of shampoo and set it down on the rim of the tub.

"Let's begin with the hair, okay?" he asked very quietly.

Kakashi nodded faintly, not enthusiast at all at the prospect of having the brown-haired man's fingers going through his hair but quite aware of his lack of other options.

Carefully, Iruka bend his head over the tub and started to soak his hair. Then he put the Copy nin's head back on the rim of the tub and Kakashi heard him open the shampoo bottle and pour loudly a generous amount of it on the palm of his hand. To Kakashi's relief, the shampoo didn't smell like Iruka's - the omnipresent smell of the teacher was already making him uneasy, he didn't want to imagine how it would have been if he had smelled like him too. Then, the Sharigan user felt Iruka's hands on his head, soaping his hair.

It felt strange to have the man's fingers caressing his skull like that. He couldn't remember when was the last time anyone has touched his hair to start with... The sensation of the strong yet gentle fingers stroking his hair was new to him. It was making him uneasy, but it was not totally unpleasant. It was just... strange. To have a man massaging his hair like that. He didn't hate it but he wanted it to end soon nonetheless, because it was just... weird. Gross, even. Well, maybe not, but… It was still weird.

When the chuunin was done washing his hair, he bend Kakashi's head forward again and rinsed the soap throughfully. As his caretaker laid down his head on the rim again, the jounin started to feel apprehension rising in him at the prospect of what he knew was coming. After washing his hair... he had to wash _him_. Bracing himself to the blatant invasion of his privacy that was about to take place, Kakashi did his best to look calmer than he felt as he saw from the corner of his eye the chuunin remove a bottle of body gel from the same plastic bag as before. To his surprise, the academy teacher also took out of the bag something long and narrow - like a stick but with something blue and fluffly at the end...

For a moment, Kakashi stared at the stick without understanding what it was - maybe it was because he was feeling so nervous, or maybe because the room was not very well lit. When he saw the chuunin pouring the body gel on it, Kakashi suddenly remembered. Even though he'd never used it before, he had seen it before at his local drugstore. It was a sponge. A stick with a sponge at its end.

Relief washed over him like a hurricane at the realisation of what it meant. No hands touching him. No invading fingers on his naked skin... Unconsciously, Kakashi let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Suddenly, he felt a rush of affection and respect for the chuunin, who started to wash him with the blue sponge. They didn't exchange a word; they didn't need to. Kakashi knew the brown-haired man understood what it meant to him and how he appreciated the small attention.

After a throughout bath and an awkward but fast drying session, Iruka carefully carried the wounded jounin back to his bed and dressed him up in fresh clothes, careful not to touch him too much and make him uneasy. But Kakashi wouldn't remember about it in the morning, as he felt asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow, emotionally exhausted but clean.


	11. Christmas at Iruka's

Christmas was approaching. In fact, it was already the 24th of December. Iruka hadn't seen the time pass by - he usually didn't even celebrate Christmas to start with. But this year it would be different; Naruto had decided so. And, to his mild horror, that meant he needed to buy presents. On the 24th of December. As he was pinning a smelly and somewhat dusty garland on his living room wall, the chuunin shook his head in discouragement. To go shopping the day before Christmas... He knew it wasn't exactly a bright idea, but it wasn't like he had the choice anymore. The chuunin sighed at the thought. It promised to be a very long and painful afternoon...

For the occasion, Iruka had fished out of his wardrobe the few old Christmas decorations he hadn't had the heart to part with after his parents' death and was busying himself installing them for the first time ever since the Kyuubi attack. Back in his youth, he used to celebrate Christmas and the New Year Eve with his mother and father. Every year, they spent the Christmas Eve and the New Year Eve playing games and drinking hot chocolate at the kitchen table, sometimes munching on those cookies his mother always overbaked a bit... As he finished setting up the last of the garlands, Iruka took a few steps back to look at his hard work and felt nostalgy hit him. He smiled sadly at those decorations that brought back memories of a distant happy past he had almost forgotten with the years. But those happy evenings passed laughing with his parents and eating burnt cookies seemed so far away that the chuunin felt like they were someone else's memory. He had been alone for so long... It felt almost wrong to know he wouldn't spend Christmas alone this year. So strange.

The academy teacher shook his head vigorously to chase away those dark thoughts; he didn't have the time to get all angsty over foul-smelling Christmas decorations, he still had to go buy presents for Team seven before the shops closed. Or before they were too full with people hurrying to buy last-minute presents... which was probably already the case.

The brown-haired man verified that he had his wallet on him before heading to the entrance and putting on his winter coat and his scarf, hoping it wouldn't be too cold outside since he didn't have gloves - he kept on forgetting to buy new ones somehow. As he was about to open the front door to leave, he groaned softly as he suddently realized that in his hurry, he had forgotten to do something important. Reluctantly, the chuunin turned around and walked to the guest room, stopping at the threshold.

"Kakashi-sensei, I'm off to go do some shopping," he said quietly, "Do you need anything before I leave?"

The silver-haired man, who had been staring at the ceiling once again, shook his head faintly. Sighing inwardly with relief, the chuunin turned on his heels and headed again to the door, already musing about which shop he would visit first to fins the perfect gift for his favourite ex-student. Halfway through the apartment, Iruka heard the jounin suddenly call after him and he inwardly groaned; he should have known it was too good to be true. Walking back to the impotent man, the chuunin hoped the Copy nin didn't need to go to the bathroom, even though he knew it was stupid of him to wish for such a thing: if Kakashi didn't go to the bathroom right now, then he'd need to when he would come back and Iruka knew perfectly well that he would not feel more enthusiast to help him later in the afternoon than he was just then.

"What is it?" he asked the jounin on a neutral tone as he approached his bed. To his surprise, the Sharigan user looked away and seemed to hesitate.

"I was wondering if you could... but you don't have to..." Kakashi started to say, obviously having a hard time finding the right words. Iruka frowned; it was not like him to hesitate like that.

"Spill it already, Kakashi-sensei", Iruka pressed on, the jounin's abnormal behaviour worrying him.

"Well, I was wondering... Could you buy them something for me?"

Iruka blinked at the jounin, surprised. He didn't know what he had expected, but certainly not something like that.

"Of course, I'd pay-" Kakashi added rapidly, "there's a good among of money hidden in my apartment, under the left cushion of the sofa, I believe you have my keys - but if you don't want to go through the trouble, it's fine, I'd understand."

"No, I don't mind," the chuunin answered truthfully. "What do you want me to get for them?"

His question was greeted by an awkward silence. Kakashi stared at him with a blank eye; obviously, the man had not thought that far ahead and had no idea what he wanted to give to his students. As if it was because of some lack of inspiration or because he didn't have a clue what people were supposed to give each other for Christmas, Iruka couldn't tell.

"Err... books?" he finally asked, and his hesitation answered the academy teacher's question.

"Okay," the chuunin nodded and Kakashi seemed to relax a bit, obviously reassured that his idea of what was an acceptable Christmas present had passed the Iruka-says-it's-okay test. Yep, definitely the latter, Iruka thought with a mix of mild amusement and pity.

"What kind of books do you want me to get them?" At those words, the Copy nin frowned thoughtfully.

"If you could please, hum, a cooking book for Naruto..." he started off thoughtfully and Iruka couldn't fight back a smile. Indeed, Naruto could do with one...

"... A botanic book for Sakura and a romance novel for Sasuke," the jounin finally said and Iruka stared at him, incredulous. Was it his ears playing him tricks or had Kakashi just suggested buying a romance novel for _Uchiha Sasuke_? The guy might have strange social conceptions, but he couldn't be that clueless.

"A _romance novel_?" he asked skeptically and to his mild horror, the jounin nodded with a somewhat disturbing serious look on his face. Okay, so he had heard that one right. Iruka massaged his eyes and sighed, wondering with annoyance how he was supposed to tell the silver-haired man that it was definitely _not_ a suitable present for a fifteen year old teenager. And especially not for Sasuke, of all people! How troublesome...

"Kakashi-sensei, I'm not sure this is, hum, an appropriate present for Sasuke-kun. Maybe a history or a tactic one-"

"No," the silver-haired man cut him at once. "A romance novel. But buy some serious-looking book with a removable cover too to cover it up please."

"As you wish," the chuunin sighed in defeat as he left the guest room, not feeling up to trying to make him change his mind about that ridiculous idea of his. If the Copy nin wanted to give Sasuke a romance novel, well then he would give Sasuke a romance novel. Afterall, it could have been worse; at least Kakashi hadn't asked him to buy any of his students porn and THAT was already a very good start. From that point of view, Sasuke was definitely better off with a romance novel than with any other twisted idea the Copy nin could have come up with - and God only knew he had twisted ideas.

Iruka just hoped Sasuke would also appreciate that point of view.

Hatake Kakashi sighed. He tried to see the bright side of his current situation: at least he wasn't staring at the ceiling anymore. He was staring at the wall in front of him instead. Because after Iruka had been done dressing him with nearly nice-looking civilian clothes Kakashi didn't even know he owned, brushing his teeth and _trying_ to comb -or maybe the best expression would be tame- his hair with admirable obstinacy, the chuunin had left him in a sitting position. So he was staring at the wall instead of the ceiling. Nice change, heh?

... Somehow, the jounin couldn't quite see anything positive about this new development, no matter how hard he tried. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that before Iruka decided to make him more "acceptable" for his small Christmas party, the brown-haired man cleaned every part of his tiny and tidy apartment and had decorated it for the Holidays, which left Kakashi with the unpleasant impression that had been "decorated" as well to fit with the rest of the apartment.

At least the chuunin had been kind enough to put his mask back in place after he was done decorating him. Now THAT was positive, right? There, he had found something positive. At least when Team seven would show up, they wouldn't see his face.

... Damn stupid Christmas party.

They had agreed to meet in the evening, after Sakura's family Christmas party was over and honestly, Kakashi was quite glad for it. Because that meant Iruka wouldn't have them over for diner and thus, that he wouldn't have to go through the humiliation of being hand-feeded by the academy teacher in front of his students and team members. Kakashi didn't know if it was a coincidence or if Iruka or Team seven had given it a thought when they set the meeting together but was quite glad things turned out that way.

From the corner of his uncovered eye, the jounin could see Iruka pacing in the living room absent-mindedly; obviously, the brown-haired man didn't receive guests often. He had already noticed it when he had been spying the man - almost nobody ever visited the teacher except Naruto, who stopped by on very rare occasions. But then again, he wouldn't know how frequently a normal person was supposed to go out or receive visitors as he himself rarely saw people at all out of working hours. Sometimes Gai passed by to challenge him or make sure he was still alive, but that was all.

As he listened to the man's pacing, Kakashi admitted he would probably feel nervous as well if he was about to have guests over for Christmas. That thought made his stomach clench, because he knew that technically, HE was also having visitors for Christmas as Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were also coming to see him. And if Kakashi had his say about it, Iruka and Team seven would do their Christmas meeting in the living room and leave him be, alone in the guest room. The whole Christmas party affair was far too troublesome for his tastes – the truth was he had no idea what people usually did on Christmas day and didn't know at all what to expect of the whole meeting.

Of course, he had heard about Christmas - Santa and the gift-giving thing - and about Christmas parties before. He had even caught a glimpse of a few parties during his patrol duty with the years so he had a vague idea of what those meetings where like. But he had enough common sense to doubt that normal Christmas parties included massive drinking, random violence and stip poker games just like Anko's ones, which were well known through the village for they always fed up the gossip channel with fresh morally-disturbing stories every year. Which didn't help him at all, he conclued with disappointment.

Fortunately he was sick and bedridden, so with any luck they wouldn't expect too much out of him and his uneasiness and lack of knowledge about Christmas parties would go noticed. Or at least he hoped so. He was already feeling weak and out of place enough like that, he didn't need those damn Christmas interactions to make his life more miserable.

And he hoped his students wouldn't use the occasion to get all huggy on him - he'd never forgive them if they did.

As he was musing darkly about good plans to make his students pay if they dared to cling too much on his civilian shirt, the unmistakable sound of Naruto knocking frantically on the front door reached his ears. Seconds later, Iruka was opening the door and greetings where exchanged loudly and chaotically as his caretaker motionned his guests inside the small apartment.

"Merry Christmas!"

"It's been such a long time-!"

"Wow, you've grown so much!"

"Did you change your haircut?"

"You can put your coats there-"

"Thank you for inviting us!"

"I heard you've passed your jounin exam last week, congradulation!"

"Where do I put my boots, Iruka-sensei?"

"Thank you-"

"Just over there-"

"Geez, move! You're squeezing me against the door!"

"Well you shouldn't get in the way!"

"That's a nice shirt you've got there."

"Baka, can't you see my arms are full?"

"Why, thank you!"

"That's not a reason to-"

"Oh, you didn't need to bring a cake!"

"Where do I put the presents?"

"Ah, those are just leftovers, I thought-"

"Wow, you decorated!"

"Here, let me take that away-"

"Don't go through the trouble-"

"Where do I put-?"

"Ooooh, where did you buy this?"

"Heh? Oh, that's-"

" _Where do I put the presents?_ "

The three teens and Iruka kept on babbling for a moment, happily trying to tell one another far too many things at the same time - it sounded like there were at least nine people chatting in the entrance, Kakashi could hardly believe all that noise was coming from only four people, _Uchiha Sasuke_ included. After a while, they finally seemed to calm down a bit and stopped talking on top of each other, to Kakashi's ears' relief. That was when the Copy nin heard Sakura say it.

"So! Where is he?"

Aww, crap. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Sakura's pink head pop out of the open door and he inwardly groaned, abandoning all his hopes for a nice, quiet evening. The young kunoichi hesitated a bit, then entered the room slowly, followed by the two boys.

"Merry Christmas Kakashi-sensei!" she said happily as she approached and, to her teacher's relief, she stopped by his side and abstained from hugging him.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas!" Naruto followed her with his usual enthusiasm, a broad smile on his lips while Sasuke only nodded curtly at him, as Kakashi had expected him to.

"Merry Christmas to you as well," the jounin answered lazily.

"We've come to see you at the hospital, but Hokage-sama wouldn't tell us where you had been moved to!" Sakura whined and, to Kakashi's disappoinment, she took a nearby chair and sat down right beside him. He hoped she wasn't planning to linger there for more than 5 minutes, but somehow he doubted it.

"Yeah, I've told him already," Naruto added lightly as he let himself fall on the corner of the bed, which only added to the silver-haired man's dismay. "I still can't believe she banned us from the Hospital!"

"Well if _someone_ hadn't knocked out two healers and broken three windows-"

"How are you feeling?" Sasuke suddenly cut in to avoid an obviously well-known argument and at once, the two other teenager's attention went back to their jounin sensei.

"Fine," Kakashi answered out of habit and the three teens stared at him with mild concern. They knew him far too well to believe he was feeling as well as he pretended; he had always hated being stuck at the hospital and his current situation was far worse than a normal hospital stay. But what did they expect him to say? No, that he wasn't feeling fine at all and that he had never felt so damn miserable in his whole life? Even he knew that people normally didn't say out loud those kind of things.

At that presice moment, Iruka difficultly entered the room with additionnal chairs, fruit juice and a plate full of food and Kakashi, understanding that the visitors -and even their host- had no intention to spend their Christmas evening in the decorated living room at all, inwardly sighed with resignation, accepting his fate with ill grace. After all, it was only another awkward evening in his life... Nothing to get upset over.

Soon they were all happily chatting among each others, Sakura and Iruka talking about the reforms for the chuunin exam while Sasuke and Naruto were arguing as usual and Kakashi felt a bit left out, even though he admitted he preferred it that way: at least he wasn't expected to answer back if nobody was talking to him. But soon enough, Sakura managed to get the Copy nin to participate a bit in their discussion; for the life of him he couldn't recall how it happened. Much to his surpirse, Kakashi found it strangely easy to talk with them once the ice had been broken; somehow, their subjects of discussion seemed to always be ones he felt safe with - missions, politics, geography... And he doubted that people normally talked of politics during Christmas parties. He truly owned one to the pink-haired teen for making things easier for him - he'd have to remember about it when he managed to get out of this stupid bed. But more than anything else, it felt almost... surreal to the impotent jounin to share a discussion with Umino Iruka. The brown-haired man was sitting right beside him with a small relaxed smile on his lips as if, for once, he didn't mind being there. Dropping the neutral tone he usually used when he talked to him. Talking to him even if he didn't have to... Before he even knew it, Kakashi found himself feeling a lot better than he had in a long while, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, even though he knew it wouldn't last forever.

When they started talking about the renovations going on in the West side of the town, Naruto joined their discussion to tell them he's heard they planned to build a pizzeria where used to be the librairy and Sakura groaned with annoyance while Sasuke rolled his eyes in a very un-Sasukeish way - Kakashi could only guess with humour that it had become Naruto's new favorite subject of discussion of late. As Naruto was enumerating all the advantages of having a pizzeria a few blocks away from his apartment to an amused Iruka and an exasperated Sakura, Sasuke, who obviously couldn't care less about fastfood, started to talk to Kakashi about ninjutsu tactics.

Time passed by and before they even knew it, they had been talking for more than an hour and half. Suddenly, Naruto, who obviously couldn't wait anymore, loudly announced that it was present time and without further ado, got up and rushed to the living room to get the Christmas presents, Iruka following him with a low amused chuckled while Sakura yelled at her teammate to calm down or he'd break something. Both men soon came back with the arms filled with colorful packages that they set down at the end of the bed and in a matter of seconds, the silver-haired man couldn't even see his feet anymore as they were surrounded by boxes wrapped in bright Christmas wrapping paper. Kakashi stared with astonishment at the offensive packages that covering half of the bed, invading his vital space. All these presents couldn't be only for the five of them...?

"Just _how many_ presents have you bought?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask, bewildered by the sheer number of gifts laying around him. His amazement must have shown on his face because both Sakura and Naruto burst out laughing joyfully at his stunned expression and Sasuke smirked at him, his eyes gleaming with amusement. Even Iruka smiled; from the corner of his eye, the jounin could see the brown-haired man cracking a small smile as he looked away.

"Okay now! Present time everyone!" the blond teen proclaimed loudly and he grabbed the nearest present almost hungrily, to everyone's amusement. Obviously, it was Naruto's first Christmas party and the blond teen couldn't hold back anymore all the childish excitement he felt as he was about to unwrap his first Christmas gifts. Even a blind man could have seen that it meant a lot to the teen and even though Kakashi didn't quite understand what was the big deal about Christmas, the Copy nin was happy for the blonde. If Naruto was happy, then it was worth going through this party for his sake.

Or maybe he should say for _their_ sake. On the corner of his eye, even though his face was as emotionless as a rock, Kakashi could see a strange glee in Sasuke's dark eyes and it amused him. The elite jounin guessed the raven-haired boy had missed spending Christmas with loved ones, although he liked to pretend he couldn't care less about those kind of things. To the silver-haired man, it was a good sign, because it meant that the Uchiha heir was finally starting to open up, to stop clutching after his angsty past and refuse to go on for the sake of a revenge that would leave him empty. Maybe he had finally understood, had found a new sense to his life... He hoped so.

The jounin was pretty sure Naruto and Sakura had worked really hard to convince him to come; he was even surprised he came to start with. They had probably told him he needed to come for Iruka and his sake since they didn't get along at all and all that crap, but Kakashi knew some part of Sasuke was truly glad to be there, even if he wouldn't admit it under torture.

With enthusiasm, Naruto read the label on the present he had grabbed and threw it playfully at Iruka, deserving himself a punch on the head from an annoyed Sakura for manhandling the gifts. And they started unwrapping the presents. Kakashi was surprised to find his team had gotten him presents as well; he knew he should have expected it, but still... Receiving gifts like that left him with a strange feeling; it had been such a long time since the last time he had been given anything - true, Gai often gave him clothing articles for Christmas, but somehow it didn't feel the same to receive presents from his students and team members.

Sakura gave him a box full of sweets - how she had discovered he had a sweet tooth, it was a real wonder to him since he rarely ate in public or talked about his tastes. It was pleasant surprise though - and it made him uneasy, because he didn't know exactly what to say to express this happy feeling swelling inside of him. When she unwrapped his present for him, she watched his reaction carefully and she must have read through him because she then smiled genuinely, obviously proud to have found her teacher a gift he truly liked.

"Heh?" Naruto asked on a surprised tone, staring at the box as if he had never seen one before, "Kakashi-sensei likes _sweets_?"

"All people don't only eat fastfood, moron," Sasuke told him with a playful smirk.

"Shut up, bastard!"

Sasuke gave him a very nice new katana he looked forward to use - it didn't really surprise him though, as the raven-haired teen gave weapons to everyone except Iruka, who received a wooden clock for some reason. As for Naruto, he offered him the newest Icha Icha book - which resulted in Iruka screaming at the blonde teen for at least 10 solid minutes for buying porn in the first place as he was still underage, to Sasuke and his mild amusement, Sakura frowning with disapprobation in her corner. While Kakashi was quite grateful for the present and really looked forward to read it, he doubted Iruka would agree to help him reading it, if his reaction was any clue... He guessed he'd have to wait.

The silver-haired man was also relieved to see his students seemed to like the presents he had asked Iruka to buy for them; obviously, they hadn't had high expectations to start with, not trusting his tastes when it came to buying gifts, so they seemed pleasantly surprised by his choices. Of course, Sakura was pleased with her book, as she had always liked reading in her free time. As for Naruto, he seemed happy but slightly confused to receive a cooking book while the rest of the gang was rejoiced by Kakashi's judicious choice, especially Sasuke, who obviously had some first-hand experience with Naruto's cooking.

When Sasuke unwraped his present, he stared at the cover of "Genjustu Tactics and Strategies" blankly, politely thanking the jounin for his gift. Then, he flipped the book open and read the title written inside of it. If he was ever surprised, he sure didn't let it show, but after a few seconds he thanked Kakashi a second time and the jounin was quite sure he was a small blush colouring his pale cheeks. From the way Iruka's eyebrows raised up in the air in surprise, the academy teacher had probably seen it as well. Then, something special happened; the chuunin wasn't looking at him, but Kakashi saw his lips twist into a small, knowing smile and it set alight a fire inside of him, the knowledge that they shared that special moment of understanding together making him feel strangely warm and happy and he couldn't help but smile behind his mask for some reason.

When they were done unwrapping all the gifts, the teens and Iruka started talking together again pleasantly and Kakashi rested contently on his pillow, listening to their cheerful babble absent-mindedly. He didn't know why; maybe it was because of all the laugher and happiness surrounding him but somehow, he didn't feel out of place anymore. He felt just... at ease. He couldn't explain it, it was... He didn't have words for it, for this strange unknown sensation. He couldn't even remember the last time he had felt this relaxed in public... Like he wasn't out of place anymore. It was weird... and it was great, he decided.

The jounin let the others' small talk cradle him. Soon he couldn't tell apart words anymore, their voice becoming a soothing music to his ears and slowly, he drifted asleep, the sound of Sasuke and Naruto's bickering and Sakura and Iruka's laughter still filling his dreams.


	12. Asuma's Marriage Issues

Iruka had thought that by now, people would have forgotten about him. That those aunts and brothers and grandmothers would have grown tired of playing cat and mouse with him and given up on trying to set him up with their friends or family members. He had thought – hoped- that after weeks of being avoided and having their offers continually turned down, they would have gotten the clue and left him _alone_. But nooooooo! They wouldn't leave him alone; it seemed to the brown-haired man that things were only getting worse as of late, as more people than ever were calling out his name and trying to lure him into secluded areas as he walked down the streets of Konoha on his way to the mission room. Before, the chuunin had avoided using main roads when walking through the village but in the past few days, he had started avoiding _getting_ _out_ of his house, period. It had reached that point.

When he thought about it, it was really ridiculous. Going as far as to avoid leaving his house because of that stupid date affair... Made him almost feel ashamed of his own lack of guts. But to his defense, it had _really_ become creepy of late to walk through Konoha for him. His suitors and their acquaintances were getting more and more persistent and in the past few day, they had started using all kinds of twisted means to get a date out of him, random people offering him to help him carrying his grocery home, salemen and women offering him special discounts for no reason, women having all kind of fake accidents in front of him to draw his attention on them... There was even that fat-breasted red-haired jounin who had sneaked up behind him and started rubbing her body agaisnt his like a cat in heat in the middle of a crowded street, two blocks away from the Academy, in full daylight. He had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life! If Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei hadn't happened to pass by, he didn't know how he would have managed to get rid of her. Just thinking about it made Iruka shudder with disgust, feeling dirty all over again where she had touched him. He truly hoped he wouldn't run into _that one_ again... That reminded him, he really needed to send Asuma and Kurenai a card or something to show his gratitude...

Iruka had stopped accepting dates for a whole week now and he had hoped that people would get the hint by now and leave him alone, but it seemed that it only increased their determination and tenacity. What would it take to convince them to leave him alone? A _marriage?_ He couldn't believe he was even considering it... Somehow, Iruka had the distinct impression that there was an open competition going on about who would snatch up the nice, reliable marriageable chuunin before the others. The judges of the competition being the whole village of Konoha, if the way people kept on muttering on his way was any indication. At least, he tried to convince himself, nobody had started stalking him or menacing him yet, so things weren't so bad, right? He just had to... give them a few weeks and when the whole village would have forgotten about his existence again, he'd probably laugh of it all. Or at least he hoped so...

To some point, the chuunin was almost glad of being forced to take care of Hatake Kakashi because it allowed him to shut himself up in his house and ignore the rest of the world -and that whole freaking date affair - for a while. But unfortunately, he could not barricade himself in his apartment and never step a foot out of it again; he still had to buy food, after all. Plus, he had to deliver a C-class mission report to the mission room twice a week to report the "progress" of Kakashi's healing. Which was quite pointless since he was no healer or chakra channel specialist and, given the state of motionlessness the jounin was forced into by his medication, he had absolutely no clue how the man's treatment was progressing and found himself always writting the same useless bit of information on every damn report. As far as he was concerned, those reports were plain stupid and purposeless. A complete waste of time and paper that forced him to walk to the mission room twice a week and get hunted down by a crowd of wannabe marriagemakers and single women. Damn bureaucratic idioties... Iruka suspected the Hokage to be behind it. She probably had had his best interest at heart, thinking that it wouldn't do him any good to stay confined with the Copy nin all day long. Well she had thought wrong; at least, Kakashi didn't keep on harassing him to get a freaking date...!

To his displeasure, Iruka discovered as he was heading once again to the mission room on the 27th of December that people seemed to have found a new way to harass him. Now, people didn't just ask him out, they also invited him to their New Year Eve party. Which was, as the chuunin soon discovered, far worse to deal with than he could have imagined.

New Year Eves in Konoha were different than in the rest of the Fire Country. In Konoha, the New Year Eve was an occasion for friends, family members and commorades to celebrate in large, massive groups, just like everywhere else. But since the village was small and that everybody knew almost everybody because of work or marriage alliances, a solid competition had developped itself about the New Year Eve parties over the years. Every year, there was a competition going on between the different party-organizers concerning who would come to which party, since people usually received at least two or three invitations and had to choose where and with who they wanted to spend the last night of the year. Sometimes, it even caused small comotions, like six or seven years ago when Hayate had decided not to go to Kurenai's party like he usually did but instead to the Nimisha's one. Iruka had heard the Hokage himself had had to interfere at some point before it got too nasty... No, you didn't joke with New Year Eve in Konoha.

In the past few years, Iruka had received invitations but had never gone to any of those parties, feeling somewhat out of place celebrating with people he barely knew. He had never been one for such loud parties anyway. And people had long stopped expecting him to come. But now that he was the most wanted marriageable man of all Konoha, things were _completely_ different. As he unpleasantly discovered when he headed for the mission room on the 27th, it seemed that every party-organizer in town wanted to invite him to _their_ party. Was it because they wanted to use that occasion to introduce him to some of their single friends or because they thought that his presence would attract a lot of women hoping to seduce him, he didn't know and honestly, he didn't want to think too much about it. The idea of being used as an attraction disgusted him... In fact, the mere idea of being caught in a room full of intoxicated single women AND of random people trying to get him drunk made him want to barricade himself in his house and not get out of it before March. He shuddered again at the thought.

And unfortunately for the academy teacher, it seemed as well that those party-organizers wouldn't take no for an answer. They seemed to think they needed to _convince_ him that their party was the best one in town and, to the brown-haired chuunin's annoyance, they were determined not to let him get away before they had persuaded him. And he couldn't excuse himself that he already had plans; everybody seemed to know he was alone for the New Year Eve...! Yet the chuunin had decided that he wouldn't get dragged into this and had managed to turn down every invitation so far, but not without great difficulty - and that was an understatement.

It was with a huge sigh of relief that the brown-haired man entered the mission room, glad to be at last arrived at his destination. He had received seven invitations for New Year Eve parties on his way there and it had not been easy to get rid of the party-organizers - it took him a solid 20 minutes to decline a total stranger named Yanajuma's invitation and another 10 minutes to loose him through the streets of Konoha since the guy just wouldn't let go. To Iruka's relief, the mission room was empty except for the two usual chuunin doing their mission desk duties and two bored nins - including Genma, of course. But most importantly, there seemed to be no party-organizer in sight.

Seeing his relieved expression, a few nins laughed softly.

"Not easy to be the most popular man in town, heh?" Genma teased him with an amused smirk on his lips.

"Shut up Genma," Iruka muttered darkly as he gave his mission report to the chuunin in duty and a few more people laughed.

"Come on Iruka-san, I'm sure it's not that bad," the deskman told him and Iruka gave him a sinister look that clearly indicated he could take his place anytime if he wanted.

"Hey, don't give us that look!" Genma said playfully, "You're not exactly to be pitied, you know. Getting chased around by a crowd of hot, single women... I could do with such a _marthyrdom_."

"What's happening?" Asuma asked as he entered the mission room, his hands nonchalantly put away in his pockets.

"Our little Iruka-kun's having trouble satisfying all those hot babes pursuing him," Genma answered before Iruka could say anything and the chuunin blushed at the crude understatement the senbon-user had just made before glaring at him.

"Yeah, I noticed," Asuma smiled as he joined them. "I hope that red-haired lunatic hadn't given you more problems?" Iruka's blush deepened and he shook his head, feeling suddenly a bit sheepish.

"No, I haven't, errr, run into her ever since - thank you again for your help, I truly appreciate it."

The bearded man waved his large hand in dismissal. "It was nothing, really. 'Couldn't leave you there getting groped in the middle of the street by that horny looney, couldn't I?"

"Groped, you say?" Genma asked incredulously, his eyebrows raised high. "In the middle of the street?"

"Yeah, by that red-haired weirdo, I think she works in the 5th division-"

"That'll do, thank you," Iruka warned them sternly, feeling abnormally touchy about being reminded of that unfortunate event and both men shut up at once. It was one thing Iruka really appreciated about his job - after teaching pre-genins for eight years, he could call even the fierciest man back to order with a simple glare. And it never stopped to amaze some, especially jounins who left the mission room with bemused expressions, wondering how some low-ranked and seemingly harmless chuunin had managed to make them accept a C-ranked mission with a simple glance.

"But honestly," Asuma spoke up as he gave in his own mission report, "why don't you just go out with one of them? That would solve the problem and they'd leave you alone."

Iruka grimaced and rubbed his neck with his hand, a mix of reluctance and embarrassment visible on his tanned face. The fact that he himself didn't even know the answer to that question seemed to make things even more difficult. "I don't know... I guess I'm just not interested," he answered weakly, inwardly cursing himself for coming up with such a miserable excuse. Why was he even bothering trying to answer it every time someone asked? Why couldn't he just tell them to _get lost_? At least, he wouldn't look like an indecisive jerk every time...!

"That's what I don't understand. How can you be _not_ interested? There are dozens of hot babes at your feet and you're telling me _you're not interested_?" Genma ranted unbelievingly, as if the chuunin had won 10 million dollars and refused his prize.

"Genma, that's because Iruka-sensei is a _gentleman_ , not a horny, insensitive male chauvinist like you," the brown-haired mission desk kunoichi explained flatly and a few people snorted with laughter.

"Now, now, I'm not an insensitive man. You should get to know me better…," the bandana-wearer eyed her suggestively and the woman rolled her eyes with exasperation.

"Well, I admit that if it'd be me, I'd probably be a bit put off," Asuma said thoughtfully, ignoring Genma's disappointed pouting. "All those women wanting to hitch you... Not really a turn on."

"I still think it's not normal he doesn't want to date all those hot chicks. No normal man could resist to that many beautiful women," the senbon user said nonchalantly. Then, he smiled and snorted with amusement. "He's got to be gay to be so damn perfect, that figures."

Iruka blinked. Once. Twice. Then, the words he had just heard sunk in and he felt an indescribable feeling swell inside of him, overwheming him. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. It wasn't anger. It wasn't disgust either... It was something else.

... Something giving him the irresistible desire to punch Genma and that stupid, mocking face of his. And the next thing Iruka knew, his fist collided hard with the jounin's left cheek and Genma was staggering backward gracelessly and unprofessionally to avoid falling hard on his ass. Iruka watched the stunned jounin as he regained his balance and if he hadn't been as angry, he would have found hilarious the man's flabbergasted expression. Obviously, some found it amusing as well because his fist had hardly landed on Genma's face that Asuma was bursting out laughing, his deafening laugh filling the room. The other nins joined him almost at once, laughing at the stunned jounin's priceless expression.

" _Fuck_ , what was that for?" the senbon-user asked while massaging his bruised cheek, bewilderment written on his features. "Fuck! It freakin' _hurts_!" Asuma and the others only laughed louder at that comment, soon grasping for air.

"T-the c-chuunin taught y-you a lesson, d-didn't he?" the bearded man managed to say between two howls of laugher, "Put youu - back to your p-place, didn't heeee-?"

"C'mon Genma - don't make that face - you _soooooooooooo_ had it comin'!"

Ignoring the whining jounin and his comrades' teasings, Iruka turned on his heels and walked to the exit, angry but strangely happy with himself to have shut up the loudmouth jounin. He was about to open the door and take his leave when his eyes fell on her. Just outside of the mission room, a few meters away from the door was standing Mitarashi Anko. Mitarashi Anko, one of the strangest, most disturbing and stubborn jounin of the whole village. Mitarashi Anko, well-known to be the the biggest party-organizer of all Konoha. Eyeing the road as if she was looking for something. Or someone.

Oh. _Shit_.

Iruka swore under his breath as he saw the jounin's head turn in his direction, ducking at once out of sight. "Hide me!" he barked to the rest of the room and people stoped laughing, staring at him with puzzlement. As quickly as he could, the brown-haired man made hand seals and he had barely finished a basic concealing jutsu that Anko was storming into the mission room, banging the door loudly behind her. Iruka hold his breath as he saw her eye the room sharply.

From up close, the purple-haired jounin looked like she had been rolled over by a bus: her hair was dirty, her skin was pale and she had shadows under her eyes the size of small plates. Obviously, she was still nursing a solid hangover from her last Christmas party. With narrowed, blood-shot eye, she gave the mission room a deep stare.

"Anybody's seen Umino Iruka?" she croaked to the quiet mission room and a few people looked up at her with mild curiosity, faking innocence.

"Umino Iruka?" Genma asked nonchalantly and Iruka felt his heart stop inside his chest; the jounin wouldn't betray him, wouldn't he? Even if he's just hit him, he wouldn't... Genma wasn't like that... right?

"Yeah, you know, that brown-haired chuunin everybody's fussed about. _Ponytail_ ," the woman grunted with impatience.

"Oh, him," the senbon user answered casually, "Nah, haven't seen him lately."

At those words, Iruka let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

The jounin grunted with annoyance. Then, she raised an eyebrow at him, looking curious. "What the hell happened to your face, Genma?"

"There was that kinky babe... 'packed quite a punch," the jounin explained lazily and Asuma couldn't help but snigger.

Anko snorted and turned on her heels, storming out of the mission room as quickly and loudly as she had come. From the corner of his eyes, Iruka saw her walking away, eyeing the road ahead of her, probably looking for a brown ponytail. When she was out of sight, the chuunin sighed with relief and dropped his jutsu, mumbling words of gratitude to the other occupants of the room for their discretion.

"What was that?" Asuma asked straightforwardly, looking mildly puzzled as he took out of his pocket a cigarette.

"Yeah, what does Anko-san want with you?" a desk nin Iruka often worked with asked, frowning. Then, his features turned into a slightly disgusted expression. "Surely enough, she doesn't want to _date_ you as well?" At those words, a few people grimaced; Mitarashi Anko was an extremely respected jounin, but her disturbing tastes and forceful ways were vastly known among Konoha's ninja community and the mere thought of going out with _her_ was disturbing enough to give a few of them nightmares, at the very least.

Genma had a surprising reaction; at the chuunin's words, he choked on his saliva and burst out laughing. "Anko d-dating Iruka? Are you _nuts_?" Genma exclaimed loudly. "Come on, isn't it obvious? Our little Iruka-kun is the main attraction in town! I bet she wanted to invite him to her New Year Eve party~!"

Suddenly understanding Anko and the chuunin's previous behaviour, the mission room occupants's expression switched from disgust and confusion to mild interest. Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose a bit akwardly, feeling like a 10 year-old who had been caught trying to steal cookies from the cookie jar for some unexplainable reason.

"It's probably open competiton to know who'll have him over for the New Year Eve!" a jounin chuckled with amusement.

"Yeah, a party with Iruka-sensei is sure to be a success. To have to most popular single man in town at your party... Imagine the prestige! He's sure to attract a lot of people."

"A lot of women, you mean!"

"A lot of _hot_ , _single_ women," Genma corrected playfully. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely going to the party where Iruka'll be!" A few men sniggered at those words.

"Yeah, where will you spend the New Year Eve Iruka-sensei?"

"Hum..." the chuunin hesitated, starting to feel a bit awkward with the whole discussion. "Well, I think I'd rather stay home-" the academy teacher was booed at by a couple of playful nins, Genma at their head.

"You mean you won't come _at all_?"

"Come on Iruka-kun, it's gonna be fun!"

"I'd rather skip, thank you very much," Iruka answered a bit more firmly, eyeing the exit.

"Com'on Iruka, you don't intend to disappoint all those single women, don't you?" Genma teased him with a smirk. "The New Year Eve party is the _perfect_ occasion for all those desperate women; they probably hope to get you drunk, make you believe you had an affair - or truly _have_ an affair with you - pretend to be pregnant afterward and force you to take responsability and marry them. Now just _how_ would they do that if you're not there?"

Iruka smiled a bit stiffly; he had to admit that although he had been joking, Genma was probably right about that. Which was actually quite scary when he thought about it... And he preferred not thinking too much about it, honestly. His life had become disturbing enough of late, thank you very much.

"From that point of view, I kinda understand you'd prefer to stay home," Asuma smiled sadly, "'Kinda scary..."

"Tell me, how come everytime we're talking about marriage you always end up finding things _scary_?" Genma asked the bearded man with that Chesmire cat smile of his and for a traitorous second, the cigarette-addict looked surprised. The next moment he was looking away, scowling, but it was too late - Genma had seen it and his grin widened.

"Hey, any cute, fine woman can get scarier than a drunk turned-on Anko when she starts thinking 'bout marriage and all that crap," the jounin grunted. "It's gotta affect their brain or something. Not that they aren't scary enough under normal circumstances..." Asuma trailed on and Genma's laugh filled the room. The senbon user tried to get closer to the jounin to pass his arm around his shoulder in a mock comforting way but Asuma pushed him away darkly, frowning to himself. Taking advantage of the group's newfound interest in Asuma's love life, Iruka subtly headed for the door, hoping nobody would notice him trying to sneak away: he'd rather skip the whole "convincing Iruka to go out on NYE" discussion if he could. But to his disappointment, Asuma called him back before he could even reach the door.

"Say, Iruka-sensei..."

"Yes?" he answered cautiously, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Maybe you should, you know... take a detour on your way home." Iruka stared at Asuma, puzzled, and the jounin looked away gruffly, "Because, you know... there might be, hum, someone waiting for you near the flowershop to invite you for her New Year Eve party..."

"Oh," Iruka breathed softly, catching on. "Yes, that would be a good idea, thank you," he said back to the jounin. Indeed, he could do without Kurenai-sensei harrassing him as well about her New Year Eve party. Especially since he owned her one from the time she had rescued him from that crazy jounin in heat… He didn't see how he could possibly turn her down after _that_.

Without further ado, Iruka nodded goodbye to the few occupants of the room, turned on his heels and headed for the door before anyone could call him back again. He hoped he wouldn't run into too many party-organizers on his way home. At least, not into Anko or Kurenai …!

"I bet she asked you to convince him to come, didn't she?" Iruka distantly heard Genma tease the other man as he was opening the door to leave.

"Hn."

"You're a very _bad_ future husband, you know that Asuma?"

"Shut up. You'd better _never_ tell her about this," the jounin threatened the rest of the room quietly. "And I'll let you know that we're NOT engaged."

Iruka didn't know why, but he couldn't help but snickers as he walked away.

Deciding that he wouldn't let those damn party-organizers harrass him any more than they already had, the academy teacher quickly walked to the small streets of the residential area, which was located on the opposite way to his appartment. He planned on using those streets to go to the north district, where he would use the 18th avenue, a small and usually deserted street, to gain the West area and then go home. Luckily, that ridiculously long detour would only cost him over 40 minutes of walk, but then again, he was willing to loose 40 minutes of his life if it allowed him to avoid Kurenai and Anko. The two women wouldn't expect him to use those roads to go back home… Or at least he hoped so.

His chain of thoughts was broken when he ran into four giggling young women who recognized him and skilfully cornered him. Twenty minutes, a lot of coy looks, a few lies and far too many apologies later, Iruka finally managed to walk away from the insistent women, feeling completely drained out by the exchange. On the bright side, he had managed to refuse all their date proposals _and_ remain collected and polite, which was quite an achievement by itself. But he was starting to feel the strain already and didn't know how he managed to not snap at them. Ibiki should consider hiring flirtatious, giggly women; they were a valid form of torture, he was sure of it.

To the chuunin's consternation, the sky and the streets were starting to darken. It couldn't be five o'clock already? He had left Kakashi home alone for far too long; what if the man needed his help? Feeling suddenly guilty and mildly worried, the chuunin walked faster, hoping that everything was alright.

The rest of his journey home went rather well - even if for a moment he had feared for his life when he had distantly heard Anko's distant voice cursing loudly, the woman too close for comfort. It was with a huge sight of relief that he reached his apartment at last, changing back into himself only after he had carefully locked and put several traps on his front door. He wanted nothing more than to let himself fall to the ground and stay there until his heart stopped to pound so hard in his chest, but he had more important things to do right then. Lighting up the now pitch-dark apartment, Iruka quickly went to the guest room.

"Kakashi?" he asked anxiously. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," came the slightly sleepy reply and Iruka let out a sight of relief, turning on the guestroom light to get a better view of the jounin and he saw him blink at the sudden brightness.

"Are you sure? Don't you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine," the Copy nin answered quietly, staring at the chuunin with his uncovered eye.

"Okay..." Iruka trailed on, rubbing his neck tiredly. Then, checking the time on his watch, the chuunin sighed again. "Okay. I'll start the dinner right away."

"Actually, I'm not that hungry," Kakashi cut him softly. "The dinner could wait a bit. Take a short break; you look tired."

Iruka blinked at him, surprised. "Oh," he muttered softly, feeling suddenly very stupid for some reason. Was he that obvious? Looking away, the chuunin scratched the bridge of his nose awkwardly.

"Yeah... I suppose so," the chuunin answered vaguely, feeling a bit at a loss for what to say, barely aware he had agreed with the jounin.

There was a strange silence between the two men, and then Iruka turned around to leave.

"Hum, do you want me to turn off the light?" he asked a bit hesitantly, feeling mildly ashamed to be thrown like that so easily by the man.

"Yeah, please do."

Iruka turned out the light and walked to the empty kitchen where he collapsed on the nearest chair, allowing himself a short break before he started to cook their Hokage-approved dinner. _What a day..._ He felt like he just came back from a one week field mission. To think he had to go through all that shit because he needed to hand that supid mission report in. He guessed that normally, that thought would make him want to give the Godaime a piece of his mind about those pointless reports, but he was far too tired to feel even a bit of aggressiveness stiring inside of him at the thought. He couldn't quite believe that the few hours he had spent out of his house could have possibly left his so exhausted: he was used to deal with twenty-five excited pre-genins five days a week dammit, a few invitations and close-called puisuit through the village couldn't be _that_ bad. He was tougher than that.

Recalling the events of the day in his silent kitchen, Iruka couldn't help but feel strangely empty and a bit confused when he remembered about what had happened inside the mission room.

He couldn't quite believe he had hit Genma.

The mere thought of it made him feel mildly guilty. Why had hit Genma...? Sure, he had a bad temper when he was angry, but he wasn't one to hit people like that. That wasn't him. When he was angry, he shouted at people, he glared... he didn't get physical. But then again, he hadn't been exactly angry at the man. Somehow he couldn't quite recall how he had felt when the man had insinuated that he was homosexual. What could have happened in his head back then...?

Why on earth did he hit him anyway? Genma _liked a laugh,_ for God's sake. Everyone knew that. It was common knowledge. People usually didn't even take him seriously. Knowing him, he probably hadn't meant it in a mean way. He was just _teasing_ him. And what he had told him hadn't been _that_ mean either... Yet, he had hit him. And in the middle of the mission room too. God, he'd be lucky if he wasn't reprimanded for his lack of control in a public area.

What would people think of him? What would his students' parents think if they heard that he had knocked a _jounin_ in the mission room because the man had made a joke about his sexual preferences? He was supposed to set an example... not to act like a ten year old to some higher-ranked officer's teasings. Besides, that was exactly the kind of reaction that would get people suspicious of his real sexual orientation.

Sighing, Iruka tried to see things under a brighter light: hopefully, people wouldn't focus too much on his immaturity and would focus on how a low-ranked chuunin had managed to land a hit so easily on Shiranui Genma. Not that it was really reassuring, but still. It was true that back then, people had been surprised he had managed to catch the jounin off guard so easily. They had found it funny, laughing of Genma's bemused face - or maybe his lack of skills, since he hadn't been able to dodge a _chuunin_ 's attack, which was in fact quite insulting. It wasn't because he had never passed his jounin exam that it meant he was a weakling who couldn't defend himself... He liked to think he wasn't appointed as a teacher for nothing.

In fact, the only thing truly positive about the whole fiasco was Genma's reaction; the man had seemed surprised by his attack, but hadn't seemed to hold a grudge against him for it. After Anko had left, the honey-haired man had talked to him as if nothing had happened, teasing him once again even though he had just been hit for it mere minutes ago. Now that he thought about it, the chuunin had never seen or heard of Genma holding a grudge against anybody; the man was always smooth and unconcerned about everything. Iruka guessed that he was used to get turned down violently by women he shamefully flirted with on daily basis. But still, there was a difference between getting slapped around the face by a furious woman one had been pursuing for three blocks or whispering obscene remarks to **and** having a man's fist slamed into one's face because of some inappropriate comment.

Mind you, if the jounin truly thought that he was gay, the difference probably seemed quite thin to him.

That thought made him feel uneasy for some reason. Did Genma _really_ think that he was homosexual? Just because he had turned down all those women? Because he had not felt truly attracted by any of them? But just like Asuma-sensei had said, the whole dating affair was enough of a turn off to explain his lack of interest... right? That didn't mean he was homosexual. Of course.

...And since _when_ had he even started caring about what Shiranui Genma thought of him anyway? He didn't give a shit about what that man thought! If he was stupid enough not to understand that even if you had a whole harem of cute single women at your feet, if the only thing they truly wanted was to marry you since you'd make a good father for the children they didn't want to take care of, it'd be normal not to feel turned on by any of them...! If Genma couldn't understand that then it was _his_ problem and _his_ alone!

But then a small, perfidious yet truthful voice inside Iruka's head reminded him that his lack of attirance for the fair sex wasn't anything new; well before that troublesome dating affair had started, he was already having that problem... Iruka frowned at that thought, suddenly feeling confused and mildly anxious.

True, he was not... particularly attracted to women, but didn't mean he was automatically gay. He refused to believe it. That didn't mean anything. He had never shown any... sing, any interest for males before. Never. So he couldn't be homo-

Then it hit him.

Hands.

Hands on his body. A _man_ 's hands. In that dream, that damn dream that had started everything...

Shaking his head violently, the chuunin tried to chase that stupid memory away; it didn't mean anything, it was just a _dream_...! A nightmare, even! It didn't mean anything at all. Really, he was being silly to fuss so much over it...!

Getting up, the chuunin walked to the fridge and busied himself cooking dinner, focusing acutely on his task to forget about those threasherous thoughts that had crossed his mind.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. Iruka cooked the dinner and then silently hand-fed the jounin. After helping the man to swallow his cranberry juice, the chuunin went back to the kitchen and started to eat his own meal in silence, staring at the fridge tiredly. The silence and the stillness that prevailed inside his apartment was boring, Iruka decided as he hate his last mouthful of rice, getting up to start washing the dishes. But at the very least, he wasn't being harrassed, insulted or chased around, so he guessed that boring was good.

As he was washing the dishes, his mind drifted back to the bed-ridden man in the room next to his and before he even knew it, Iruka found himself musing about Hatake Kakashi. Recently, the academy teacher realized, they had been getting along better - well they were still tense around each other of course, but... But somehow Iruka didn't feel the urge to make the man die slowly and painfully in some way or another everytime he saw him. Which was definitely an improvement. And he didn't feel quite as much angry with himself for his weakness or for caring anymore, which was definitely a **HUGE** improvement.

Of course, he still wanted to strangle the jounin when he made a fuss about being shaved but that _didn't_ count - Iruka had shaved the man everyday for over a week now, he should have gotten accustomed to it by now. Especially after the whole bathing affair; Iruka couldn't understand how Kakashi could still feel so uneasy about being simply shaved after _that_.

But on the whole, Iruka felt more... clement toward the silver-haired man. He didn't quite know how it had happened but... he knew that ever since the small Christmas party, it was as if... as if they had finally broken the ice. Or maybe it was because that party had helped him to realize that even though the Copy nin was a perverted werdo with strange social conceptions, he was still a human being. And a lonely one too. From that point of view, his situation was more pathetic than anything else.

Oh, he still resented the man for what he had done. No doubts about that. But he also understood. Understood that Hatake Kakashi was just another child who had grown far too fast, another soldier who had learned to fight before he had learned to express himself, and that he wasn't the one to blame for it. It wasn't his fault; he didn' know better. And although some part of him wouldn't admit, Iruka knew he had already started to forgive the man. But that bastard shouldn't be forgiven! He didn't deserve to be forgiven for wrecking his whole life during _weeks_ only because he hadn't known better and felt sorry about it! It would be far too easy.

Sighing, Iruka put away the last plate and started to absent-mindely walk through his small apartment. His relationship with the silver-haired jounin was so complex... When he thought he finally understood Hatake Kakashi and how he felt toward him, something happened and his whole conception of the man was turned upside down, and he had to start from the beginning once again. Always wondering what the Copy nin could be thinking in that little head of his and what he, Umino Iruka, felt about it. Even after all what had happened and what he had learn about him, somehow Kakashi still managed to remain a mystery to him. The fact that he was probably a mystery even to himself was only a small comfort.

Sometimes he wished he could just not give a shit about how he felt and why he felt like that, like many others, who lacked maturity and self-confidence to analyse themselves and realize that the world was not revolving around them. That things were rarely black and white. That the line between good and bad was tinner than people cared to admit, especially in a village full of killers who were trained to obey without asking questions. Sometimes he wished he could be that simple-minded; maybe it would make things easier for him. Hell, it would without any doubts make things a lot easier for him! But he wasn't like that. He had never been able to obey blindly and kill, it had never been... _him_. Maybe that was why he had never tried to become a jounin before. It was not that he didn't have the potential, unlike many of his chuunin colleagues who dreamed of nothing else than becoming more than a middle-ranked chuunin doing paperwork and non-important missions. If he put his mind into it, he was pretty sure he'd be able to become a jounin. But he didn't feel the need to. People often thought that he was still only a chuunin because he was lazy. Because he loved children too much. Because he couldn't free himself of his emotions, his doubts and fears. Because he was _weak_. Iruka didn't know for sure why he had never become a jounin, but he liked to think that those things weren't weaknesses. He liked to think that he was a man before being a soldier.

Okay, a lonely, boring and overworked man, but a man nonetheless.

While he was musing, his feet had led him to the guest room, and Iruka found himself watching the silver-haired jounin thoughtfully from the threshold. He wondered if Kakashi sometimes doubted. If he could be scared. If he could love. On the facade, the man seemed to be just a bored, nonchalant person, but what was under that carefully planned mask of his? Was he a soldier whose emotions had been numbed by the blood, or just man who had grown far too fast and still tried to figure out what it meant to be an adult?

Maybe this was what being a jounin was about. Learning to shut all the doubts and fears in and act as if everything was fine.

Iruka shut his eyes, rubbing them tiredly. He had to be _really_ tired to start getting so philosophic... He truly needed his bed. Opening his eyes again, his gaze fell on the jounin half-sitting, half-lying on his bed, staring silently at the wall in front of him. Waiting for sleep to come. And probably bored out of his mind. For some reason, the brown-haired man suddenly felt a bit bad for the jounin. After all, even though he was a social wreck and a complete jerk, Kakashi was still a man as well... And even if he was a complete moron, he didn't deserve to spend his whole days staring at the ceiling or the wall like that. To have nothing to look forward to except when he came to hand-feed him... It was just pathetic.

Inwardly wondering why he was bothering doing this to start with, Iruka walked to his bedroom and started to search through his small, overpacked wardrobe. He knew he hadn't thrown it away - he had bought it years ago because everybody had one, but had never really used it. It just wasn't his kind of thing. So in the end he had gotten tired of seeing it lying around in his living room and had decided to put it away. Moving a few dusty boxes, Iruka finally found what he had been looking for and without some difficulty, managed to get it out from the bottom of his wardrome. Carrying it to his kitchen table, he rapidly washed away the dust it was covered with, hoping it was still working after all these years. Hell, he had never used it; he didn't see how the damn thing couldn't work.

Going back to the guestroom, he gave the room a critical circular glance, wondering where he would put it. He had had that problem too when he had first wanted to install it in his living room; he had had to move around half of the furniture to finally find it a good place. One more reason why he had found the damn thing annoying.

Maybe if he moved the dresser to that wall... yes, that would work. He was lucky; it wouldn't be too complicated. He had feared he would be forced to move the bed...

Nodding to himself, Iruka rolled his sleeves and awkwardly took the large, empty dresser into his arms. Lifting it, he slowly moved it to the other opposite of the room, letting it fall to the ground loudly. Letting out a heavy breath, he backed down and eyed the dresser, happy with himself.

"Err, Iruka-sensei?" the jounin asked him hesitantly. "What are you _doing_?"

Ignoring the man's question, Iruka went to the kitchen to get it and brought it back into the guest room, putting it on top of the dresser. Plugging it in the nearby eletric plug, Iruka turned on the television and played with its small antenna to get a better reception. When he was satisfied with the image, the chuunin left the room, not even saying a word. The brown-haired man walked to his own bedroom and let himself fall into his bed heavilly, quite glad his day was over. In the darkness, he could hear the distant sound of the television playing in the guest room and sighed.

The jounin hadn't said a word as he had installed the television and quite honestly, he was glad for it. He hoped Kakashi wouldn't think he had forgiven him or something. Because he hadn't. It wasn't because he had lent him his television that it meant he wasn't angry with him anymore.

No, he was just... getting drifted away by the Holidays spirit, he guessed.

Sighing once again, Iruka suddenly felt very sleepy, and his bed seemed extremely comfy for some reason. And for once, he didn't care that some lights were still turned on, or that he was still fully dressed. He didn't even care that he hadn't brushed his teeth yet.

He just fell asleep.


	13. Brandon and Diana

A few days had passed by since Christmas. Kakashi didn't know how many - he only had a vague idea of how long he'd been caught in Iruka's guest room bed. Eight? Nine? Maybe ten days? The man sighed with frustration at the thought: under normal circumstances, he'd have no problem telling how long he'd been there, or what hour it might be, for instance. Being aware of those kind of things was a second nature to him; as the trained nin he was, it usually came to him naturally. But ever since he had been hospitalized, his brain seemed to have been having some difficulty with time perception in general. And he hated it. It made him feel lost and helpless not to be able to tell what hour it was when he woke up in the morning. And more importantly, how many days were left before he'd be able to go back home.

Maybe his time perception problem had something to do with the fact that his sleeping pattern was still troubled, as he spent most of his days sleeping - although he noticed with some satisfaction that he had stopped sleeping more than fifteen hours a day lately. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was hard to tell hours apart when the only thing you could do to entertain yourself was to stare at the ceiling. But things had changed recently, Kakashi reminded himself; he now had a television. It was a great change too - time seemed to pass less agonizingly slowly now that he had something to busy his mind on.

It was not the only thing that had changed. Lately, the Copy nin had noticed that Iruka and him were getting along better than before. It was not much, but they were less tense around each other. They even talked together sometimes. Of course, one could argue about whether or not commenting on the dinner menu could be considered a conversation, but still. To Kakashi, it was an improvement. He felt responsible enough for the man's sorrow that any kind of improvement of his mood was more than welcome. Besides, if Iruka-sensei's mood was improving in general, it could only be a good thing for him as well, right?

As to why there was less tension between them, it was a real wonder to the silver-haired man. Because in the past few days, Iruka had been barricading himself in his apartment. Logically, since the academy teacher hated him, confining himself into his apartment with him 24 hours per day should have made the chuunin at least a bit grumpier than usual. Logically. But instead of that, Iruka was more relaxed around him and his mood seemed to have improved. It was beyond Kakashi's understanding. Not rational at all. And he liked it when things were rational. But then again, it seemed as if nothing was rational when it came to Umino Iruka...

Indeed, there were a lot of things about Iruka-sensei that Hatake Kakashi didn't understand. In fact, it seemed that the more time he spent around the man, the less he understood him. For example, the jounin had no idea why, all of a sudden, the brown-haired man had decided to shut himself up in his apartment like that. He wouldn't leave home even to do the grocery - when he needed to buy something, he called Naruto and asked him to do it for him, a request the blond teen complied to eagerly in exchange of tickets for free ramen. Even though he was curious about that strange new behaviour, Kakashi hadn't dared questioning his caretaker about it; he didn't want to jeopardize the slight improvement in their relationship. It seemed pretty obvious to him that Iruka didn't want to talk about it anyway, so he didn't bring up the subject. But the jounin knew that there was something going on. Or at least he came to that conclusion when people started to knock at Iruka's front door and that the chuunin resolutely feigned not to hear their loud knocking. Kakashi understood that there was _definitely_ something important going on when people -from the sound of it, Anko and Kurenai were part of the gang- started to hammer Iruka's door in turn and yell at the chuunin through it, sometimes together, to try to force Iruka to answer them. Some tried to work their way in by the windows but unfortunately for them, the provident chuunin had them well-closed and trapped. At some point, they even started bickering together on Iruka's porch, using a variety of insults that impressed the jounin - he knew that Anko's insults were colourful, but was pleasantly surprised to discover that Kurenai didn't give her place either. But it got even more interesting when Iruka's outraged neighbours joined in; Kakashi had no idea that the middle-aged woman living in the apartment below Iruka's could make such an original use of the word "goat".

Obviously, those people, whoever they were, didn't know well the school teacher - because Umino Iruka _wasn't_ one to be rushed or pushed around. The louder they knocked, the firmer became Iruka's resolution not to let them in. But after three days of loud, annoying knockings, yells and neighbour telephone calls, the academy teacher snapped. He opened the door and screamed at the top of his lungs that he didn't care about their New Year Eve parties and that if they dared to say one more word about it, their toungues would have the occasion to met with his kunai set and be stuffed where the sun doesn't shine. Well okay, he didn't _quite_ phrase it that nicely, but that was the general idea. When the chuunin stopped yelling, the porch was miraculously silent again and Iruka slammed the door shut in their faces, satisfied.

Kakashi was quite glad he hadn't been one of the reckless jerks standing in front of Iruka's door at that precise moment because he knew only too well how scary the chuunin could become when he was angry. Most people thought that Umino Iruka was a patient, mild-mannered and mostly harmless man, but the rare people who truly knew him knew better than to make him loose patience. Obviously, those people, whoever they were, learned their lesson because they never came again to harass Iruka about New Year Eve parties or whatever what it had all been about. Well, it wasn't exactly true. Anko still came several times a day to Iruka's afterward, still trying to convince the brown-haired man to let her in. But as Kakashi - and the whole neighbourhood - soon discovered, it was not to invite the chuunin to her party, but rather to invite him to the restaurant, to the bar, to see a movie... and fuck senselessly after it of course - or in the middle of it if it turned him on, she didn't mind doing it in public, she had assured him boldly through the door. It was a shame really that Kakashi was confined to bed, because he would have loved to be able to sneak a peek at Iruka's face when the purple-haired woman cruised him from his porch - especially when she started to evoke all the "possibilities" his teacher status meant. Was his tanned face bright red from embarrassment or, on the contrary, was it drained from its color from mortification at the thought of _Anko_ lusting after him? The Copy nin, alas, never found out... He found the whole thing highly entertaining though. It was almost as distracting as reading Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi missed his porn. He _really_ missed it. Never, not even in his wildest dreams, had he imagined that he would become this dependent of it. It was probably because he knew the new sequel was there, laying on the working desk on his left, waiting to be read, that he longed for it so much. To think that there were only two meters separating him from knowing if the hero was going to be able to seduce the sexy blond-haired nurse he had met at the end of chapter 11... and if his brother would be able to finally free himself from the horny amazons who had captured him in tome 16. The bed-ridden jounin sighed at the thought. If only the book would be out of sight... But noooo, its rigid, shiny orange cover was right there in front of his eyes, as subtle as an elephant with a pink ballet skirt in the middle of the mission room. The silver-haired man sometimes wondered if Iruka had put it there on purpose, to _torture_ him... If he did, then Ibiki should definitely consider hiring the man because it damn worked.

For understandable reasons, the jounin hadn't dared to ask his caretaker to help him reading his brand new novel - if the way the chuunin had reacted when Naruto had given him the Icha Icha was any indication, it was as likely to happen as Maito Gai was to develop some sense of fashion. Plus, he didn't want to jeopardize the slight improvement in their relationship simply for a pornographic novel - as tempting as the said novel could be. So the whole subject was not brought up, and the shiny Icha Icha Paradise tome 18 continued to tease him from the corner of his eye on the working desk, along with the box of sweets Sakura had given him.

Fortunately, with the television Iruka had brought him a few days ago, he had something to busy his mind on that allowed him to temporarily forget how alluring his brand new Icha Icha was. Having a television was a good thing, even if he could only tune in two channels and that he had to ask Iruka to change them for him. Not that he often changed channels anyway, as the community channel was so depressing that he almost preferred watching the ceiling. At least, one couldn't expect a ceiling to be entertaining, so there was no chance of being disappointed there. So he stuck to the only other available channel, which programs were generally lacking of mentally stimulating elements but were at least a bit diverting. Kakashi only wished Catherina would stop crying all the time over Brad, the guy was such a jerk. And a coward too - no real man would do something like that to a woman. The guy seriously needed to have a kunai stuck in his throat, Kakashi mused as he watched with boredom a ridiculously enthusiastic woman ranting about the wonders about a potato-peeling plastic machine.

Somehow, the jounin had managed to get engrossed with those stupid soap operas playing in the afternoon, much to his horror. To think that he had nothing else to look forward to all day long than those lousy shows with their crappy decors and horrible acting... It was really pathetic. Kakashi kept on telling himself that this sudden interest in soap operas was due to the extreme boredom to which he had been confronted - after staring at the ceiling for one week straight mourning over one's mistakes, _anything_ was enthralling. Even those horrible soap operas. But even though he told himself that, he had not missed to notice how he watched them with shameful passion - a passion even extreme boredom could not explain. And much to his regret, Iruka seemed to have noticed it as well. He had at first hoped that the brown-haired man wouldn't notice it, but who was he kidding; how could his sudden addiction to soap operas have gone unnoticed to the chuunin? Iruka was a ninja; he was trained to notice things. And he hardly could have missed something _this_ obvious...

Kakashi felt embarrassed at that thought; it was already belittling enough to love _soap operas_ , he didn't need Umino Iruka, of all people, to know about it! What could the chuunin possibly think of him now that he knew that the Great Hatake Kakashi was hooked up on such lousy shows? He didn't even want to think about it... But although the jounin tried to push that thought in the back of his mind, a small annoying voice kept on telling him that his caretaker probably found it highly amusing to see the Copy nin sinking as low as to listen to soap opera like some old retired woman. And _enjoying_ it. More than anything, _that_ was what humiliated him. The thought of Iruka making fun of him. Mocking him. Despising him.

It humbled the jounin, but he guessed he preferred Iruka making fun of him than Iruka yelling at him, staring at him coldly or even simply ignoring his whole existence.

Definitely, Iruka laughing of him was a good thing.

 _God_ , he hoped the chuunin wouldn't tell Team 7, because they wouldn't let him live it down. Just imagining their reaction was making him shiver. But he had no way of stopping the academy teacher from telling them - he had no real blackmail material against the man. And _even_ if he had some, he would never dare to use it; after what he had done to him, Kakashi imagined that it would be only natural for Iruka to have a go at him if he wanted to. All the same, the knowledge that Iruka was now possessing blackmail material against him while he had none on the chuunin was bothering him a little... Okay, it bothered him a lot, but it was not like he had his say about it anyway.

Nervously, the silver-haired man passed in review all the blackmail material he had against his students - just in case the word of his new found taste for soap opera would reach their ears. He didn't need to worry about Sasuke; his knowledge of the young man's secret taste for romance novels would positively convince Sasuke to keep quiet about his own laughable tastes. Naruto wasn't a problem either; he remembered very well of a blond-haired genin, a dog _and_ bottle of peanut butter, and without any doubt Naruto remembered about it as well. As for Sakura, Kakashi knew things wouldn't be as easy. He could always threaten her to tell Sasuke that she had recently gone on a date with Lee - which was true, even if the pink-haired teen wouldn't admit it under torture - but even by his own standards, it was low. He would have to find something else...

His chain of thoughts was interrupted when he heard the now familiar song announcing the next instalment of his favourite soap opera and all thoughts of blackmail material were flown out of the window, Kakashi's attention going to the small television screen. The episode started off in the Lloys' family mansion with Brandon and Kelly - Kakashi wondered if it was humanly possible to have this much hair gel in one's hair for a fraction of a second, but he soon forgot about it as Brandon announced Kelly he loved twin sister Diana. _At least!_ It was about time; the guy had been cheating on her for three episodes already. And they were supposed to get married in five days too. The bastard. Not that Kelly was any better; Kakashi didn't understand how Bridget could forgive her for stealing her fiancé and ruining her father's company like that. And there was many clues linking her with Richardson's death too... But Kakashi couldn't help thinking that the real culprit was Brad. He didn't know why, he had a feeling that the brunette millionaire was hiding something to inspector Dallas.

The jounin was so engrossed in the show that he didn't even notice Iruka silently coming into the room. He almost had a heart-attack when the chuunin coughed discreetly beside him to get his attention. Adverting his gray eye to the brown-haired man standing a mere foot away from him, Kakashi fought back a blush - he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed the man's obvious presence and had been caught off guard. _Once again_. Damn.

"How are you feeling?" the chuunin asked with a straight face - if he found the man's laughable addiction to soap operas amusing, he sure didn't let it show.

"Fine," Kakashi answered soberly, his cheeks still feeling a bit warmer than usual. It really was in moments like those that the Copy nin fully appreciated all the advantages of wearing a mask.

"That's good."

Both man stared at each other silently, not knowing what to say to each other. Both wanting to break the silence but not feeling the need to add anything else. Those awkward moments seemed to take place more frequently than before, become slowly part of their daily routine. Kakashi wondered sometimes if Iruka came to check on his health because he was bored out of his mind or if his short visits were in fact attempts to start a discussion with him. If it was the latter, then he wasn't being really helpful. Not that he had any idea about what they could talk about: he still remembered painfully the one and only time he had tired - and failed miserably at - having a conversation with the chuunin. If talking about the weather counted as a real conversation. The _weather_...

They stared at each other for a while, the sound of the television filling the room in the background. When Kelly's particularly pronounced cry came to his ears, the jounin couldn't help switching his attention back to the small television. And it was just in time too, since mere seconds later the blonde announced dramatically that she was pregnant. To say that Brandon was shocked was an understatement. Or at least that's what one could understand from the sound of the music, because it didn't show much on his face due to the actor's laughable lack of talent.

"Wasn't he going out with the other blonde?" Iruka asked with slight confusion, as he was too watching Brandon's reaction.

"Yeah, he's dating Diana but he's engaged to her twin sister Kelly," Kakashi explained quickly, devouring the screen with his uncovered eye. "But I don't think Kelly's pregnant of him; she's been seeing David for the past four episodes already. Anyway the doctor said after her third miscarriage that she wouldn't be able to fall pregnant ever again, so she might just be lying about it."

His explanation was followed by a silence covered by the sound of Diana and Catherina's discussion, as the scene was now featuring the two women arguing in the lounge. As the blonde was about to finally tell her arch rival that they were in fact half-sisters, the sound of the woman's annoying voice suddenly died, the screen turning black. Kakashi blinked, stunned. What had happened to the television? Could it be a power breakdown? Or maybe the thing broke? That was his luck, really. Right in the middle of his favourite show. What a lack of timing!

Reluctantly glancing back at the brown-haired man, Kakashi's mouth dropped when he noticed the chuunin beside him was holding the remote control in his outstretched hand, pointing it toward the television in an unmistakable way. _No!_ That couldn't be!

"Hey!" the silver-haired man whined loudly. But Iruka totally ignored him, slowly putting down the remote back on the bed table as if he hadn't even heard him. Kakashi couldn't help but stare at the man helplessly, like a child whose favourite toy had been taken away in front of his eyes. The jounin wanted to protest, to say something, but he could only gape at the younger man silently, feeling betrayed. Was that Iruka's idea of revenge? Getting him addicted to lousy soap operas and then remove them from him just as Catherina announced Brad she was firing him and that Kelly discovered her fiancé was cheating on her with her sister? Icha Icha and now _this_?

When Iruka looked up, his brown eyes met with the bed-ridden man's and at the sight of the disconcerted man, a mix of sadness and mild amusement appeared on his features, to Kakashi's amazement.

"Why did you do that?" Kakashi asked weakly, feeling at a loss for some reason. The chuunin didn't answer right away: he stared at the Copy nin for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Because I think it's better that way for you."

"But!" the jounin protested with agitation, suddenly feeling more outraged than helpless, "I'm not moving! _See?_ Not moving!"

Iruka sighed heavily and somehow Kakashi was under the impression that the man was feeling pity for him - that, or that he was trying his best not to snap at him.

"It's just... that I don't think it would advisable for you to watch programs such as those. Those soap operas are so fake they're laughable and I wouldn't want you to start thinking of them as - hum - every day life situations."

Once again, Kakashi could only gape at the chuunin, incredulous. So _that_ was why he was deprived of his daily dose of Sunset Hill? Because Iruka feared he would take those stories seriously? Who did that man think he was, a six year-old?

"But I know - no woman could fall pregnant so often, it's _obvious_."

Iruka stared at the jounin, looking taken aback by the man's answer. He blinked once, twice, and then his face twisted in one of the weirdest expression Kakashi had ever seen.

"Err-" the academy teacher rubbed the nape of his neck with his right hand, looking a bit reluctant to speak out his mind. "I'm afraid it's more complex than that, Kakashi-sensei."

At those words, the chuunin turned on his heels, intenting to leave. Kakashi gaped at him, incredulous. That was all? He was shutting down his TV and leaving like that? For no reason?

"B-But!" the silver-haired man called back, "How am I gonna find out if Diana loves Brad? And if Lucy is going to survive her car accident?"

Iruka paused and slowly turned his head around. He gave the impotent man another strange look and then, for some mysterious reason, the corner of his lips twitched upward. Snorting softly to himself, the chuunin didn't answer and left without looking back, to Kakashi's bewilderment.

The ex-Anbu stared at the corridor Iruka had disappeared into for a moment, incredulous. It took him a few minutes to fully realize what had just happened. He didn't have a _clue_ why things turned out that way, but there was one thing that, after fifteen minutes of reflection, seemed obvious to him. And it was that there was no more television and that he wasn't about to have it back. Which meant...

Back to staring at the ceiling.

Oh joy.

After twenty minutes of pure boredom, the silver-haired man had to admit he had forgotten just how DULL staring at the ceiling was. There couldn't possibly be a worse way to spend a day. To think he had spent a whole _week_ with nothing else to entertain himself or look forward to than that plain, white ceiling. And Iruka's visits. Kakashi sighed at the thought. Made him almost wish that Anko would show up to annoy Iruka again: at least, there wouldn't be this unbearable silence. How could Iruka put up with silence like that all day long? Oh right, _he_ could read books. Damn lucky bastard. What a pain...

And it was even more of a torture with that shiny, bright orange cover teasing him on the desk. Only two meters away from him... No, don't think about it, the jounin kept on telling himself. Think of something else. Anything else... Kakashi sighed again, feeling defeated.

At least now he had all his time to find something to blackmail Sakura with.


	14. Of Snow and Rain

It was snowing on Konoha village. Not fat, fluffy snowflakes that we're used to see in movies, but tiny scattered ones getting easily scattered away by the cool breeze. Not the kind of snow that would last, alas - from the look of it, snow would turn into rain before midday. Iruka always had that strange, petty ability to predict weather. It was not a very helpful ability anyway for someone who didn't go on field missions often. He would have preferred to be a natural genius like Shikamaru or Kakashi... but given how both of them turned out, maybe he was better off with telling the weather, honestly.

The chuunin was glad the New Year was over, because now that all the fuss about NYE was over, things were back to normal - that is to say, as normal as things can be when you are the number one marriageable man in a small town, but still. At least now he could leave his apartment and walk in the streets again. Not that he had missed it much with that cold weather and all those annoying people bugging him, but he wasn't going to stay barricaded in his house forever - no matter how tempting it was when women eyed him out creepily like that. What did they all have to stare at him like that, he was only doing his grocery goddammit! The academy teacher sighed. He was already missing the time when Naruto did it for him while he stayed home... But it couldn't be healthy to stay confined home all the time: he needed fresh air. And besides, he couldn't keep on neglecting his training; he hadn't trained seriously in over a week and that wouldn't do if he wanted to stay in good shape. It was not because he was not doing a lot of field missions that he could let himself go soft - he still had thirty or so ninja wannabes to look after five days a week and that was worth a B-ranked mission anytime.

Maybe he could train a bit in the afternoon once it stopped raining - it would be messy, but he wasn't afraid of getting dirty. He had already handed in his mission report, all that was left to do was to buy some meat for the diner, pay for his grocery and then he could head back home -

"Good morning Iruka-sensei!" the fish saler, a jovial middle-aged woman, greeted him, effectively distracting him from his inner musings.

"Good morning Watachi-san," Iruka answered back with a strained smile, tired to be friendly to everyone who wanted to get his attention.

"What are you having today sensei?"

"Hum..." Iruka checked out the fish stall and saw a fresh-looking sole, "I think I'll take that sole please."

"The sole? Good choice sensei, good choice," the woman winked at him proudly and started to wrap the said fish for the chuunin. "My daughter loves sole too, you know."

"Is that so?" Iruka smiled weakly, knowing only too well where that discussion would lead. He should really avoid approaching middle-aged women if he could help it - they were by far the worse to get rid of. And they tended to get offended easily too...

"She's a lovely girl, you should really meet her, I'm sure you'd love her-"

"I appreciate the offer, but-"

"Her name's Fuyuko, you might already have met her; she works part-time at the drugstore near your apartment!"

Iruka mentally twitched at the thought that the whole village seemed to know where he lived. "Really?"

"Maybe I could arrange a meeting for you!"

"Oh, that's nice of you, really, but you see I'm not looking for someone right now..."

"You mean you found someone already?" the woman barked, looking both shocked and vexed by the sudden revelation.

"What? Oh, no! No, that's not what I meant!" Iruka denied hastily, cautious not to anger the bossy saleswoman.

"Then you're gonna meet her?"

"Err-"

"You have so many things in common! I'm sure you'd get along well!" Watachi-san pressed on louder, ignoring Iruka's refusal.

"Well, you see-"

"She's so kind and patient and smart - and lovely with children, lovely!"

"How much do I owe you?" Iruka asked weakly, getting a bit desperate to pay his fish and get out of there as soon as possible.

"And she's a wonderful cook too! You'd make a sweet couple, I'm telling you-!"

"AH! Now that's a real laugh!" a random customer suddenly cut in, "Your daughter, dating the good Iruka-sensei?" An alarm bell rang inside Iruka's head - he had a distinct feeling that things would soon go downward...

"Perfectly well!" the saleswoman replied irritably, her huge chest swelling with pride.

"You mean that lazy, good-for-nothing? That blockhead girl who had to take the chuunin exam 4 times before being admitted in? Iruka-sensei deserves better than that!" the mousey-haired customer said powerfully and Iruka gaped, appalled. He couldn't believe he was witnessing this.

"Don't you dare speak evil of my daughter!" Watachi-san hissed dangerously, "Not good enough for Iruka-sensei? Then maybe your fat pig of a daughter would suit him better, huh? I'm afraid Iruka-sensei has better taste in women than that!"

"Now, now, ladies..." Iruka tried weakly to pacify things, eyeing uneasily the small crowd the argument had attracted. But the two women seemed to have long forgotten him, as if it all didn't even concern him.

"Well I'm sorry, but I didn't know Iruka-sensei to be one to favour looks over intelligence," the woman spat back venomously, "Mina might not be a top-model, but she definitely has brains, unlike that slutty little idiot of yours!"

"What?"

"Look at yourselves, making such a pathetic show," a nearby fruit seller cut in loudly, disdain dripping from her voice. "I don't see how Iruka-sensei could be interested in any girl whose mother have such rude manners. At least my daughter-"

"Your daughter? Your daughter?" Watachi-san bit back, "Well let me tell you one thing about your daughter! If she was stupid enough to go out with a sand nin and fall pregnant, it's her damn problem! But to try to seduce Iruka-sensei into marrying her to save the appearances-!"

The woman blanched. "H-how can you say such - such horrible lies?"

"Oh, come on," the mousey-haired customer replied with irritation, "It's all over the town, there's no point trying to hide it!"

"And everybody saw her too making a fool of herself in front of the good sensei, faking to have sprained her ankle...! To use Iruka-sensei's kindness against him like that to save the appearances, it makes me sick!"

"You're talking like you didn't push your own daughter to go out with him because your business's going bankrupt and you need money!" the fruit merchant barked angrily, pointing the chubby woman with her skinny finger.

"How dare you - you! - you bitch!" the saleswomen shouted, swinging Iruka's half-wrapped fish over her head to slam it into her interlocutor's face, but accidentally hitting the customer she had been arguing with previously. The said woman squealed with surprise before letting a small outraged cry and launching herself on the saleswomen, aiming for the hair. During that time, the fruit seller started throwing oranges and apples at the two with the precision of a five year-old, hitting accidentally a few spectators. Iruka dodged an apple and decided that the merchant could keep her fish - the diner could be damned, he was getting out of there.

The chuunin made his way through the small crowd the argument had created and rapidly headed for the market place's exit, trying his best to go unnoticed. He'd had enough social exposure for the day, thank you very much. To think those women actually fought over him - and in the middle of the crowded market place moreover! This was crazy! The New Year Eve party organizers and now this! Was the whole village turning insane or what? He was only an average-looking, low-ranked and quite ordinary single man for God's sake, not some handsome multi-millionaire genius or something! It was going too far... Really too far.

...He'd have to start henging himself into someone else when he went out.

It was not an idea the chuunin was very fond of - using henges to avoid suitors and their tenacious mothers, it seemed... a bit much. He kept on telling his students not to waste chakra pointlessly and to use ninjutsu only when it was absolutely necessary, but now he was considering henging himself to do his grocery because he wanted to avoid being asked out. What a wonderful example he was setting for his students...! But he guessed that he didn't have the choice anymore. Not with what just happened... No, not with people starting to fight over him like that. Things had gone far enough already, he wouldn't let the situation worsen. If he stopped making public appearances, things were ought to cool down, right? Right.

At that moment, the brown-haired man promised himself that if the situation didn't improve within another week, he'd ask for a long-term mission very far away and wouldn't come back before a few months, students or not.

The chuunin sighed with relief when he walked out of the market place, glad nobody else had tried to convince him to accept a date. Unfortunately, his relief was rapidly forgotten when he felt small raindrops hit his face; it appeared that while he had been doing his grocery, snow had turned into rain. Iruka inwardly groaned; he had known it would rain, but if he had known it would start raining so early he would have brought an umbrella with him... Damn. He was going to get wet. But on the brighter side, there wouldn't be many people lingering in the streets, which meant that there would be less people annoying him.

It was almost worth getting wet.

Sighing in resignation, Iruka walked with a rapid pace, wondering what he was going to make for diner... Mhhh, maybe he could cook the chicken he had planned to serve for lunch tomorrow. But no, he didn't want to change his plans for the week just because their dinner was currently being used as a weapon by three very perturbed - and perturbing - women. Maybe he could just make a vegetarian meal and serve vegetables with rice or noodles. Or a soup, maybe. It's been a while since the last time he'd make a soup...

Iruka was half-way home when something distracted him from his musings about his weekly dinner planning. In front of him, a lonely wet cardboard box stood in the street. Iruka approached the brown box slowly, wondering who would leave a box like that in the middle of the street - from the look of it, it was probably a trick or a joke made by Konoharu and his little gang. It was their style to use a simple box and put something really disgusting or perverse inside in a residential area just for the fun of it. Iruka wondered when they would grow out of it... Cautiously, the chuunin peered inside the box, expecting to find... well, anything really, coming from those you never knew. But to say that he hadn't been expecting what was inside of the box was an understatement.

Inside of the damp cardboard box there were two tiny, barely breathing kittens.

Iruka stared at the two small balls of damp fur, feeling mildly shocked and angry at whoever had been heartless enough to leave those out in the middle of the street. In January, moreover! Those poor kittens -from the look of it, they were barely three-week old- were out to freeze to death in that weather - especially under the chilly rain like that. They could have at least brought them to a nearby petshop or something! Iruka really couldn't believe how cruel and careless people could be.

The chuunin shivered; he was starting to get soaked, and it wouldn't do to stand in the rain like that for too long or he would catch a cold. Looking around, Iruka hesitated. He just couldn't leave the kittens in the middle of the street like that, but he couldn't exactly take them to the petshop right then - it was located at the other side of town and he'd probably catch a pneumonia before he reached it. And besides he had to drop his grocery home before doing anything else. But he couldn't, he wouldn't abandon them out in the rain like that. Of course not. He'd drop his grocery home, check on Kakashi, put on dry clothes and come back for them with his umbrella and bring them to the petshop. Iruka sighed wearily at the thought; sometimes he wondered if it truly paid off in the end to be a good guy. Because so far it hadn't done him any good...

Iruka put down his grocery bags and took the box in his hands, moving it to the side of the road, where it was at least sheltered from the rain - not that it changed anything, since the kittens were already soaked to the bone, but it was better than just leaving them freeze to death in the middle of the road. Then, brown-haired man grabbed his bags and turned around to head home, but somehow he couldn't help but glance at the box one last time before leaving. The two wet kittens lying motionlessly at the bottom of their damp cardboard box were truly a sad and pathetic sight. Now that he remembered, they had barely moved when he lifted the box too. The poor things were probably suffering of hypothermia. No wonder, with that chilly rain... The chuunin felt suddenly awfully guilty for letting them out in the cold, even if it was only for fifteen minutes. They might be dead when he'd come back for them in fifteen minutes, for all he knew...

...

Ah, damn. Next time he saw the Hokage, he was definitely asking her if it was possible to remove with surgery this annoying "good guy" part. With a half-amused, half-bitter snort, he wondered what kind of reaction the village's leader would have.

"Well... What are you going to do from now on?"

"I don't know... I guess I'll find my own path someday."

"Are you sure about this? Maybe you should give it a second thought."

"I know. We had so many beautiful moments here... Those walls are full of them. But all those happy memories belong to the past. I know deep down somewhere that I'll never be able to let go if I stay here, dwelling on the past."

Kakashi sighed loudly, bored out of his mind. He watched Justin hammering in a big red "For sale" poster in front of his house with total disinterest, wondering when the damn movie would end - he didn't know for how long the thing had been playing, but it seemed like an eternity for the Copy nin. The movie was by far the most boring and depressing one he had ever seen - and that was saying something, since the ones Iruka had been forcing him to watch ever since he came home with that evil DVD thing were atrociously dull. If at least they were just boring... but no, those movies were sad, incoherent, incredibly complicated and boring. There was no action, no plot against other characters and no scandals; people kept on talking, saying all kind of incoherent and complex stuff about feelings and relationships. And when they were not talking, they were just standing there in silence or gazing at something afar, just like Justin was doing at that precise moment.

Although he didn't want to admit it, Kakashi often had difficulties understanding what was truly going on in those, which was frustrating since he was Genius Sharigan Hatake Kakashi and Genius Sharigan Hatake Kakashi did NOT like to not understand things. This kind of situation made him feel angry at the damn stupid movie for being so pointlessly complex and angry at himself for not understanding the damn thing.

What was the point of being a genius anyway if he couldn't even figure out a mere movie, for God's sake?

He had to admit that watching movies, no matter how dull and frustrating they were, was better than staring at the ceiling all day long. But he still didn't understand why he couldn't have back his soap opera instead of those. He had asked Iruka several times, but the man kept on insisting that that watching 'trash like those shallow and sappy soap operas' was bad for him. Damn stubborn chuunin. Kakashi had no idea why he hated soap operas so much...

Fine if Iruka-sensei didn't want him to watch soap operas; he could deal with it. But he could at least pick up good movies! The ones he kept on borrowing at the local video store were simply dreadful. Of course, the silver-haired man hadn't dared to speak his mind out about that point. What if the chuunin intentionally chose the worst movies he could think of just for the pleasure of torturing him? If it was the case, then he was better off avoiding the subject altogether. But that theory didn't make much sense, because if Iruka had truly wanted to make him miserable, he could have simply left him staring at the ceiling all day long. That would have done it. But instead the academy teacher chose to have him seeing those movies. So the only other logical explanation for Iruka's horrible choice of movies was that he actually liked those. But then again, what kind of person would want to spend his or her free time watching something that requested such a high level of mental concentration just for the fun of it? Getting all confused or crying over a mere fiction? He didn't know for Iruka, but that was definitely not his definition of leisure.

... Not that he had actually cried when Sarah had helped her invalid mother to suicide. Of course not. His eyes might have gotten a bit wet - but he hadn't cried - Anyway, that was beside the point; the fact was that it was not fun to feel like crap because of a stupid movie. He had felt like crap enough like that in his life...

That was what leisure was about. Forgetting about how your life sucked and how crappy you felt, even if it's just for a short while. Forgetting about your pain, your sorrow, your guilt... Not because you wanted to forget about them, but simply because you knew that if you kept thinking about them all the time it would affect your mental sanity. That was what leisure was about. Not about watching movies making you feel crappy for the fun of it. One really had to be a masochist to watch angsty movies such as those in their free time and actually like it.

The silver-haired man sometimes wanted to complain about Iruka's choice of movies, but the man had made it pretty clear that he didn't have much choice: it was his movies, or the ceiling. Which explained why he was currently watching Justin staring at his and his ex-girlfriend house.

... Kakashi didn't understand why they guy was making such a deal about it; his girlfriend didn't like him anymore, so what? He just had to leave her and get a new one. See? No big deal.

He could understand the part about selling the house, though. When his father had died... he had tried to stay in the Hatake mansion, but after a while he just couldn't stand it anymore. Every time he came back home, he felt like living that day again... So he sold it in the end. But he guessed that it wasn't the same thing; after all, Justin hadn't come home to find his girlfriend lying in a pool of blood...

He'd have to talk to Iruka about this. Those movies couldn't be good for him if they reminded him of it... Because it was one thing to feel bad about things you've done wrong, but it was another to feel bad about things you had no control upon. The latter was unhealthy. Maybe he could politely suggest his caretaker to choose less depressing and angsty movies...

As Justin was finishing packing away his clothes, Iruka came in. Kakashi heard him put down the grocery noisily in the kitchen and expected the chuunin to walk to the guest room an poke his head through the doorway to ask him if he needed anything, like he always did. Kakashi was surprised however when the chuunin didn't stop by and went straight to the bathroom without even glancing his way.

How unusual.

After a while, the sound of the shower spray reached his ears and Kakashi could only guess that the academy teacher had had a sudden urge to shower. It was intriguing him, but the jounin guessed that Iruka's body hygiene wasn't his business. Gazing back at the small television, Kakashi tried not to focus too much on the distant sound of the shower and focus on the movie, which soon proved to be a lost cause.

For what seemed to him like hours, the apartment remained silent except for the sound of the shower and of the credits playing in background, the movie having ended at some point during the chuunin's shower. Sighing, Kakashi listened to the music with boredom, suddenly feeling tired for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the movie had been particularly boring, or maybe it was just because the sound of the music soothed him, but his eyelids seemed to become increasingly heavier... Yawning, Kakashi guessed it wouldn't matter much if he closed them for a short while...

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei...?"

The sound of Iruka's voice shook the sleepy jounin awake brutally, leaving him a little confused. It took him moment to gain back some focus on reality and realize the chuunin was standing in front of him and, moreover, that he was talking to him. His still a bit foggy mind then registered that there was something wrong with Iruka. Something in the tone of his voice, which had been hesitant and mildly sheepish, was wrong. And so was the look on his face, which was one of embarrassment and helplessness, emotions the elite jounin had rarely seen on the man's tanned face, let alone directed at him. That was when Kakashi's brain caught on and he realized that those were not the most out-of-place things about the man standing in front of him.

"Iruka-sensei, are those kittens?" he asked, incredulous.

The brown-haired man sighed. "I found them on my way home - someone had left them out in the rain, they were freezing out..." The chuunin trailed on hesitantly, looking at the two kittens resting in his muscled arms. Kakashi understood with that uneasy silence that the man had no idea what to do of them now. The sight of the academy teacher worrying over stray kittens was, in a way, endearing and somehow Kakashi couldn't suppress a small smile.

"Let me give them a look," he offered, "I'm used to taking care of animals."

At those words, Iruka looked mildly relieved and he sat down beside the jounin, bending forward carefully to show him the two still damp kittens. The black one stirred a bit when moved while the other one remained still, which seemed to worry the chuunin.

"They're really young - probably aren't even weaned yet. You said they were under the rain?"

"Yes," the chuunin explained quietly, "They were doing hypothermia, so I brought them home and washed them with hot water to warm them up, but the smaller one seems still frozen..."

"Yeah," Kakashi said thoughtfully. Then, he felt frustration stir in him. If at least he could move his body, he would be able to grab the kitten and feel it in his hands; he'd have a better idea of how it was. How he hated his current situation... "Put them under the cover with me; my body warmth will warm them up."

"Right," the chuunin nodded gravely, grabbing the kittens so cautiously Kakashi thought he was afraid of breaking them and putting them on the silver-haired man's lap, making sure that their little faces were not too much under the blankets so they could breathe freely.

"There, it should be alright," the Copy nin said, "now let's just let them warm up and they should be feeling better by the end of the afternoon. They'll probably be hungry by then too. You'll need to hand-feed them."

"I don't intend to keep them, I just took them home because they probably wouldn't have lasted the walk to the petshop," Iruka admitted a bit sheepishly, cracking a small sorry smile as he stared at the two little kittens poking their heads out of the covers. For some reason, Kakashi felt like he was watching something he wasn't meant to see as Iruka's features softened and he looked away, feeling uneasy.

The silence stretched between the two men, like it always did when they didn't know what to say to each other anymore, and Kakashi knew that Iruka would soon get up and leave, like he always did in those kind of awkward situations. And he'd be left alone, with only the sound of Iruka's footsteps to distract him from his loneliness. Once again.

Kakashi didn't know why, but somehow he didn't want the brown-haired man to leave this time. No, not just yet. If only the teacher could stay just a little longer... He knew it was childish of him to wish for such a thing, because the chuunin was ought to leave him sooner or later, but... somehow the man's presence was reassuring him. He didn't know when it had happened: he used to be feeling so uneasy when the chuunin was around - and he was still to some point. Yet, now he didn't want him to leave anymore. He'd need to add this to the number of things he didn't understand about Umino Iruka.

When the chuunin seemed to be about to sit up, the silver-haired felt his chest tighten and to keep the man by his side, he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"I haven't heard of Anko in the past two days," Kakashi heard himself say. The words were hardly out of his mouth that the jounin wanted to bang his head against the nearest hard surface in frustration. Reeeaaal nice. Of all the things he could have talked about, he had he managed to pick up a subject that was sure to make the chuunin uneasy and that made him sound like a real bastard. Nice work, really.

At least, Kakashi tried to see things under a positive light, he had not asked him about the weather again. That was already an improvement. Or something like that.

The Copy nin inwardly sighed with relief when Iruka didn't retort him an angry or bitter line; instead of looking discontented like Kakashi and expected him to, the academy teacher was looking sheepish again, blushing slightly to the jounin's surprise.

"Well, it appears that some neighbours complained about her speeches, er, disturbing their children," Iruka took a pause for good measure, his blush spreading rapidly on his tanned cheeks at the memory of the woman's blunt words, "and had gotten an injunction forbidding her to come any closer than 400 meters away from the apartment block."

Kakashi blinked at the chuunin as he proceeded the information in. Anko, the blood-loving sadist who managed to scare most of the nins in town with that twisted, perverse smile of hers, being officially forbidden access to the whole South area of the town by the Hokage herself because she offended Iruka's mostly civilian neighbours. That notion was so that the Copy nin couldn't help but snickering discreetly. Iruka must have noticed the man's amusement, because he looked away, coughing discreetly. But although he tried to hide it, Kakashi had not missed the academy teacher's amusement: from the corner of his eye, he could see that Iruka was also smiling, obviously holding back his own laughter.

Somehow Kakashi's snicker turned into a low, amused chuckle and Iruka soon joined him, indulging into his amusement. Before they even knew it, both men found themselves laughing softly together of Anko's funny situation and for a small, precious moment, it seemed as if the tension between the two ninja had disappeared, as if they were not two men troubled by issues they didn't understand and that plagued them, but old friends sharing a mildly amusing joke in a relaxed atmosphere.

Then, Iruka suddenly stopped chuckling and his eyes widened comically.

"The dinner!" the chuunin checked his watch and swore loudly in a very un-Iruka-ish way and the next thing Kakashi knew, the brown-haired man was gone, rushing to the kitchen. The jounin stared dumbly at the place where Iruka's back had disappeared from sight, stunned. A mere second ago, they had been together, laughing lightly and then crash! Reality came in, and Iruka was gone. He should have known it wouldn't last long... But for some reason, even though Iruka's hasty departure left Kakashi empty, the jounin couldn't wipe the smile off his clothed mouth. So he found himself smiling stupidly at the blank television in front of him, wondering why he was smiling in the first place.

Kakashi didn't know if he was feeling sad or amused, and he didn't know why he didn't understand what was going on in his own head either. But it didn't matter much. In fact, it had long stopped to matter to the silver-haired man. He had come to understand and accept this bittersweet predicament as something beyond his understanding. Something that just was. That was the way things were meant to be and all he could do was to learn to cope with it.

From underneath the blankets, a kitten could be heard letting out a tiny, high-pitched meow of either protest or fear. Kakashi could easily understand why. The poor traumatized thing had been brutally taken away from its mother to be abandoned in the cold mercilessly, caught in a situation he didn't even understand, weak and helpless. The jounin wished he'd be able to pat it, to comfort it in some way, but he couldn't. Kakashi snorted at the irony, because when it came down to it, he was just as helpless as the scared furball was.

At least, the kitten could cry out in protest. He wasn't expected to always remain stoic. He wasn't expected to be strong and unshakable, no matter what happened.

But Kakashi didn't worry too much over what scared the kitten so much. Because he knew that sooner or later, he'd learn to cope with it.


	15. Of Porn Novels Part I

"Hn... what about Lily?"

"No."

"Pussy?"

"No."

"Neko-chan, then? It'd be nice, wouldn't it?"

" _No_."

"Hey, I know, I know! Let's call her r-"

"Naruto, for the sixth time, we're _not_ calling her ramen."

Leaning on the guestroom's doorway, Iruka chuckled under his breath at the cute scene before his eyes. The two inert kittens he had picked up a few days ago were not so inert anymore, happily exploring Kakashi's bed as fast as their short legs allowed them to and randomly using the Copy nin's covered feet as chewtoys. Around the bed stood Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura, who were watching the two playful furballs devour Kakashi's feet while arguing over the names that should be given to them with a seriousness that reminded Iruka of his seven year-olds when they had to choose a name for the class's guinea pig. The brown-haired man couldn't help but smile at the heart-warming scene, yet such a sight made him feel nostalgic - he remembered a time, not so long ago, when the three teens were still young and innocent, the only preoccupation on their mind being the next exam they had to study for... But the three teens were hardly seven year-olds anymore, if Sasuke and Naruto's height - they were both nearly as tall as him - and Sakura's generous curves were any indications. Time passed by so fast...

"Why not? It's a cool name!"

"We're _not_ naming a cat after fast food," Sasuke said sternly as he let the black-haired kitten play with his outstretched hand.

"I agree with Sasuke-kun," Sakura nodded seriously, glancing lovingly at the raven-haired young man, "We have to give them proper names!"

"'Figures, you always agree with Sasuke," Naruto murmured under his breath, and from the nasty look the pink-haired teen gave him, he would have earned himself a nice bruise behind the head if Sakura hadn't wanted to make a good impression in front of her ex-teacher. But the blond teen didn't seem to mind - he seemed to have gotten used to the kunoichi's glares and punches over the years. Or, more accurately, he seemed to have long gotten over his crush for the green-eyed girl.

"What about the gray one?" Iruka asked playfully, "Have you found a name for that one yet?"

Sakura nodded, smiling with a somewhat childish enthusiasm that made her look much younger. "We're still hesitating over Furball, Mouse and Dust."

" _And_ Chopsticks!" Naruto added with a goofy smile.

"I thought we already went through this," Sakura scolded her teammate, "we're not calling him _chopsticks_ , for God's sake!"

"Hey, it's not a fast food name now, isn't it?" Naruto replied stubbornly and Sakura let out a sigh of frustration. In his corner, Sasuke could be seen rolling his eyes with annoyance, but it wasn't clear if he was most exasperated at the ramen-obsessed teen or the bossy kunoichi. If Iruka had to take a wild guess, he'd say it was both.

"Naruto, there's no point trying to teach them a name yet if their owner decide to change their names because they're too _stupid_ ," Sakura pointed out dryly, crossing her arms.

" _They're not stupid!"_

"Yes, they _are_!"

"So you still haven't found owners for them yet?" Sasuke asked the academy teacher in what Iruka clearly understood to be an attempt to escape a fifth argument about whether or not Naruto's names were stupid.

"I'm afraid not," Iruka sighed, "I've called everyone I know, but nobody's interested in taking care of a cat, especially kittens this young. Of course I could announce it in the paper or something... but I don't want to make it, er, _too_ public..." the chuunin trailed on, rubbing his neck with mild embarrassment.

"Good thinking, with all those crazy people stalking you! We wouldn't want you to end up with bad owners, nee, ramen?" Naruto asked playfully the black kitten, who was still engrossed with Sasuke's thumb.

"We're _**not**_ calling her ramen."

"Why don't you just drop them at the pet shop?" the kunoichi suggested politely, "Surely enough they would take good care of them and find them decent owners."

"Er, well..." Iruka looked away uneasily, inwardly cursing his bad luck. He had hoped they wouldn't bring the subject altogether, but it seemed his hopes had been vain. But before he could even come up with a plausible lie, the Copy nin spoke up.

"Because the place's owner said he'd accept them only if Iruka-sensei dated his sister," Kakashi answered flatly and Naruto and Sakura burst out laughing. Even Sasuke could be seen smiling slightly in his corner at the answer. From the threshold, Iruka felt his cheeks heating up with embarrassment; this was exactly what he had wanted to avoid to start with...

"I didn't know sensei was this popular!" Sakura giggled, her eyes glinting with sudden interest - Iruka guessed it was the gossiper in her who was already feasting up on that information.

"Iruka-sensei is so popular people are fighting over him!" Naruto joked loudly, a comment that made the chuunin smirk darkly, since the blond teen didn't seem to realize how right he was on that one.

"Well thank you for your discretion, Kakashi-sensei," the chuunin said with sarcasm, giving him a half-hearted glare. Under normal circumstances, he might have felt annoyed at the man for revealing that small piece of information he wanted to keep for himself, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to feel angry with the Copy nin. Not with the way it happened. He still remembered vividly how the jounin found out about it...

The petshop owner first had told him that he couldn't take the kittens since he didn't have enough room for them. The brown-haired man had frowned, pointing out that there were no cats in sale. Then the owner had served him a stream of rather pathetic excuses about how he's had to take care of his little nephew ever since his sister had lost her husband in a mission the previous summer and when the academy teacher had thought that there was no point trying to convince the man, the owner started telling him that he might do him a favour if he did him one in return.

When Iruka had caught on what the man implied, he had first thought he was pulling a bad joke on him. Nobody in their right mind would try to _blackmail_ him into dating someone, right? But as it soon became clear that the owner wasn't joking, Iruka had felt so indignant that he had turned around and left the place without even saying a word. And it was a good thing too because he hadn't quite trusted himself not to snap at the middle-aged man back then. He had then stormed home angrily, feeling murderous as he recalled all the ridiculous things that kept happening to him ever since that stupid dating affair had started, anger spreading through him like wildfire. Once he had reached his apartment, the chuunin had violently slammed his front door shut to take out some of that frustration, but it seemed to have only made matters worse, leaving him boiling with fury. Anger blinding him, his feet had led him to the guest room and before he even knew it he had been standing in front of the Copy nin, glancing at him darkly, feeling ready to take out his anger and his spite on the silver-haired man. The invalid jounin had stared back at him with astonishment and upon seeing the jounin's innocent surprise, Iruka had managed to bite back his anger.

The academy teacher had good reasons to hate the silver-haired man, yet that hadn't felt right. It had nothing to do with Hatake Kakashi, Iruka had told himself, so he had to act like a mature man and keep Hatake Kakashi out of this. With all the restraint he could muster, Iruka had put the box containing the kittens on the corner of the bed and was about to leave the guest room, intending on putting on his traning kit and heading for the training ground where he could get rid of his frustration, when the jounin, the so-called _genius_ Hatake Kakashi did something incredibly stupid.

"Iruka-sensei, is there something wrong?"

That was the last straw. Iruka had felt something snap in him at those words and the next thing he knew, he was vomiting all his anger on the Copy nin. Screaming incoherently about arrogant pet shop owners, crazy middle-aged women throwing apples at each others and clingy and opportunist women stalking him as soon as he stepped out of his apartment like he was something special. Ranting about how all this attention was driving him mad, putting his nerves on the edge every time he felt their eyes on him. Shouting about all those egoist jerks who didn't give a shit about who he was and what he wanted, about how he'd had enough to be a good guy. Screaming so loudly that he was quite sure his voice could be heard three blocks away, but he didn't care. The only thing that had seemed to matter at that precise moment had been to let out all that frustration he'd been repressing for weeks.

The brown-haired man had screamed and screamed until he couldn't find anything to scream about anymore. He had then panted for air, suddenly feeling himself deflating. That was when the harsh reality had fallen on him as he realized with a start he had been venting his all frustration and resentment for the past week on Kakashi. At once, the chuunin felt something sink inside of him; he couldn't believe he had snapped like that... How immature. And in front of Hatake Kakashi, too; to an important and powerful nin such as him, such issues probably seemed pretty irrelevant. Childish, even. Iruka had then realized how much his previous outburst had been alike to a spoiled kid's little tantrum and even though he hadn't thought it was possible, his heart had sunk even lower.

At that precise moment, Umino Iruka had wanted to hide from embarrassement and shame. His bed had seemed like a good option; hell, even the wardrobe would have been good option back then. But the little pride he still had left ordered him to stay there and wait for the jounin to denigrate him or just tell him that he couldn't care less about Iruka's childish insecurities and hurt self-esteem, like he had every right to.

To his surprise, those words had never come. Instead, the jounin had said only one thing.

"Feeling better now?"

The chuunin had stared at the Sharigan user stupidly, and for a second time in less than an hour, he had felt himself deflating again. Feeling strangely numb, Iruka had swallowed and nodded dumbly. He remembered feeling immensely relieved the jounin didn't think he was overreacting or was being childish and hadn't used the occasion to make fun of him. But at the same time, he had wondered why he always kept on worrying over what the socially inept silver-haired man would think of him. It was a question that was still bugging the chuunin, but he guessed that he cared too much about what everybody thought of him in general.

More than anything else, Iruka had been surprised about the man's tactfulness. He hadn't expected the jounin to show that much insight and comprehension since, well, Hatake Kakashi was generally tactless and rude, being socially inept and all. But he guessed that as an elite jounin and an ex-Anbu member, Kakashi was used to dealing with people snapping; he was probably no stranger to such outbursts himself. Even if the idea of Kakashi snapping was somewhat odd.

They hadn't talked about it ever since, but the academy teacher felt somehow as if he was sharing a new bond with the jounin. One that wasn't about humiliation and bitterness, for once. And it was a nice change, honestly. Not that they were all friendly - Iruka highly doubted such a thing would ever happen - but they were gradually getting along better, even if the improvements were minor.

Chasing away those thoughts, Iruka realized that his sarcastic reply had caught the attention of the three teen, who were staring at him, looking surprised by the teasing tone he had used. Iruka could only guess why; the last time they had seen them together, they hadn't been on very good terms - that was why Naruto had managed to drag them along to spend Christmas evening together afterall.

Naruto sent him a wide grin and opened his mouth to say something, but Sakura not-too-subtly elbowed the blonde teen to silence him before he could say anything that would make the situation more awkward than it already was.

"OUTCH! What was that for?"

"You're such a dobe," Sasuke grunted quietly, "And those are stupid names anyway."

That effectively distracted Naruto. "Hey! They aren't stupid, okay!"

Iruka inwardly sighed with relief as the teens' discussion went back to the kittens' names, glad for Sakura and Sasuke's tactfulness - Naruto was a good kid, more intelligent than most people gave him credit for, but sometimes he could be so blunt about things... Because Iruka **didn't** want to bring up the subject of his and Kakashi's strange relationship. Period. And especially _not_ with the kids. What could the chuunin tell them anyway? He still didn't know where they stood and to be honest, he was trying not to think about it too much either.

"I still think we should name it ramen," Naruto added adamantly.

"It's sad to think they don't have owners yet," the pink-haired teen commented with a sigh as she prevented one of the kittens to fall off the bed.

"Oi, why don't you keep them, Iruka-sensei?"

"Naruto! That's a rude question!" Sakura scolded her teammate at once.

"Why? I'd keep one if I could!" the ramen-lover said bluntly, "But my stupid landlord menaced to kick me out if I homed even a goldfish after that time last year when I adopted a stray dog and tried to give it a bath..." the blonde whined, "He's an old jerk."

"I still wonder how you managed to smash down that wall," Kakashi said with mild curiously. The young man's face flushed and he opened his mouth to explain himself, but once again Sakura cut him.

"I'd readily take one as well, but my mother doesn't want animals in the house," the kunoichi said on a sorry tone and Iruka shook his head.

"Now now, you don't have to apologize for that!" he hastily told them, "I just wanted you to look around and see if you knew someone who wanted to adopt one, that's all."

That was the moment Sasuke chose to get up. "We have to leave," he announced shortly. Sakura looked at her watch, nodding, which caused Naruto to whine loudly as they both got up as well. Iruka knew better than to ask them why they had to leave so soon: they were no more children, but ninjas of the Leaf, afterall. That thought made him feel nostalgic again and the chuunin felt older than ever.

The three fifteen year-olds wished him and Kakashi good bye, promising to come back soon. Iruka saw them to the door and when they were gone, he stared at the closed entrance door in silence for a good minute. After a while, he sighed. For some reason, his ex-students departure had left him lonely. Things were so bright when they were over... Maybe it was because the chuunin hadn't seen his students nor worked at the mission room for roughly two weeks that his life seemed so... lifeless. Lonely, even.

Umino Iruka never took vacations. It was a common knowledge, like that Shiranui Genma was a flirt and Mitarashi Anko had strange kinks. He always worked - many people thought he was a workaholic, but the chuunin didn't think he was obsessed with work. He just didn't like to do nothing; if he was going to stay home and do nothing of his weekends, then he was better off working at the mission room. At least then he was useful. Of course, he spent time for himself too: he trained and treated Naruto to ramen once in a while. And he read a bit too. But he preferred working - not because he liked working, but because he didn't like to be unproductive.

And besides, he didn't feel lonely when he was working.

Iruka sighed at the thought. Now he remembered why he hated taking vacations so much: when he spent too much time alone, he ended up feeling lonely and depressed, questioning his lifestyle and current achievements. Which was somewhat legitimate, since he was 26 years old, had no girlfriend, no children, no real close friends and no sex life. Shaking his head, the chuunin tried to chase those stupid ideas away, willing himself not to fall into angsty self-depreciation. He was stronger than _that_.

Iruka returned to the the guestroom to find the two kittens still exploring Kakashi's legs and smiled with amusement. Well, he couldn't say that he was completely alone - not with those little pests and the jounin to take care of. Quietly, he walked to the bed and sat the the edge of it, taking the smallest, gray-haired kitten in his tanned hands to pat it. But the kitten didn't seem to be in a patting mood; after three failed escape attempts, Iruka gave up trying to pat him and let him go. The kitten happily stepped over the man's hands and joined his sister feasting on the Copy nin's ankles. Iruka sighed; he understood why the teens had been feeling so enthusiast at the sight of the little furballs. They were really adorable.

"Those little pests sure are cute," the chuunin spoke up softly, more to himself than to the Copy nin. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the man giving him a bored look that clearly translated into "well, it shows it's not _your_ feet they're feasting on" and Iruka smirked.

Oh _yes_ , he did understand what the jounin meant. He had learned first-hand not to be deceived by the furballs' cuteness. After he had come back from the pet shop, Iruka had made them a small park with several cardboard boxes he had found in a nearby alley. He had even made them a temporary litter vat and managed to make a feeding bottle for them, since he didn't know how long he'd have to keep them. He had thought back then that there were no requirements to make a kitten park - all you had to do was to find something high and rigid impossible to climb for such young kittens and surround them with it. Yet the kittens had escaped three times from their small park. Not one, or even twice, but THREE damn times. Forcing him each time to spend half an hour bending in front of each damn piece of furniture he owned with a broom in one hand and a box in the other to force them out of their hiding places.

The most frustrating thing about it was that he had no idea how they managed to escape to begin with. He had fortified the cardboard box with others and added a whole dug-tape roll to it after their first and second successful escape attempts and yet, they had managed to escape again when he wasn't looking. Damn wise little pests. He also still couldn't fathom how the black-haired one had managed to crawl behind the washing machine - Iruka had to remove the damn thing to recuperate the reluctant kitten, only to find out the other kitten had managed to escape again while he was busy with the washing machine. Oh _yes_ , he knew how deceitful those cute and innocent looks of theirs were.

Iruka had seen in the teens' eyes that they thought he was loosing it when they saw the two kittens trapped under his washing basket, three dictionary standing ontop of the said basket to keep down, but he couldn't care less what they thought of him. HE knew better than to let those little imps loose, no matter how cute they were. Because even after all that, Iruka still couldn't help but finding them cute and likeable. He guessed he had a soft spot for them afterall.

If Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were to know how these lovely furball truly were like…

"Nightmare" or "Calumny" sounded like more representative names to him.

"And you," Iruka spoke up again, attempting to start a discussion with the silver-haired man, "do you have any good name ideas?"

Kakashi seemed surprised by the question. "Me?"

Iruka resisted the envy to roll his eyes in exasperation and answer him bluntly ' _no, the neighbour'_ and instead nodded encouragingly, hoping to finally be able to have a real discussion with the jounin. Or at least to manage to force more than six words out of his mouth at the time. Because everytime he tried to talk with the Sharigan user, he ended up speaking alone. And although it annoyed him to feel like he was talking to a wall, the brown-haired man had started talking more frequently to Kakashi a few days ago and even if results were yet to show, he persevered in these discussion attempts. It was his new personal challenge: to make the mysterious, silent man open up a bit.

Iruka didn't quite now what was willing him to do that. Admittedly, he was getting a little bored to stay home all day long. And, _of course_ , he wanted to learn more about the man to understand him a bit. It could also be said that he felt a bit of pity for the obviously bored jounin. But it mostly wasn't about it. Somehow, trying to make Hatake Kakashi talk reminded him of when he tried to make a silent, lonely children open up a bit so he could make friends of his age. So maybe it all was about socializing the socially inept Copy nin - it was true that it was a little sad to see a powerful and respected ninja in his thirties being unable to make friends because he had the social skills of a six year-old. And a clumsy one, at that.

And on the up side, if the man had a _real_ social life, he certainly wouldn't feel the need to stalk random people for reasons he alone could fathom. Although Iruka highly doubted the Copy nin understood his own motivations anyway.

The brown-haired man waited patiently for Kakashi to answer, expecting the ex-anbu to simply shake his head instead of answering. He was already wondering what he was going to ask him next when, to his surprise, Kakashi actually answered his question.

"Tori," he said simply.

"Tori?" Iruka asked with an amused smile, "As in _bird_?"

"No, that's the name of the protagonist of the Icha Icha series," the Copy answered casually, his unmasked eye curving happily. "And we could call the female 'Yoko' - it's the name of the blonde school teacher in tome nine. Or 'Mikko', like the maiden who gets abducted in tome three."

Iruka blinked at him. Once. Twice.

" _No_ ," came the flat answer.

"Why not? They're good names." Were Iruka's ears deceiving him or was Kakashi sounding _disappointed_?

"You're kidding me, right?" Iruka asked, incredulous. "Would you seriously call a cute, innocent kitten after the name of a character of a _porn novel_?"

"Yes," the jounin replied simply, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Iruka couldn't believe it.

"Well I'm putting my foot down on it. No porn names for the kittens, period," he told the man resolutely as he picked up the two kittens to bring them back to their washing basket, deciding that recess time was over. He truly couldn't understand Kakashi's obsession with porn. Either the man was the worst pervert in town - an appalling conclusion when you knew the said man had stalked you for months - or he was just too clueless about sex to realize that what he was saying was just _wrong_. Either way, this was just too disturbing. To think such a man had been appointed young, influensable students was giving him the chills.

"Come on, they're not so bad," the jounin said back and his words brought a playful smile on Iruka's lips.

"You're sounding like Naruto," the academy teacher couldn't help but tease the man, smirking as he left the guestroom with the two kittens in his arms.

Was it Iruka's imagination or had he just seen Kakashi-sensei _pouting_ under his mask?


	16. Of Porn Novels Part II

Iruka stared at the board thoughtfully, frowning with concentration. He had been staring at it for the past fifteen minutes already and no solution came to his mind. If he moved his rook toward the king, he'd get eaten by Kakashi's queen. But if he didn't move it, he'd get eaten by his knight anyway. And he couldn't afford to have it eaten, since it was the only piece still protecting his king from Kakashi's bishop. Whatever he did, he was done for. Kakashi had him cornered. The brown-haired man stared with resignation at the left corner of the board, where his five white pieces stood pitifully, surrounded by a dozen or so of the jounin's black pieces.

Iruka sighed. Well, he guessed it was to be expected. He was playing chess against _Hatake Kakashi_ , afterall. No matter how patient and skilled he was, he knew he had never really stood a chance against the genius to start with. The man inwardly sighed at the thought. It made him almost wonder why he had even bothered to start a chess game with the silver-haired man.

But of course, he had never dared to hope winning against Kakashi-sensei. Of course not. And it had never been his goal either; Iruka was only playing with the jounin to keep him busy, since the ex-anbu had been bored out of his mind for the past few days. Obviously, Kakashi was getting tired of watching movies all day long already, something that Iruka could easily understand since the movies he'd been allowing him to watch were not exactly the most... _stimulating_ ones.

... Okay, okay, they were downright boring.

Not that Iruka would ever admit it to the silver-haired man. Hell no. And it was not like he was picking those movies because he _liked_ to torture the jounin with them or anything, or whatever the Copy nin could imagine. The chuunin honestly thought those movies, no matter how depressing they were, were still better for him than those soap operas Kakashi had been watching. Or, as a matter of fact, than most popular and insipid American movies the walls of every video stores were filled with. Of course, Iruka _could_ show him some of those average American movies filled with explosions, half-naked sexy women, macho men and easy and crude jokes, but then again Iruka didn't want the Copy nin to start imagining that the relationships and events displayed in those movies were representing accurately real life. He sure as hell didn't want to be blamed for wrecking up Kakashi's social conceptions more than they already were, thank you very much.

So, because average American movies were out of question and because of Kakashi's obvious lassitude, Iruka had decided to kindly put an end to those movie-sessions he had been forcing the jounin to go through for the past week or so. Out of either pity or sympathy for the man, he couldn't quite tell. Maybe that since they were on better terms than before, Iruka felt more generous toward the man. Or maybe he was just tired of hearing him sighing every ten minutes or so. Who knows.

As an afterthought, the fact that he had borrowed all the suitable movies at his local video store and had no idea what to make him listen to anymore _may_ have influenced a bit his decision as well.

Which explained why he was currently loosing so badly against the Copy nin.

But it was true that they had been slowly but steadily getting on better for the past week or so. They talked a bit more than before, and not just about the supper menu. Two days ago, they had a discussion about the sand's latest known politic move and just the day before, they talked about Team seven. At first, they had talked about the teen's improvements and problems, but somehow they soon found themselves talking about more... _intimate_ aspects of the teens' life. Iruka refused to think they had been gossiping - they _cared_ about the Team 7, so it completely different. They merely had been exchanging thoughts about the young men and woman's maturation and slow entrance in adulthood, out of concern for them. Not simply to satisfy some kind of perverse interest for people's intimate life and the possible scandals they could find/create/spread about them.

Well at least, it was what it had been about on Iruka's part. And somehow the chuunin doubted that Kakashi was much of a gossiper himself, since he rarely talked to anyone when he wasn't forced to. Or when he wasn't bored to the point that it didn't matter much to him, Iruka guessed.

Iruka had been surprised to learn from the jounin that Sakura had been seen going out with Lee. A surprising, but definitely good news. They had both agreed that it was a good thing for the kunoichi - her long-lasting obsession with the Uchiha hear wasn't healthy at all for a girl of her age. Especially since Sasuke hadn't shown any interest in her in all those years; it was about time that she moved on. Not that Sasuke had ever shown interest for anyone anyway. Fortunately, back then Iruka had had enough common sense to orient their discussion to another subject before they started speculating on the raven-haired teen's love-life. It was a subject Iruka didn't want to bring up, even thought the traumatized teen's social development was concerning him very much, because he had always strongly disapproved of all those people who kept on speculating about the intimate aspects of the Sharigan bearer's life like it was a soap opera. In Konoha, gossiping about the Uchiha heir's possible love-life was almost a national sport, the potential revival of the Uchiha clan being an interesting politic notion for people who foresaw the future of the village as well as for people who desired to promote a blood alliance between their clan and the future reborn Uchiha clan - or at least that was the usual reasons people gave to explain their unhealthy interest for Sasuke, although most people admitted that the tragic story of his youth and his good looks _did_ arouse more interest out of people than any politic motivation could. And it was especially true now that Sasuke had reached puberty and still didn't seem to show any interest in dating - some even went as far as to say that the dark-haired teen didn't show interest for the fair sex, period. And no matter how much those issues concerned Iruka, the chuunin refused to indulge, however briefly, into such shameful and doubtful speculations. Especially now that he knew how it felt to have every aspect of your private life discussed by countless people who thought of you only as a good match to bear their future children or take care of their daughters. Iruka could pretty well imagine how growing up and living in such a village, with his past, must have been a difficult experience for the Uchiha heir. No wonder the teen turned out to be such an asocial person...

At that thought, Iruka felt annoyed with all those inconsiderate gossipers. It was Sasuke's life and Sasuke's feelings they were talking of, not some kind of attraction in the local zoo, for God's sake! Not that people seemed to mind... Sometimes Iruka wondered just how cruel and egoist people could be.

During those discussions with the Sharigan user, the chuunin had been pleasently surprised to discover that Hatake Kakashi was able _not_ to be an ass when he wanted to. Or maybe it was more accurate to say that except for when he said things that were so out of place it was shocking, the silver-haired man was mostly nice to be with. Obviously, Hatake Kakashi _wasn't_ a bad guy. Anybody could see that. He just didn't know better about some things. Sometimes he reminded Iruka of some overgrown kid who hadn't been thought manners - it wasn't really the kid's fault he was so rude, but his rudeness was frustrating nonetheless. Iruka guessed it resumed pretty much his relationship with the elite jounin. The only problem was that Hatake Kakashi was _not_ a kid, if his annoying dependence to porn was any indications. That, and Iruka's lingering resentful feelings toward the Copy nin for being stalked, which complicated things a lot. But he had learned to deal with his resentment, in his own way. You could say that he had mostly forgiven the man, even though it was an issue that still hurt him and that he refused to discuss. But Iruka would never admit it, not even under torture. It was a question of pride.

Well, okay, maybe not _that_ much... But it was not something he'd admit willingly. Going like ' _Oh Kakashi-sensei, I forgive you for breaking into my privacy and ruining my life for months even though you hadn't given me any kind of coherent explanation for it because I know that deep down, you meant no harm'_. Yeah, right. Over his dead body.

Anyhow, the two men found themselves gradually getting more intimate as the days passed by. Which, even if he was reluctant to admit it, was a nice change for the chuunin, since he couldn't quite remember the last time he had a discussion that didn't seem forced with someone of his age. But at the same time, it peeved the chuunin to no end; of all the people he could have gotten a intimate with, it had to be the socially inept, stalking weirdo Hatake Kakashi. Lady luck had struck again, Iruka thought cynically.

And they were, by all means, _not_ getting friendly; they were just on better terms than before. Period. And the fact that he was getting more intimate with the only man in the whole village he truly had something against was unnerving. But it was not like he could help it anyway. It just _happened_. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say it was just happening, because they were still hesitantly stretching the bonds of that strange new relationship that was building between them. Which was, he wanted to specify it once more, _not_ of friendly nature. They were just more intimate, which was hardly avoidable since they had been living in the same house for more than two weeks now. Although Iruka admitted he had tried really hard to keep things between them as formal as possible, given their situation. But it appeared he had failed miserably.

Iruka personally blamed the kittens and Team 7 for it.

But even though they were on better terms and even talked together, there were still some things about the man's behaviour and point of views that would inevitably make him mentally twitch with annoyance and wish he could cover the man's mouth with dug tape. His total like of shame for reading porn in public, for example.

"For the fifth and last time, _no_ , I won't let you read porn in my house," Iruka answered flatly as he frowned, still concentrating on the board before his eyes.

"But, Iruka-sensei..." the silver-haired man whined, "I received it weeks ago and I know it's there, waiting for me on the desk over there... But I can't read it. It's unfair!"

The chuunin remained silent, deep in thoughts.

"Please, Iruka-sensei..." Kakashi pleaded weakly.

"I said no," the brown-haired man said severely, finally moving his black knight on the right. "How do you think you could read porn anyway - you can't even move. You wouldn't even be able to turn the pages."

"F6 on F12 - Check. Well, you could turn them for me..."

"In your dreams," Iruka moved Kakashi's black piece into the previous position of his last remaining bishop and groaned.

"Or you could read it to me..." Kakashi proposed hopefully.

"Hell no. I am NOT reading you porn, Kakashi-sensei," the chuunin answered a bit more forcefully, feeling both annoyed and disturbed by the whole idea. Reading _a porn novel_ out loud... He shuddered in disgust at the mere thought. Only the Copy nin could come up with such a suggestion and look at you with honest puzzlement when it was turned down.

"Why not? Those books are good, I'm sure you'd like them-"

"This is not the point. Even if I'd be a real porn addict like you are - which I am _not_ , in case you haven't noticed - I wouldn't read those books out loud to someone else... That would be just _wrong_."

"Why?" Kakashi asked cluelessly.

"Why? You've got to be kidding me! Kakashi-sensei, reading porn is not something people usually do in public - it's - it's something more intimate, that you do alone when you want to _jerk off_ in your room," Iruka said with exasperation, waving his arms in the air as he spoke. "Geez, why are we even having this discussion...?" he added to himself as he rubbed his eyes wearily, trying to chase away the annoyance and exasperation growing in him. Remember Iruka, he just doesn't know better... But somehow it seemed hard to believe for the brown-haired man that the jounin was _this_ dense.

When he looked up, the chuunin was surprised to find the silver-haired man staring at him in silence. When he saw the blank look the ex-anbu was giving him, Iruka knew he had made a blunder. A big one.

"You _masturbate_ when you read porn?" Kakashi asked with a mix of mild curiosity and confusion. At those words, Iruka felt something sinking in him.

Oh. God.

Iruka didn't know what he had been expecting, but he surely as hell hadn't been expecting _this_. He couldn't quite believe he was going to have to explain the real use of pornography to the obviously clueless jounin. It had to be a bad joke... Not that Iruka didn't know what to answer the man; he was teaching children and was no stranger to having to give some children whose parents didn't have enough common sense to do it properly - or to do it at all - the 'Talk'. Although explaining the mysteries of life, love and reproduction to a mildly shy and curious ten year-old and explaining them to a fully grown man reading porn as a hobby were two _very_ different things.

God, he hoped he wouldn't have to _actually_ give Kakashi-sensei the 'Talk'. Iruka fought back a blush of mortification at the mere thought. He dared to think that Jiraiya's explicit novels had at least enlightened a bit the genius jounin about what was sex so that he wouldn't be forced to through the basics with the man. Although he _did_ hope that someone had had the common sense to give him the 'Talk' before he started reading those horrible books, as Iruka pretty much assumed that there couldn't be a worst way to learn how sex was like than by the hand of the legendary sannin, if the reputation of those books was any indication.

" _I_ don't read porn, Kakashi-sensei, but yeah, that's what most people do with it," the chuunin answered patiently on a slightly encouraging voice he usually used when he wanted children to know that their question was not stupid and to encourage them to speak out their confusion. Not that Iruka wanted to encourage the Copy nin to ask him more embarrassing questions - quite the opposite - but his conscience wouldn't allow him to leave the jounin in the dark about such important and intimate things. It wouldn't be right.

"Oh..." the man said softly, his eyes shifting to the chess board thoughtfully. There was a short silence between the two men and Iruka started to feel a bit guilty and uneasy about the strangely dreamy and mildly confused expression on the Copy nin's face. He had wanted to help the jounin out and clarify things for him, but Kakashi seemed as confused as before instead...

"Isn't it why you read porn?" Iruka asked softly, hoping to encourage the older man to speak out what was bothering him. But as soon as the words were out of his mouth, the academy teacher realized he was actually asking about the _self-pleasuring habits_ of the man sitting in front of him and had to fight a blush of embarrassment at that thought.

Needless to say, Iruka suddenly felt very uneasy - what if Kakashi misunderstood his motivation? It wasn't like he was truly interested in Kakashi's sex life _that_ way or anything! He was not that kind of man! But fortunately for him, the Copy nin didn't seem to understand the hidden meaning of those words - or even to sense the man's distress - as he kept on staring thoughtfully at the chest board standing atop of his laps.

"...No," the jounin finally answered, frowning to himself.

That answer left the previously embarrassed Iruka a bit puzzled. Of course, given the man's reaction he knew he shouldn't have expected another answer, but this answer was just... strange.

It made Iruka curious.

Iruka felt a bit ashamed of his own sudden curiosity, but he couldn't help it. He had always wondered if Sharigan Hatake Kakashi was just as perverted as the rumor had it... Not that he believed rumors or anything, but it was hard not to notice the man was always reading porn in public areas, an habit of his that, of course, puzzled him just as much as it puzzled the rest of the Konoha community. It was only legitimate to wonder, in such a situation. It was not as if Iruka truly cared or was obsessed with it; he was just curious. Like he was curious about Genma's apparently very active sex life or about Ebisu's own half-secret perverse habits. Curiosity was not sinful or unhealthy - he knew it pretty well, it was one of the things he had to teach his students when they reached puberty. It was normal to be curious about such things. But of course, one always had to respect people's private life and keep that kind of curiosity for themselves - it was a lesson that was truly essential to teach kids in a ninja village, where it was so easy to spy on your neighbour and where people always feared to be spied on. Afterall, they didn't want Konoha's pre-genins to grow up into peeping toms and perverts; it would be undoubtedly unhealthy for their social development as well as for the harmony of the whole village.

Iruka was not a puritan, no matter what people seemed to think about him. Yes, Iruka was curious, and he was not ashamed of it. A tad shy about it maybe, but not ashamed per see. No, the thing Iruka was ashamed of was the fact that he was currently contemplating _asking_ the Copy nin about his sex life. Him, Umino Iruka, a respected teacher at the ninja academy of Konoha, was contemplating using his position as a teacher and caretaker to pry out of a clueless and socially inept man information of private nature. Merely to satisfy his curiosity. God, he couldn't quite believe he was even thinking about it! It was just so... so wrong!

But of course, it wasn't just about his curiosity. Iruka also truly wanted to help the silver-haired man to figure out what seemed to trouble him and enlighten him about whatever the jounin had misunderstood about sex. The man was, what, in his thirties and he was still clueless about what was socially acceptable and what was not when it came to his and others' sexuality. It was just wrong. He only wanted to help him figure out a few things. Right?

... Who was he kidding, anyway?

The chuunin hesitated. He knew what he was about to do was bad. It was not that _asking_ that question burning his lips was bad, but his motivation for asking this question _was_ bad. No doubts about it.

Ahh, and the hell with it! He was 28, he was a ninja and he had never, not even once, tried to get his hands on information of such nature. He had always been the good guy. The guy people would could count on because they just knew he didn't have ulterior motives. Umino Iruka? Ulterior motives? Tch! He was far too innocent! Or far too nice! If Umino Iruka asked you something, it was necessarily because he needed to know it, it couldn't be because he was curious. If Umino Iruka bought you a drink, it was because he was feeling generous, it couldn't be because he was interested in you _that_ way. If Umino Iruka was seen in an adult section of a library or a video store, it was because he was looking for a runaway student or because he was lost, it couldn't be because he wanted to be there.

If Umino Iruka was looking for a girlfriend, it was necessarily because he wanted to marry and have kids, it couldn't be because he just wished to get laid, nooo! Umino Iruka was far too nice for that.

Well he was tired of being nice already. And anyway, this was Hatake Kakashi. The guy who had spied on him for _months._ He knew everything there was to know about his boring private life. It wasn't like it was a bad thing if he used the man's cluelessness to learn more about him - he owed him that much. There no reason for him to feel guilty about being prying some info out of his stalker. Seriously.

"Then why do you read those novels?" Iruka finally asked, trying his best to sound like this was not the kind of question people usually didn't ask. Kakashi looked up and frowned, obviously seriously thinking the man's question over.

"...I guess I started reading it because it was a good distraction. It helped me to become more aware of my surroundings when I was busy doing something else, especially when fighting," the jounin said slowly and Iruka couldn't help but mentally twitch. Trust Hatake Kakashi to use _pornographic novels_ as a mean of training. Which made him wonder just how young he was when he started reading those Icha Icha books, knowing that the man was a chuunin at six. The image of a silver-haired six year-old blushing like mad, his wide, shocked eyes running through the pages of the said book as he avoided kunais thrown his way made the teacher in Iruka mentally twitch again. "But then, I became accustomed to it after a while. I guess I'm still reading them because I've grown to develop a liking for them over the years..." the silver-haired man finished thoughtfully, and Iruka did his best to chase away images of a child Kakashi dodging kunais with a porn book in hands.

"So those books don't... turn you on?" Iruka asked, carefully choosing his words. He was feeling a bit guilty for asking in the first place, but then again the man's strange conceptions about sex were making him really, _really_ curious and he couldn't resist asking.

Kakashi gave him a strange look, as if the notion that Icha Icha novels could stimulate libido was highly disturbing and slightly sick. The kind of look Iruka would give anyone who announced him that Uchiha Sasuke crossdressed at night. Or that the Hokage was hitting on him.

"Are they supposed to?" the jounin asked him, frowning suspiciously.

"Yes, they _are_ supposed to. That's what porn is all about, Kakashi-sensei."

The Copy nin raised his thin eyebrow high, giving him a surprised look that Iruka imagined meant 'well, it sure does explain a lot of things'. Which, in Kakashi's case, was probably true. Somehow, the brown-haired man found this reaction amusing and even somewhat cute. But then, doubts clouded his mind and the academy teacher frowned, suddenly feeling more preoccupied than curious.

"But of course, you're no stranger to the concept of... arousal...?" Iruka asked him cautiously, worried that the man's sex life could be more wrecked up than his social conceptions.

Kakashi didn't need to answer; he gave the teacher a bored look that screamed 'well, **DUH** ' and Iruka felt stupid for formulating his sentence that way; the man was reading Jiraiya's novels. Of course he knew what the words meant, he was bound to. But that wasn't what Iruka had meant to ask.

"I meant," the chuunin corrected himself, "have you ever _felt_ it?"

"... Yes, of course I have a few times - wait," Kakashi paused, frowning in confusion. "Iruka-sensei, why are you asking me those things?"

"Ehh?" Iruka tried to sound innocent and mildly surprised. For some reason, the pace of his heart quickened.

"Aren't you usually shy to talk about your own sex life? Then why talking about mine all of a sudden?" the jounin asked suspiciously and Iruka felt like a child who had been caught with one hand in the cookie jar. He felt his cheeks getting warmer and looked away guiltily, shifting his eyes to the chess board with fake interest. Oh God, he hoped he wasn't blushing or looking too guilty; it would be a dead give-away.

"I was just wondering, that's all..." he answered in what he hoped was a casual tone, still faking interest for the chess game. When the silence stretched on, Iruka looked up and realized that he must have failed miserably to convince the Copy nin, as the said man was staring at him with narrowed eyes. Somehow, that deep, piercing look of his was making him anxious.

... He had a feeling this was going to go downward...

"... Wouldn't that be by any chance the kind of thing people usually _don't_ talk about?" he asked slowly, eyeing the chuunin with suspicion. Feeling his cheeks heating up even more, Iruka's glance shifted once again to the chess game and the chuunin mentally swore. Damn, this was humiliating... He really hadn't thought the Sharigan user would figure it out so quickly. He guessed that, although Hatake Kakashi could be clueless about a lot of taboos and have strange social conceptions, he wasn't stupid either on the long run. That was really his luck.

"You could say that..." he admitted quietly, staring at his isolated king.

"Then why were you asking me all those questions? You... you _tricked_ me into revealing you my sex life, didn't you?" Iruka didn't need to look at the Copy nin to feel the reproach in his eye.

"Well, tricking is a big word..." Iruka mumbled defensively, fighting back the guilt the man's words had stirred in him. And it was damn true: afterall, it wasn't as if he had _forced_ the jounin to tell him his wildest phantasms or anything. And he had no reason to be ashamed to start with - not with what the Copy nin had done to him-

Iruka's chain of thoughts was broken when, to his surprise, Hatake Kakashi started to laugh. Looking up, the academy teacher stared dumbly at the silver-haired man, whose disconcerting gleeful laugh echoed through the silent apartment.

"Why are you laughing?" Iruka asked flatly, feeling a bit insulted for some reason.

"I-Iruka-sensei," Kakashi managed to say between his laughs, "you say that you don't like porn, but you _do_ look like a pervert to me right now!"

"WHAT!" the teacher shouted, indignant. Iruka stood up and stared at the laughing man below him with indignant anger, his face now flushing from ire instead of embarrassment.

" _Me_ , a pervert?!" the chuunin barked angrily, "Coming from a man who reads _those_ books even in crowded market places?!" he added, pointing with disgust the orange pornographic novel lying innocently on the desk beside him.

"Well, _**I**_ sure don't jerk off reading them," the reminded the academy teacher with a teasing voice, his uncovered eye glittering with amusement. Iruka caught on what the man was referring to and could only gape at him with incredulous anger. He wanted to say something, anything really, but the way Kakashi had turned his own words against him was so infuriating it left him empty, his mouth opening and closing stupidly in a fish-like manner.

"I-I _don't!_ " Iruka finally protested indignantly, his hands clenching into fists, "I _never_ said that!"

The chuunin's words only made the silver-haired man laugh louder than before and Iruka felt anger boil in him. How dared he!? How dared he making fun of him like that!? Using his own words to humiliate him like that! He, who had had only the man's well-being in mind! The unfairness of the whole situation was making Iruka so angry he wanted to strangle the jounin right on the spot. His hands twitched at the thought. The Copy nin must have felt the murderous aura the younger man was radiating because he at once tried to sober up. But for some reason, the jounin couldn't manage to stop laughing completely and ended up having a ridiculous fit of choked giggles instead. Which only enraged the chuunin even more.

Fuming, Iruka cleared the chess board silently and took it away with him, leaving the guestroom without looking back. He put the chess board away in the restroom and headed straight for his bedroom. The brown-haired man had to summon all his restrain to stop himself from slamming the door shut violently when he closed it; no matter how angry he was, he didn't want to give the Sharigan user the satisfaction of hearing him taking his frustration out on the door. Realising just how childish that sounded, even to himself, Iruka inwardly groaned and let himself fall on his bed heavily, glaring at the ceiling.

In the silence of the apartment, the chuunin could hear the chocked sound of Kakashi giggling silently in the guestroom and felt his left eye twitch with annoyance. He retracted any kind thought he could have for the Copy nin: Hatake Kakashi was a jerk!

Letting out a shaking breath, Iruka took his head between his hands and willed himself to calm down a bit. No matter of frustrating and unfair the situation was, it was not a reason to throw a fit, something the academy teacher admitted he felt very tempted to do. He was an adult, he was mature, he was _not_ going to let Kakashi's tauntings affect him and he certainly dit _not_ want to throw that pillow at the wall. No, he didn't. Really, he didn't. What was the point of tossing his pillow across the room anyway? It was just plain childish and he was, by no mean, childish. So _no_ , he didn't want to throw his stupid pillow at the wall. End of the mental argument.

The chuunin sighed. Some part of him knew he had no reason to feel this frustrated. A bit annoyed maybe, but not downright pissed like this. The jounin had only been making fun of him and they both knew it was a joke. Plus, he was used to people's teasings: he was teaching children - God only knew how children could be mean to each others and Iruka knew from experience that their mean, raw and yet often shockingly truthful words could hurt adults just as well, if not more. Moreover, he spent an awful lot of time with Shiranui Genma, mission room duties obliged. He was no stranger to such teasings. Then why had Kakashi's words triggered such a strong emotion in him? No, he truly had no reason to feel this frustrated, Iruka had to admit reluctantly. He was being childish.

And, although Iruka didn't want to admit it, he _kinda_ had it coming... Asking the Copy nin all those personal questions. Using the man's strange social conceptions to pry information out of him. Out of curiosity, moreover. Kakashi-sensei had been right: why asking all those questions about the ex-anbu's sex life when he himself was so shy and touchy when it came to his own sexual life? It was only fair that he got teased a bit for it. He tried to get something out of the jounin and got caught. And that was all there was to it.

Then why was he feeling cheated somehow?

Cooling down, Iruka did something he hadn't done in years. He pouted.

Why did other always seem to get away with their eccentricities and he couldn't? Of course, it _had_ to come back in his face like that...! Why couldn't he be the one being selfish and making fun of others once in a while? It was plain unfair. Moreover, Iruka couldn't help thinking that it was low of Kakashi-sensei to have made fun of him like that. After what he'd done to Iruka, you'd think he'd let the man indulge in his curiosity. Even if Iruka's curiosity had been of a more... perverse mature than Kakashi's strange one had been. Either way, it was just unfair, Iruka decided, glaring at the ceiling. But he couldn't summon that hatred and anger he had felt minutes ago. He honestly didn't know if he was relieved or put off by his sudden lack of anger... Which was actually alarming, when you thought about it.

Sighing, Iruka mused about how the Copy nin always managed to arouse such intense emotions in him with so few words. Four or five words and hop! All the rationality and maturity he had won over the years as a men and as an academy teacher was gone and he was sent back to his teenage years - or even worst, to kindergarten. Pouting because it was _unfair_ and wanting to throw his pillow across the room. Iruka wondered with exasperation why, why did the Copy nin always manage to do such things? Because there was no other explanation for it - his previous overreaction couldn't have possibly been caused by anything else. What else could make him so touchy...? No, Iruka couldn't see anything else. It was bound to be Hatake Kakashi's fault. _Again_ , he felt tempted to add. Really, that man was a goldmine of problems...

Iruka's musings were interrupted when he felt a sudden tug on the sheets. Turning his head around, he saw nothing. Puzzled, the chuunin wondered if he hadn't imaged it when he felt it again. And again.

Somehow he had his little idea about it...

His little theory was confirmed when, after a good dozen of tuggings, Iruka saw two pointed grey ears poking out of the hedge of the bed. Smiling, he watched with amusement the two shaky ears slowly rising to reveal a very small, curious head poking over the covers. But before the poor thing could even get a good look at what laid atop of the thing he had worked so hard to climb, his little head disappeared and the academy teacher heard a dull 'thud'. Laughing softly, Iruka sat up and bent over the hedge of the bed to pick up the fallen kitten and put it on his lap. The little furball looked around curiously and went away to explore Iruka's bed almost at once, completely ignoring the man who had helped him out.

Iruka knew it wasn't exactly a good idea to get those kittens used to climbing into their beds, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The little furballs wouldn't be around for long anyway, so there was no point spoiling their fun. At least that's what he decided two days ago when he released the kittens from their washing-basket. Since they had started eating pablum - Iruka had henged himself into a blond-haired woman to buy it, since he _didn't_ want people seeing him buying baby food, for obvious reasons - there was no need to handfeed them anymore, so there was no point keeping them in cage to be sure they were easy to find when he wanted to feed them. Instead he just made them pablum in the morning, early in the afternoon and just before going to bed and left it on the kitchen floor for them to eat whenever they felt the need to. And the kittens sure seemed to like Iruka's new policy, if the way they happily explored each corner of the small apartment was any indication. It was funny how the kittens could be found in the oddest places. For example, Iruka had to rescue the black-haired female the day before, who was stuck in the bath, meowing for help. Once again, Iruka had no idea how she managed to climb into the bath to start with, but he had stopped wondering about those kind of things. And in the morning, he had found the gray one sleeping in one of his sandals. It had annoyed a bit the teacher, since he had gone through the trouble of making them a comfty little bed with an old cushion and some blanket he didn't use anymore, but the kittens didn't even use it; they preferred sleeping in his shoes or on the bathroom carpet. Of course it was cute, but if he had known his efforts would be rewarded this way, he wouldn't have gone through that trouble for them...

Iruka sighed. He was growing far too fond of them. But he guessed it couldn't be helped; somehow they always managed to cheer him up whenever he saw them, even when they were in the middle of a mischief. Because it was _not_ because they were still babies eating pablum and having some difficulty to run on their shaky legs that they couldn't do mischiefs. The gray-haired one seemed especially prone to it - no wonder Naruto liked him so much... That thought made Iruka a bit sad; the blonde teen liked the kitten - 'Hashi', he insisted - so much, it was really a shame he couldn't take him in his apartment because of his owner.

To Iruka's dismay, he'd had the kittens for nearly a week now and he still hadn't found masters for any of them. He wished he wouldn't have to advertize them - he wanted to avoid doing it until he wasn't left the choice anymore. He was _not_ , by all means, going to give a reason to all those crazy suitors and random strangers to enter his apartment. Period. So Iruka firmly continued to think he'd find them owners sooner or later. He just had to be patient, that's all. Besides, it was not like taking care of the kittens was a disagreeable task for him. Well, most of the time it wasn't.

Strangely, such a thing could also be said about taking care of the wounded jounin, Iruka was surprised to admit. At that precise moment, the brown-haired man realized that he didn't think of taking care of Hatake Kakashi as a mean chore anymore. Sure, it was sometimes awkward and difficult to tend to the man's basic needs, but Iruka didn't resent taking care of the man anymore. The chuunin mildly wondered when he had started seeing things that way.

Kakashi's teasings and now _this_... They were definitely getting far too close, Iruka decreeted. He'd have to do something about it. Besides, he still needed to pay back Kakashi for his teasings. Because the jounin was definitely going to suffer for it - it was not because Iruka had it coming that it meant he was going to let the silver-haired man tease him without consequences. Hell no. He was Umino Iruka: he had a reputation to maintain here. If he started to allow people to tease im like that, where would it end? No, he was going to put an end to it AND avenge his hurt pride at the same time, he decided.

Oh yes, Kakashi was going to regret this...!

* * *


	17. Of Porn Novels Part III

Iruka had been quietly musing about possible paybacks for the Copy nin's words for over half an hour when someone knocked on his front door. Hoping it wouldn't be another suitor pretending to have lost her dog or wanting to sell him chocolate bars to buy her little sister a wheelchair, Iruka went to the door and opened it. The chuunin was surprised by the sight that greeted him.

On his doorstep stood Uchiha Sasuke. Alone.

Uchiha Sasuke, of all people.

"Why, Sasuke-kun," Iruka, coming over his initial surprise, greeted the teen with a smile, "It's so rare to see you here by yourself. Come in."

The Uchiha heir nodded curtly and entered Iruka's small apartment, his face as expressionless as ever. The chuunin watched him as he took off his sandals and felt suddenly puzzled and mildly wary of the teen's presence for some reason.

Why had the raven-haired teen decided to show up all of a sudden? To see his injured team leader...? Iruka didn't think so; Sasuke didn't seem to be the kind of guy to go out of his way to cheer up an injured colleague - in fact, 'cheering up' and 'Sasuke' were two words Iruka wouldn't think of putting in the same sentence. Maybe the raven-haired teen wanted to have a chat alone with the Copy nin. But Uchiha Sasuke could hardly be said to be a talkative person - Kakashi neither, for a matter of fact - and Iruka had a hard time imagining the teen feeling the need to confide or ask for Kakashi's advice, for Sasuke was not the kind of person who expressed his doubts and showed his weakness and therefore did not ask for people's help when it came to anything else than training - and if he wanted a few training tips, he surely wouldn't ask an academy teacher chuunin or a bed-ridden man.

Then, why was the young man there? His sudden appearance worried a bit the chuunin; Iruka hoped Sasuke didn't have problems. Or that Naruto didn't have problems... Anyhow he didn't want to ask the teen so straight-forwardly what had motivated him to come to his apartment out of the blue- it would be rude and untactful of him. And such a straightforward question was sure to scare the teen away if his presence there made him nervous anyway. Not that Sasuke seemed nervous or anxious; in fact, his face was just as expressionless as usual, which didn't surprise Iruka at all, knowing the teen's aversion to showing his sentiments.

So instead of speaking out his mind, the brown-haired man motioned the Uchiha heir to the kitchen and politely offered him a cup of tea. When the teen accepted silently his ex-teacher's offer, Iruka suggested him to visit Kakashi-sensei in the guestroom while he prepared their beverages, giving the teen a good occasion to have some time alone with the Copy nin if he needed some. The Uchiha seemed to understand Iruka's chain of thoughts; nodding at the man's proposal, he silently went to the guestroom to see the silver-haired man. From the kitchen, Iruka heard them talk a bit as he waited for the water to boil, but he ignored the sounds coming from the small guestroom, wishing to respect Sasuke's privacy - if the teen had things he wanted to discuss with Hatake Kakashi and Hatake Kakashi alone, then he wasn't going to eavesdrop. But although Iruka wasn't going out of his way to hear what they were saying, he noticed after a while that the two men seemed to be having an idle chat, the kind of polite and light discussion you had only to pass time.

Which meant the raven-haired teen hadn't come to see his jounin sensei, afterall. Iruka frowned.

Strange.

Then, it meant the Uchiha heir was there to see _him_ , which was even stranger. What business could Sasuke have with _him_? They were not on bad terms, but they were far from being close... Not that anyone could be considered close to Uchiha Sasuke, except for his best friend Naruto, of course.

... Naruto. Maybe that was what it was about. Could they have had a serious dispute recently and it troubled the teen? But then, Naruto would have told him - Naruto wasn't exactly the kind of person to be angry or to suffer in silence. And Sasuke wasn't exactly the kind of person to ask for a third party's help anyway; if he'd had a problem with Naruto, Iruka was quite sure he'd settle it by himself with the teen. But it was true that Sasuke and Naruto had a rather strange relationship... They spent mostly all their time together, ate and even slept at each other's place, yet they were so different it was hard to understand how they managed to get along at all. Because they _were_ getting along well; while they used to quarrel all the time back in their genin days, their relationship took a different turn after Sasuke returned a few months ago. True, they had grown up and were less childish and proud then they had been at twelve, but the whole dynamics of their relationship had also changed drastically. While a few years before, their relationship had been characterized by their rivalry, it was now characterized by friendship and trust. Of course, they still teased each other, but their arguments didn't have the same meaning now. It was hard not to notice it when you saw Naruto and Sasuke walking together in Konoha, Naruto babbling aimlessly while the raven-haired young man listened to him in a companionable silence.

The fact that they spent most of their free time together puzzled a bit Iruka, to say the truth. Given that Naruto was glad to have finally found himself a good friend - which was definitely a good thing - Naruto was also reaching an age where girls and dates became more and more important to a teenager. And Iruka had not missed to notice that the ramen-lover was getting interested in those kind of things as well, if the way he playfully asked him all the time about his 'dates' and teased him about his very public love-life was any indication. Then, it wasn't logical that the blond teen spent all his time with a male friend. And especially not Sasuke, who was very popular with women. Or maybe that was Naruto's strategy - to flirt with the girls Sasuke turned down. Not a winning idea, if you asked Iruka, but it was Naruto's life and he, Umino Iruka, was not well-placed to criticize him - his own love-life wasn't exactly shiny...

On that chain of thoughts, the brown-haired man suddenly had a strange idea. It was just hypothetical, but what if Naruto's flirting strategy had caused some problem between them? What if the two teens were caught in a love triangle? Not that it would be anything new; they were used to it back in the genin days, with Sakura loving Sasuke and Naruto having a crush for the pink-haired girl... But even back then, they had been only sharing crushes, and Sasuke had been pretty uninterested in a relationship of any kind. But he didn't seem to show any interest for girls and dates even now that he was fifteen, so it didn't mean anything...

Iruka sighed, realizing that his speculations were so ill-informed that he was loosing his time trying to figure out what was happening in the teens' love-life, and even more to discover why Sasuke was currently talking about the weather and Konoha's chances at the next chuunin exam with Kakashi-sensei. He was better off waiting patiently for the teen to make his move and try to help him the best he could if it was necessary.

Sasuke walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table as his ex-teacher poured the tea into their cups of tea, which confirmed him that he had been right; the young man obviously had business with _him_ and not with the Copy nin. Silently, he put their two cups on the table and sat in front of the teen. Both men sipped their burning tea in an easy silence for a while, cautiously not looking at each other. Iruka remained silent, waiting patiently for the raven-haired teen to speak up and say whatever was on his mind. Sasuke drank his tea politely and, when he was done, finally spoke up.

"Kakashi-sensei told me that his treatment would be over very soon," the teen started off conversationally.

"Yes, Shizune-sama visited us yesterday," Iruka explained with a smile, "She said that his chakra channels were mostly healed. She'll see him again tomorrow and, if things went well, he'll be authorized to move again."

"That's good news."

"Indeed. But of course, he won't be able to return home before next week, since his muscles are atrophied by disuse; he'll need a bit of rehabilitation before being able to watch over himself again."

The teen nodded in comprehension and silence stretched between them once again. Iruka offered more tea to the Uchiha heir, but the young man turned down his offer. So he waited in silence for Sasuke to speak up again, sipping his tea slowly.

"Have you found owners for the cats yet?" the young man suddenly asked. Iruka blinked, surprised. He hadn't expected the teenager would orient their discussion that way.

"I'm afraid not," he answered simply, giving him a sorry smile.

"That's too bad."

Silence ensued once again, but it was different kind of silence this time. The chuunin didn't know why or how it was different, but it just felt... different. Iruka knew it was stupid, but somehow he couldn't get rid of the impression that Sasuke expected him to say something. The said teen was watching silently the spot on the table next to his cup of tea, as if he was waiting for something. But what could he...

Then Iruka catched on. Suddenly, he felt so stupid he wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall. To think he had been worried about what could bother the young man enough for him to visit him and had made far-fetched speculations about it when the teen's presence was, in fact, pretty simple to explain.

Empty Uchiha mansion + lonely teenager.

How could he have been so blind, honestly?

"Say Sasuke-kun, I was thinking..." Iruka said on a mildly hesitant tone for good measure, "Since you own such a big house, maybe you could... But of course, I'd understand if you wouldn't want to-"

"Now that you say it... I guess I could take care of one of the kittens."

He had said it casually with his usual expressionless face, but Iruka couldn't help but notice the way the young man's eyes lit up with relief as he spoke. Iruka smiled genuinely at him. He couldn't believe his luck - Sasuke-kun was getting himself a lovely little companion to cheer him up and Iruka was getting rid of one of the kittens. Things couldn't have turned out better! This was definitely the best news he'd heard in weeks.

"I would really appreciate it," the chuunin teacher answered honestly and Sasuke brushed off his words of gratitude with a motion of his hand. There was a short silence, and then Iruka started laughing quietly. Looking up, the raven-haired teen sent him a questioning look.

"I was just thinking," the brown-haired man explained warmly, "that Naruto was going to throw a fit when he'd hear about this."

As he heard those words, Sasuke did something that very few people have actually seen him doing since the death of his parents.

He laughed.

\--

"So he took the cat in the end?" Kakashi asked between two mouthfuls of rice.

"Yeah."

"The black-haired female?"

"Of course," Iruka answered matter-of-factly as he presented his loaded fork to the Copy nin's mouth, "I noticed he seemed to fancy her more than her little brother since the start. It truly isn't surprising when you think about it." The silver-haired man seemed to want to express his agreement, but didn't as his mouth was busy with his diner.

As the jounin swallowed his rice, Iruka chuckled. "He said he'd name it Yukiko (child of the snow/ little snow). I can just imagine Naruto's reaction when he's gonna hear that."

"Knowing Sasuke, he probably chose that name just to annoy Naruto," the Copy nin said offhandedly.

"And knowing Naruto, he probably wanted to call it ramen to annoy Sasuke," Iruka pointed out with irony as he presented a carrot stick to Kakashi's mouth. The said man smirked a bit before biting into the cooked vegetable presented to him.

Both men stayed silent as Iruka fed the Sharigan user with the few vegetables that were left in his plate. When they were done, the chuunin helped Kakashi to finish drinking his milk and wiped out his mouth.

"So there's just one left," Kakashi finally said, more to himself than to Iruka, or at least that was the brown-haired man's impression.

"Hn."

"Why don't you keep it?" the jounin suddenly asked. Iruka, who had been about to leave when the man spoke up, blinked at the question.

Of course, it was a question he had asked himself several times, but he had yet to find a convincing answer to it. It was not that Umino Iruka didn't like cats. But he had never felt the need to have a pet before, so he didn't know if it was a good idea to keep them - or rather to keep _him_ , since there was only one kitten left now. Of course, he was getting quite fond of the little furballs - he had been surprised to feel down when he had seen Sasuke walking away with the little female in his arms only hours ago. But seriously, who wouldn't be fond of a cute little kitten? It didn't mean anything. And he had no idea if he was still going to like the cat when it'll be grown up. Plus, a cat meant a lot of responsibilities and troubles... And he already had his share of responsibilities.

"I don't know... I'm not really a cat person," Iruka explained half-heartedly, not feeling that convinced himself. Nor seemed to be the Copy nin; Kakashi gave him a skeptical look and the chuunin rolled his eyes, feeling mildly annoyed to be forced to explain himself.

"I just don't want a pet. Anyway, the poor thing's gonna feel lonely when I start working again."

"Pets are good for you. It's always nice to have something waiting for you when you return home. Besides, cats don't get lonely."

"Of course they do," The chuunin pointed out, "And who are you to say that; you don't even own a pet yourself."

"Yes, I do!" Kakashi protested and Iruka stared at him with surprise - he had visited the man's apartment and he was quite sure that he hadn't seen a hint of a pet anywhere, not even the shadow of a little goldfish. The jounin's uncovered eye curved up at the sight of Iruka's midly puzzled face. "I have Mr. Ukki."

"Mr. Ukki?" Iruka gave him a dumb stare. "You mean that plastic plant written 'Mr. Ukki' in big fat red letters on its pot?"

The jounin nodded happily. "Kakashi-sensei, plants **aren't** pets. Especially not plastic ones."

"Iruka-sensei, you truly have no imagination at all," the jounin answered offhandedly. Iruka then felt stupid as he realized the man had never been serious about it. The chuunin mildly wondered how he hadn't realized it sooner, since it was obvious that the silver-haired man, even if he had strange social conceptions, was _not_ retarded. And thinking a plastic plant could be a pet _was_ definitely being retarded.

Which lead Umino Iruka to a conclusion. Either Hatake Kakashi had a very strange sense of humor or he was a horrible liar.

Possibly both.

"But I guess it can't be helped since you have never been introduced to real imaginative literat-"

"If you're going to tall about Icha Icha again I'm outta here," Iruka warned him flatly, knowing only too well where such a discussion would lead them.

"Sure, but before you leave, would you mind just leaving it in front of me and opening it to the first page..." The jounin asked hopefully and Iruka sighed. He had known it would end up like this...

"Can't you think of anything else than those horrible perverted books?" the academy teacher asked him with slight annoyance.

"But Iruka-sensei, how am I supposed to think of anything else when I can see it over there, laying on the desk with its shiny orange cover...?"

What, Iruka was sure, was meant to be a convincing argument in the ex-anbu's head gave the chuunin a very evil idea. Because the brown-haired man hadn't forgotten how the jounin had made fun of him earlier in the day - oh no, he hadn't. He had spent most of his afternoon wondering how exactly he was going to pay Kakashi back for his little teasing remarks, but alas hadn't been able to come up with anything brillant. Not because Umino Iruka lacked imagination when it came to punishments - his students could certify it wasn't the case - but because it was difficult for him to find a good punishment for the silver-haired man since he was aware that Kakashi had only been teasing him and had been in his right to. Which meant he needed to find a punishment that wouldn't be too harsh with the jounin, but that would also satisfy him. And that was quite a challenge. But this time, Iruka thought with a proud grin, he really found with the perfect solution. All thanks to the Copy nin. Not that he was going to rub it in like that; he wasn't _that_ mean...

...Well, okay, maybe he was.

"Really?" Iruka asked the masked jounin, faking surprise. "Geez, why hadn't you said it earlier? Then it's quite simple."

Kakashi shot him a surprised and mildly wary look but Iruka ignored it; he got to his feet, grabbed the tray laying on the man's laps and walked to the desk where Naruto's obcene present, along with Sakura and Sasuke's ones, was. Then, he took the infamous orange book in his hands and waved it at Kakashi.

"Since it bothers you so much, I'm going to hide it somewhere in the house - most likely were you'll never find it - and _not_ give it back to you until you leave next week. How does that sound?"

Iruka watched with amusement as he saw the bed-ridden man blanching with horror, eyeing him like he was some kind of madman and was menacing to blow up a bus full of innocent kindergarden children.

"Actually," the jounin said on a suddenly much higher than usual voice, "there's no need to-"

"I don't want to hear about it," Iruka cut him in a teacher-like way, "You shouldn't be thinking about it anymore, so I don't want to hear about it. If you're a good boy and don't talk about it until next week, I _might_ decide to give it back to you, say, two days before your departure? Deal?"

Blankly, the Copy nin nodded and without further ado, Iruka turned on his heels and walked away, leaving the stunned man behind. As he walked out of the room, the chuunin couldn't fight back a smirk of satisfaction. He knew he should have felt at least a bit guilty to deprive the wounded man from his treasured book, especially since he didn't have a good reason to do it. But somehow, the chuunin couldn't bring himself to feel guilty at all for what he'd done. The only feeling washing over him was one of intense satisfaction. As he recalled the priceless look on the Copy nin's face, the chuunin felt pride swell in him and his smile widened - oh no, he sure as hell didn't feel guilty at all! The only thing he regretted was that he couldn't do it over and over again to see the porn addict stare at him in horror as he took his precious book away...

Iruka knew it wasn't a very nice thing to wish, but he couldn't bring himself to care; as far as Iruka was concerned, Kakashi had it coming for 1) teasing him, 2) bothering him with those books and 3) being an impatient jerk. Because the jounin only had had another day to wait before being able to finally read his damn book. But of course he couldn't wait. Waiting was _not_ for Hatake Kakashi. Well if _that_ wouldn't teach the jounin to be patient, nothing would, Iruka thought with dark amusement. And maybe it would teach him that annoying people was _not_ a good way to get something out of them. Not that Iruka would have helped Kakashi to read Jiraiya's newest piece of junk even if he would have asked it nicely, but still.

But more than anything else, Iruka felt like he had finally settled down the score with the silver-haired man. Like they were quits now. He knew it was silly of him to think that way, but... Although he had reluctantly come to start pardoning Kakashi for stalking him in the past week, there had been something nagging him, something preventing him from being able to truly forgive the man. His hurt pride, maybe. But it seemed now that his pride had been avenged. Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to truly forgive him now. Not that Iruka honestly wanted to forgive Kakashi, but he knew it wasn't healthy not to, especially since Kakashi-sensei was Naruto's Team leader and that they were bound to meet again after this was all over. He guessed he just needed to... forget about it.

Besides, Iruka thought happily, depriving the man from his porn for a while could only be good for him. Without his cherished 'Icha Icha', Kakashi was bound to get bored. And Iruka fully intended to use the jounin's boredom to try to introduce the Copy nin to _real_ literature and show him that 'Icha Icha's were not the only books on Earth.

Most people would have thought Iruka was off his rockets to give himself such an impossible mission, and Iruka probably would have agreed with them only a short while ago. But ever since he had that strange - and somewhat humiliating - discussion with the Copy nin earlier in the day, the brown-haired man was seeing Hatake Kakashi's addiction to those bad-written porn novels under a new light. Indeed, he had previously assumed – like most of his peers - that Hatake Kakashi was just another pervert but his whole perception of the jounin was challenged when he learnt that the man wasn't reading the Icha Icha series out of perversion. Because reading Icha Icha all the time without being a pervert didn't make sense since the sex scenes were the only reason why people read these books to start with - let's say it quite frankly, Jiraiya was _no_ writer. It was common knowledge, even among his fans. Then, what could possibly explain the Copy nin's interest for such reading materials? Kakashi had said he was reading them out of habit, but Iruka wasn't satisfied with that answer; anyone could see that the jounin loved those books, it was obvious. But why?

After much thinking, the academy teacher came to the conclusion that Kakashi's interest for the sannin's books probably was not an interest for pornographic novels per see, but rather an interest for _lecture_. At first, such a theory had seemed weird, but in fact it made sense because, in all likelihood, the first - and only - book the Copy nin had ever read was an Icha Icha. Which explained why the silver-haired man liked them so much: he had never read anything else, so he couldn't compare it to something he already knew. And even though his theory sickened him, Iruka had to admit it _did_ make sense; from what Iruka knew of the man, the young Kakashi, chuunin at six, probably hadn't thought much of loosing training time to read, and he probably would have never started reading in the first place if he hadn't tried reading Jiraiya's novels as a mean of training. But those were only speculations, of course. Iruka couldn't know for sure if he was right or not, but in either case he had decided he was going to introduce Hatake Kakashi to real books. He had a few good books he could share with the silver-haired man - anything to help him getting rid of his addiction to those horrible novels who were assuredly setting a _very_ bad example of social interactions for a man lacking social skills as much as him.

Iruka smiled at the thought: those were the kind of punishments he liked the most - constructive actions disguised as punishments. There was nothing more satisfying than punishing someone and knowing you're helping them without them realizing it.

Feeling surprisingly happy with himself, the chuunin put the infamous orange book he just had confiscated on the table, intending to find a good hiding spot for it once the Copy nin was asleep, and dumped the rest of the dirty dishes in the sink. Humming, he helped himself with the left-over rice and boiled vegetables and started eating absent-mindedly, mildly wondering which book he'd first lend to the silver-haired man when the man would be able to move again - which reminded him that in less than a day, he wouldn't have to tend to the jounin's every body needs anymore. That thought alone made him want to dance with happiness.

Definitely, this turned out to be a good day in the end.

As Iruka finished eating his dinner and started washing the dirty dishes, he heard the silver-haired man calling for him. The chuunin frowned; had it imagined it or was it a plead in the Copy nin's voice? Feeling mildly worried for some reason, Iruka dried off his hands on a nearby cloth and hurried to the guestroom.

"Kakashi-sensei? What is it- _**!!**_ "

Words died in Iruka's mouth as soon as he reached the guestroom door, surprise silencing him. Then, an amused smile graced his lips and he crossed his arms, leaning against the threshold casually as he watched with interest the strange yet rather cute scene taking place in front of him.

There was Hatake Kakashii, half-lying on his bed with his blue pajamas on. Exactly like Iruka had left him around half an hour ago. Yet there was something on the man's bed he was quite sure that _wasn't_ there when he left the room - on the top of Kakashi's pillow stood a small grey furball.

A gray furball who could be seen happily munching the Copy nin's right ear.

Iruka stared some more at the scene, feeling highly amused by the sight of the cute little kitten eating Kakashi's earlobe with energy, much to the man's obvious dismay. The almighty Hatake Kakashi, being terraced by a mere _kitten._ If Naruto ever heard about this, Kakashi would never hear the end of it, he thought playfully. The jounin sent him a pleading look, looking rather distressed that his ear was being used as a chewtoy. Iruka could only sympathize with him, but it didn't stop him from finding the whole situation very funny.

"Iruka-sensei...?" he asked meekly, an obviously plead in his voice.

"What?" the brown-haired man asked with faked innocence. He couldn't resist it. It was far too amusing for him _not_ to tease at least a bit the Sharigan user about it.

"Could you, hum, get me rid of... it?"

"I don't know," the academy teacher said back with a playful hesitation, "You sure seem to have a lot of fun together..."

At those words, the jounin sent him a betrayed look worthy of a child whose chocolate cake piece had been taken away from him in front of his eyes and Iruka burst out laughing at that thought. Shaking his head with amusement, he walked up to the bed and took the mischievous kitten in his arms, away from Kakashi's molested earlobe.

"This little boy seems to like you a lot, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka teased the silver-haired man, who sent him a dull look clearly showing that he thought this was NOT amusing and did not want to discuss the matter any further. Smiling, Iruka looked down at the little culprit. "Molesting people is _bad_ ," he scolded quietly the kitten, but the little furball didn't seem to care at all - instead, he stared with confusion and mild curiosity at Iruka's muscled chest with its wide and still a bit blueish eyes. Then, the little kitten started trying to work his way out of the man's arms, as if he had decided Iruka's arms were boring and wanted to get out of there. Unfortunately for him, the chuunin was holding him well.

Iruka stared at the kitten as he tried relentlessly to free himself and smiled softly.

"You know what, Kakashi-sensei...?" the academy teacher spoke up slowly, "...I think I'm gonna follow your advice and keep him, afterall."

On his bed, the Copy nin seemed to be wondering bitterly what had motivated him to speak the chuunin into adopting that molesting little pest to start with, and Iruka did like he hadn't noticed it.

* * *


	18. They Say Curiosity Killed the Cat

Kakashi sighed. He could feel the tiny ball of warm fur shift slightly against his throat as he breathed out and couldn't help but smile bitterly at the irony of the situation. There he was, Hatake Kakashi, the Great Copy nin, one of Konoha's most effective killing machine, caught in bed because he didn't have the heart to wake up and move the kitten quietly sleeping against his neck, waiting with resignation for the little pest to wake up by himself.

To think that now that he wasn't bed-ridden anymore, he still couldn't move because of a stupid kitten who couldn't tell apart his ears from the chewtoys Iruka had bought him... Because he was able to move now, the jounin remembered with some satisfaction. Tsunade herself had showed up the previous evening to examine him and had been satisfied enough with his healing process to lift up his moving interdiction. He was still forbidden to use chakra of course, but he was allowed to leave his bed and move by himself again, which was a big relief for him. Tentatively, he stretched his fingers, fighting a frown at the numbness he still felt in his muscles. The Hokage had warned him that his muscles would be atrophied from disuse after all those weeks of rest and had ordered him to stay at Iruka's for another week so that the chuunin could help him and make sure he wasn't pushing himself too far, much to his dismay. He wished he would be able to go back home already, but there was nothing he could do about it so he silently complied to the woman's wishes. Besides, living with Iruka wasn't all that bad anymore – as incredible as it sounded, the academy teacher and he were getting along rather well now and if he was to be entirely truthful with himself, the silver-haired man had to admit that he didn't mind staying there for another week or so. Especially since he would be able to tend to his daily needs by himself from now on. The prospect of not being hand-fed, washed or shaved by the chuunin anymore was making the Copy nin so happy that he didn't even have the heart to feel annoyed at the little mischievous furball for sleeping on his neck and preventing him to get up.

… Needless to say, the said furball was better not be planning to use his throat as a cushion for too long or else he would learn the hard way that Hatake Kakashi's indulgence was not limitless.

The silver-haired man suddenly heard a small chuckle. Looking up, he saw Umino Iruka slouching against the doorway, staring at him with a playful smirk.

"Awww, what a cute sight you make together," the chuunin teased him with a grin, "You really are inseparable, aren't you?"

Kakashi glared at him for good measure and the brown-haired man chuckled some more as he walked toward the bed and took the sleeping cat away. "Come on, let's get you dressed; breakfast's ready."

The jounin bit down his sudden irrational desire to tell the man he didn't need his help to get dressed and nodded silently. Slowly, the silver-haired man sat up on the bed and started unbuttoning his pajama shirt with some difficulty, inwardly cursing his fingers for refusing to cooperate in front of the academy teacher. But fortunately for Kakashi's pride, Iruka didn't try to help and waited patiently for the man to be done before he helped him to remove his pants and put on some standard jounin uniform, which proved to be far more problematic to do than removing the shirt in his state. Then, the jounin slowly got up on his feet. His legs felt weak and shaky under him but at least he was able to stand up, which was far more than he had hoped for.

"Do you think you'll be able to walk on your own?" the chuunin asked him silently and Kakashi nodded once again, feeling a bit more confident now that he was already up. But as soon as he tried to lift one foot to walk, his legs started to wobble and gave out under him. The next second Iruka was by his side, holding the older man up to prevent him from falling. The academy teacher then passed Kakashi's arm around his shoulder and put him back on his feet, lifting him with such easiness that Kakashi felt even more vulnerable and weaker as he leaned heavily on the strong chuunin's side.

"… Or maybe not," the Copy nin mumbled awkwardly in the man's arms and Iruka laughed softly.

"It's okay, let's just take it slowly, hn?" he said encouragingly to the Sharigan user and with his help, Kakashi managed to steady his legs enough to walk awfully slowly to the kitchen, where he let himself fall heavily on a chair. As Iruka served him breakfast, the jounin hoped that he wouldn't be so helplessly pathetic for too long; how was he supposed not to need the academy teacher's help anymore if he couldn't even stand on his own damned feet?

Uneasily, Kakashi stared at his breakfast. It was just juice with toasts, something the Copy nin was quite glad for because he doubted he had enough coordination left in his state to eat cereals or groats. Nevertheless, he felt somewhat uneasy and shy as he took off his mask and took a bite into his toast. He knew it was stupid – Iruka had already seen his face plenty of times before. In fact, there wasn't a part of his body the chuunin hadn't seen before – but Kakashi pushed that thought away. He didn't want to go there.

It just felt different, somehow. Because back then, having his face revealed without his consent had been humiliating, sure, but _stripping_ himself of his mask in front of the chuunin made him feel strangely self-conscious and that embarrassed him. It made him feel shy, even. Somehow he felt more naked at that precise moment than he had ever felt before the tanned man, even though it made little sense to him. The academy teacher must have felt it because as soon as he sat down, he immersed himself into the newspaper and never looked up at the Copy nin. Kakashi warily eyed the chuunin for a while before allowing himself to relax and enjoy his simple breakfast, inwardly thanking every god he knew for the other man's thoughtfulness and respect for his privacy.

They ate in a rather companionable silence for a while. When Kakashi was done eating his toast, the brown-haired man spoke up without looking up from his journal.

"You aren't drinking your cranberry juice, Kakashi-sensei?"

The jounin looked up at the reading man and didn't even bother to hide his grimace.

"You aren't drinking it either."

Iruka raised an amused eyebrow at his journal. "Well I'm not the one who was told by the Godaime to drink cranberry juice."

"But my chakra channels are mostly healed right now," the man almost whined.

"Yet you still look weak to me, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka answered back with such obviously fake concern that the jounin couldn't help but glare. But he knew better than to argue any further and started to sip the foul reddish beverage, feeling annoyed at the small satisfied smile tugging on the chuunin's lips as he kept on reading his journal.

Suddenly, somebody knocked on the front door and Iruka put down his journal and got up to meet his visitor. At the very moment the man's back was out of sight, Kakashi took the opportunity to drag his chair as silently as possible to the sink and emptied his glass into it. When Iruka came back thirty seconds later with a package in his hands, he eyed suspiciously the jounin's suddenly empty glass and the man did his best to look perfectly innocent. Which only got him a sceptical raised eyebrow. Damn, he should have known that looking innocent wouldn't work on that man: he was an academy teacher. But to Kakashi's surprise, the chuunin then smirked at him.

"… Well, if you're feeling better then you should help me washing the dishes, don't you think?"

Sometimes, Hatake Kakashi wondered why people thought he was such a genius.

\---

"Kakashi-sensei?"

No response.

"Kakashi-sensei."

Still no response.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

The silver-haired man grunted in acknowledgement, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"I'm going out, do you need anything?"

The jounin let out another noncommittal grunt that Iruka translated into a no. With a small amused smile, the chuunin put on his coat and left the apartment. When he had lent his first book to the Copy nin, he hadn't imagined in his wildest dreams that the jounin would like them so much. In only two days he had managed to wolf down four of Iruka's favourite detective stories and was working his way through his fifth one. The academy teacher had wished to show the jounin that there were tons of books more interesting and better written than the Icha Icha series; well, he had been successful. So successful in fact that at two in the morning the previous night, Iruka had been forced to threaten to take the jounin's book away if he wouldn't close the damned thing and go to bed. The chuunin had a bitter smile at the thought. Well, he guessed that dealing with an unreasonable Kakashi was a small price to pay to get the silver-haired man to start reading something else than porn.

But, as Iruka soon discovered, Hatake kakashi's new-found obsession for reading didn't mean that he had given up on his old reading habits. Quite the opposite. Because no matter how engrossed the jounin was with the books he was reading, Iruka knew that at the very moment he put one foot outside his apartment, the book was laying forgotten on the couch as the Copy nin indulged into his new favourite activity: the Icha Icha Hunt.

It was actually quite amusing to see the man go at it. Every time he thought that the chuunin was not looking, the silver-haired man was combing the whole apartment for his orange book. Iruka even caught him looking in the kettle for it the previous day and found it enormously amusing. He had meant hiding the man's porn as a punishment but strangely enough, the Copy nin seemed to have even more fun than him at this little game, if the way his uncovered eye gleamed with gleefulness when he started hunting again for his book was any indication. Iruka couldn't help thinking he was looking like an over-grown child who had never played hide and seek before and had to admit that it was somewhat cute, in a twisted kind of way. He guessed that the fact that book hunting was the only activity he could do that allowed him to use both his brain and his ninja skills to avoid getting caught accounted a lot for the man's gleefulness.

One would have thought that Umino Iruka wouldn't have allowed – and even encouraged between the lines – the silver-haired man to go through his belongings after what had happened between them. But it wasn't like the brown-haired man had anything interesting to hide from the healing man either – he sure didn't mind the Copy nin going through his lesson plans and his kitchen tools if it amused him. So the chuunin was okay with having a playful Sharigan user combing his apartment - as long as he didn't search his bedroom, he had made that quite clear from the beginning. Besides, the ex-anbu's game could only be good for his healing process and it prevented the man front reading all day long, which wouldn't be healthy. So Iruka let Kakashi indulge into his newest little hobby and it kept the Copy nin happily entertained. Interestingly enough, it seemed like the hardest it was for him to find his book, the more interested he was getting, as if loosing was actually stimulating him. Iruka inwardly smirked at the thought. He was quite proud of his hiding spot – no matter how hard he tried, he knew that jounin would never think of looking _there,_ he was quite sure.

Iruka put in the back of his mind thoughts of the silver-haired man when he turned around his block and henged himself into a fifteen years-old teenager – he wasn't careless enough to walk around without a disguise in Konoha's streets anymore. Then, he headed for the mission room to hand in his latest report on the jounin's healing process, hoping that nobody would see through his disguise and that he would be able to be back on time to make dinner.

The chuunin reached the mission room without a fuss, much to his relief, and was greeted by a few knowing smirks from his coworkers as he entered the mostly empty and miraculously Genma-free room.

"Fancying a new look again, Iruka-kun? Trying to confound your fans?" a coworker teased him and Iruka frowned as he henged back into himself.

"You would if you had people like Anko hunting you down," he answered shortly as he gave his report to the grinning desk chuunin.

"Thank you for your hard work. Oh, by the way, the Hokage stopped by a few hours ago. She said that she'd like you to drop by her office to have a word when you would have some time."

Iruka's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Did she?"

"Yeah, we were wondering what that was about too. D'you know?"

Iruka stared defiantly at them. "Do I look like I'd tell you even if I knew?"

"Told you the direct approach wouldn't work," a chuunin mildly reprimanded the other man.

"Well it was worth a try, wasn't it?" Iruka snorted at that comment.

"You guys spend far too much time with Genma," the academy teacher mumbled as left the room and jumped his way through the village's roofs to the massive tower, pondering about the same thing as his curious coworkers. What could the Godaime want with him? Such an informal request to see him was unusual, to say the very least. And very un-Godaime-ish. He didn't know why, he knew it was stupid, but he had a bad feeling about this…

Shrugging his paranoid worries, the chuunin walked past the silent guards posted in front of the Tower's imposing entrance doors and to the woman's office. Before he could even lift his arm to knock on the door, the Hokage was already telling him to come in, a command he complied to with mild uneasiness – somehow, he couldn't shrug the feeling that he had just walked into a trap.

Behind her huge desk and half a dozen of alarmingly high piles of paperwork, the blonde woman greeted him with a tired smile.

"You wished to see me, Hokage-sama?"

"Yes, I've been meaning to have a word with you Iruka-kun," the sannin answered lazily. "Don't stay there standing at the doorway, take a seat."

The chuunin walked to one of the large cushioned chair the woman waved at and sat down, trying to ignore the small voice inside of his head telling him to run while he still could. Why was he feeling so paranoid anyway? The blonde woman probably only wanted to have news of how things were going with Kakashi. There was nothing to get so worked up over. Seriously, he hoped he was not starting to lose his touch already; he had thirty pre-genins to go back to in a week, he couldn't afford not to be sharp.

"So," the Godaime started off casually, "Are you and the brat getting along any better?"

Iruka relaxed at the predictable question. "We are getting along well enough, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage raised an eyebrow at him. "So you are on friendly terms now, am I to understand?"

"… 'friendly' would be stretching it, Hokage-sama."

The sannin eyed him thoughtfully for a long moment and Iruka stared at her desk, refusing to acknowledge the mildly sceptical eyebrow raised at him. Kakashi and him sure enough were not friends; true, they had developed over the weeks a strange kind of silent understanding of each other and were getting along surprisingly well lately, but that didn't mean they were friends. At the best, they were on good terms, he'd admit so much. But certainly not on friendly terms.

"And how are the blind dates going? Have you found yourself a nice girlfriend yet?" The women suddenly asked and the question caught Iruka by surprise.

"Er, no, I haven't," the chuunin answered a bit uneasily, feeling suddenly wary about where that discussion was headed.

"What's wrong with you, Iruka?"

"Pardon me?"

"What's wrong with you? You have the whole single female population of the village at your feet to choose from and yet none of them ever seem to catch your eye."

Iruka fidgeted, feeling increasingly uneasy under the Godaime's piecing hazel eyes. Why was she staring at him so seriously? He had been asked this question several times before, but somehow now it just felt… wrong. There was something off about this whole discussion. Iruka couldn't put his finger on what it was, but he was starting to feel anxious about what that informal meeting was truly about.

"…I don't know, Hokage-sama."

The woman let herself fall back into her huge armchair and stared at the chuunin, an unreadable expression on her deceitfully young features.

"Have you ever asked yourself why none of these women seemed to turn you on, Iruka? Have you ever considered that maybe those women don't catch your eye because you have different tastes?"

Iruka frowned warily but remained silent – he didn't know what to answer to that. Sure, he had asked himself those questions countless times, but somehow he couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something unsaid, some nasty surprise waiting for him in store. When he wouldn't answer, the Hokage bent forward him and spoke up quietly, her piercing eyes never leaving his.

"Have you ever considered that maybe women might just be your thing, Iruka?"

It took the chuunin's brain five seconds to understand the implications behind he blonde's words and when he did, he felt shocked panic spread through him.

"W-what?!" he squealed in protest and the Hokage gave him a dull look.

"Come on Iruka, you're what? Twenty five? Twenty six? There's no need to panic about it like some pre-teen in denial."

"I'm afraid you're mistaken, Hokage-sama," Iruka said nervously, trying his best to pull himself together. "I'm not… not interested in men _that_ way."

"I didn't say you were, I was just speculating, that's all. But if you're not, then maybe you should ask yourself why you always react so strongly when the subject is brought up."

The academy teacher gaped at her, at a loss for words. He felt himself deflating and let himself slump in his chair, his tired mind feeling strangely foggy.

"You think…? But… I…" he mumbled in a small voice, frowning in confusion.

"It's okay to be confused, Iruka," the Godaime reassured him quietly. "You never quite took the time to think about it before, haven't you?"

The chuunin shook his head a bit warily and the woman nodded knowingly. Then, she grabbed a small flat paper parcel and put it in front of the brown-haired man.

"I have a mission for you. Here."

Perking up at the mention of a mission, Iruka took the thick envelope and opened it. His eyes widened and the next moment, he was closing the envelope in a rush, blushing furiously.

"WHAT!?" he shouted with indignant embarrassment. "W-what's that?!"

The Godaime smirked at the younger man. "Judging by your mortification, I guess that you have a pretty good idea what it is. As for what to do with it, I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

The academy teacher gaped at the woman as if she had grown a second head. "You - You can't be serious?!"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"What kind of mission is this?! You're asking me to – to read _porn!?_ It has to be a bad joke!"

"Get over it already. It's not like it's the first time you see a porn mag, now isn't it?" she asked him flatly and the man's shoulders fell.

"Of course not. But…" Iruka's eyes went to the seemingly innocent brown envelope and he grimaced.

"I don't want to know what you think about it. I expect your mission report on my desk in four days."

At those words, the already appalled man blanched. "Mission... report?"

She smirked at him with blatant amusement "Oh, don't worry, I don't want a detailed report on your, ah, impressions – you can keep that information for you. I just want a description of each page of each magazine. To make sure that you actually go through them. Hopefully, it'll help you to make your mind."

The chuunin gave her a disbelieving look and the blond woman snorted with amusement.

"You're gonna thank me for this one of those days, you know. Okay, you're dismissed. Get the hell out of here."

Iruka stared at the rather smug-looking Hokage and then at the evil envelope on his lap and wondered in despondency how many kittens he had strangled his previous life to deserve this.

\----

Hatake Kakashi was thinking.

It shouldn't be that hard. There were only so many places where one could hide a book – and an orange one at that too. Yet he couldn't find it. He had looked up everywhere for it – he even rummaged through the clean towels cabinet and the wastebasket. The only place he hadn't combed was Iruka's bedroom, as the man had made it quite clear that his room was off-limits. He couldn't have hidden it there, now couldn't he? No, he wouldn't do that. The Icha Icha had to be somewhere else in the apartment. He must have overlooked the hiding spot, that was all.

Kakashi smiled mischievously. True, Iruka hadn't lied about his hiding talents; wherever he had hidden the book, it was a damn good spot. That was practically why it was so fun to look for it.

As the jounin was mentally calculating the dimensions of the apartment to make sure that there was no secret rooms hidden somewhere between the walls, he heard the tale-tell sound of the front door being unlocked. As quickly as his still a bit rusty muscles allowed him, the silver-haired man rushed to the chuunin's small living room, where he pretended to be reading his book like a good boy. Not that he was fooling anyone, but he liked the thrill. I wouldn't be the same if he was to go through Iruka's drawers under his nose now wouldn't it?

Kakashi heard his caretaker close the door behind him and walk into the kitchen and continued to read where he had stopped when the man had left an hours or so ago, as Detective Jones was interrogating the victim's old neighbour. As he was starting to get engrossed by Jones' sharp questions again, the jounin got distracted by the unusual absence of sounds in the apartment. The chuunin was in the kitchen, but he wasn't making a noise. Strange. Shrugging it off, the jounin went back to his book without a second thought.

One would think that it was easier to immerse oneself into a book when there were no random annoying sounds to distract them. Yet, the unusual absence of any dishes being washed, lesson plans being written or even tea being sipped seemed more distracting to the Copy nin than could ever had been a construction team putting down some of his host's walls. Because it was juste wrong for Umino Iruka to be there but to produce no sound. When a few more minutes passed by in absolute silence, Kakashi just gave up on reading altogether, closed his book and walked to the kitchen to see what was going on.

Curiously, he poked his head into the kitchen and unsurprisingly discovered that there was absolutely nothing going on; the brown-haired man was standing in the middle of the kitchen and staring at the stove, seemingly lost in thoughts. Thus explaining the silence.

"Welcome back, Iruka-sensei."

The jounin's soft-spoken greeting seemed to startle the brown-haired man, who for some reason appeared to be unusually nervous.

"Oh, Kakashi-sensei. Uh, thanks. How was your day?"

The silver-haired man shrugged and leaned casually on the threshold. "Fine. What are you doing?"

"What I'm doing…?" Iruka blinked dumbly at him. "Oh! Huh, I was… just about to make dinner. Thinking about it, you know."

"That's why instead of buying groceries, you went to the bookstore?" Kakashi asked teasingly as he pointed a brown back that obviously contained magazines laying forgotten on the kitchen table. The words were barely out of his mouth that the jounin got the most interesting reaction from the younger man. At the mention of the seemingly innocent paper bag, the chuunin's eyes widened and his face positively drained from all colours. Then panic clouded his features and before Kakashi even understood what was going on, he made a dive for the bag and put it out of the jounin's reach.

"No! Er, I mean, yes! Yes, I went to the bookstore and I bought a cooking book," The chuunin explained hastily, obviously trying not to sound too suspicious but failing at it miserably. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the quite unexpected overreaction and bad lie but didn't comment. Obviously, the academy teacher really didn't want to talk about whatever was in that bag, so Kakashi wasn't going to bug him about it. Nodding, he turned around and went back to the couch where he picked up his book again, fully intending to forget about the strange incident and go back to his fictional characters.

Minutes went by and somehow, the Copy nin found himself unable to concentrate on the novel's exciting plotline anymore. For some reason, he couldn't help thinking about Iruka's suspicious reaction, wondering what the hell there could have been in that simple bag for the honest and straightforward man to react so defensively. For Umino Iruka to fail so miserably to hide his distress, the content of the brown envelope must have been quite upsetting. But what would upset the man to that point?

Sighing with frustration, Kakashi tried for the tenth time to focus his attention again on his reading material, but to no avail. Somehow his mind kept on drifting back to the contents of that stupid bag, the seemingly innocent brown envelope nagging him and laughing of his pointless attempts to distract himself from what was going on in the kitchen.

Suddenly, the silver-haired man heard a frustrated sigh and the banging sound of something being thrown into the kitchen wastebasket. The next thing he knew, the embarrassed-looking chuunin was slamming his bedroom door behind him, leaving a very perplexed Copy nin to stare blankly at the said door. He blinked at it, and then his eyes went to the now empty kitchen doorway.

They said curiosity killed the cat. Well Kakashi wasn't a cat, but he was curious as hell about what was in that damn envelope that upset the brown-haired man so much that he had just uncharacteristically thrown it out of anger. In the kitchen wastebasket. Six feet away from him.

Kakashi knew he should respect the academy teacher's private life. Really, he did. Wasn't it the reason why Iruka had been so angry at him to start with? But this was different. It wasn't as if he was breaking into the man's privacy, he told himself as he quickly retrieved the mysterious envelope and slid its lid open, because the chuunin had just gotten rid of the envelope when he put it into the garbage bin. So theoretically, it was anybody's to take now. Therefore there was nothing wrong for him to have a quick look.

Holding his breath in anticipation, the silver-haired man let the content of the envelope slide into his hands and stared in bewilderment at the sight that met his eyes.

A huge pair of naked boobs.

The jounin blinked again, stupefied. That was it? The chuunin had been so upset over… a porn mag? He knew that the brown-haired man was rather prude, but getting so upset over a bunch of images of naked women was overreacting. But then again, maybe _he_ was the one who was not prude enough about those kind of things…

With a thoughtful frown, Kakashi slid the first mag to the side to see the second one and his frown instantly turned into a mildly surprised expression. Now, that was interesting… He sure had never thought that the young man's tastes went that way. But by the distress the man had demonstrated at the mention of those magazines, the silver-haired man doubted that he had been the one to buy them to start with. Huh. Curiouser and curiouser…

Who would be so out of their mind to buy and give to Umino Iruka male _and_ female erotica? And for what reason?

As he quietly put the magazines back into the kitchen wastebasket and went back to his book, the Copy nin mused over that question and tons of others nagging him, realizing with a start that although he had stalked Umino Iruka for months, he actually knew very little about the man. Which bothered him.

Why was it bothering him? What did it change that he couldn't explain what was upsetting the chuunin so much about receiving porn? Why was he caring?

Then, Hatake Kakashi realized that in the end, he knew just as little about himself as he did about the academy teacher.

When later that day the brown-haired man came out of his room and retrieved the brown envelope from the wastebasket and brought it back to his own room, Kakashi pretended that he didn't know what was in there and the chuunin pretended that he didn't know the jounin knew. They ate in companionable silence and Kakashi helped the chuunin washing the dishes. In the evening they did a bit of small talk and had a quite nice time, and Kakashi was quite proud to say that he had somehow with his untactful words managed to make the man smile and forget about his previous embarrassment. Yet when he went to bed that night, the silver-haired man couldn't find sleep, musing about two porn mags and how they had managed to upset so much what had seemed to be yet another quite ordinary day.

* * *


	19. Of Realizations and Discoveries Part I

Iruka was staring at his new lesson plan, seemingly deep in thoughts about what subjects he was going to go over with his students when he would resume his function as an academy teacher on Monday morning. Except he was not. He knew he only had three days to re-adjust his previous lesson plans to what his class studied with his substitute, but somehow he wasn't able to concentrate on that task, his thoughts inevitably drifting back to a certain silver-haired man who happened to be sitting two feet away from him. Inwardly sighing, the chuunin glanced discreetly at the Copy nin, who was immersed in yet another book while a small grey kitten slept on his lap contently.

Kakashi would be leaving in three days.

Of course, Iruka was happy about it because it meant he would be able to go back to his normal life – go back to his rowdy students, his teasing coworkers and his long evenings spent alone correcting homework. One would say that he was not all right in his head to long for such an unexciting yet demanding lifestyle, but Iruka was content with it – besides, he was tired of staying home and being unproductive all day, he couldn't wait to be back to work and _do_ something. So of course, since it meant he would go back to his normal life, he was happy that the man was finally leaving.

… Yet, he wasn't.

Iruka's eyes went back to his lesson plan in a futile attempt not to think about it, but he knew it was pointless. He was going to miss the Copy nin. More than anything, he thought he just didn't want to admit it to himself. He had spent countless nights cursing the jounin and had wanted so bad to get rid of him, yet now that the man was about to finally leave, he felt like he was going to _miss_ him? No way. It just couldn't happen… Yet it was happening, somehow. Was it what the Hokage had had in mind when she had ordered him to take care of the Sharigan user? Maybe. But who could have predicted that he was to develop affinities with the Copy nin, of all people – and especially considering their past history?

Frowning, Iruka wondered for what felt like the hundredth time how it had happened. He had tried his best to remain neutral and focus on taking care of the man. Sure, he had tried to help him get a grip on a few social no-noes the man seemed to lack on the way because back then it had seemed to be the right thing to do, but nothing more. He sure hadn't planned to get attached. He hadn't wanted this to happen. Hell, he hadn't even thought that such a thing could happen!

What were they anyway? Friends? No, he wouldn't go as far as to say that. They were far too different. He guessed it was more appropriate to say that they were intimate acquaintances, although he wasn't quite sure what it was supposed to mean. And didn't quite like the sound of it, now that he thought about it… It sounded too much like "fuck friend" to his ears.

That thought made him snort. The thought of him and the prude and mysterious Copy nin shagging the bag was so ridiculously far-fetched that it was almost amusing. Besides, Iruka knew the silver-haired man enough to know that for all his taste for pornographic material, Kakashi was far too innocent – or more accurately too afraid of human contact – to indulge into random sex with a near stranger. The man most probably had never even had sex before… Not that he was one to talk himself, of course. Besides, it really, _really_ wasn't of his business.

Maybe the reason why he was feeling this strange plucking in his chest at the thought of the jounin's fore coming departure was because, at some point during the man's stay, he had started to care about him. Yes, he guessed he cared about the man. Not because he liked him per see, but because he realized that the jounin just didn't mean any harm - he didn't know better most of the time – and felt compelled to help him out. Although if he was to be entirely truthful, Iruka had to admit that Hatake Kakashi could be a rather pleasant man to be around when you got to know him enough to see past his social awkwardness and eccentricities. Nice, even. He was generally considerate of others and honestly cared about his students, in his own twisted kind of way. He was kind, patient and could sometimes be surprisingly amusing, although Iruka always wondered, knowing the man, whether it was on purpose or not. Overall, the brown-haired man guessed that the jounin was quite nice to be around when you knew him.

…Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that things were less boring when the ex-anbu was around. The silver-haired man, with his eccentricities, his small obsessions and his strangely witty humour, had managed to make the academy teacher's dull life less redundant and against all expectations, Iruka had liked it. Not because Kakashi had upset his boring life, but rather because he had not. He knew it sounded strange, but the brown-haired man felt that the jounin had not changed his life, but rather had managed to find a place for himself in it - a place where he belonged, as if that place had always been his to start with. Encrusting himself into the chuunin's routine rather than altering it. And some part of Iruka knew that more than anything else, he was feeling sad at the prospect of loosing a part of his few-found routine that he had come to cherish.

But that thought left the chuunin with a nasty aftertaste, because it implied that it he cared more for his boring routine than he did for the Copy nin. It was plain selfish of him to wish that a man he didn't even see as a friend would continue to hang around at meal times and help him wash the dishes every night because he didn't want to go back to be all by himself again. He wasn't the kind of person to use people to his convenience like that, and he felt guilty for secretly wanting to be entertained without any ties or responsibilities behind it. For not missing the Copy nin himself, but just his presence. But it was stupid of him to have such thoughts, because he didn't _want_ to miss the man. And he sure didn't want to use him either!

Not that it would happen anyway. They would probably part and both go back to their previous life, as if nothing had happened. In the end, all that would change would be that they would say hi to each other as they walked down Konoha's ever so busy streets. Maybe exchange a few comments about the weather and team seven's improvement, but that would be all. And that was the way things were supposed to be.

Then why was that prospect saddening him?

Iruka closed his eyes and rubbed them tiredly. Maybe he was thinking too much into it. So what if he was feeling kind of bad that Hatake Kakashi was leaving in two days? Life would go on. Always has, always will.

With that somewhat comforting thought in mind, Iruka tried to focus his attention back to more important and urgent matters. Like how he was supposed to fit all those English and math classes his substitute had skipped because he thought they were boring – or more likely couldn't handle forty bored eight year-olds - into his teaching schedule without boring to death his students and therefore busting up the already alarmingly bare reparation budget. Or starting to make diner already, since it was starting to get late.

… Or starting to work on _that_ mission report, Iruka's brain pointed out, and the chuunin's face darkened. He cursed himself for having such a good memory – as if he didn't have enough things on his mind already! Damn Hokage and her way of dealing with things! You don't know if you're gay or not, Umino? Just read some porn and you'll have your answer! Geez, what kind of advice was that?!

And what if he _didn't_ really want to find out? What would it change to suddenly know which way he swung? It was not like he was going to start frequenting gay bars and do some shameless flirting tomorrow morning if he turned out to be gay. He was just fine like he was: overworked, single and mostly asexual. He didn't see why that had to change. And his short experience as a first-choice marriageable man had positively convinced him that he preferred remaining single for the rest of his life rather than to go through another date ever again anyway. So what was the point?

Fuming through his lesson plans, the chuunin tried to ignore the small voice that reminded him of the Hokage's words. What if his reluctance to think it over was in fact some kind of proof of denial? If not, why did he always react so strongly to the mere mention of his hypothetical homosexuality, like the Godaime had pointed out? Hitting Genma because of a bad joke and nearly having a panic attack in front of the Hokage…? And then, there was _that_ dream that had started everything…

Shaking his head to chase those thoughts away, the chuunin sprang up and walked to the kitchen where he tried to busy himself with something. But even as he cooked the rice, cut down the vegetables and started to stir-fry them, he couldn't get rid of the uncanny impression that deep down, he already knew the answer to those questions.

As he watched the slices of pepper and onion roast, his throat started to tighten as the inevitable conclusion dawned on him. He already knew… yet he didn't want to know. No, he didn't. Because he knew there was only one thing he possible couldn't want to know…

Goddammit. He was too old for this. Too old for those stupid pre-teen questions and worries. Too old for getting so fucking upset over it.

But more than anything else, he was too fucking old to realize only now that he was _gay_! This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. It had to be some kind of bad joke!

The brown-haired man was suddenly brought back to reality as he felt a large, strong hand wrap over his. Startled, the chuunin quickly eyed the pale hand wrapped around his on the pan's handle and looked up to see the Copy nin's body looming over him. Their bodies were so close that he could feel the heat the other man radiated and for a second the man's closeness made his heart pound frenetically.

"K-Kakashi-sensei!" he squealed and the jounin at once let go of his hand and backed away. "What the-?!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"W-what was that for?" Iruka asked nervously, his heart still pounding at the remembrance of the quite unexpected invasion of his personal space.

"I'm sorry. I tried to call you, but you seemed to be distracted… and I thought that you wouldn't want all that good food to go to waste."

Iruka blinked at the Copy nin dumbly a couple of times before shifting his gaze to the pan, where he was shocked to find his stir-fry vegetables looking positively carbonized, emitting a foul-smelling smoke that indicated that any more cooking would probably turn them into a fire hazard. Swearing loudly, Iruka rushed to the sink where he drenched the pan with water, successfully filling his kitchen with hissing sounds and more smoke.

As the hiss of the pan quieted down and that the smoke started to clear, the academy teacher's shoulders and head fell with dejection and the kitchen was plunged into an eerie silence.

"… I guess I should have warned you earlier," Iruka distantly heard the jounin's sheepish apology. "Sorry for that." For some reason, the apology got a low snort out of the brown-haired man.

"Wasn't your fault, Kakashi-sensei. Can't blame you for stopping me 'cause I'm too much of a jerk to notice I'm about to burn down my kitchen, can't I?"

Cautiously, Kakashi approached the obviously upset man slumping over the sink. "Maa, it's just a few burnt vegetables. It's not such a big deal, sensei."

For a long moment, the chuunin remained motionless, staring at the drenched stir-fry helplessly. Then his eyes started to water and he closed them furiously, refusing to let jounin see him cry. He wouldn't cry. Had he sunk so low as to cry over some stupid carbonized slices of pepper like a baby? It didn't matter that those stupid burnt vegetables were nagging him, reminding him how his whole life seemed to be falling apart and all the things that had once made sense to him were slipping between his hands as he watched helplessly. He wouldn't cry over them. It was already bad enough to have the same stupid plights as a hormone-ridden teen, he wasn't going to break down into tears like a five year-old. They would not rob him of his dignity.

Behind him, the chuunin heard the Sharigan user speak up on an unusually sober and serious tone.

"Iruka-sensei. What's wrong?"

Blinking away the tears, Iruka looked up and his mouth twisted into an unhappy, bitter smile. "Me, I guess."

From the corner of his eyes, Iruka saw the Sharigan user stare at him with concern, as if he wanted to say something but didn't know what he was supposed to say to make things better. Of course, someone like Kakashi wouldn't know how to deal with a problem like that. But then again, he didn't have a clue himself what to feel anymore anyway. The whole scene seemed so ironic to the brown-haired man that he couldn't help but let out a short, bitter laugh.

"Stupid, isn't it? To pity you for being such a fucked-up mess when I'm just as bad as you in the end. What a bunch of fucked-up retards we are, huh…"

The academy teacher had muttered those last words with spite, feeling bitter toward life for always making things so damn difficult for him, no matter how hard he tried. As soon as they were out of his mouth though, he regretted them – no matter how bitter and angry he felt, taking it out on the Copy nin like that was just low. The chuunin looked away.

_God, I'm such an ass._

"Shit. Kakashi… I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

At a loss for words, the brown-haired man suddenly felt extremely tired. He was tired of running, tired of always trying his best, tired of having everything always backfiring at him no matter how hard he tried. So tired that words didn't seem to mean much right then, and somehow he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. So he just let things happen and waited in silence for the jounin's reaction, ready to take whatever the man could come up with.

He hadn't known what kind of answer to expect out of the silver-haired man. Yet once again, the ex-anbu managed to surprise him.

"Maa, comparing me to you…? I didn't know that you could be so mean, sensei. To think they say you're such a nice guy."

Looking up, Iruka gaped at the older man. The chuunin had expected him to be looking down on him with that fake curved eye of his after what he had just said, but was surprised with the sight that met him. Instead of having the fake, sarcastic attitude Iruka had expected to be confronted with, Hatake Kakashi stood in front of him calmly with a gentile yet mildly teasing expression on his half-covered face. The masked man emitted an aura of content tranquility that first disconcerted, then soothed the chuunin. He then realized it was the man's way of expressing what he couldn't put into words.

Kakashi cared. And he didn't care.

And for some reason, it meant a great deal to the teacher.

Iruka's mouth stretched into a hesitant smile and let out a shaky laugh, his eyes watering up again. "They do, don't they? I don't know why. I never pretended to be a nice guy."

The jounin tilted his head and smiled some more at his caretaker. "But you're not a nice guy, Iruka-sensei. You're a good guy."

Wiping away his tears with his hand, Iruka snorted. "That's the problem, you see."

"But maybe for once you could do an exception and be nice enough to order take-out? Because I don't think eating soaked, carbonized stir-fry was part of the Hokage's recommendations."

Somehow, Iruka couldn't help but laugh. Sending a side-glance at the burnt dinner, the chuunin decided to just give up. The Hokage could shove that stupid mission of her up her honourable ass.

"You know what? For this time, I might do an exception. You prefer fried chicken or pizza?"

To his amusement, the jounin positively beamed at him.

"Either way is fine, as long as they don't come with cranberry juice."

* * *


	20. Of Realizations and Discoveries Part II

The following morning found Umino Iruka sipping cheap tea as he rearranged his lesson plans at the small kitchen table. Heaving a frustrated sigh, the chuunin glared at his mostly blank sheet. The neighbourhood was silent, the Copy nin was out grocery shopping, the devilish kitten was sleeping soundly on the couch, the weather was cool and cloudy and there were no chores left for him to do. Simply put, there was virtually _nothing_ to distract him from getting these lesson plan changes done quickly and neatly. Yet for some reason he wasn't able to concentrate on them.

Letting out another frustrated sigh, the brown-haired man grumpily got up to fix himself some more tea. At this rate, he was never going to manage to finalize his lesson plans on time. But he guessed that he should be more worried about _surviving_ his next classes than planning them because if he didn't get his focus back on time for Monday, with a bunch of armed six year-olds on sugar-high to take care of, he was probably not going to make it to the end of the day.

As the water was boiling, Iruka massaged his eyes and tried to chase away all those things that were on his mind and had kept him from getting any actual work done in the past two days. Like Kakashi's imminent departure and the end of his peaceful reclusion from the marriage-crazed Konoha citizens. The whole dating disaster. His messed-up sexual life and orientation. The Godaime's stupid mission report he had given up on working on…

At that thought, the academy teacher felt guilt stir in him for purposefully disobeying a direct order from the Hokage, not matter how humiliating and stupid that order was. As if he wasn't feeling guilty enough for letting the Copy nin talk him the night before into stuffing themselves with enough junk food to have a normal man sent to the hospital…

No wonder he wasn't able to concentrate on his lesson plans.

And as if he wasn't distracted enough already by his own inner turmoil, there were those damned pizza leftovers taunting him atop the microwave, begging to get eaten. He guessed he had missed eating fast food as much as the Copy nin in the past month or so because although they had wolfed down two barrels of fried chicken, one and a half jumbo-sized pizza, four dozens of barbecue chicken wings, three boxes of strawberry ice-cream and all of Sakura's Christmas chocolates by themselves the previous night, Iruka still craved junk food like he hadn't had any in months. But he couldn't have the rest of the pizza all by himself without leaving some to the jounin, couldn't he? It wouldn't be nice of him, especially since Kakashi had been nice enough to go grocery shopping for him in order to "get used to living by himself again". Besides, he couldn't possibly eat pizza at 10:20 in the morning; it was still far too early to eat fast food.

The chuunin glared some more at the innocent cardboard box teasing him from atop the microwave. But on the other hand, he couldn't possibly let the Sharigan user eat any more fattening pizza, couldn't he? It couldn't be good for his health, especially after that junk food festival they had had the previous day. As his caretaker, he shouldn't allow any more consumption of unhealthy food on the jounin's part. And it would be cruel to tempt him with pizza leftovers… He should get rid of them, really.

Besides, 10:20 wasn't _that_ early.

Fifteen minutes later, Umino Iruka glared with frustration at his still desperately blank lesson plan sheet as he sipped some cheap tea, the empty pizza cardboard box laying open in front of him. On the bright side, at least now he didn't have to deal with that distraction anymore, but it quickly proved not to be quite the improvement he had expected it to be.

As Iruka was about to get up and throw the pizza box, somebody knocked on the front door. Recognizing the chakra signature of his visitor, the chuunin's scold turned into a hopeful smile and he got up to open the door. Count on Naruto to cheer someone up, and right then he felt like he could do with some cheering up. Or anything to distract him from thinking restlessly about how much of a mess his life was, really.

As he opened the door, Iruka greeted the blond young man warmly, but his smile wavered a bit at the sight the orange-clad teenager offered. His hands stuck in his pockets in a casual way and his posture relaxed, Naruto stood on his doorway with a wide grin plastered on his face – to a casual observer, he was the very image of a cheerful young man. But Umino Iruka knew better. He knew the teen enough to notice those small things that only a practiced eye could see – for instance, the way the chuunin's hands were curled into fists inside his pockets and the way his smile didn't reach his expressive blue eyes, a tale-tell sign. Naruto obviously wasn't feeling as cheerful and laid-back as he pretended to be.

Pretending he hadn't noticed, the academy teacher motioned his ex-pupil to come in and guided him to the living room.

"It's been a while, Naruto. What brings you here?"

At those words, the blond-haired teenager's fake smile widened. "I hadn't seen you and Kakashi-sensei in a while, so I thought I'd drop by and say hi."

"I'm afraid you've got a bad timing, then. Kakashi-sensei is out grocery shopping, he probably won't be back before another hour or so."

"Is that so? That's too bad, really." The ramen lover obviously meant to sound disappointed, but somehow wasn't very convincing at it. It became evident that he had come to see Iruka, and Iruka _alone_ , which confirmed the chuunin's vague feeling that there was something aloof. He guessed something was probably bothering the blonde young man and that he had come to talk about it, which was by all means nothing unusual; Naruto had come and asked for his advice dozens of times before. But he had always been straight-forward about it and had never pretended to be "just passing by to say hi", and this new, unusual behaviour of his left the academy teacher puzzled and mildly anxious. What could have happened to affect Naruto to the point that he would try to put on this ridiculous casual act?

But no matter how concerned he was, Umino Iruka was a considerate man. If his ex-pupil wanted to play it casual, he would play along and let him set the pace. He had long learnt that it was the best way to deal with reluctant confessors.

"So, what have you been up to recently? Any exciting mission or new spar with Sasuke-kun I should know of?"

The blond-haired teenager laughed. "Iruka-sensei, you make it sound like you think I'm still twelve or something! I'm fifteen, you know! I'm not so obsessed about that stuff anymore."

That smug comment made the chuunin smile. Funny, how teenagers tend to perceive their elders as outdated when it suits them. It was one of the things that never changed with the years.

"Sorry, Naruto. I guess I'm getting old, aren't I? So what are you obsessed about nowadays?"

The young man's smile slipped and he looked away. "Well, you know… other stuff."

There was a short uneasy silence and Iruka quickly offered the teen a cup of tea. Relieved by the distraction, Naruto accepted his ex-teacher's offer and insisted to follow him in the kitchen to help him out, no matter how many times the brown-haired man told him that he didn't need help to boil water. When they reached the kitchen, however, Naruto caught sight of the empty pizza box laying on the table and his expression changed.

"Iruka-sensei, are you breakfasting on… _pizza?_ " the blonde asked with bewilderment and a touch of worry that made the chuunin feel slightly uncomfortable.

"No, of course not! It was just a snack – I needed to get rid of the leftovers anyway, they're bad for Kakashi-sensei's health…"

Somehow, that argument had sounded much more convincing in his head.

"It's not like you to have pizza as a morning snack," Naruto pointed out with a frown, looking increasingly concerned.

"Er, no, it's not," the chuunin answered, starting to feel a bit embarrassed under the younger man's intense look. He knew that look, and he knew where it would lead them. And he did not want to talk about his various personal issues right now, and _especially not_ with the ramen-lover, of all people.

"So what really brings you here, Naruto?" the chuunin quickly asked, "Don't tell me you've come only to say hi, I don't believe it. Is there something on your mind?"

The unexpected question obviously caught the younger man by surprise. But to Iruka's astonishment, instead of looking shocked or embarrassed like he had expected him to, Naruto blinked at him a few times before his worried expression melted into a sober and mildly reluctant one.

"…Well, now that you mention it, there _might_ be something…"

The teacher waited some more, letting the younger man set the discussion's pace. After a while, Naruto sighed heavily, looking like he would have wanted to be anywhere else but in his ex-teacher's small kitchen, which puzzled Iruka. It was not like Naruto to look so hesitant and irresolute, even if he had come to ask for guidance. Whatever was bothering him, it seemed to make him quite uncomfortable.

"You see, lately I've noticed… things."

The brown-haired man raised an eyebrow at the cryptic piece of information but didn't further question the teen. When the older man remained silent, Naruto reluctantly sat down at the kitchen table.

"It was that discussion I had with some friends last month that first got me thinking about it." The teen's face then twisted with concentration. "…I don't really remember what we were talking about to start with – probably something perverted, knowing Kiba and his obsession for girls lately. I don't remember what happened then, but I mustn't have been agreeing with them because Kiba and the rest of the guys got all serious and told me that it was not normal not to like talking about those kind of things for a guy like me. 'Holy shit, don't tell me you're gay Naruto'. That's what he said. And then they all burst out laughing and started to talk about something else. Back then, I laughed along with them, you know, I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Me, _gay_ , you know? But ever since, I've been wondering…"

Iruka felt something sink in him as his ex-pupil's story unfolded. He had half expected to hear something like this at some point, yes – but from the raven-haired Uchiha heir, not from Naruto. And more importantly, he had not expected the teen's experience to be so disturbingly similar to his.

"I… I don't really like girls. Well, I don't think I do. I find them pretty of course, but… but not in the sense that Kiba and the others do, you know what I mean?"

Iruka nodded and the blond-haired man, looking obviously relieved that his ex-teacher understood, went on.

"It's not a big deal, I mean, and it might not even mean anything, you know? I thought that since I'm at that age already, it could be just a passing thing – that is, if it is. I mean, I may as well be mistaken for all I know. Maybe I'm guessing it wrong. And even if I'm not, it's not such a big deal, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure people wouldn't mind."

The blond-haired teenager let out a long, shaky breath and smiled nervously.

"Sorry, I guess I'm not making a lot of sense, aren't I? It's because, well... I know that that alone might not mean anything, but you see, er, there's that person too… Well, it's not that I'm in love with him or anything! But, you know, we have a pretty weird relationship and sometimes I can't help wondering what we are and, you know, what exactly my feelings for that person are…"

Naruto stared down at the floor with a mildly confused and pained expression and Iruka took it as a cue.

"It's alright to be confused, Naruto," the chuunin comforted his ex-student, "There's nothing wrong with it. And there's nothing wrong with being gay either."

"I-I know that. It's just that I… I don't _want_ to be gay! My life is complicated enough like that already, I didn't need this to happen to me."

At those words, Iruka couldn't fight back a thin, ironic smile from stretching his lips. "I understand what you mean Naruto. But why do you think it would make your life more complicated? I don't see why being straight or being gay should change a lot of things. People might look down on you for it, but the people who really count – me, Kakashi-sensei, your friends – won't mind. And there's no need for the rest of the village to know if you don't feel like it."

"I guess you're right, but… I-I know it's stupid of me, but I can't help fearing being gay, because if I am, it might screw up my relationship with that person…" Naruto's face screwed up, and he stared at his feet. "I don't know what we are, it's true, but… whatever we have, I don't want to lose it."

"Naruto. If that person is a real good friend, then he will accept you like you are. And since you're not sure what your feelings for him are, there is no need to tell him about it yet."

At those words, Naruto perked up a bit. "Yes. Yes, you're right. I don't need to tell him anything yet. But… but I'd have to tell him at some point, wouldn't I?"

"Naruto, you're thinking too far ahead. You're not even sure whether or not you prefer guys. Figure that out first, and when you have, then you can start thinking about what that person means to you and see whether or not you see him as just a good friend or something more."

The blond-haired teen nodded his head pensively. "Right."

"Besides… I know that that person is very dear to you and that you wouldn't want to lose him, but it doesn't mean that a change in your relationship would turn out to be a bad thing. It might strengthen your relationship, or even turn it into something else."

Iruka smiled knowingly at Naruto and the teen stared at him with puzzlement.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, between you and me, Sasuke doesn't give a very strong 'straight' vibe, don't you think?"

It was definitely fun to go out fishing, Iruka decided. You never quite knew what you would catch; sometimes, you didn't even know if you were going to catch anything at all. And sometimes you didn't. But sometimes you did, and it was always most satisfying when you did catch something - it made the exercise worthwhile. Because the furious blush and shocked outburst that his question triggered was the only answer Iruka needed, and it was one he welcomed warmly since it felt good too see Naruto being back to his normal, exuberant and predictable self. Even if his ears didn't quite agree with that last part.

Iruka couldn't help it. The teenager was looking so shocked and embarrassed and was trying so hard to babble something logical to defend himself that Iruka couldn't help it. He started laughing. His booming laugh filled the small tidy kitchen and the teen's protests died down in his throat at the sound of the brown-haired man's laugh. Looking annoyed, Naruto stared flatly at his ex-teacher.

"So much for being nice and understanding. I'm not even gay yet and you're already making fun of me!"

Stiffing in a chuckle, Iruka smiled at the petulant young man. "Come on Naruto, there's no need to look so upset about it."

"Hmph. Well I'd like to see how _you_ would react if I implied out of the blue that you were gay for, say, Kakashi-sensei!"

This time, it was Iruka's turn to flush and have his eyes popping out of their sockets with shock at the younger man's suggestion. Choking on his saliva, the academy teacher tried to protest and Naruto burst out laughing at the sight his ex-teacher made.

"W-WHAT?! Me and _Kakashi-sensei_?!"

"Yeah, why not?" the teenager sniggered teasingly. "He's a pretty good-looking guy, and don't we all know just how 'close' you two had the occasion to be in the past few weeks…"

The brown-haired man first gaped, then his eyes narrowed and he glared at his playful ex-student flatly. "You have been spending far too much time with Jiraiya-sama lately, young man."

Naruto laughed some more and Iruka couldn't help but crack a small smile. The blond teenager was so lively and positive it was hard to remain annoyed at him for a long period of time.

They chatted a bit about this and that and after they were done drinking their tea, the ramen lover excused himself. As he walked him to the door, Iruka was glad to see that the young man looked much more relaxed and happier than he had been when he first had showed up on his doorstep and felt relieved that the teenager seemed to be back to his old straightforward and carefree exuberant self. Because a deceptively happy Naruto was just wrong.

As they both reached the doorway, Naruto suddenly paused, looking hesitant.

"Hey, Sensei, about what you said earlier… Do you really think that Sasuke…?"

"That Sasuke what?"

Iruka stared calmly at the blonde and Naruto blinked at his ex-teacher before flashing him a wide, albeit mildly embarrassed smile.

"Never mind."

Waving good-bye confidently at his ex-mentor, Naruto jumped up on the nearest rooftop and disappeared from sight, leaving a mildly amused chuunin on the doorstep. Smiling to himself, Iruka closed the door behind him and pondered on how complex Team Seven's blooming love life was. But that was what being a teenager was about, wasn't it? About pondering and experimenting to find oneself and one's path.

Well, for most people it was.

At that thought, Iruka's smile slipped from his lips and as he went back to his living room and sat on the couch, he mused about the discussion he had just had with the teenager. The confessions Naruto had made and the advices he had provided the teen with had somehow awakened a new awareness in the chuunin and left him with the impression that he needed to reassess where he stood. As he replayed his exchange with the blonde, the school teacher started to ask himself questions.

Had he found his path himself? Up until now, the brown-haired man had always thought that being a good teacher and serving the village was his path. That was the path he had chosen for himself back when he was around the same age as Naruto, when people usually make those kind of choices. He had been content with that choice and that lifestyle so far, but that discussion with the teen had suddenly put things into a new perspective and left him doubtful.

Umino Iruka was 26 years old. Yet did he know himself all that well? Who was Umino Iruka, apart from a mission desk clerk and an academy teacher? What were his goals? His expectations? His dreams and secret ambitions? His hobbies? His passions? Thinking over those questions, the brown-haired man came to realize that all the answers that came to his mind were linked to his work, and not to him as an individual. Because Iruka had always thought that his job and the village came first. And he still did, as a matter of fact. In a ninja village such as Konoha where everyday held a struggle for survival, it was only natural to do so, and everybody put the village first. But his discussion with Naruto had somehow allowed him to see things under a new light and question his own motivations. Yes, it was natural to think of the village first, but wasn't he overdoing it a bit? Everybody was doing sacrifices and working hard, but even by his coworkers' standards he was a workaholic – he had heard them say so on several accounts. And they were probably right too; who purposefully packed their weekly schedules with so much work that they didn't have time left to do anything else than training, eating and sleeping?

No, Umino Iruka was not devoted. He was unhealthily obsessed. It was so obvious it was a wonder he hadn't realized it before. With that thought in mind, the chuunin couldn't help but wonder if his constant focus on his work wasn't in a way meant to keep him too busy to have time to think. What if it was meant to prevent him from thinking too much about himself and question his own life? Had he really chosen his path or had only a part of him done so, leaving the other part behind, forgotten at the crossway? Had he all along just tried to be what other people expected him to be without really bothering to think over what he wanted to be for himself? Back in his teenage years, he had been so eager to be accepted, so eager to get attention and belong to a group. He had decided back then, in what had seemed to him – and everyone else - a good and mature decision, that his path didn't lie in being an attention-seeking trouble-maker but in being a rightful, diligent shinobi the village could count on and be proud of. He had thought that since he didn't have anybody anymore, he would have to become somebody all by himself and stop dreaming about filling the holes left in his heart. He had thought that growing up meant to stop being egoistic and start thinking about others first. He had thought that that was the true meaning of becoming a shinobi, and being a shinobi had been all that mattered. Being a shinobi would solve all his problems.

Back in his teenage years, Iruka had been so eager to have a purpose. His life had a purpose, but did it have a sense?

He had always hated taking vacations. Vacations were depressing because they always reminded him that he didn't have a family, didn't have friends or a lover to go back to when the village didn't need him anymore; all he had to go back to was a tiny, empty apartment filled with pictures of children who had probably long forgotten him and memories of a sad, troubled childhood. Vacations were depressing because they reminded him with every year that passed by that his life had a purpose, but didn't have a sense.

All along he had always tried to convince himself that it was enough, that he didn't need anything else. Even now, he was still trying to convince himself that he was content with his lot. Like when he told himself that he had no reason to feel down because the Sharigan User, who had somehow managed to become the closest thing to a friend he had had in over a decade, was going to go back to his own apartment and his own life and leave him behind. Or like when he told himself that he couldn't care less about his sexual orientation because he was content with his boring, overworked and asexual self and life.

In the end, was Umino Iruka a dedicated, hardworking person or a coward?

But Iruka already knew the answer to that question, didn't he? Hadn't his discussion with Naruto made painfully obvious the fact that he had been hiding himself behind his work for all those years? If not, how can a 26 year-old such as himself be having the same kind of plight as a confused and hormone-ridden experimenting fifteen year-old? It was shameful enough that he was going through the same kind of confusion and questioning as Naruto, who was eleven years his cadet, but the teenager's attitude toward his problem made the brown-haired man feel like a complete immature jerk. Not only was the obnoxious ramen-lover adopting an attitude far more rational and mature than his toward this issue, but he was also more courageous about it than Iruka was. He, for instance, didn't hide himself behind his work and use denial not to have to ask himself embarrassing questions. Instead of refusing to acknowledge the fact that he wasn't sure what his sexual orientation was, he in doubts asked for guidance, no matter how embarrassing it must have been to openly talk about it.

Moreover, Naruto actually had something at stake. He wasn't reluctant about his potential homosexuality just because he wasn't ready to accept himself as a homosexual man, but rather because he was afraid that being gay would alter the complex, fragile yet how precious bond he shared with his best friend. Iruka didn't have such a difficult dilemma and felt like an immature, selfish brat for making such a scene out of something that, in the end, wasn't all that much of a tragedy. What if he was gay? It was not like the whole world would mind. And even if it did, it was not like it would change a lot of things for him.

It was this shame, the shame and humiliation of knowing that even a rash fifteen year-old such as Naruto could act more rationally and maturely than him in this kind of situation, that allowed Iruka to see his life in a different perspective and question the path he had taken, or maybe more accurately the path he had refused to take. And somehow, the chuunin was glad for it. He had thought that he had long learned all the lessons he could learn from Naruto, yet the teenager had managed, once again, to prove him wrong and make him revaluate some of the things in his life he had always taken for granted. Like the fact that his job was enough and that he liked girls.

How ironical that the teenager had come to him for help; of all the people in Konoha, he was probably the most ill-suited to give the blonde any advice when it came to ways of dealings with sexual orientation doubts. Yet, the teen had seemed to feel much more clear-headed when he had left his apartment than he had when he had first come in.

Maybe, the academy teacher mused silently, the real lesson of the day was that it was about time for him to stop putting himself in a separate category and start following his own advices for once. After all, hadn't the words he had said to Naruto made sense? Hadn't he honestly believed in them? His plight and Naruto's had so much in common that all of his advices and reflections were actually as useful to him as they had been to the blonde. Yet instead of using his head to analyze this problem coolly and neutrally like he had just done with the teen, Iruka had put his head in the sands and tried to ignore the whole issue, which was obviously the worse possible way of dealing with any kind of problem. Moreover, how many times had he exhorted his students to remain humans before tools? Yet he himself was little more than a tool for the village, his whole existence coming down to his role as a shinobi. Umino Iruka had dedicated his life to teaching children to be themselves and not to make those kind of mistakes but somehow had managed to make those very same mistakes at every turn. What a fool he had been; so obsessed with making up for what he didn't have that he almost managed to forget what was truly important.

But this would not go on. This _could_ not go on. At the thought of the previous lonely years he had spent doing nothing else but working and training everyday, Iruka felt like he had wasted those years and more than anything, he didn't want to reach the age of fifty only to realize that he had never really lived his life before. He had to do something about it. He had to face himself in the mirror and try to give his life a sense.

At that thought, the chuunin felt disheartened. Somehow, he couldn't help but feel dispirited at the prospect of what giving his life a sense implied. On one hand, he didn't want his life to revolve around work like that forever, but on the other, he knew how hard it would be for him to get rid of his old reclusive habits and his dependence to work and start to go out of his cocoon. He had never been one to like social outings and hanging up with people; he didn't fancy loud and rash behaviour and often felt awkward with other people, especially people he didn't know very well. He really did want to start having a bit more fun in his free time but in this context, going out was quite unappealing and felt forced, and he knew he wouldn't be having fun if it felt forced.

But it was not as if he had a lot of other alternatives. What did other people of his age do to have fun? They hung out together at lunch time and went out drinking together after work. They had parties during which they got drunk, danced, played stupid and loud games and talked about trivial things such as sex and gossip. God forbid, they even _dated_.

The thought of starting going out clubbing with his loud coworkers on Friday nights was so alien and repulsive to the chuunin that it almost made him twitch, but who said that he had to go to such extremes? Maybe if he took it slowly, one step at the time... Yes, he would take things one step at the time, and see where it would lead him. No need to start getting himself smashed in public every Friday night and hanging out with _Genma_ and the rest of his coworkers. And dating was definitely out of question; he'd had his share, thank you very much.

But his habit to isolate and overwork himself wasn't the only thing Iruka had to change about is life; he realized that his reluctance toward sex – or even any kind of romantic relationship – needed to be looked into as well. Not that he felt very inclined toward it, but as Naruto had made painfully obvious, it was something he should have done years before and that couldn't be put off anymore.

Thinking over the guidance he had given to his ex-student, Iruka decided to stop acting like a teenager in denial and face the whole issue of his undetermined sexual orientation like the adult he was: openly and rationally. Like he had told Naruto, there was nothing wrong with preferring males to females when it came down to partner tastes. And there was no need to rush things either: he wasn't even one hundred percent sure that he fancied men, and even if he did, it didn't mean that he had to start going out men hunting tomorrow night. It didn't mean his whole life would have to change. There was therefore no reason to fear discovering the truth.

Making up his mind, Iruka get up and walked to his room, where he quietly closed the door behind him. Summoning up his courage and putting aside his embarrassment, the academy teacher dig a brown envelope from under his mattress, where he had hidden it in hopes of never having to set his eyes on it again. Frowning contemplatively at the envelope still in his hands, he wondered for what must have been the thousandth time why he had retrieved it from the kitchen waste basket to start with. He really should have thrown it out. Yet he hadn't thrown out the disgusting piece of trash, and by some twist of irony, he was now seriously contemplating going through it. Feeling guilty and embarrassed by that idea, the chuunin looked away, a faint blush spreading on his tanned cheeks.

Frowning, Iruka forced himself to look back at the brown envelope. He was twenty six for God's sake, getting embarrassed at reading porn at his age was just shameful. Besides, it was either that or he would have to start checking out random people. And the prospect of starting to check out people _that_ way was just gross when living in such a small village. If he went that way he knew what would happen: before he would know it, he would be eyeing out people he worked with and saw on everyday basis like Kurenai, Asuma or God forbid, _Genma_. And he'd much rather go for too lightly dressed yet anonymous, safe strangers; less chances of getting permanently traumatized. Without mentioning less chances of having people noticing and teasing you restlessly about it, which happened to be precisely what most of his bored mission room coworkers seemed to occupy their free time with – teasing people about petty and embarrassing things.

Iruka stared with more determination at the brown envelope. Yes, this was by far his best option, no matter how unappealing it was. With a sigh, he sat down on his bed and with a light blush spreading on his cheeks, he slowly took the two magazines out of their envelope.

\---

Hatake Kakashi was feeling happy with himself. He was glad he had managed to convince Iruka to let him go do the groceries by himself; walking out in the village's streets again was truly refreshing for a man who had spent the last month or so under house arrest. The weather wasn't even nice and the scenery wasn't particularly beautiful either, but the jounin couldn't have cared less; the sense of freedom that this walk was bringing him was more than enough to compensate for it. It was good to be able to do things by oneself and not being babied anymore.

Actually, Kakashi was more than a little proud of himself. Only five days ago he had still needed Iruka's help to walk around the small apartment and now he was able to walk all the way to the grocery store by himself, do his grocery shopping and walk back with his purchases. The silver-haired man knew it was stupid of him, the legendary Copy nin, to be so proud of being able to carry a bunch of vegetables and a milk litter around the village, especially since his muscles had been showing signs of fatigue for a while now and that he expected to be exhausted by the time he finally reached Iruka's apartment. But for some reason he didn't really mind. Maybe he had to thank the chuunin for making him realize that there were things more important than being fit for another mission. Things like being alive.

Hatake Kakashi had never been one to highly value his own existence, but spending nearly one month in the brown-haired man's company had made him realize just how fragile and precious life was, and he was feeling gladder to have survived than he had never felt before. In retrospective, the chuunin and his month of common life hadn't been all fun and games; they had had plenty of painful, awkward moments and Kakashi still remembered vividly the days he had spent staring at the ceiling and mourning over his mistakes and his failures as a human being. But unexpectedly, thing between them had improved and somehow, Iruka had managed to forgive him, although the Sharigan user knew that the chuunin probably wouldn't admit it even under torture. He could be such a stubborn little man.

That chain of thoughts made the jounin feel suddenly depressed. In the last few days, Kakashi had been happier than he had been in the past ten years, happier even than he had been back before Team seven broke up and Sasuke went away. Somehow, there was something about Umino Iruka that appealed to him, that made him feel at ease. When Umino Iruka was around, he felt safe. Yet, his happy days spent reading books on Iruka's couch, exchanging casual teasings and playing hide and seek with the brown-haired man would come to an end by the end of the following day, when Iruka would help him to move back to his own apartment and his own life.

He didn't want to go back to his own life. Not yet.

Frowning sadly, the silver-haired man reflected on how ironical his situation was; he was all trilled to be able to go out grocery shopping by himself again, yet it was precisely because he was able to do that kind of thing by himself that he didn't need to be looked after by Iruka anymore and that he would be forced to go back to his cold, empty apartment. For a moment, he almost wished he would still be in bed and need the man's help, but felt ashamed of wanting such a thing; Iruka had a life to go back to and it was unfair of him to want to monopolize it forever.

Kakashi wished that even though they both would go back their own way, they would still see each other once in a while. He knew it was probably not going to happen, but he couldn't help hoping for it. It was not because they had come to rather get along in the last few days that it meant the chuunin would actually want to spend time with him once he wasn't forced to anymore. Besides, Iruka was always busy and almost never had time for himself, let alone time to spend with other people. Plus, the jounin's schedule wasn't exactly that shiny either; when he wasn't training and overlooking Team seven, the Hokage made sure to keep him busy with S-rank missions so he barely had time to himself. No matter how hopeful he tried to be, reality always crashed in and left him grim and morose. But he guessed it couldn't be helped; Iruka and he had never really been meant to be friends.

Suddenly frowning, Kakashi inwardly scolded himself for moping again about the prospect of Iruka and his future non-existent relationship. He was only leaving the following evening, and right now he needed not to be focusing on the future but instead on the present and on more important issues. Like trying to find out what he could do to cheer up the brown-haired man. Iruka was obviously going through a crisis and although the jounin had no clue what it could be about, he was determined to help the man feel better. Admittedly, he probably wasn't the best-suited person to cheer up or give any advice to the upset brown-haired man, but he liked to think that his interventions so far had made the chuunin feel better. After he had somehow managed to talk the Iruka into eating more unhealthy comfort food that any person should be allowed to in one evening, the academy teacher had looked more composed. He had even managed to make him laugh once or twice ever since, but it was obvious that the chuunin was still not himself. He kept on frowning to himself and had the distant look of a man who was too absorbed by his own musings to focus on anything else, and it worried Kakashi. That was how it had started a few days ago, when the chuunin suddenly started to frown a lot and get unfocused easily. After the chuunin had nearly broken down on his carbonized stir-fry, Kakashi had hoped that things would get better, yet this morning found the brown-haired man looking even more unfocused and upset than before.

That was actually the real reason why Kakashi had insisted that he needed to try buying grocery by himself before he went back home. When it became obvious that even fatty comfort food and casual jokes wouldn't help the chuunin to feel better, the jounin had thought that Iruka may need to spend some time alone to think a few things out without having him in the way and had found himself some excuse to leave the upset man alone. He hoped he had done the right thing. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt that it had been a bad idea. What if the academy teacher had another stir-fry crisis? What if he needed Kakashi to cheer him up right now and that he wasn't there? God forbid him, what if he _actually_ set fire to the apartment this time? In his current dazzled state, the chuunin may be a danger to himself.

Feeling increasingly anxious, Kakashi forced his protesting legs to walk faster. How could he have not thought about it? Of course the chuunin was in danger if left alone to himself when he was in this kind of state! How stupid he had been to think of Iruka's feelings before thinking of his security!

But Iruka was probably alright, right? He was a trained ninja after all; no matter how upset and unfocused he was, if he was in danger his ninja training would kick in, right? Besides, it was not like there were a lot of things to blow up in such a small apartment; he couldn't possibly seriously injure himself there. There was no need for him to be so worried. Nevertheless, Kakashi's did not slow down his pace, even when his legs started to feel stiff and weaker under him and it was with immense relief that he reached at last Iruka's apartment building, which was thankfully free of smoke or any other tale-tell sign of massive destruction. Still, he wouldn't be reassured until he saw with his own eyes that the chuunin was safe and sound.

With a bit of apprehension, Kakashi entered the apartment and his senses quickly reached out, looking for any kind of disturbance. To his relief, he found absolutely none; the apartment was perfectly quiet and there were no signs that any kind of destruction had occurred in the last few hours. Iruka was in his bedroom and if his chakra flow was any indication, he was perfectly fine. The jounin let out a breath he hadn't known he had held in; for an awful moment he had imagined that something terrible might have happened to chuunin…! How glad he was to see that for once, he had been wrong! If something would have happened to Iruka during his absence, he would have never forgiven himself…!

Sighing, Kakashi guessed he had been stupid to panic like a mother hen like that; no matter how distracted he was, Iruka of course wouldn't blow up his whole apartment if left by himself for a few hours. He was a trained, responsible chuunin, not a five years old. Yet, he hadn't been able to help feeling worried for the younger men – maybe he was becoming soft, after all.

… The silver-haired man knew it was stupid, but some part of him still wasn't quite reassured yet. Of course, the academy teacher was ought to be alright, but somehow he felt compelled to take a peek at the man and make sure everything was fine. Just a peek. He'd come up with some reason; he wanted to make absolutely sure that the chuunin was physically unharmed. Putting the groceries down on the kitchen counter, the silver-haired man walked to Iruka's bedroom and quietly opened the door.

"Say Iruka-"

His head was barely inside the room that he heard a loud gasp and caught a glimpse of a flushed chuunin quickly slapping something shut and shoving it under his blankets faster than he's even seen someone hide something before – but unfortunately for the chuunin, he had not been fast enough to prevent the Great Copy nin from getting a glimpse. The jounin blinked, surprised.

Well, well. Now, _that_ was unexpected.

A positively aggravated and embarrassed Iruka glared at the silver-haired man angrily. "Can't you even knock before you come in?!" The flushing man barked, "You don't barge in somebody's room without knocking! Get out!"

Kakashi knew. He knew he should know better. He really did. But somehow, he couldn't help himself and before he knew it, the words were out of his mouth.

"How come you can read your porn and I can't read mine? Now that's not fair."

Funny how you learn new things everyday. For instance, Hatake Kakashi had never thought that the tanned chuunin's face could turn such a deep shade of scarlet, or that his eyes could get this wide.

But he had known just how loud the man could scream, though.

"I said GET OUT!!!" The chuunin bellowed in a deafening roar, grabbing the nearest lamp and throwing it at the jounin, who closed the door just in time not to have it smashing into his face. The vase crashed into the door and shattered loudly exactly where Kakashi's head had been only half a second ago and the jounin sheepishly walked back to the kitchen. Yup, he definitely shouldn't have worried so much over the man; Umino Iruka obviously could look after himself.

Sighing, Kakashi guessed he had managed to piss off the academy teacher. _Again_. Not that he seriously regretted it – the man's face had been so priceless, if it was to be done again he wouldn't hesitate. Besides, he doubted the chuunin would actually hold a grudge against him for it. He was not the kind of person to resent someone for teasing him; he'd simply make them pay back and call the other even. But he figured out he still needed to do something about it – not providing any kind of apology would only make matter worse, and he knew only too well the chuunin had blackmail material against him. To soothe the academy teacher, just an apology wouldn't do; he guessed the situation called for a peace offering of some sort. Reluctantly, the jounin ignored his tired and sore muscles' protestations and set off to prepare dinner.

On the bright side, he told himself, he had managed to get the chuunin to act like himself again. He even started training on dodging things again. This called for celebration.

\----

The Hokage was frowning at some official document she had just received from the Sand, deep in thoughts when someone knocked on her office door. Without looking up, she grunted at her visitor to come in. She only glanced up when she heard the door close behind her guest, and when she saw who it was, she shoved the document away – the Sand information could wait, this information she had been waiting for all day was ought to be given priority.

She stared sharply at the man. "Give me your mission report, soldier."

In front of her, the young man snorted. "Oi, there's no need to get so serious. What was this mission about anyway? You told me you'd give me an A-class, confidential mission!"

"Stop complaining already and give me your mission report, Naruto," the Godaime snarled and the blonde huffed but complied.

"I did what you told me to do, that's all. Made up a story about having doubts about my orientation and all that stuff."

"Did he believe you?"

"Yeah, he swallowed it."

The blonde had said those words with a strange mixture of pride and disappointment that made the Hokage smirk.

"What was his reaction?" Naruto shrugged.

"As far as I could tell, nothing special. He looked a bit surprised at first, but he remained composed. Gave me some advice. Made small talk. Walked me to the door. Like he always does in those kind of situations. But you were right; there's something wrong with him. When I came in, he was having _pizza leftovers_ as a snack!" Tsunade blinked at the young man, who looked positively appalled and disturbed by the idea.

"So what?"

"He was having pizza leftovers _at 10:30 in the morning_!"

"Oh. I see," The Hokage said flatly, making it quite obvious that she didn't have a clue where the teen was heading and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"It's just not the kind of thing that Iruka-sensei would do! What was this mission about anyway? How is this stupid story supposed to help Iruka-sensei?"

"It's confidential; you don't have enough security clearance to know. You should be happy you had any role to play in it at all."

"What!" The ramen-lover shouted. "Why would I be happy about it?! I had to tell Iruka-sensei that crap about being gay! I only did it because you said it would help him, but now you don't want to explain what's going on! Now Iruka-sensei is going to think that I'm gay and I don't even know why! That's not fair!"

The Hokage bent forward, smirking. "Shush. Between you and me Naruto, I'd be curious to know how much of that discussion you had with Iruka was invented."

The teenager took a step back, flushing furiously. "W-Whaaat-?!"

"That will be all, Shinobi," The blonde women cut him, switching her attention back to the Sand document she had put away earlier. "You are dismissed."

Naruto opened his mouth to protest loudly but the sharp, knowing glance the old women gave him positively convinced him against it. Flushing with anger and mortification, the teenager huffed and turned on his heels, leaving the Hokage's office stiffly. As she watched him leave, Tsunade mused on how clueless many of her soldiers seemed to be of late. Clueless, troublesome, but definitely entertaining, she decided with a last smile before giving her undivided attention to the Sand document.

* * *


	21. The Gemna Effect Part I

Umino Iruka rubbed the back of his stiff neck absently, letting out a sigh. It had been yet another demanding day at the ninja academy, and he was starting to feel the exhaustion of the past week settle in. As he had predicted, his absence had dire consequences on his students, and he was the one who now had to deal with it. Many prejudiced Konoha inhabitants held the comical misconception that teaching pre-genins was some kind of overpaid babysitter job that suited about any adult chuunin who had little desire to get their hands dirty on the field. The brown-haired chuunin snorted at that thought. Sometimes he wished those arrogant field jounins would take care of one of his classes for more than an hour, to see how _they_ fared with 30 wannabe ninjas. By the look of it, they'd probably do a better job than the replacement the Godaime had hired to take over his classes in his absence anyway. He'd seen it countless times before : new substitute teachers thought they knew what the job was all about before they entered the classroom, but they were usually ready to resign by the end of the first week – either in tears or about to slice a couple of little throats. From what he had gathered, his substitute had given up trying to teach anything to the little devils before the end of the first week and the class had been more or less in a constant state of turbulence and open mutiny the whole time. It took Iruka a full week just to get the class back to an acceptable level of orderliness – and he didn't even want to think about all the catching up they would have to go through in the following weeks. To think he was going to have to go through the trouble to re-do all his lesson plans _again_...

As he unlocked his front door and walked into his apartment, the academy teacher's first thoughts went to a certain silver-haired jounin, until he remembered that Hatake Kakashi was no longer there. Frowning, the chuunin walked to the kitchen and dropped his bag on the table dejectedly. The Copy nin had been gone for a whole week now, and he was still expecting him to be there when he came back from work, waiting for him on that spot on the couch he had come to consider his, a book in his hand and a bored look on the visible part of his face. And unfailingly, when the realization that he was coming back to an empty apartment dawned upon him again, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. Why was that? He had always come back to an empty apartment and it had never, in all these years of teaching at the academy, bothered him one bit. So why was he feeling so down about it suddenly?

At first, the chuunin had thought it was because he was used to have someone around. He had thought he was simply lonely. Hadn't he expected it? He had known all along he would miss the man's presence in his humdrum daily life. But he had guessed he would get over it after a few days. He had not expected to feel more acutely that there was something amiss as days went by. Why couldn't he get used to the idea that Kakashi wouldn't be there to greet him? That Kakashi had left and wouldn't come back?

Iruka couldn't get it. To think he had come to appreciate the man, given their history, was a feat in itself, but to be _missing_ him? It seemed like pushing things a lot. But as the days went by, the brown-haired man was starting to realize this nagging amiss feeling amounted to more than simple loneliness. More than the man's presence, he was missing Hatake Kakashi as a person, and that was something he simply couldn't understand.

It was not like the man was amazingly funny or flamboyant – on the contrary, in spite of what people thought they knew about the eccentric jounin, he was actually a rather quiet and discreet person. Having him around was like having a stray cat napping on one's couch. Like a stray, Kakashi-sensei was nonchalant and didn't need nor want to be taken care of, but he liked to have someone around anyway. Though he gave him the distinct impression he wasn't aware of his presence most of the time, so lost in his book that he was, the jounin somehow always managed to appear out of nowhere when there was food and for some reason, he always showed up to offer non-verbal support when Iruka was depressed, just like a cat.

It puzzled the academy teacher. When had he come to consider Hatake Kakashi, of all people, a comforting presence in his life? God knew he had wished the man could have stayed anywhere else during most of his stay at Iruka's. And why was he feeling like he was some kind of stray Iruka was responsible of? It was true that the man had showed up rather unexpectedly in his life, wounded and fearful, so much like a couple of stray cats he had taken care of back when he had been a lonely teenager. Back then, he had lived in a very small apartment on the eastern edge of the town, and had often run into abandoned pets or strays that had gotten wounded in the forest right outside the village. More out of duty than anything else, Iruka had taken in half a dozen of these wounded strays over the years, no matter how much trouble he knew they were. Not without getting a couple of scratches along the way, he had managed to get the cats to trust him to some point and to nurse them back to health. But though they had been comfy on his couch, they had remained stray cats – it was not in their nature to lounge around like pets. They longed to be out there in the wildness, where they belonged. As he had known all along they would, eventually they left, and every time, no matter how many times he had gotten scratched or bitten, Iruka ended up missing them and hoping they would come back once in a while. And when they did not, he wondered if perhaps it was something he had done that drove the cats away, or worried over them, wondering if they could have gotten beaten up again by another bossy stray out there.

With a twinge, Iruka realized he felt about Kakashi's departure the same kind of feelings he had felt as a lonely kid when another stray cat left him to return to the wild. Somehow along the way, though he couldn't figure out why, he had gotten attached to the silver-haired man, and though he wasn't there anymore, his thoughts still flew to him. And he had to admit to himself that he even felt a bit concerned about the man's health – though he really had no reason to worry, as Shizune wouldn't have let him leave if he hadn't been ready to take care of himself again. But after spending so much time nursing the jounin back to health, he was concerned the man would overdo it and wound himself again just because he couldn't wait to go back on the field, which was something he felt the Copy nin was entirely capable of. Not that it was his call to look after him anymore. No, not anymore. He just hoped all his good work to get the man back to health wouldn't come to nothing, that was all.

Sighing dejectedly, the chuunin unpacked his bag and got ready for his shift at the mission desk. He couldn't say he was looking forward to an evening classing and handing over mission reports after the kind of week he had gone through, but at this time of the year they were always understaffed and he knew they needed all the extra hands they could afford.

Feeling much too tired for the kind of evening he knew was in store him, the brown-haired man peered inside his fridge, grabbed the leftover stir-fry from Tuesday and sniffed it tentatively. He could be turned into a chicken if the thing didn't turn into odd-tasting mushy goo after a week in the fridge and microwave re-heating, but it smelled about alright, or at least he thought so. With a mental shrug, he put the stir-fry in the microwave and went hunting for a gray kitten, wondering where the energetic furball was. Or rather, what was keeping him so busy he hadn't cared to come and see what Iruka was doing in the kitchen.

Iruka found the little gray ball curled up on the couch, exactly where the jounin used to sit to read, fast asleep. The cute sight brought a wan smile to the man's lips. It was incredible how such a hellish little creature could look so vulnerable and angelic when asleep. When the Copy nin had left, the little guy lost both his favourite cushion and his favourite playtime buddy, and Iruka had caught him more than once pacing around the couch, probably wondering where his favourite victim had gone to. Obviously, the kitten was missing Hatake Kakashi as much as he was. And that thought reminded him once more of the Copy nin and of how much his absence weighted on him. Perhaps….

Perhaps he could drop by Kakashi's apartment during the weekend? To see how the man was faring…?

Iruka shook his head. What was wrong with him? Hatake Kakashi was a grown man who could take care of himself, he didn't need a nosy chuunin to come around and poke into his life. Beside, taking care of him for a few weeks did not entitle him to call on him randomly just like that.

Discarding away that thought, Umino Iruka went back to the kitchen and the horrid leftovers awaiting him. As he chewed on a mouthful of mushy vedgies that tasted about as bad as he had figured they would, the chuunin tried to find some twisted comfort in the thought that he surely wouldn't be feeling lonely at the mission room. A bit of social interaction with adults would be a nice change after a week spent with clumsy children, lesson plans and papers to grade.

Even if said adults were desperate to marry him or have him marry one of their relative, he remembered with a groan. But, no. The brown-haired man decided not to let himself be drowned in dark thoughts tonight: something positive was ought to come out of this lousy day. He just knew it would. After all, they would give up on him at some point, wouldn't they? It was not like he could remain the village's most wanted single chuunin forever. People could only remain interested for so long with nothing to feed on, and it was especially true for ninjas, who weren't quite known for their large attention spawn to begin with. So perhaps it was time for him to drop the hendge and start being seen again in public places? Well, he could at least give it a try and see how things turned out. Perhaps he was worrying over nothing and there would be no more food fights and bickering over him where ever he went. How would he find out if he never tried?

o0o0o

Barely a few hours later, in the mission room, Umino Iruka realized he had been right, for once. Usually, that was supposed to be a good thing, unless you were a very pessimistic person, which was not the brown-haired man's case. But somehow been right this time hadn't brought him the relief he had expected it would.

The chuunin growled under his breath, annoyed at nobody and everybody in general. He should have chosen more carefully his words when he had made that wish earlier, he thought surly. When he had wished that people would stop fighting over him, he had meant he wanted people to stop making such a fuss over him. He had not meant he wanted people to avoid him like the plague! Since the beginning of his shift, about two dozen of people had come to hand in their mission report to him, though the mission room had been literally overcrowded during most of his shift. While everybody else's waiting lines were crowded, Iruka spent most of his evening waiting for work.

In all honesty, Umino Iruka did not mind being avoided that much. Considering how unpleasant the last few weeks had been, the thought of being avoided instead of sought for was a nice change, even if it stung a little. It was the curious looks and whispers around him that were irritating him.

Oh, let's rephrase that. Those curious, _contemptuous_ and mocking looks and whispers. All over again, he felt like he was the center of the most popular village drama, instead that this time, it was plainly clear that he wasn't showing in such a splendid light anymore. Tapping his fingers against his desk moodily, the chuunin scanned with his eyes the few people left in the mission room at this late hour, wondering what he had done to deserve this kind of attention, caught gonorrhoea? Had Anko poured some gruesome story about him into the village gossip network to keep rivals at bay? Hell, by the look people were giving him, she could have told the village they were dating! Anyhow, the very least these shameless gossipers could do would be to look away when he caught them staring, for God's sake. They didn't even bother to try and hide their amused scornfulness. Even the people who had come to hand their mission report in to him – some of which he knew quite well and talked to on weekly basis - had looked curious and amused by the whole situation. This was starting to really piss him off.

And as if his evening hadn't been shitty enough, about a third of the people he'd had to deal with had been odd men – the kind that gave desk members the creeps. Not that they had been creepy per see - he could deal with creepy alright. No, it was their attitude that had been… perplexing. He thought they were trying to be engaging, but they acted like sham, clingy morons who just wouldn't stop talking and go away, which seemed to interest enormously the crowd of spectators making up the waiting lines in front of the other staff members. Iruka wouldn't be surprised they had been dared to come over and talk to him, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why would anybody want to do that. Something was off there too. And Iruka was already more than a little fed up of being the laughing stock of these morons. Merely two hours ago, he remembered thinking he would rather not know what this new collective behaviour toward him was all about. He had thought it was not like he could do a thing about it anyway, so why bother? But now he wished he had a clue what was going on, and if someone didn't tell him very soon he felt like he was going to have a fit of anger of monstrous proportions.

The chuunin growled under his breath, but waited patiently for the room to finally clear. After what seemed forever, the last mission report was handed in, and one of the staff member went to lock the door behind the last customer. As soon as the door was closed, Iruka lashed out.

"Okay now," he snapped crossly at rest of the mission staff, "Can someone be kind enough to tell me what the _fuck_ is going on here?"

The four other nins looked suddenly rather uneasy, confirming that they had heard the rumours as well. Looking away, none of them seemed to want to break in the news to the already pissed-off Iruka, though.

"Kaanan-san?" He gnarled at the married woman next to him, who looked up, startled.

"Oh, well, some silly gossip, you know!" she tried to sound casual, shrugging. "Don't worry 'bout it. It's nothing important, really."

"Lemme judge of that," the brown-haired chuunin growled, glaring. "So what _is_ it?"

The brunette woman made a face. "Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I might as well tell you, but don't get pissed at me. You remember when Genma said you had to be gay to turn down all the single pretty women in town?"

Iruka didn't like where this was going. "I do…"

"Well", Kaanan sighed, giving him an apologetic smile, "the word got around town, you see."

Iruka gaped at her as the information sunk in. There was an uneasy silence as they all stared at the brown-haired man tensely, fearing some sort of outburst.

"You mean," he said blankly, finally registering what was going on, "the whole village knows I'm gay?"

"So you _are_ gay," the other kunoichi, a bland-looking blonde, mumbled in an astonished way, and Iruka felt color leave his face. The other staff members smiled hesitantly at him, looking like they couldn't figure out if they were sorry for him or amused at his expanse. Groaning, he banged his head against the desk, feeling his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Real smart, Umino. Way to be inconspicuous about it. Above him, he heard someone snigger and Kaanan patted his shoulder soothingly.

"Don't worry Iruka-kun," she told him warmly, "We won't make fun of you… Well, not much anyway." More snickers.

"Don't despair, there's a good side to it. No more Anko and no more clingy girls to turn down anymore."

But the chuunin was barely listening to their words. He simply couldn't believe this was happening. He had found out he was homosexual only recently. He wasn't even that sure he felt okay with that knowledge yet and knew even less how he was supposed to deal with it in his daily life. And now, by some twisted cosmic joke, he just found out the whole village already KNEW about it! No wonder these guys had acted up so strangely. They had been _hitting_ on him, he realized with horror. _Hitting on him_!

"No, now I have to deal with clingy gay guys instead," he groaned against the desk, and someone snickered discreetly again. Of course, trust them all to have noticed he was being hit on by morons all evening long. He must have been the only _jerk_ in the whole mission room who hadn't understood these men had been blatantly flirting with him. Thinking back of some of the puzzled or annoyed replies he gave some of them, he felt his cheeks heat up as he discovered a whole new meaning to his words. No wonder people were so amused! What a clown he'd made of himself! Now people not only knew he was gay, but also thought he was a weirdo as well!

"Now, you've got to be fair with yourself," an older staff member said in his slow, deep voice. "Some of them weren't half bad."

"Well, that tan jounin from the 7th division was actually nice. He's not bad looking, too. A shame he's gay, really, but all the good ones are."

"Like Iruka-sensei," the blonde said sullenly. The academy teacher remembered she had been one of the single women of the mission room staff to show interest for him in the past weeks.

"Don't worry," the deep voice of Urani-san came again, "They're gonna get over it pretty soon. The village already has its share of gay nins. You just happen to interest a lot of people, with your reputation and all."

"Come on, cheer up, Iruka-sensei!" Kaanan said when the chuunin wouldn't look up, trying to sound encouraging. "At least, this means things will get back to normal. No more women chasing your cute little ass 'round town, how does that sound?"

"Don't speak too fast," Iruka heard the fourth staff member, the one who had been sniggering at him earlier, speak up. "What tells us these women won't come back for a gay best friend? From what I gather, women seem to want those as well."

"Rusu-kun," Kaanan said warningly in her stern-mother voice, "Iruka-kun needs cheering up here. You're not helping."

Finally looking up, Iruka tried to glare at the wall, but couldn't find the energy to anymore. "I am soooooo gonna _kill_ Genma."

These words seemed to amuse his coworkers, who relaxed. "If I had a penny every time I heard this!" Kannan shook her head, snorting loudly. "I'd be so ridiculously rich!"

"Speaking of Genma," Urani-san said in his slow, baritone voice, "Anyone heard of him? He hasn't been around for a while."

Before anyone could say anything, the brown-haired kunoichi burst out laughing, and people stared. It was so unlike her that Iruka almost stopped to mope over himself.

"Genma! Oh, I figure we won't see him around for a while!"

"Why's that?"

The kunoichi eyed them mischievously and bit her lower lip. "Well… I told myself I wouldn't tell anyone, but seeing how things turned out for poor Iruka-kun because of Genma's bid mouth… I guess the man had it coming." She paused, choosing carefully her words. "I guess I… discovered why the senbon-sucker keeps coming back to the mission room. It was because of the Godaime actually, I would have never figured it out myself. But the Godaime, she's nobody's fool – she had known all along, I gather."

"Spit it out already, it's already half past midnight and my wife's gonna be pissed at me if I get home too late again."

"All right, all right!" She said, looking flushed. "That day, when the Godaime dropped by the mission room, Genma was hanging around again, so she ordered him into the small archive room at the back. Now, I wasn't eavesdropping of anything-" her light touch of pink spread across her cheeks "but when I went to the staff kitchenette to get another coffee mug, I so happened to overhear a bit of the discussion. Long story short," the kunoichi took a breath, "the reason why Genma haunts the mission room is because he wants to see his crush and is too much of a sissy to make a move."

This last piece of information left pretty much everyone speechless, even Iruka, and Kaanan couldn't fight a smug little smile at their reaction.

"You gotta be kidding me."

"Genma has a _secret crush_? Are we talking about the same Gemna here? The guy who flirts petty much anything that has boobs?"

"I guess it's a front to mislead people," she smiled slowly, "because when he left the building, I managed to get a glimpse of him, and he looked like a chastised schoolboy who's just being caught watching women getting undressed at the local bathhouse. He was even _blushing_." She said the last word as though she meant it to make an impression.

"Really? Wow… I never would have thought Genma could be shy to ask someone out like that..."

"Me neither. I mean, we're talking of _Genma_. The man has his reputation."

"I guess he has his reasons," Kaanan said airily and Iruka's eyes narrowed. He knew Kaanan too well – and had far too much experience dealing with lying children - not to figure out on the spot she was holding back something rather juicy.

"Kaanan," he said slowly, "You're hiding something."

As he had guessed she would, the brunette suddenly looked startled, huffing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You _know_ who he's pinning after, right?" Iruka leaned forward, and so did the other staff members, their eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"Well, perhaps I do! But no matter how much a jerk he's been to you Iruka-kun, Genma doesn't deserve to have his secret revealed like this. I'm sure it would crush him, really."

"Like I'm not crushed myself," the academy teacher muttered mutinously, but he wasn't angry enough with the man to actually want to expose him for real. Sure, Genma was the cause of the latest shitty thing that happened in his life - and he was still going to murder him for it, of course – but that didn't mean he wanted to see the man get hurt or humiliated to get revenge. The thought of the infamous flirt Genma having a schoolboy crush on someone was, in a way, so amusing that it almost made up in a strange way for the man's bad choice of words of late. So he didn't press her.

But the others didn't have as much scruples.

"Ohhh, come on! Don't be so sappy 'bout it, we're talking about Genma! Gemna, woman, _Genma_!" the married nin moaned irritably and Urani-san snickered as he got up to leave, shaking his head.

"You can't just tease us like that and not tell us!" the blonde kunoichi whined.

"Sorry, but no can do."

"Please, Kaanan!"

"I said no."

"I won't tell anyone, I swear!"

"Nope." Smiling slightly, Iruka gathered his belongings, getting ready to leave as well.

"Come on, I'll trade my Spring break mission room assignment with you so you can go to that bathhouse with your husband!

"No."

"Welllllll." The blonde sighed at last. "At least we know he's got a thing for a mission room staff member! I wonder… could it be… me?!"

"It's not you," the brunette answered flatly.

"Oh well, figures…"

Iruka didn't hear the rest of the discussion, as he was already walking outside the mission room. In front of him, the streets were quiet and dark, and the cold and humid air of the night sent a shiver down his spine. The cold was not unwelcome though, because with all these emotions, he felt truly exhausted and the cold air at least helped him keep his head clear.

So the whole village now knew he was into men… The chuunin sighed dejectedly at the thought as he walked back home. Well, it was quite an unpleasant surprise, there was no point denying that. But for some reason, that thought didn't make him feel nearly as mortified as he had felt a few minutes ago. He guessed he had to thank to Kaanan-san for it – even if it only lasted a short moment, she had managed to take his mind off it with her gossip about Genma, and somehow that put things back into perspective.

He was not happy at all about the turn the events had taken and didn't even want to start thinking about all the complications and frustrations it would generate, but at least he didn't have to worry about crazy kunoichi chasing him around the city, women straining their ankles in front of his door or middle-aged women fighting over him in the middle of the street anymore. And that was such a huge relief that the inconveniences of his new situation could not completely cloud it. Besides, there had been a lot of wisdom in his coworker's words: now that he was "out of the closet", as they say, the smirks, curious glances and whispers could only last so long. People would speculate over his homosexuality for a while, look disdainful and tell each other why they had always known he was a queer, but when they realized he didn't care and remained as boring and single as ever, Iruka knew for sure their interest would disappear like snow on a sunny day and things would finally get better.

Things would get better, but they wouldn't get back to normal. He doubted things _could_ even get back to normal – just the thought of the kind of problems this was bound to create when his students and their parents heard of the news was enough to make him groan. But he would deal with it. He was competent and his work was appreciated by the people who mattered, so he didn't really have to worry about something like that actually making him lose his job. And considering the interest the Godaime seemed to have mysteriously taken in his love life of late, he felt reasonably certain that she would not let his coworkers or superior to harass him about it. Iruka had never thought he would ever be glad for Tsunade-sama poking her nose into his sex life, but he guessed he was now, in a twisted kind of way.

The brown-haired man nearly stopped at his own chain of thoughts, frowning. He had sort of just made his coming out, thanks to Genma's loud mouth, and the first thing he was worried about was his _job_ and how his coworkers, his students and their parents would take the news? The chuunin grimaced at how pathetic that sounded, even to his own ears. This kind of thought process proved once again, he realized not without a bit of sorrowfulness, that work was taking way to much space in his rather shallow and lonely life, and more acutely than ever before, the chuunin felt it was wrong.

What would normal gay guys worry over? The reaction of their friends and family, he supposed. But Umino Iruka was an orphan, and didn't have that many close friends he could say whose opinion matter a lot to him. He hung out with Naruto and Team seven of course, but they were only teenagers, and considering the last discussion he'd had with the blond teen, he doubted the ramen-lover would mind much learning he preferred men. He hung out sometimes with a few mission room staff members, if going out for a few drinks four – five times a year could be called hanging out. And there was Kakashi-sensei.

… Kakashi-sensei, really? Iruka mused, wondering about what the eccentric man meant to him. It was strange, really, because although he felt he barely knew the man, he also realized he knew him very well, probably better than people who had been close to him for years. At least, he knew for a fact that Hatake Kakashi didn't care which way he swung – he doubted he even realized it was something normal people looked down upon to start with. That thought made him smile, and what people thought suddenly didn't matter as much as before. For some reason, the knowledge that the silver-haired man accepted him like he was and wouldn't act differently toward him because of his homosexuality… made everything else seem less important. This was something no-one could take away from him, something that wouldn't change and that he knew he could hold tight to in the upcoming storm. He had no clue why the man's approval meant so much to him. Perhaps it was because the man was one of the few adults in Konoha he felt close to. Yeah, it was probably it.

The chuunin didn't feel like trying to understand what that sudden relief meant or why he cared so much. He was too tired to start thinking again of Hatake Kakashi, he decided. The man's mystery would have to wait until tomorrow. In the meanwhile, he made his way home with the comforting thought that even if everything else broke apart, he could count on the aloof jounin not to give a shit.

Even so, Umino Iruka decided he needed to go out more. See people, have some fun with people of his age, for a change. Even if that meant going into a _bar._ He couldn't say he was fond of the idea, but anything except work would be good to chase away that feeling of loneliness that had crept along the edges of his life for too long. The chuunin swore he was going to be more outgoing.

…Soon. He couldn't right now, not with all the lesson planning he still needed to for the following weeks. And besides, it was perhaps not the best of ideas to start going out just as the word of his homosexuality had gotten out – people would be whispering on his way and staring at him oddly, and in such an ambiance it would be hard to have any fun, and possibly impossible to get to know better and befriend people. Not to mention, he remembered with a slight blush, all the attention he was sure to get from the gay guys around town. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, the academy teacher started to walk faster. He really didn't feel ready for face any flirty gay guy for the moment – this was all too knew for him to even consider any of them. Even if they were hot – especially if they were hot, in fact. Just the thought of being flirted by a sexy man in the low-light ambiance of a bar was enough to make the chuunin's heart race, but not in the good sense of it. If such a guy was to come up to him, there was no saying he wouldn't panic, act like a moron and/or probably make a run for the door. No, flirting was not something he felt ready to deal with, and dating even less.

But if today was any example, his reputation as a dependable, nice guy was ought to get him more attention than he wanted from the male homosexual population of the village. He guessed he'd dealt with it today – though admittedly not wittedly – so he could deal with it again. It was no bid deal. Right? Right. And beside what his coworkers had said earlier, none of these men, that he could remember of, had been very attractive. Being flirted by these kinds of guys was going to be embarrassing and bothersome, annoying, even, but it would not upset him like the attention of someone like Hatake Kakashi would –

The chuunin froze on the spot.

Wait.

_Hatake Kakashi?_

Why had he thought of the Copy nin just then? Of all the suave, good looking men he could possibly feel strong attraction for in Konoha, why had the name of Kakashi-sensei been the first to pop up in his mind? Admittedly, the man was very good-looking under that mask with his fair, smooth skin, his straight nose and somewhat full lips, and he sure had a fine body too, slender-looking but surprisingly sharp and muscled, but- but-!

Umino Iruka gaped at the empty road in front of him, deep in shock. He could not believe… He could not believe he was having this kind of thoughts for the silver-haired man! They'd spent weeks together, he had had to bath and undress the man more than once, and he could say that no remotely sexual thought had ever crossed his mind in these kind of situation, so why now? Of course, he had _noticed_ back then the man was attractive – he was not blind! But back when Kakashi had still been unable to move, he slowly remembered, he had still been feeling unconcerned about his own (nonexistent) sexuality. It had been Genma's stupid comment and the Godaime's ridiculous "mission" that had made him reconsider things… Mainly, to start thinking of love and sex – with a man - as something that *could* come up unexpectedly in his life, rather than something he had given up on for a long time without even realizing it. But even knowing that, considering how he had gotten acquainted with some, hum, more intimate parts of the man's anatomy, Iruka felt dirty to be thinking of the man's body in such a light now. He didn't want to see the man as some kind of piece of meat – their relationship was already fucked-up enough as things were without his burgeoning libido messing it up some more.

God, could it be the reason why he cared so much for the jounin's opinion and was missing him so much was because he… had some sort of crush for him…?

As soon as the idea came to his mind, Iruka dismissed it with slight annoyance. No, it couldn't be something of the sort. The very thought of him having any kind of feeling for the twisted, eccentric man was laughable. Him, fond of "Sharigan" Hatake Kakashi? That the mere thought of it came to him mind was either the sign that he needed to have his mental health checked, or that he was so terribly exhausted he wasn't thinking clear anymore.

He really, really needed to rest.


	22. Announcement

I told people countless time I would not discontinue this fic without warning you, and up to now, I've always intended to eventually finish Clueless Teachers. Give it at least a sense of closure. That was, until now.

I'm not going to update this story anymore. It's discontinued. I'm really sorry guys. I've put so much energy into it that I feel rather empty and speechless about it all. I don't know what to say, really. I still like Kakairu very much, but in a nostalgic kind of way. I guess I've moved on?

I want to thank everyone who's followed me through this adventure – your kind comments kept me writing well after I started falling out of love with Naruto. You've been a source of inspiration and given me the confidence to think about starting writing professionally. Which is what I'm trying to do, right now. In French, of course! Curse my terrible English :P

Anyhow, thanks again everyone. You've made this adventure worthwile.

And don't worry, I'm not planning to delete my account or anything.

By the way, over the years I've hoarded up a lot of yaoi manga and KakaIru doujinshi that I must part with now – visit my livejournal page at www.lunael/livejournal.com to learn more. If anyone is interested.


End file.
